The Invitation
by Rhonda1
Summary: *~*Conclusion UPDATED*~*...Set five years into the future. SD-6 has been obliterated. So why is Vaughn getting ready to marry someone else?
1. A Broken Promise

**Disclaimer**: Most of the characters mentioned in this story belong to J. J. Abrams.  Minor appearances made by those of my own creation.

**Distribution**: Ask me first and tell me where so I can visit.

**Feedback**: Yes, please, it really makes my day.

**Spoilers**: AU, so none.  

**Summary**: Set five years into the future. SD-6 has been obliterated. So why aren't Sydney and Vaughn together?

**Author's Note**: Hi everyone, I'm back!  Maybe some of you remember me or maybe you don't, but in any case, I hope you check out my new story.  I thought I'd put the first chapter out today in lieu of there being no new episode tonight.  Grrr!  If you let me know what you think, the second chapter might be ready in time for Thanksgiving Day.

P.S. I also wanted to say thanks to everyone who read and reviewed my last fic.  I couldn't believe it when I was still getting reviews more than two weeks after the last chapter was posted.  And although I'm still working on this one right now, you may be getting a follow-up to "**A Second Chance**" if I can get my brain to come up with a plot.

See ya later and please review!

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As Sydney Bristow neared her house, her early-morning jog slowed down to a walk. The beach was deserted at six-thirty in the morning, her favorite time to run. The sun was just starting to come up over the horizon and the air was still cool and a bit heavy from a late-night fog. In the year that had passed since her move from L.A. to Santa Barbara, she had come to love this time of the morning and she took advantage of it by running everyday, rain or shine.

She was barely out of breath as she trudged her way across the soft sand, stopping for a moment to pick up an empty soda can that had been carelessly tossed aside. Even though it was no longer required of her, Sydney still hit the gym regularly in addition to keeping up with her running program. She was pleased that she was still in fighting shape, even a year after leaving the CIA.

When her house came into view, Sydney's face broke out into a smile. She loved her little beach cottage, the exterior paint weathered to a dusty blue with spiffy white trim. When she wasn't working, she was fixing up her place, either painting the walls or re-tiling the kitchen floor or making throw pillows. She fancied herself as quite the little seamstress these days, albeit with some wry amusement. She did great as long as everything she sewed had four corners and was in the shape of a square.

As Sydney walked up the three steps to her front door, she removed her house key from her jacket pocket and let herself in. Whenever she walked into her house, a calming sort of peace came over her as if she had finally found a place where she belonged and could call her own.

The first thing on her agenda was a much-needed shower, so she headed upstairs, peeling off her running clothes and leaving them in a pile on the floor of her pretty, feminine-looking bedroom painted the color of a cool sage green. She walked into the bathroom, the cold tile feeling chilly against her bare feet. Sydney gave a little shiver as she pulled the scrunchie out of her hair and gave her head a little shake before stepping into the shower. Moments later, the jet spray from the showerhead was streaming down on her head as hot as she could stand it.

Later on, as she stood in front of the mirror in her fluffy white bathrobe while blow-drying her hair, Sydney's mind couldn't help but wander. It was coming up soon. The first anniversary of the dissolution of SD-6 and the destruction of Arvin Sloane. 

That morning had started out like any other. She had gone into work as usual and they were all in the conference room where Sloane was detailing the latest mission. Everyone had been there: Dixon, Marshall, her father. One minute Sloane was regaling them with miscellaneous facts about Ralf Kleinschmidt, a noted arms dealer based in Colombia. The next minute CIA agents were pouring into the room, yelling and barking out orders, their weapons drawn. Sydney hadn't been informed by the CIA that a takedown operation had even been in the works, so her reactions to the armed enforcers had been genuine. She could only stand there mutely, her head down, as she was handcuffed and taken into federal custody along with everyone else.

Sydney hadn't been arrested, of course, but thus began weeks of interviews and interrogations and investigations. The entire world was reeling at finding out about SD-6's existence, a secret organization posing as a black ops division of the CIA. To ensure her own safety, Sydney was not allowed to leave her bland utilitarian holding cell until it was decreed that her life was no longer in any danger by retaliatory forces and so she was kept as a virtual prisoner herself, although admittedly, her living conditions were not as dismal as Sloane's.

While in seclusion, Sydney had been allowed to receive visitors, but only if they were involved with the case against SD-6. Since that little stipulation immediately cut her friends out of the picture, it wasn't such a surprise to her that her drop-in guests were few and far between. Her father checked on her as much as he could when he wasn't being put the wringer himself, but she knew he was going through the same thing she was and consequently, she couldn't expect too much from him.

Her only other visitor during her weeks of captivity had been Vaughn. The first time he showed up, she had been overjoyed to see him. She had almost greeted him by throwing her arms around his neck when she suddenly stopped herself, not liking the vibes he was giving off. He appeared to be stiff and ill-at-ease in her company. He also looked tired. Sydney noticed the circles under his eyes and the drawn look of his face. It was obvious that she wasn't the only one having to deal with the fallout from the takedown of SD-6.

Their time together had been brief. He asked how she was doing and she gave him the standard answer that she was fine. He apologized for not being able to see her sooner, but the countless meetings he was being forced to endure was a seemingly never-ending process. She told him she understood and that his first priority should have been to take care of himself. The rest of their stilted conversation was more of the same, polite and aloof and infinitely unsatisfying.

The second time he came to visit was also the last time she ever saw him. It happened three days before her eventual release from federal custody.

After finishing her evening meal, Sydney had just settled onto her bed with a book when there was a knock on her door. She heard the lock turn (yes, they locked her in at night) and was surprised to see Vaughn step into the room.

"Vaughn!" Sydney blurted out. Her room was windowless and had no air conditioning, so she had to make do with a portable fan and skimpy clothing. Her cheeks flushed as she realized her tank top and cut-offs left nothing to the imagination. It was obvious to her that he had noticed as well as his eyes appreciatively swept up and down her lithe figure.

"Hello, Sydney." Vaughn's green eyes still looked tired but the smile on his face as he greeted her warmed her heart. His attitude definitely seemed to be more upbeat than the last time he had visited her. Vaughn's glance cut away from her to the surveillance camera that was mounted in the corner of her room. "Do you have something we could use to cover that?" He inquired of her.

Her eyebrows arched upwards but she went into the bathroom and came back out with a large bath towel. She watched as Vaughn hopped up onto her desk chair and wrapped the towel completely around the camera lens, effectively blocking out the prying eyes of whoever had been watching her.

"Why--" Sydney began to say, but Vaughn held a finger to his lips to silence her. He walked over to the bedside lamp and turned it over. After running his hand along the base of the lamp, he found what he was looking for. He removed the tiny listening device, showed it to Sydney and then ground it under his shoe.

"What are you doing?" She asked incredulously, more than a little amused that he was tampering with government property. 

"There's no way we can have a private conversation if everybody and their brother is listening in." Vaughn said matter-of-factly. "What do you think we should do about the door?"

"I think the old chair-under-the-doorknob should do the trick." Sydney replied, moving around him in order to put her idea to the test. "Well, that'll hold for a little while at least." She said after pushing the chair snugly into place.

Vaughn looked thoughtful. "Hmmm, I always see people do that in movies, but I never thought it actually worked."

"Where do you think I got the idea from?" She said with a grin, dazzling him with her dimples. "So, um, do you want to sit down?" It was at that point they both realized that the only chair in the room was otherwise engaged, which meant they had to choose either the floor or the bed.

Vaughn gulped nervously and Sydney noticed. "Oh, come on, Vaughn, I won't bite!" She grabbed his arm and led him over to the bed. She flopped down against her woefully flat pillow and he took a tentative seat on the scratchy gray woolen blanket near the foot of the bed.

"So you wanted to have a private conversation." Sydney prompted him after a few moments of silence.

"Yeah." He finally spoke. "We haven't really had a chance to talk since everything went down."

"That's true." She nodded.

"I'm sorry that we couldn't tell you it was going to happen, Sydney." Vaughn gave her an apologetic look. "We weren't even sure ourselves until that very morning and I didn't want to get your hopes up."

"It's okay." She waved her hand. "It's probably better that you didn't tell me. We both know I've been disappointed before at all the times we tried and failed in the past."

He gave her a brief smile. "Well, we finally got one to stick and Sloane is going to go away for a very long time, Syd." He promised her.

"It's been a long time coming." Sydney remarked in a sober voice. They both took a moment to contemplate just how long it had been.

"So how are you holding up?" His voice was full of concern for her. Even after all these years, she was still able to take his breath away, but he thought he might have detected a bit of weariness in those big brown eyes.

"I'm hanging in." Sydney gave him a haggard little smile.

"I know this isn't exactly The Ritz, but it'll be over soon. Everyone just wants to be sure all their _t_'s are crossed and their _i_'s dotted." Vaughn said consolingly. "They also want to make sure that you won't be in any danger once they let you out."

"Yeah, well, I kind of expected the solitary confinement." She admitted. "It took us five excruciatingly long years to bring down SD-6 and it'll probably take twice as long to figure out the ramifications of it all." She shot him a wry glance. "Of course, that being said, I hope I won't be kept here for all that time."

"No, of course not." Vaughn gave her a grin. "You're an amazing woman, Sydney." He murmured appreciatively. "You know, what you've managed to accomplish? That's something major." He said quietly.

"Don't sit there and say that it was all me." Sydney gave him a mild scolding, feeling her face flush under the scrutiny of his gaze. "You were…I mean, I couldn't have done any of this without you, Vaughn." Their eyes met and held. "You were my rock…and my guardian angel…and…" She suddenly became choked up and couldn't continue.

"Syd…" Vaughn reached out and took hold of her hand. "I may have helped, but it was mostly you. Everyone here knows that."

"Well, then, they're giving me too much credit." She wiped hastily at her eyes, which were tearing up. "I know the truth. It was all of us, Vaughn. You, me, my father."

"And now it's finally over." Sydney shook her head in disbelief. "What happens now, Vaughn?" She was gazing at him in such a way that it nearly melted his heart.

"You're free, Sydney." He replied softly. "You've done what you set out to do. You've destroyed SD-6 and now you have the rest of your life ahead of you."

_The rest of her life_…now that was a scary and daunting prospect. Sydney had always said that she would get out of the spy life as soon as SD-6 was extinguished. Ever since she had learned the truth about Sloane and exposed all of the lies he had told her, her main focus in life had been to bring down the man who was responsible for Danny's murder. After many years of blood, sweat and tears, she had finally achieved that goal. 

But now that SD-6 gone, Sydney found herself face to face with a number of uncertainties surrounding her future. When they finally let her walk out the door, where would she go? What would she do? And perhaps most importantly of all, who would be the person waiting for her on the other side?

For the past three years, Sydney had had to live with the fact that she was in love with a man she couldn't have. She had thought losing Danny was the hardest thing she'd ever have to go through, but she had no idea how wrong she was. The death of a loved one was always a difficult thing to absorb, but at least it had a sense of finality to it. Yes, it had hurt like hell that he had been taken from her needlessly and before his time. But as the months passed, the pain had slowly lessened and her heart began to heal. She would always love Danny and would remember him fondly, but at the same time, she realized that it was pointless to want for something that would never happen. The dream she'd had about becoming Danny's wife would never be realized, so she had to find something else to inspire her, to give her hope that her future might someday be a place where she could live happily ever after, just like the fairy tales she used to read always promised her.

Sydney hadn't expected that falling in love again would be her salvation. It wasn't that she thought she couldn't love anyone again after Danny; she knew that kind of lonely existence wasn't for her. What startled her was the intensity of her feelings and the depth of her longing, especially for a man she might never have met had circumstances been drastically different.

Michael Vaughn had started out as her case handler, nothing more than a business colleague. He had gradually transformed into her friend, confidante and most trusted ally. And then their relationship evolved again.

The attraction had been there for awhile, as early as their first year working together. For a long time, she had tried to fight it while at the same time acknowledging how his smile made her knees go weak or how her heart fluttered when he told her she looked pretty. But her delight at being admired by someone she admired herself was always tempered by the knowledge that any involvement with Vaughn could end tragically for the both of them. Mild flirtation was relatively harmless, but at that point in their lives, they both knew it could never go any further than that. Not if they wanted to stay alive.

However, knowing this didn't stop their feelings from growing. Sometimes Sydney would catch Vaughn looking at her with a sad expression in his eyes and it didn't take much to guess what he was thinking. _If only they were just two ordinary people_… She had often wondered as well what it could be like for them after SD-6 was gone and there were no more obstacles between them.

Sydney had known of Vaughn's love for her long before she was able to admit to herself that she felt the same way about him. When she first became aware of his feelings, a part of her pitied him. It was an act of futility to be in love with Sydney Bristow, a woman with a scarred past and a future that held nothing more than promises of certain heartache and disappointment. Vaughn deserved so much more than the little she had to offer him. So dismayed at the thought of him wasting his life pining away for her, she had actually toyed with the idea of requesting another handler, in the hopes that she could still save him from a lifetime of pain and unhappiness.

But when push came to shove, Sydney knew she could never go through with it. She had come to depend on him so much, not just professionally, but emotionally as well. She was selfish enough that she didn't want to give him up, although at the time she told herself it was because they had come too far together for her to have to deal with breaking in another handler at this late date. To do so might set them back another year or two and that was a delay she would not tolerate.

Then something happened that forced her to admit she'd been lying to herself for months. It wasn't for purely business reasons that she wanted Vaughn to remain a part of her life. Without even realizing it, Sydney Bristow had let herself fall in love.

And all it had taken was a simple little kiss to prove it. Okay, so maybe it hadn't been simple or little. Maybe it had actually been the most amazingly soul-searching kiss she had ever received. She would never forget that night in Cairo, that one moment in time when everything had suddenly become crystal-clear to her.

That had been three years ago. Three long agonizing years with seemingly no end in sight.

Her father once told her that her mother had had the ability to make him happy and miserable at the same time. When Sydney first heard that statement, she couldn't comprehend how it could be true. If it made you happy to be around someone, then how could you be miserable?

But after realizing she was in love with a man she had no business wanting, her father's words made perfect sense to her. From that point on, every time Sydney met with Vaughn, it felt as if a knife was being twisted in her gut. She reveled at the chance to be near him, but at the same time it made her hurt all the more that she could never tell him how she felt about him. She wanted him desperately--sometimes to the point of a physical ache in the pit of her stomach--but she knew it simply could not happen while SD-6 was still alive and breathing.

Now SD-6 was gone. Were the feelings he had for her still there after all these years? And if they were, would they be able to make it work? Sydney was terrified at the thought that it could all fall apart now that they no longer had a common foe against which to fight. What if it had just been their work that had kept them together these last five years?  

"Syd?" Vaughn's voice brought her out of her reverie at the same time there was a pounding on her door. Startled, they both jumped off the bed.

"I guess they finally got clued in to my little disappearing act." Sydney cracked.

"Yeah, it looks as if they're going to bust down the door pretty soon, so we don't have much time." Vaughn grabbed her hands in his and forced her to face him. The shouting and banging outside continued.

"Sydney, when they finally release you, we need to get together." He said urgently. "We need…to talk…about so many things." The look in his eyes said everything she had hoped for was still true.

"I think that would be an excellent idea." She raised her voice over the noise, her relief evident.

Vaughn smiled at her with a tender look in his eyes. In one swift move, he bent his head to kiss her, his arms sliding around her body to hold her close to him. Sydney responded ardently, her fingers rifling the hair at the back of his neck as she sought to make up for so many years of pent-up desire.

The door crashed open just then and they broke apart. Sydney could only grin goofily as Vaughn was ordered to leave and she was told to gather her things so that she could be moved to another room while her door was being fixed.

If only she had known that would be last time she would ever get to see him. If she had known, she would have never let him go.

_To be continued_…


	2. Reflections On A Year Gone By

**Author's Note**: Thanks for all of your reviews on the first chapter.  I'm letting you know in advance that what follows is very long, but there's a nice twist involved, so hopefully you'll think it was worth the time.

P.S. to Ash (if you're still reading): If you've read any of my other fics, you know it won't be sad and depressing, but it won't be smooth sailing, either. (grin)

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Sydney had the vague sensation that her skin was becoming flushed and hot to the touch. She came out of her reverie wondering if she was coming down with something, only to realize that her hair was dry and the blow dryer was bellowing hot air directly onto her face, accounting for the warmth she'd mistaken as impending illness. Sydney turned off the dryer and shook her head as if to clear it. She had been doing so well in not letting the past invade her present. It would be a setback if she allowed herself to wallow in self-pity and to reflect on what might have been.

After flipping off the bathroom light, Sydney went into her bedroom and walked over to the chest of drawers to find something to wear. She needed to run some errands later, but the stores wouldn't be open for hours, so maybe she could do some work on the guest bedroom for the time being.

Sydney was undecided on what she wanted to do with her spare bedroom, but she did know that the countrified geese-in-bonnets had to go. Whoever had owned her house before her had been inordinately fond of a Country Kitsch decorating theme and Sydney had spent a lot of time and effort getting rid of it. Not that she didn't like bushels of apples or sheaves of wheat or black-and-white spotted cows, but when it was all lumped together in the same house, it was a little too much to take.

Her latest do-it-yourself project entailed scraping the wallpaper from the walls in the guest bedroom. It was a thankless and time-consuming chore, involving steamers and scrapers and bits of wet wallpaper. As Sydney got into the rhythmic _scritch_-_scritch_-_scritch_ of the scraping, her thoughts began to drift again.

Three days after Vaughn came to see her, Sydney's ordeal finally came to an end. On that morning, they told her it was over and that she was free to leave. Sydney immediately turned over her ID badge and marched straight out the double bulletproof-glass doors without a backwards glance. Her father met her outside CIA Headquarters with her car gassed up and loaded to the bursting point.

"Dad, what are you doing here?" Sydney gave her father a confused look.

"I'm making sure that you take some time to recover from all the stress you've been under for the past few weeks." Jack said in his most stern voice. "Here." In his hand were her car keys and what looked like a house key.

"What's this?"

"It's the key to a house I rented for you." Her father replied. "The house is located in Santa Barbara and I've been told that it's right on the beach. The address and a map are on the passenger seat of your car."

"You rented me a house?" Sydney said slowly. "Dad, that's very sweet of you, but I can't just drop everything and leave town." She protested.

"Why not?" He asked her. "I am assuming that you turned in your resignation to the Agency when they released you from custody. You are no longer under any obligations to anyone."

"That's not true." She shook her head. "Just because I no longer have a job doesn't mean I still don't have people to answer to. I mean, I haven't had a chance to talk to any of my friends yet to explain what's going on and you and I haven't really discussed what this all means and besides that--" She had been running off at the mouth when she suddenly faltered, hesitant to bring up a certain person's name. She wasn't sure how her father would react.

"And what, Sydney?" Her father prompted her.

"Vaughn." She replied softly. "We were supposed to get together after I got out." Sydney wondered if Vaughn had known she was going to be released today. But then wouldn't he have been there to meet her? 

A muscle in her father's jaw twitched. "He's not here. He's been sent to Washington." Jack informed her.

"What?" She gave him a blank stare. Why hadn't Vaughn told her that he was going to be out of town_?_

"It was a last-minute thing. He just flew out last night."

"Oh." She looked dejected.

Jack studied his daughter for a long moment. "Sydney, he will be here when you get back." He said quietly. "We all will. Right now, I'm more concerned about you."

Sydney was touched in spite of herself. It had taken five long years and a multitude of false starts, but they were finally at the point in their father-daughter relationship where Sydney could trust that her father always had her best interests at heart. He might not always go about it in the most ethical fashion, but she knew he loved her. Making sure his daughter was happy and fulfilled and cared for had increasingly become one of the most important goals in Jack Bristow's life. He owed Sydney that much after everything he and her mother had put her through.

Soft-hearted as she was, there was no way Sydney could refuse her father's generosity. It had been a thoughtful gesture on his part and it was only decent that she show her appreciation.

"Well, maybe I could use some time to decompress." She admitted. "The past few weeks have taken a lot out of me."

"That's exactly what I thought." Her father agreed wholeheartedly. "The sea air will do you some good. Help you clear away the cobwebs."

"Maybe so." Sydney gave him a smile. "Thanks for thinking of me, Dad."

"It's what I do." Jack returned her smile with a brief one of his own. "Sydney, if you like, I'll make sure that Vaughn knows where you are." He added magnanimously.

"Oh, no, you don't have to do that." Sydney said hastily. The two most important men in her life had come to a sort of mutual understanding over the past few years in regard to their placement in her life and while Sydney was fairly sure that they now respected each other, she also had the feeling that they were still a bit wary where the other was concerned. Vaughn was fully cognizant of all the times her father had cut a few corners in his sometimes misguided efforts to protect her and Jack had never been completely convinced that Vaughn was the most effective handler the CIA could have given her. 

But that was all ancient history now that SD-6 had been eliminated and Sydney hoped that any future strife between them could be averted now that she was no longer the centerpiece in their power struggle to be her chief protector. If things went the way she hoped, Vaughn and her father would have to deal with each other for a long time to come and it was better for everyone if they did it with smiles on their faces.

However, that being said, she and Vaughn still had to figure out where _they_ were headed, so there was no sense in letting Jack act as a go-between for them at this time. That could come later when Sydney had a better idea if she and Vaughn even had a future together.

"I'll call him when I get to Santa Barbara." She said to her father as she hugged him goodbye.

Some three hours later, Sydney turned into the driveway of her rented beach house and found herself enamored by it before she even got out of the car. She could tell by the slightly battered paint job that it wasn't a newly built dwelling, but one that had been there for years and years, managing to withstand the elements as well as the test of time with a hardy determination. The cornflower blue paint was peeling and faded a bit, but she didn't mind if the house looked lived-in; that only added to its charm. The cottage was a little bigger than she thought it would be (who needed a two-story house when she was only one person?), but Sydney conceded that it would be nice to have the extra space in which to ramble around. She absolutely loved the wraparound porch that extended along the front of the house and the fact that the sandy beach was right at her doorstep.

When Sydney let herself into the house, she was surprised to find that it was fully furnished with some fairly nice pieces. She went exploring room by room, through the bright and sunny kitchen with its cozy little breakfast nook into the living room, which was light and airy and had a lovely view of the beach thanks to a large bay window. There was a small bathroom in the back as well as a nice-sized library/den, which came complete with a whole wall of bookshelves, a rather comfy-looking sofa and a real wood-log fireplace.

There were only two bedrooms upstairs, but both of them were of an unusually large size, which more than made up for the fact that the connecting bathroom was meant to be shared between the two rooms. Both bedrooms had a breathtaking view of the ocean, although the one with the bigger bed might have been a tad nicer. Sydney immediately chose that room as the one she would use for her own. That decision turned out to be one of the few she remembered making over the next couple of months.

Sydney didn't like to think about that period of her life--from when she first arrived in Santa Barbara until three months later when she decided to stay on permanently--because that was the point at which her future took a seemingly irreversible turn. What little memory she had of that time was clouded by an indefinite haze where days seemed to pass quickly into next week without her even realizing it. Sydney would go sit out on the porch at eight o'clock in the morning and she would find herself still sitting there at six o'clock at night. She would wonder where the time had gone, becoming distressed when she couldn't account for even a single moment of her day. She told herself before she drifted off to sleep each night that she would stop zoning out so much, but when she woke up the next morning, the vicious cycle would just start all over again.

By the time Sydney awoke from her stupor, June had metamorphosed into September in the blink of an eye. She had been away from L.A. for almost three months and in all that time, she had not been in contact with anyone from her old life. Not Will, not Francie, and most importantly of all, not Vaughn. When Sydney realized what she had done, she was mortified. She had cut herself off from everyone who loved her without any explanation and she honestly didn't know what she could do or say to make up for her inexcusable behavior.

There was a reason, of course; a very good one, in fact, but Sydney was hesitant to play the pity card. It had been ingrained in her from an early age that she always had to be the strong one; to display vulnerability--even to one's friends--was considered a weakness.   

But maybe they would understand. Will and Francie were her friends, she kept reminding herself. They were friends who had supported and nurtured her through some of the darkest times of her life. They wouldn't judge her for her failings. They knew she wasn't perfect, so perhaps it wasn't too far out of the realm of possibility that they could find it in their hearts to forgive her. 

Vaughn, however, was another matter entirely. He had placed her on such a high pedestal and she had always done her best to live up to what he expected from her. His belief in her had always given her the confidence to do anything she set out to do.

But now Sydney believed she had fallen from grace. To disappear from his life with nary a word was unspeakably cruel and his crushing disappointment in her would wound him quick and deep. It pained her to the center of her being that she had hurt the one person in the world whom she cared about the most and it preyed upon her mind that he might never forgive her for doing so.

When Sydney finally did work up the courage to get in touch with Vaughn, it was with a heart full of trepidation. It wasn't a simple little thing to just pick up the phone and dial his number when she wasn't sure how he would react to hearing from her. Would he hang up at the first sound of her voice? Would he listen silently while she babbled an incoherent and inadequate apology for her behavior? Or worst of all, would he simply not even care that she was on the phone?

To say Sydney was reluctant about putting herself in the line of Vaughn's fire would be a gross understatement, but recent circumstances had forced her to take action. As she was psyching herself up to make the call, she kept telling herself that it was the right thing to do. After all, it wasn't fair to either of them that she was keeping them in this state of limbo with everything still up in the air between them. She owed it to him to resolve the situation once and for all. Then they could get on with their lives, whether it be together, or most likely, apart.

But it was not only for her sanity that Sydney was choosing to bite the bullet. The other reason for her call stemmed from an offer she had received to stay in Santa Barbara on a permanent basis.

Sydney had recently become friendly with Claire Donahue, a fortysomething mother of three whom she had met in yoga class. They had ended up on adjoining mats one Saturday morning and after class, they struck up a conversation while waiting in line at the coffee bar. It turned out to be a fortuitous meeting for Sydney because in addition to being a wife and mother, Claire Donahue was also the principal of the nearby high school. When Sydney mentioned to her new acquaintance that she had her Masters in English Literature, Claire replied that her school happened to have an opening in their English department and would Sydney consider applying for the position? Sydney had been surprised at the out-of-the-blue job offer, but the more she thought about it, the more it seemed like a perfect fit.

Sydney went through the interview process and sailed through with flying colors. She was not surprised when she was formally offered the job a few days later, but she found herself unable to say yes on the spot. That was because there was still one thing holding her back.

That one thing was the reason why she found herself staring at her phone one morning, early enough that the sun had not yet broken over the horizon. She had been agonizing for days about making that first phone call to Vaughn because she was so afraid of what his reaction would be. In her little fantasy world, she would get no further than "I'm sorry" before he would tell her how much he missed her and beg her to come back to him. If that were to happen, she would jump in her car without even bothering to hang up the phone, giving no mind to the fact that she was clad only in a nightgown and robe.

But of course, fantasy was always more preferable to reality. Sydney knew it wouldn't be an easy task to convince Vaughn to forgive her and really, there was no reason for him to make it so. She would be lucky if he didn't say good riddance to bad rubbish before slamming the phone down in her ear.

_When did Sydney Bristow become such a coward_? A little voice inside her head chastised her. A woman who was strong enough to succeed in taking down such an omnipotent force as SD-6 should not be afraid to make a simple little phone call!

With a firm resolve, Sydney picked up the phone and punched in the number she knew by heart even though this was the first time she had actually ever called him at home. She had deliberately chosen such an early hour in which to make her call because she knew he was an early riser and would be getting ready for work right about now. God forbid she should get his answering machine and have to leave some stuttering, stammering message full of _um'_s and _uh'_s.

"Hello?" The voice was groggy as if its owner had been awakened from a sound sleep.

Sydney's heart took a nosedive into her stomach and she nearly dropped the phone. She checked the LCD display on her phone just to make sure she had dialed the correct number.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" The voice asked, sounding faintly annoyed.

_Why was a woman answering Vaughn's phone_? Sydney suddenly lost all power of speech as the picture of Vaughn and some unknown woman _in his bed_ flooded into her mind. _How could he_? She wailed silently. _How could he do this to me_?

Sydney was just about to hang up when she heard Vaughn's voice in the background. Tears sprang to her eyes and she heard her breath intake sharply.

_"Oh, sorry, hon, I was just getting out of the shower when I heard the phone ring_. _Who is it?"_

She couldn't stand it anymore. Rather than just hang up the phone, she ripped the cord from the wall, breaking the little plastic insert that fitted into the jack. _Well, at least that will put an end to making any more foolish phone calls_, she gave a mirthless laugh.__

_God, how could I have been so stupid_! Of course Vaughn wasn't going to wait for her forever. After five long years of suppressing their feelings for each other--not to mention the fact that she had let three whole months go by without even a word--how could she have expected him to? He was only human. The man had the patience of a saint, but even he had his limits and apparently, she had pushed him over the brink.

As she sat there feeling utterly lost and forlorn, Sydney tortured herself with thoughts of _if only_. If only she had called him last week…if only he hadn't met that tramp…if only their feelings had been all she had hoped they were.

Was it possible that she had spent the last three years of her life holding onto a pipe dream? Ever since Sydney had admitted to herself that she was in love with Vaughn, she had always thought that they were meant to be. The way he had always treated her, with concern and compassion and tenderness mixed in with an air of solid strength, seemed to confirm their commitment to each other even though they could never express it in words. She had thought she could trust him, not only with her life, but also with heart, believing that he would always take care of her.

But now it seemed as if it had all been an illusion, a fantasy she had conjured up in order to get her through all those many months when things looked their bleakest and it seemed as if SD-6 would never go away. In the beginning, it had all been about revenge--to make Sloane and SD-6 pay for what they had done to Danny.

And then her priorities shifted once she fell in love with Vaughn. Yes, she still wanted to avenge Danny's murder, but as time went on, payback became her secondary objective. What had driven her for the last three years was the simple desire to love and be loved in return--without fear, without boundaries, without limits. SD-6 had already taken so much from her and she was going to be damned if she would let them take away her one chance at happiness with the man she loved. They had already done it once before. She wouldn't let them do it to her again.

That was why Sydney had fought so hard. That was why she didn't mind the bruises that marked her body all the way down from her shoulder blades to her ankles. That was why she ignored the ache in her bones as she climbed into bed every night. When Sloane would gaze at her with that slightly smarmy look on his face, she would smile back sweetly, never once giving away how much she wanted him to suffer, painfully and infinitely.

When Sydney finally triumphed over Sloane, it had seemed like the sweetest victory. The evil despot was now in prison for his crimes and his precious SD-6 had been destroyed, weakening an already faltering Alliance. She had done everything she had set out to do, positive that her good deeds would enable her to receive her greatest wish. 

If only Vaughn had stuck to the plan. While she couldn't blame him for washing his hands of her, a small part of her did feel betrayed. Even though they had never said it out loud, she had been sure in her heart of hearts that he loved her just as much as she loved him. But if that love had actually existed, then how could he have gotten over her so quickly? It had taken her months to get over Danny. If Vaughn had truly cared for her, there was no way he could have fallen into bed with another woman so soon.

Sydney tried to fight that insidious picture from infecting her brain. The thought of Vaughn with another woman sickened her because it made her feel jealous and angry and betrayed. No woman could remain unaffected if the man she loved was cheating on her with someone else.

But it also terrified her that he was with another woman because she was in love with Vaughn and she didn't want to face the fact that he might not feel the same way about her. She'd always had a tiny doubt in the back of her mind that what existed between them wasn't a real and lasting connection between two people, but simply a by-product of their very unusual circumstances. It would be very easy to get swept up into the sexy thrill and the seductive danger of a secret agent existence. They were only human, after all, and the temptation of forbidden fruit is a powerful aphrodisiac. For a long time, she had been able to hold back, remain aloof, but Vaughn had somehow found a way to break through her protective shell and now he was solidly and firmly planted deep within her heart. 

This was not the way she thought it would end. At the very least, she expected words packed with bitterness and glares full of reproach. She would have actually preferred listening to him rant and rave at her rather than hear that casually tossed-out comment about him being in the shower while his new girlfriend lounged around in his bed. 

But through whichever medium his brush-off occurred, she had received his message loud and clear. She wasn't going to allow herself to pine over a man who could dismiss her so easily from his life after five turbulent and tumultuous years. Sydney knew she wasn't blameless for the situation and that her own thoughtless mistreatment of him had no doubt spurred Vaughn into taking some action of his own, but the fact remained that she didn't see how he could have such a cavalier attitude where she was concerned. If he could be with another woman so soon--if he could call her _hon_--then maybe he wasn't the man she had thought him to be. Maybe she had never really known him at all.

When the clock struck eight that morning, Sydney was already on her cell phone and punching in the numbers to Claire's office at the high school. After informing her new boss that she would accept the teaching position, Sydney called the real estate agent handling the rental on her beach house and made an offer to buy. At least something good would come out of those two salaries she had been pulling down these last five years as a double agent for SD-6 and the CIA.

For the next nine-and-a-half months, Sydney threw herself into her job and found that it fit her to a T. She had been assigned two senior classes, two junior classes and one sophomore class, all in English Lit. It took some creative thinking on her part to come up with three different lesson plans for three sets of teenagers who were all at different crossroads in their lives, but never let it be said that Sydney Bristow wasn't up for a challenge.

Sydney was thrilled that the kids seemed to respond well to her, deducing that it was partly due to the fact that she was one of the younger members of the faculty and therefore seen as someone to whom they could more easily relate. But what really tickled her was that the great deal of effort she put forth into making her classes informative and enlightening yet at the same time engaging and fun really seemed to make a positive impact on her students. She loved doing the play readings and had great fun refereeing the lively discussions and was touched when the kids engaged her in their friendly banter. Whatever terrible things her mother had done to her in the past, Irina had at least imparted one precious gift to her daughter and Sydney found herself to be reluctantly grateful.

As far as the faculty was concerned, everyone for the most part seemed to accept her into the educational fold. At her very first departmental meeting, she was greeted warmly by all the members of the English department before being relegated to the role of observer for the rest of the proceedings. 

At first it was hard for Sydney to sit in on the biweekly department meetings, during which she was supposed to be seen but not heard. It wasn't so much that the other teachers were trying to exclude her as much as it was an attempt to let her get the feel for their gatherings before jumping into the fray. Sydney would sit quietly as she listened to the complaints about the budget or the slightly tense bickering over what fall play would be produced by the drama department or the silly stories about some of the more "creative" excuses the students would come up with when asked why their homework wasn't completed on time. These get-togethers were such a drastic change from the SD-6 briefings, where the subject matter was always so seriously put forth to them and her input was something that was necessary and welcomed. But Sydney knew it was nothing personal. Office politics would be the same in whatever the surroundings and she realized she had to pay her dues before she would be allowed to contribute.

Most of the time she was too busy staring at the department head, anyway. Dr. Phillip Bosworth had been a fixture at the school for twenty years, the last seven as Head of the English department. He was a nice enough man, if slightly pompous-sounding, but what freaked Sydney out was how much he reminded her of Arvin Sloane. Not so much facially, but they were both short in stature and shared the same prickly salt-and-pepper beard. Half the time she expected Marshall to pop in with exploding erasers or a laser pointer that doubled as a stun gun.

Then again, maybe she was just projecting. These people with whom she now worked were so far removed from her old life, it was almost laughable. They were just nice, ordinary people who wouldn't know what the hell to think if they ever found about her previous existence as a spy for the CIA.

It went without saying that Sydney didn't tell any of her new co-workers what she used to do for a living. She would mention the bank, which sounded boring, so hardly anyone ever asked her to elaborate. It troubled her a bit that the lies she had thought were a part of her past were still very much alive in her present and probably in her future as well. She would never know these people well enough to tell them the truth about herself. When that realization hit her, Sydney suddenly found herself wanting very much to have her old friends back in her life again.

That longing spurred her into contacting Will and then Francie soon after settling into her new job. Will had been overjoyed to hear from her, Francie less so. Sydney had been a little dismayed at the coolness of Francie's tone, but she understood that it would take time to rebuild her relationships with her friends. She had completely ignored them for almost five months and that wasn't something that could be so easily forgotten.

By the time the school year came to a close, Sydney felt relatively satisfied with her life. She loved her job, she had made new friends, she had finally put down some roots by buying a house and becoming part of a community. Her relationship with her father was better than it had ever been (they spoke to each other at least three times a week and Sydney was amazed when she actually started to look forward to his calls).

And of course it could never be said enough how happy she was that she no longer had to look over her shoulder in constant fear that someone was out to get her. For the first time in her life, Sydney Bristow had finally found some peace. 

But peace and harmony weren't all they were cracked up to be. Sydney didn't miss the turmoil that used to accompany her old life, but she would be lying if she said she was blissfully content. Sometimes she would feel an ache in the pit of her stomach, the ache that told her something was still missing in her life. She wanted to forget about him, but her heart wouldn't let her.

Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if she had someone to talk to about how she was feeling. She had tried to maintain her old friendships, but somehow a lot of the people from her old life had become rather distant. Whether it was by her fault or theirs, she wasn't sure, but maybe it was apathy on both parts. She still kept in touch with Dixon (who was now working for the CIA after Sydney and Jack both vouched for his innocence in regard to having any knowledge as to the true nature of SD-6), but that was mostly by email since his transfer to Miami. Marshall had also moved on to CIA op tech, but he was always so busy in the lab, inventing new spy toys.

Sydney was thankful that Will was still a huge chunk of her life, one of her only links to the past six years. He was now working with the CIA, having been recruited about a year after learning the truth about Sydney. At the time, Will had been drifting, not knowing what to do with himself and with no serious prospects, thanks to his well-publicized phony drug bust. Sydney had felt sorry for him, since she was partly to blame for his current status as Francie's part-time waiter/restaurant troubleshooter. So she had appealed to her father, who in turn went to the CIA on Will's behalf.

It was decided that as a former newspaper reporter, Will could be of some use to the CIA. Not as a field agent (he wasn't into the whole rock 'em, sock 'em mentality), but perhaps in some other capacity. Will went through the extensive interview process as well as a battery of mental and physical tests and when all was said and done, he was assigned to the L.A. branch and given a job title that gave no clue as to what he really did. What it essentially amounted to was that he was once again using his crack ace-reporter research skills as a fact-finder and intelligence-gatherer. 

And for the most part, Will was happy with his newfound career. Or at least he never complained to her about it. Sydney was very glad that the two of them were still able to maintain their friendship, even though they were no longer living in the same city or working for the same employer. He kept her up-to-date on the goings-on at the CIA (even though he probably wasn't supposed to) with the one notable exception that he never talked about Vaughn. He had some dirt to dish, of course, because one couldn't help but hear things about one's co-workers, but since Sydney never asked, he never volunteered.

From the beginning, the relationship between Will and Vaughn had been cordial if a bit strained. Will had been dismayed to learn that Sydney's CIA handler was a young, good-looking man and Vaughn had always been envious of Will's easygoing friendship with Sydney. It became more of a struggle for the two men to keep their jealousies in check once Will joined the CIA and the mood was still palpably tense whenever the trio found themselves working together on a case.

Sydney was aware that a lot (if not all) of the tension between them had to do with her. At the time Will came on board with the CIA, he still had illusions that they might have had a future together. Sydney had not totally committed herself to the idea of her and Vaughn just yet, but at the same time, she always knew that there was never any chance that her feelings for Will would develop into something deeper. She couldn't bring herself to flat-out say it to his face, but after awhile, he seemed to have gotten the message. Will was a former reporter, trained to be observant to body language and to pick up on the subtle nuances that existed where there were seemingly none to be found. It didn't take much for him to be made painfully aware of Sydney's growing attraction to Vaughn; it was obvious whenever they were in the same room together. 

Once Will realized that Sydney would never feel the same way about him that he felt about her, he was finally able to let it go. There was no sense in wasting the rest of his life pining for a woman who was in love with another man. After he had come to terms with the situation, Will was able to accept Vaughn for what he meant to Sydney. Sometimes he even encouraged her to talk to him about Vaughn, especially in those times when she was feeling particularly frustrated about their current state of affairs. Sydney had always felt sort of awkward discussing Vaughn with Will and while she hadn't done it often (and not at all since finding out about Vaughn's betrayal), she had been grateful that he was willing to be a sounding board for her. It was definitely a true measure of their friendship that he would do that for her, particularly considering how he used to feel about her.

If only things could be as congenial with Francie as they were with Will. The one person Sydney thought she would always be able to talk to had been Francie, but finding out that Sydney had been lying to her all these years had caused a huge rift between them. Upon discovering the truth about Sydney's secret life, her best friend had been extremely hurt and angry to realize that she had been the only person in Sydney's life who had been out of the loop. During the few times they had spoken since Sydney's move to Santa Barbara, there had always been an open hostility radiating from Francie that could be heard loud and clear across the phone lines. Sydney had tried to explain why she'd had to lie to Francie for so many years, but her friend hadn't wanted to listen. All she could do was spout off about trust and honesty and the meaning of friendship and how Sydney apparently didn't have a clue about any of those things. 

Their last actual spoken conversation had been back in November when Sydney called to tell Francie that she had arranged to have someone come to the apartment to pack up her things. Sydney had kept up her share of the rent in their apartment even after she bought her house in Santa Barbara as a gesture of goodwill and in an effort to keep herself in Francie's thoughts. She thought that if Francie had to keep looking at her books and her CD's and her photographs that eventually her attitude would begin to soften up towards Sydney. She firmly believed in that old saying, "Out of sight, out of mind." and she didn't want that to happen for her and Francie.

But after awhile, Sydney began to realize how impractical the arrangement was. She wanted her things here with her, so that her new house could feel like home. It wasn't as if Francie needed her rent money, anyway; the restaurant was a major success and she had actually been talking about expanding in the coming year.

Unfortunately, Sydney's plan failed to achieve its desired result. Francie wasn't ready to forgive and forget just yet. Her tone had been cool but not without a hint of relief that Sydney had finally decided to pack up her things and move on. When Sydney realized that Francie was glad to be rid of her, it killed any thought of trying to apologize one more time. She was too afraid that Francie would be indifferent to it and that would hurt more than yelling would.

So in the end, that was where they left things. Sydney sent a Christmas card along with a rather impersonal gift in December and Francie did the same. Sydney forwarded a note of congratulations (at Will's behest) when Francie's restaurant received favorable notices in a newspaper review and Francie responded in kind when Will told her that Sydney had been voted Favorite Teacher by the senior class for the yearbook.

But they no longer talked as best girlfriends do and Sydney missed that terribly. She had become friendly with some of the other female teachers at the high school, but those were still surface friendships. Sydney was naturally reticent about sharing anything about her past life with people she hadn't known for very long, so it was hard to make a real connection with anyone. Maybe she was shortchanging herself and them, but secrecy was something she was good at and it was a hard habit to break. 

If Sydney's relationship with Francie was at its lowest point, then it was a complete opposite of how things were with her father. Surprisingly enough, their relationship had blossomed in the year since SD-6 had been eliminated. Maybe it had to do with the fact that there was definitely less stress in their lives now that they were no longer double agents together, but Jack was noticeably more relaxed. Sometimes he even smiled. 

Of course, it was in the nature of Jack Bristow that he would always be a little cautious and on-guard where Sydney was concerned. For years, his only goals in life had been to keep her safe and to act as a buffer from those who wished to harm her. He had fulfilled those duties to the best of his abilities and it had all paid off when the dissolution of SD-6 was finally realized.

Now that his daughter was no longer subjected to the precarious lifestyle that both SD-6 and the CIA had foisted upon her, Jack was able to ease up on his protectiveness somewhat. He still worried about her, of course; that came with the territory of fatherhood. These days, however, he was more troubled about Sydney's internal strife rather than what could harm her externally.

Sydney let out a sigh as the wallpaper scraper fell to the ground. Her hand was cramping and she decided that she would take a break to run her errands. Her father continued to occupy her thoughts, however, as she changed her clothes and then left to drive into town.

It still felt odd to her that Jack was much more of a meddling father these days than during the time when she was living the dangerous life of a spy. If anything, Sydney had thought that he would ease up on the whole overprotective thing now that her life was no longer in mortal danger for every second of the day, but that hadn't happened. Instead of being concerned with her physical well-being, her father was now turning his attentions to her mental stability. Every time they talked, the conversation invariably turned to her emotional state and how she was coping with her return to a "normal" life. It got to the point where she wondered if Jack was doing a secret apprenticeship with the CIA shrink Barnett and using her as a case study.

Her father's single-mindedness was never more so apparent than during the last time they had dinner together, when Sydney had the distinct impression that she was being forced to lie down on the psychoanalyst's couch rather than stay seated on her cozy white wicker loveseat at home.  

They had been sitting outside on her porch, sharing the last bit of wine from dinner. Sydney had roasted a chicken served with an herbed gravy for which her father had praised her dutifully. During dinner, he had told her stories about his latest crises and she had regaled him with amusing anecdotes about her students. Jack had been in such a good mood during the meal that Sydney thought he might ease up on her just this once, but no such luck. 

"So, Sydney, tell me how _you've been doing since we last saw each other." Jack said to her in an abnormally (for him) concerned manner._

"Haven't I been doing that for the last three hours?" She hedged.

"I wouldn't say that exactly." Her father shook his head. "We've mostly been talking about things that have happened or people you've encountered. I want to hear about you."

"There's not really much to say, Dad." Sydney said with a shrug. "I get up, I run, I go to work. On weekends, I'm busy fixing up the house."

Jack nodded thoughtfully. "What about your friends? Are you going out much?"

"On occasion." She replied. "We're planning a big department luncheon in a few weeks to celebrate the end of the school year." She said with a bright fake smile on her face. Faculty get-togethers were just about as stuffy and dull as you would expect them to be.

"Sounds stimulating." Her father said with a straight face. "And what's going on with that Spanish teacher you've been dating?"

"We're not dating." Sydney corrected him. "Mark and I have gone out a few times, but he's going to Spain this summer, so we decided it would be better if we just remained friends."

"You don't seem too broken up about it." Jack observed.

"I'm not, Dad." She said patiently. "There was never a chance that it would turn into something serious."

_Hmmm, and I wonder why that is? "Are you happy, Sydney?" Jack suddenly asked, rather bluntly._

Sydney shot him a surprised look. "Why would you ask me such a thing?"

"Because I don't know the answer to that question, Sydney." He replied candidly. "I mean, by all appearances, you seem to have made great strides since leaving the CIA. Your new career is immensely satisfying to you. You've done a wonderful job fixing up your new house into a very comfortable living space. You've made new friends and you've even started going out again." Jack gave his daughter a pointed look. "So why do I get the feeling that you think there's still something missing in your life?"

"Dad, have you been spending too much time with Dr. Barnett?" Sydney asked matter-of-factly. "Why are you always pushing me to tell you what's wrong with my life? Maybe there's nothing wrong. Have you ever considered that?"

Sydney was shocked when her father's face slightly reddened as if he were embarrassed. Had she hit on something without meaning to? _Her father and the CIA shrink?? She was about to delve deeper when Jack spoke up._

"I'm sorry if you think I'm badgering you, Sydney." Her father said in a brisk manner, hoping his daughter would drop the subject of him and Barnett. "It's just that whenever I look at you, there's seems to be a sadness in your eyes that won't go away." He gave her a rather penetrating glance.

Sydney dropped her head to avoid her father's gaze. "Dad, I appreciate that you want to help me deal with whatever you think I'm going through, but I have to tell you that all this touchy-feely over-involvement is really not working for us." She said, feeling awkward. "It's just not something we do."

Jack looked contrite. "Sydney, I know I wasn't there for you when you were growing up and I will always regret that. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I'm over-compensating now." He gave a shrug. "I just want you to feel you can turn to me if you have something in your life that needs fixing. Why do you think I took myself off of active field duty? Because I wanted you to be able to count on my presence in your life."

Jack had remained with the CIA after the SD-6 takedown, but he was no longer on active "Field Duty" status. When he and Sydney were still working together, it had been prudent for him to take on a more visible role, either in the planning of missions or as an actual participant in some cases. Sometimes it had been necessary for him to watch over her, although he was careful to never reveal to her that his presence was partly due to the fact that he was just being an overbearing, controlling dad. 

But after the takedown, Jack saw no reason to take any more unnecessary risks with his life. He was still physically fit, but he wasn't getting any younger, either. Now that Sydney had retired to civilian life, he wanted to spend more time with her. They had learned a lot about each other in the five years they had worked together and even though he was ashamed to admit that he'd hardly had a hand in how she'd turned out, he was proud of the woman she'd become. His daughter was someone he liked and respected as well as being the only person on earth whom he loved.

Jack now worked as a consultant, the person who was called in whenever a pressing and urgent matter arose. He was actually traveling more now than he did when he was still a field agent, but at least the odds were better that he wouldn't be coming home in a body bag when the trip was over. 

His home base was still L.A. and he and Sydney always got together whenever he was in town. Since she never wanted to come down to L.A. ("Too many bad memories," she would always say), he was the one who would drive up the coast to Santa Barbara to see her.

Jack never pressed Sydney, but he knew her reluctance to visit her old stomping grounds had something to do with Vaughn. She had never given him the full story as to why she had cut off all contact with her former handler or why she could not even bear to hear his name, so Jack remained puzzled as he tried to figure out why his daughter wasn't with the man she loved.

Jack Bristow had known for years that his daughter's feelings for her handler went way beyond a friendly camaraderie between business colleagues. Rumors of the two of them being "emotionally attached" had swirled around the Agency since their first year of working together. In the beginning, Jack had not given much credence to the gossip; he had been confident that Sydney was professional enough to keep her personal feelings from entering into what was purely a business arrangement.

He hadn't been so sure about Vaughn. Jack could remember all the instances when Vaughn had wanted to leap before he looked in an effort to keep Sydney from getting hurt. It was an admirable trait to want to safeguard someone who had placed their life in your hands, but Jack knew Vaughn's feelings went much deeper than just a handler looking out for his agent. When he thought back to Donati Park where Sloane had tried to trick the CIA into revealing Sydney as a double agent or to Greece when Ineni Hassan had Sydney trapped in that gasoline-filled bunker or to Taipei when Vaughn had risked his career and very nearly, his life, in order to rescue Will Tippin, it was obvious that Vaughn's commitment to Sydney was nothing that should be mocked. This wasn't a silly high school crush; the man was carrying around serious feelings for his daughter and for a time, Jack didn't know if that would do more harm than good.

Eventually, he had to concede that Vaughn was exactly what Sydney needed, at least in a professional sense. Feeling the way he did for her, Vaughn went over her counter-missions with a fine-toothed comb, making sure that each step was calibrated exactly right so that she wouldn't be put unnecessarily into the path of danger. Vaughn was concerned and thoughtful and reassuring and most of all, Sydney trusted him implicitly. A bond like that was hard to come by, especially in a life where lying and backstabbing was second nature.

Jack wasn't quite sure when the tide had turned for Sydney and Vaughn. Never having before experienced the joys and sorrows of seeing his daughter in love, he had been shocked when he walked into the warehouse one evening to find Sydney sitting in rapt attention as her handler described her latest counter-mission. Jack stayed hidden in the shadows for a few moments as he observed the subtle changes in Sydney's demeanor.

It wasn't that she was sitting too closely to Vaughn or smiling a little too brightly or giggling like a lovesick schoolgirl whenever he made a joke. Sydney was a mature woman, who didn't resort to such tactics.

But there was something different about her. Jack caught the soulful look in Sydney's eyes and the uncertain way she kept biting her lip as her gaze followed Vaughn, who happened to be in a rather restless mood judging by all the pacing he was doing. He glimpsed the high color that arose in her cheeks whenever Vaughn stopped to smile at her. Jack felt an unexpected pang as he realized that Sydney was desperately trying to rein in her intense feelings for the man. The rumors had suddenly turned into reality and she was obviously having a difficult time dealing with it. Part of him was upset that she had let her guard down with Vaughn, but then he immediately chastised himself for being too hard on her. _Not everybody is as good as you are when it comes to maintaining the cool, aloof façade, Jack chided himself with a wry grimace. Even though she was his daughter, he couldn't expect her to shut herself off so completely as he had done for so many years. _

As the years went by, Jack found himself feeling more and more sympathetic to Sydney's plight. It was true she had entered into her pact with heartache and disappointment willingly and with her eyes open, but it still didn't keep him from feeling sorry for her. He knew what it was like to be in love with someone you couldn't (and in his case, shouldn't) have. His newfound compassion for his daughter was perhaps the reason why he strove so hard to be a father she could always lean on. So that she would know that no matter what other problems she might be facing, she would always have someone in her corner.

"Dad, you _have _been there for me." Sydney gave him an urgent look. "Do you think I've forgotten what you did for me last summer? I will always be grateful to you for bringing me back amongst the living."

Jack's mouth quirked. "As if I could ever leave you to fend for yourself."

"I know you never would." She gave him a smile. As she caught the sympathetic look on her father's face, Sydney suddenly realized that she no longer wanted to pretend with him that her life was going along rather swimmingly. "And okay, if want to know the truth, I do have some issues."

"But what's going on with me can't be so easily fixed by pushing it all off on you. Any problems I have I've created for myself and they won't go away just because my Big Bad Dad glares at them threateningly." She said teasingly.

Jack shot her an amused smirk. "Talk to me, Sydney." His voice was kind. "What are these problems you keep mentioning? If I can't glare them away, maybe I could offer a suggestion as to how to go about fixing them."

Sydney hesitated for a brief moment. "Lately, I've been thinking a lot about the way things used to be." She finally admitted. "I mean, before when SD-6 was still around and I was still a spy."

Her father raised an eyebrow. "Are you telling me you miss your double life?"

"No, I would never wish that I was still involved in all that, but I have to admit that that time of my life…well, let's just say that certain aspects of it weren't all that bad." She said evasively.

_Ah, this is where I find out about Vaughn. "And to which aspects would you be referring?" He inquired._

"I miss…I miss seeing the people I used to see." Sydney said wistfully. "We still keep in touch, of course, but it's not the same. Dixon emails me all the time with pictures of him and Diane and the kids and Marshall sends me funny little mock-ups of all his latest gadgets, but it's still hard to get used to the fact that they're no longer an integral part of my life."

Jack nodded understandingly. "It's natural that you would miss them. Dysfunctional as it was, the people at SD-6 were your family for many years."

"And it's not just them." Once she got wound up, Sydney found it hard to stop. "Things are still so screwed up with Francie. We send Christmas cards and birthday cards and an occasional email, but that's mostly due to Will nagging at us. We haven't actually spoken to each other since last November." Sydney let out a frustrated sigh. "Francie and I have been best friends since college, Dad. I know she was hurt, but I still don't see how she could throw away our friendship like that."

"I assume you've tried to talk to her?

"Of course." She nodded vigorously. "But it's as if I'm speaking to a brick wall. She's doesn't want to listen to anything I have to say." Sydney looked petulant.

"You know, I think you might have an easier time of it if you went to see her in person." Her father suggested. "It's harder to stay angry at someone if you actually have to look them in the face when you're yelling at them."

Sydney's expression became guarded. "I'm not ready to go back to L.A. yet, Dad. Not even for a visit." 

"Are you expecting Francie to come up here then?" Jack asked. "Sydney, you know how busy the restaurant keeps her. She's there six days a week and now she has the catering business on the side. The poor woman barely has any time for herself."

"And obviously I'm not important enough to make any attempt to salvage our relationship?" She queried him.

"Sydney, you can't put all the blame on Francie." Her father shook his head. "Yes, it's true she could be a little more receptive in listening to what you have to say, but you also have to make the effort to show her that you still care about her and want her in your life."

Sydney let out a sigh as she contemplated her father's words. "Well, maybe we could meet each other halfway." She said grudgingly. "I guess I could drive down one day after school lets out for the summer."

"I think that would be your best option." Jack nodded approvingly. "You need to stop hiding from people, Sydney. Confront Francie face to face. Tell her that you've already apologized many times over and that if she can't find it in her heart to forgive you after all the times you were there for her, then you don't need her. You could wash your hands of her and that would be that." He said with a rather dismissive shrug.

"Are you saying you think I should issue a do-or-die ultimatum to my best friend?" Sydney said skeptically. "Yeah, that'll really go over well."

"Well, at least it would get you out of this state of limbo you're trapped in." Her father retorted. "And while you're laying down the law with Francie, you might as well do it with Vaughn, too." He added, just to see what kind of reaction he would get.

"_What?" Sydney's eyes nearly popped out of her head. _

Her father's eyes flickered briefly. Exactly what he thought. "Yes, Sydney, I said his name."

"I know, I heard you." She said sharply.

Jack's face softened. "Sydney, do you want to tell me the story behind your split with Vaughn?" He asked gently.

"You know what happened." Sydney had her lip stuck out in a pout. Her father hid a smile. She looked just as she used to when she was a child. She was stubborn then and she was stubborn now. Just like her old man. 

Jack waited patiently. Now that Vaughn's name was out there, he was sure Sydney's curiosity would get the better of her. He knew it couldn't have been easy for her all these months to purposely not speak of someone who had occupied her thoughts for so many years.

Sydney couldn't stand it any longer. "Dad?" She said timidly.

"Yes, dear?"

"Have you--I mean, do you know…how he's doing?" An odd sense of relief washed over her as she uttered those words. It was as if a dam had suddenly been broken within her. 

To his credit, her father didn't act smug. "Well, I'm never actually around long enough to pick up on the office gossip, but I do know that Vaughn is doing quite well professionally. The higher-ups were very impressed with how he handled himself during the takedown operation last year and he was promoted shortly after you left town." 

"Oh, well, that's wonderful!" Sydney felt a rush of pleasure at the news. She was genuinely happy for him and maybe even a little proud that she had been one of the reasons for his success.

"It's more responsibility, but he seems to be handling it well enough." Jack informed her. "Although…" His voice suddenly trailed off as his look turned pensive.

"Dad?" Sydney prompted him after a few moments of silence. "You were saying?"

Her father came out of his thoughts. "Oh, I'm sorry, it's just that I've heard rumblings that Vaughn might be taking on his old handler duties again." 

"Are you serious?" Sydney felt oddly perturbed by this news. Maybe it was petty and selfish of her, especially when she knew firsthand how some green, wet-behind-the-ears agent could benefit from Vaughn's wisdom and experience, but she found herself hoping he would reconsider going back to what he arguably did best. Sydney wanted to be the only agent Vaughn would ever handle (and take that statement in _any way you choose); if someone else were to take her place, she felt as if it would somehow diminish all that they had accomplished together as handler and agent._

"I would have thought his promotion would preclude him from taking on the extra duties that come with being a handler." Sydney commented.

"Oh, paperwork can always be transitioned for a good enough reason." Her father gave an indifferent wave of his hand. "What do you think he was doing before he got you?"

"'Got me?'" Sydney turned slightly red. "Oh, you mean before he was assigned to be my handler."

"Of course, Sydney." Jack replied blandly.

"So am I to assume that the CIA has recruited another super-agent like myself?" Sydney asked facetiously, her face still feeling a bit warm. "Is that why they're wooing Vaughn back?"

Jack smiled amusedly. "No one could ever be quite as exceptional as you were, Sydney, but the kid has potential."

A flash of irrational jealousy spurted through her veins. Would Vaughn take to his new agent as quickly as he had to her? Would he meet his young protégée at the pier for midnight chat sessions? Would the second coming of Sydney Bristow receive a beautiful antique picture frame as a Christmas gift? Would he risk life and limb time and time again for her?

_Was it a her? She had to know. "So who is this __wunderkind?" Sydney asked in her most casual manner. Of course, she wasn't fooling her father, who was never very easily fooled._

"I believe the name is Prescott." Jack told her. "Casey Prescott."

_Well, that was no help at all. Her father was forcing her to ask him point-blank if Vaughn's new agent was male or female._

"And is Casey short for something?" _Like Cassandra or Catherine?_

Jack gave her a knowing look. "Charles, I think." He replied with a smile.

Sydney flushed, realizing he knew what game she had been playing all along. Why did she even bother?

"Okay, so I'm relieved." She made a face.

"Interesting." Jack replied thoughtfully, studying his daughter. "You're still in love with him, aren't you, Sydney?" He uttered softly.

Sydney turned her head to gape at him. "You knew how I felt about Vaughn?" She said slowly.

Her father gave her a little smile. "Maybe you don't want to hear this, but it was one of the worst-kept secrets floating around CIA Headquarters."

"Oh, great." She groaned. "My love life was fodder for the office gossip mill."

"Well, it wasn't exactly the water cooler conversation you think it was, Sydney." Jack sympathized. "In the beginning, there were concerns, but after awhile, it just became sort of accepted."

"I want you to know that nothing ever happened, Dad." She said hastily. 

"I know that, Sydney, and so did your superiors." He assured her. "If it had, it would have come out eventually, but there were never any rumors of inappropriate behavior between the two of you."

Her mind briefly wandered to Cairo and the kiss that had changed her life forever. At least they never found out about that. She had never told anybody about that night and obviously Vaughn hadn't said anything, either. That one perfect moment in time had been theirs and theirs alone.

"That's good to know." Sydney said, thankful that her father couldn't read her thoughts.

Jack was uncertain as to how to proceed. He didn't want to push, but he did want Sydney to admit her true feelings. It was the only way she would be able to achieve her heart's desire. 

"So was I correct in assuming that you still care for Vaughn?" He asked tentatively.

"Yes, you were correct." She replied. There was no sense in denying it.

"Then help me out here, Sydney." Her father looked her straight in the eye. "I don't understand why you're cutting yourself off from the man you love." 

Sydney bristled slightly. "That's not what I'm doing!" She protested. "I have responsibilities here, Dad. I have my job and the house. I'm making a new life for myself."

"And are you saying that you don't want your new life to include Vaughn?" Jack raised an eyebrow. "I find that very hard to believe, Sydney. I mean, you must have entertained the notion that one day you and he would have a chance to be together. Isn't that one of the reasons why you were always so determined to bring down SD-6?" 

"It was." She admitted in a small voice, feeling choked up. "I always thought that once we got rid of SD-6, I would get everything I wanted. I'd pay back Sloane for what he did to Danny, I would get my freedom and I would be able to tell Vaughn that I loved him."

"But things didn't work out the way I wanted them to, Dad." She said sadly. "After I was released from custody…when I got here…well, you know what happened. By then, it was too late. Vaughn had moved on. Without me." 

"You know this for a fact?" Her father asked shrewdly.

"Yes." She said firmly, remembering that horrible phone call. "And I don't blame him for it. Not completely, anyway. My conduct last summer made him think that I didn't want him in my life."

"But we both know there were extenuating circumstances." Jack pointed out. "Why can't you go to him and explain what happened to you?"

"My telling him won't change what he did." Sydney's temper was quick to flare. The pain of Vaughn's betrayal was still quite raw and close to the surface even after all this time. "I had no control over what happened to me, but he clearly knew what he was doing when he jumped into bed with another woman." She said heatedly and then flushed when she realized what she had blurted out.

"I see." Her father said awkwardly.

"I'm sorry." Sydney looked embarrassed. "I didn't mean to involve you in what should have been kept between him and me."

"That's all right. At least I know now why you feel you can't forgive him." Jack said neutrally.

Sydney cut her eyes sideways at her father. "Why do I hear in your voice that you think I'm doing the wrong thing?"

"Maybe because I don't know if saving your pride is worth what you're losing." Her father replied. "Sydney, I have watched you struggle with your feelings for Vaughn for a very long time. Now you finally have the chance you always wanted. Why are you so willing to give that up without a fight?"

Sydney could feel the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes. "I guess it's because I got scared." She confessed quietly. "I know I gave him cause to doubt my feelings for him, but he gave up on me so easily. All the dreams that used to keep me going just fell apart in my hands and I started thinking that maybe I would just be better off if I didn't wish for something I was never supposed to have." She bowed her head, hot tears falling down her face.

"Damn that Arvin Sloane." Her father muttered. "He did this to you."

"What?" She cried out. "What does he have to do with this?"

"Because he's the reason you got scared." Jack's expression was thunderous. "When he took Danny from you, he killed all the dreams you had for a bright, happy life with the man you loved. You began to believe that you would never have a happy storybook ending, so why even bother hoping for one?"

"He doesn't have that much power over my life." Sydney said through clenched teeth.

"Oh, no?" Her father's voice was slightly taunting. "You're letting what he did to you control your destiny."

"No." She said fiercely.

"Then prove it, Sydney." Jack said forcefully. "Prove that he no longer has the ability to hurt you."

Sydney was silent, not knowing what to say.

"Don't let your fears from the past ruin your future." Her father's tone was gentler now.  "It's okay to have dreams again and it's even okay to make some of them happen."

"Because they can't take them away from me anymore, is that what you're trying to say?" She looked at her father for reassurance.

"Not unless you give them the power to do so."

Sydney's lip quivered. "Maybe you're right, Dad." She said after a long pause. "Maybe I need to start taking back control of my life instead of letting my fears control me."

"That's my girl." Jack smiled.

Sydney gave him a little grin, her entire outlook suddenly brightening. What her father said made sense. She had been on the verge of having everything she had ever wanted yet at the first sign of adversity, she'd run away in the opposite direction like a scared rabbit. Wasn't Vaughn worth the effort it would take to get him back? If he wasn't, then what had she been fighting so hard for all these years?

That conversation Sydney had with her father two weeks ago served to open her eyes. Before her father left the next morning to drive back to L.A., she made a promise both to him and to herself that she would settle her unfinished business with Vaughn just as soon as she was able. 

The end of the school year arrived amidst a flurry of final exams, yearbook signings and graduation. Sydney found it hard to watch as a good number of her students walked across the stage in their caps and gowns to pick up their diplomas. On the one hand, she was proud that she'd had the privilege to shape a small portion of their lives, but on the other hand, it was very sad to say goodbye. She'd always had a problem with goodbyes. 

So that was where Sydney found herself as she ran her errands, stopping by the home improvement store to pick up some finishing nails before going to the bank to withdraw some cash and finally ending up at the post office to mail her bills. For the first time that she could remember, Sydney Bristow had absolutely nothing to do and nowhere to be. She had a long, lazy summer stretched out before her and as she drove back home, she thought to herself that this might be the perfect time to take a little trip back to L.A.

When Sydney arrived back home, her mail carrier was just putting up the little red flag on her mailbox. He waved to her and she waved back as she walked down the driveway to retrieve her mail.

_Hmmm, I never get anything interesting_, she grumbled silently as she skimmed through the contents of her mailbox. Sydney let herself inside the house, tossing the bag of nails on the dining table as she adjourned to her living room to separate her magazines from the catalogs. Then she opened her bills, placing them promptly on her desk so that she could file them away with her other debts that needed to be paid.

One letter remained when she was finished sorting through her mail. The cream-colored envelope had been fashioned out of a heavyweight marbleized paper and looked suspiciously like an invitation of some sort. Sydney was puzzled as she broke the seal on the envelope. She didn't think she knew anyone who was getting married.

_The honor of your presence is requested at the marriage of Alice Amanda Fairchild, Daughter of Mrs_. _Elaine Fairchild and the late Kenneth Fairchild to Michael C_. _Vaughn, Son of Mrs_. _Marguerite Vaughn and the late William C_. _Vaughn_…

Suddenly, the room started spinning out of control…

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: Now we're getting started, kids.  I know this second chapter was very long and if you managed to make it to the end, I really do appreciate that you took the time to read it.  I didn't intend for it to be this way, but I just could not find a good place to put a break in the action because the entire backstory sets up for future chapters.  By the way, did you like my mini-cliffhanger?? (grin) 

Also, I realize that I'm being a bit cryptic about some of the plot points, such as what _really_ happened to Sydney after she got to Santa Barbara, but the only thing I can tell you is that it will come out later on.  Believe it or not, I do have a plan.

Anyway, let me know what you think by leaving a review! Happy Thanksgiving and thanks again for the read.


	3. Choosing Her Future

Sydney caught herself before she actually fainted, but her legs were unsteady and she was grateful that the sofa was there to break her fall. The thick parchment-like paper fluttered from her fingertips as she leaned back against the sofa and covered her face with her hands, in the hopes that she could stop the room from spinning if she didn't have to look at it.

When Sydney opened her eyes again, it was through the gap she'd created between her index and middle fingers. She slowly took her hands away from her face when she realized that the room was no longer rotating on its axis. After taking several deep breaths, she finally felt ready to take stock of the situation. Sydney spied the wedding invitation on the coffee table where she had dropped it and picked it up again, almost hesitantly, as if not touching it would make it seem less real.

She re-read the words silently to herself. _Marriage…__Alice…__Vaughn. Those three words glared mockingly at her. Vaughn was getting married to a woman he had broken up with six years ago? How? Why?_

Sydney could hear her heart pounding in her chest as she sat there in utter disbelief. A chill suddenly ran through her even though it was a warm summer day and she found it difficult to get her mind to focus. All she could think about was that Vaughn was marrying someone who wasn't her. _This can't be happening, Sydney kept saying to herself. __It just can't be._

Her eyes kept returning to the cream-colored invitation with the pretty embossed rose on the front cover. _Michael C. __Vaughn. Sydney realized with a start that she didn't even know what his middle name was. And had he ever told her that his mother's name was Marguerite?_

_Alice Amanda Fairchild. Sydney had only seen her picture once or twice before Vaughn had gotten rid of it, but she remembered Alice's pretty golden girl looks, the blonde hair and the blue eyes and the slim figure. At the time, Sydney hadn't cared one way or the other who Alice was or what she meant to Vaughn, but she did remember feeling a bit put off by the superior-looking smile on Alice's face. __I thought she looked like a snob, Sydney sneered to herself, oblivious to how catty she was being. _

…_ceremony at St. __Margaret's…__6:__00 pm Saturday, June 18th followed by a dinner reception at Somerset Country Club…_

_Well, I can't be too off the mark if she's having her reception at some swank country club, Sydney fumed. __She's probably some spoiled little rich girl who's never worked a day in her life--_

The date of the wedding suddenly jumped out at her. _June 18th. Sydney ran to her purse to get her day planner and fumbled through the book to get to the appropriate page. June 18th was __this Saturday. What kind of person sends a wedding invitation four days before the ceremony?_

Something wasn't right here. Sydney retrieved the outer envelope where she had dropped it on the floor and looked inside. That was odd. No reply card. Upon further examination, she also realized that her name and address were not hand-calligraphied; it looked as if it had been done on a laser printer in a highly stylized font. Was it proper wedding etiquette to run your invitations through a laser printer or was that considered tacky? Somehow she didn't think Country Club Alice would run the risk of looking so gauche.

It became obvious to Sydney that what she was looking at was not an invitation sent by either the bride or--she shuddered at the thought--the groom. No, this was from someone who wanted her to find out about the wedding. But who would do such a thing? And why?

Holding the pseudo-invitation in her hand was like receiving a slap in the face. It was made quite clear to her that Vaughn hadn't been sitting around watching life go by as a disinterested bystander. He was actually moving forward with his life. Unfortunately, in moving forward, he was moving away from her.

So what was she going to do about it? Was she going to let the love of her life marry another woman? 

No, she would never let that happen. Sydney knew Vaughn couldn't love Alice the way he loved her. She knew that if he married Alice, he would be making a terrible mistake that he would regret for the rest of his life.

Maybe Alice was a perfectly nice person. Or maybe she wasn't. That didn't factor in to how Sydney knew the marriage was doomed. 

What did factor in was what Sydney knew about his feelings for _her. Although they'd never said the actual words to each other, she'd been aware of how he felt about her. Every gesture, every glance, every unspoken promise in his eyes. Vaughn loved her. He had been her protector and her champion and the one person in her life who had earned her complete faith and trust. Whenever she would go out on a mission, he was always the last person she wanted to say goodbye to and the first person she wanted to see when she returned._

He had sacrificed so much for her, both professionally and personally. It went without saying all the times he had stuck his neck out for her, standing up to his superiors in order to defend her or her actions. It was an indication of how much he believed in her and that made her love him all the more.

But aside from any loyalty he felt for her inside the job, she knew it had to be doubly tough on him outside of it. It couldn't have been easy for him to love a woman he had no chance of having as long as external forces kept them apart. Sydney would often wonder why he just didn't forget about her and go find a nice, normal woman with whom he could share his life. Someone upon whom he could outwardly shower love and affection and not have to worry that one kiss in public could get them killed. 

The fact that he never did spoke volumes to her. He was making the statement that he was committed to her for however long it would take for them to be together. A man with such depth and intensity of feeling could not forget so quickly or so easily. He might think he was over Sydney and maybe he even wanted to be, but Vaughn's whirlwind courtship of his old girlfriend was just a misguided attempt at trying to put the ghosts in his past to rest and get on with his life.

However, Sydney knew it wouldn't work. She was in his blood just as he was in hers and no farce of a marriage was going to change that.

For the first time in a long time, Sydney knew exactly what she had to do. After tossing the invitation into her purse, she ran upstairs to pack a bag. Thanks to her years jet-setting across the globe, she was an old pro at knowing exactly what to pack for any occasion. Now, however, as she contemplated her closet, she had one question. What did one wear when one wanted to break up a wedding?

As she went through the house, locking windows and closing curtains, Sydney placed a call to her father on her cordless phone. He was currently in London for a few days, but she knew he would worry if he called and she wasn't home, so she left him a message, telling him where she was going and what she was going to do. No doubt he'd be tickled pink that she was displaying the rogue tendencies for which he was so famous.

Sydney gassed up her car before heading for the 101 Highway. Since it was a weekday, she didn't think she would encounter too much traffic and maybe there was a possibility that she could make the trip in a couple of hours. 

During the drive down to L.A., Sydney wondered to herself how she was going to accomplish what she set out to do. Was she really thinking about crashing the wedding? The thought of running into the church just as Vaughn and Alice were saying their "I do's" was more laughable than anything else. Not that she _wouldn't do it, of course, if it came to that, but there had to be another way. She still had four days before the wedding. All she needed was a plan._

Sydney arrived in the city during late afternoon just as the rush-hour traffic commenced. That was one thing she definitely didn't miss about living in L.A.  

As Sydney exited the freeway, she was faced with the dilemma of where to go next. She still had a key to her old apartment, but she didn't want to face the awkward situation of having Francie come home to find her stretched out on the sofa. It was presumptuous of her to think she'd be welcome there, anyway.  

Another possibility was her father's house. He was out of town, but he wouldn't object to her staying there. Sydney considered that option briefly before rejecting it. The thought of being by herself at a time like this didn't appeal to her. She didn't feel like being alone after finding out about Vaughn's wedding. Plus she needed a partner in crime with whom to strategize.

That left Will. Of course, Will would welcome her. And even though he might disapprove of her scheme to break up the wedding, he would also help her. That was just how he was.

She turned her car in the direction of Will's apartment, amazed that she was still able to negotiate the twists and turns with the practiced ease of someone who traveled the route every single day. _I guess there are some things you can't forget, no matter how long you've been away, Sydney thought to herself._

Sydney knew Will would still be at work, but luckily, she had held on to the house key he had given her a few years before when he moved in to his new place. She let herself into the apartment, tossed her bags on the floor and then hit the refrigerator to get something to drink.

_God, now I know why you were always eating when you came by our place, Sydney reflected as she stared at the meager contents of the refrigerator. If she subtracted the numerous take-out containers, the only other items being kept cold were a six-pack of beer, three bottles of water and a sickly-looking apple. _

Sydney snagged one of the water bottles and then grabbed her purse. If she was going to be an uninvited houseguest, the least she could do was stock up on some groceries for the week.

She headed for the nearest supermarket to pick up a few sundry items as well as the makings for the cheese enchiladas she'd decided to make for dinner. A tossed salad would go well with her main course and maybe she'd make some Spanish rice if she could remember the way Francie had taught her how to do it. For dessert, Sydney chose that obvious comfort food called ice cream, adding a pint of Ben and Jerry's Cherry Garcia to her shopping cart (for Will) along with a pint of Godiva Chocolate Cheesecake (for herself).

When Sydney got back to the apartment, she put away all of her groceries and then got started on dinner. After preparing the enchiladas and popping them into the oven, she tossed a bag of pre-made salad fixings into a wooden bowl and set it in the refrigerator to chill. The rice took a little more time, but once that was taken care of, all that was left was the pitcher of margaritas she would mix right before Will came home.

After checking the clock, Sydney decided that she had just enough time to take a shower before Will arrived. She ducked into the bathroom for a quick shower and came out feeling cleansed and refreshed. She was feeling a lot better about things now that she had gotten her butt in gear. She had every confidence in the world that she would find some way to make Vaughn forgive her.

Sydney got dressed in her favorite pair of jeans and a white camisole-like top that had little ties at the shoulders. She did a light make-up job and then ran a comb through her hair several times. Satisfied with her appearance, she gave one last shake of her head before opening the bathroom door and turning off the light.

As she stepped out of the bathroom into the hallway, Sydney saw something coming towards her out of the corner of her eye. But before she had time to react, she suddenly found herself being jumped from behind.

If Sydney thought her fighting skills would have diminished in the year she had been away from the CIA, she was gratified to find out that she couldn't have been further from the truth. The moment she was tackled, instinct took over and she reacted with all of the grace and finesse that a superspy such as herself would have. She made several quick jabs with her elbows into the gut of her assailant, who responded with a rather satisfying "Ooof!" and then she hooked her bare foot around his ankle to take him down, spinning away from his grasp as she did so. She stopped to catch her breath for just a moment and then turned around to face her attacker.

_To be continued…_

**Author's Note**:  First off, I wanted to say that you guys give me the warm fuzzies with all the encouraging reviews.  I hope the story continues to interest you all the way to the end. 

Secondly, I know this chapter was way short compared to the last one, but I had to catch my breath.  I'm still working on Chapter 4, but that one's turning out to be another fairly lengthy addition to the story.

I guess that's it except to say thanks again for the great feedback.

P.S. You all didn't really think Alice or Vaughn would invite Sydney to their wedding, did you?  Hmmm, then again, maybe one of them did. You'll just have to stay tuned to find out. (grin)

See ya later!


	4. The Damage That Was Done

"Oh, my God!" Sydney cried out.

"Hey, Syd, nice to see you again, too." Will grimaced from his reclining position on the floor. Having had the wind thoroughly knocked out of him, he was struggling to sit up.

"Oh, Will, I'm so sorry!" Sydney apologized profusely, rushing to help him up. 

He gratefully leaned on her. "What do you make of it that the first time I actually get to show off my smooth CIA-taught defensive skills, I run into someone who takes me down in one fell swoop?" He wisecracked, wincing as Sydney led him over to the couch.

Sydney couldn't help but grin. Same old self-deprecating Will. "You should know better than to mess with the Master." She kidded him. "Do you want some water? Or maybe some ice?" She asked solicitously.

"The water would be great, thanks." Will nodded as he rubbed his tender stomach. 

Sydney went into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the refrigerator, stopping for a second to check on the enchiladas, which were bubbling over from the cheese she had sprinkled generously on top. Gratified to discover that Will actually owned an oven mitt, she took the enchiladas out of the oven to cool and then went back out into the living room.

"Here you go." She handed the bottle to Will, who accepted it gladly. She watched as he unscrewed the cap and took a long drink of water. "Feeling better?"

"I think I'll live." He said with a weak smile. "I'm sorry I jumped you, but I heard someone in the bathroom--"

"--and you were just itching to play James Bond, I know." Sydney said teasingly.

"Well, you know I don't get out much." Will deadpanned.

"Will Tippin, the CIA's most secret weapon." Sydney agreed and they exchanged grins.

An awkward silence fell between them. "So what are you doing here?" He finally asked, his curiosity apparent.

"Do you mean in L.A. or in your apartment?" She asked as a stalling tactic.

"Both, I guess." Will shrugged. "From everything I've heard out of you the past year, I got the impression that you never wanted to come back here."

"There didn't seem to be any reason to want to come back." Sydney replied enigmatically. "But that's changed."

Will raised an eyebrow. "Curiouser and curiouser." He drawled. 

She gave him a little smile. "Um, Will, before we go any further, I have a favor to ask." Sydney looked hesitant. "I know I'm probably out of the running for Most Gracious Houseguest considering that I just pummeled you into submission, but is it all right if I crash here for a few days?" She asked, rather sheepishly.

Will's face clouded over for the briefest of moments, but it passed so quickly, Sydney thought that perhaps she had imagined it. "Of course, Syd. You know you're always welcome."

"Thanks, Will." She said gratefully. "I know it's terrible of me to just drop in without calling first--"

"Yeah, yeah, I'll never forgive you for it." Will cut her off. "Do you hear me complaining? We haven't seen each other since before Christmas, for Pete's sake."

"I know." She acknowledged, a bit shame-faced. "I haven't been much of a friend to you this past year, have I?"

"You've had your own issues to deal with." He shrugged. "I understand."

"You're one of the few people who do." She said softly.

 Will suddenly sniffed the air appreciatively. "Hey, did you make dinner?"

"It was the least I could do for barging in on you unannounced." She smiled. "Come on, go sit down and I'll bring the food out."

Since Will was a bachelor who was rarely treated to a home-cooked meal, he had several servings of everything before any serious conversation could be had. Sydney didn't mind, however. It had been ages since she'd been able to completely be herself around another person who wasn't her father. She was always so conscious of keeping her cards close to the vest that she could never be entirely open or honest with people who didn't know all of her secrets. It felt good to finally be able to laugh and joke with an old and trusted friend.

They were still sitting at the dining table after dinner, polishing off the last of the margaritas in between bites of ice cream. It used to drive Sydney crazy that Will liked to eat his ice cream directly from the carton and whenever she used to berate him for it, he would retort that there was no sense in dirtying another dish when it already came in its own perfect serving container. She just chalked up his slightly off-putting behavior to the fact that he lived alone and therefore never needed to worry that someone else might object to sharing his saliva with them.

But now that she had gotten used to living by herself, she no longer found the practice so disgusting. No dirty dishes meant no dishes to wash and she hated washing dishes. It was all good.

"You know, you look great, Syd." Will complimented her with a smile. "I guess living at the beach must agree with you."

"The sound of the waves puts me right to sleep every night." She grinned. "In the beginning, I thought I might feel a little isolated, but I actually kind of like the solitude now. I like the fact that I no longer have to worry about people hiding in the bushes always watching me."

"Yeah, you went through too many years of that." He nodded.

"So how are you doing?" Sydney asked him after a short pause. "Is work going okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, actually it is." Will replied, his expression turning thoughtful. "It's funny how things work out, Syd. Six years ago I was cursing the fact that I could no longer do the one thing that mattered the most to me and now I find I don't miss being a reporter much at all."

"Really?" She looked slightly skeptical.

Will gave her a rueful smile. "Okay, well, sometimes I miss it." He admitted. "Especially when I read the crap that paper puts out and I know I could do it so much better."

"Of course you could." Sydney said comfortingly.

"But, anyway, that's ancient history, isn't it?" He gave a careless shrug. That part of his life was long over and there was no sense in dwelling on it, even if it still hurt a little bit. "So you're out for the summer, right? School's over?"

"Yeah, the term ended last Friday." She nodded. "It's so weird to have all this time stretched out in front of me with nothing to do. When I was still with the Agency, I never had any time to relax."

"Well, enjoy it, Syd." Will encouraged her. "You've certainly earned it."

"I guess." An overwhelming feeling of sadness suddenly overtook her and she jumped up out of her chair. Will was a bit startled as he watched Sydney pick up her melting ice cream carton and put it back in the freezer. His eyes never strayed as they followed her from the refrigerator to the sink and back to the table.

"Syd, don't you think it's time you told me why you're here?" He asked in a gentle voice.

Sydney met his gaze. "All of a sudden, I'm not so sure." She looked troubled. "I thought I knew when I left Santa Barbara this afternoon, but now I don't know if it was the right thing to do. Maybe my being here will just make things worse."

"What things, Sydney?" He asked concernedly. Then he saw the look in her eyes. "Oh, God, Syd, how did you find out?" Will blurted out.

"How did I find out about what, Will?" She countered. Had Will known about Vaughn's wedding? Why hadn't he told her sooner?

Will suddenly looked fidgety. "I don't how much you know, but there's something going down this weekend that I never told you anything about." He confessed.

"Sounds like something pretty dire." She commented neutrally.

"I guess it depends on your point of view." Will said, looking extremely distressed.

Sydney took pity on him. "Will, just spill it." She advised him, but not unkindly. It wasn't his fault that he had to be the bearer of bad news. "It's obviously eating you up inside not to tell me." 

He let out a long sigh before replying. "It's about Mike." Will shot her a sheepish look. "Sorry, I know he's always been Vaughn to you."

Sydney felt her cheeks redden. "What's going on with him?"

"He's…getting married this weekend." Will looked miserable. She could see it in his eyes that he wasn't the one who had sent her the fake wedding invitation. He wouldn't have had such a hard time telling her about it if he thought she already knew. "Sydney, please don't be mad at me for not telling you sooner. Since you never wanted to talk about him, I assumed you didn't care to know." He looked at her imploringly.

"Will, it's okay." She laid her hand over his to reassure him. "Wow, Vaughn's getting married." Even though she had known about it for several hours now, actually hearing it being said out loud made her feel choked up. 

"Yeah, on Saturday." Will informed her. "How do you…feel about that?" He asked tentatively. He could see the tears forming in Sydney's eyes and was desperate to keep them from falling. It always pained him to see her cry.

"If he's happy, I'm happy." She tried to smile, but the tone of her voice belied her words.

Will moved to comfort her, taking her hands in his. It alarmed him that they felt like ice and he immediately sought to warm her up. "Syd, come on, let's go sit on the couch where we can be more comfortable." She let him lead her into the living room, where she plopped onto the sofa rather forlornly. He sat down next to her and put an arm around her shoulders. They sat quietly for a few moments as Will wondered just how exactly he could console her.

"Syd, I know when you left L.A. last year, you sort of left things…unfinished with him." He began awkwardly.

"Yeah, I guess you could say that." She admitted. "But by the looks of it, it didn't take him long to forget about me." She added, a bit reproachfully.  

"It wasn't like that, Sydney." Will shook his head. "You don't know--"

"What I know is that Vaughn's managed to get himself engaged and about to be married in a little less than a year's time." She interrupted him. "It's quite obvious that he's a very fast worker."

"Not so fast." He corrected her. "The bride-to-be is actually someone he already knew."

"Oh?" Sydney feigned innocence.

"Yeah." Will nodded. "Did Mike ever mention someone named Alice to you?"

"He was dating Alice when we met." She told him. "But he broke up with her about two months later." _When he fell in love with me_, she added silently.

"Oh, well, they got back together." He said lamely.

"Obviously." Sydney unconsciously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and then plastered a big fake smile on her face. "Well, I think it's great that he's found someone. He deserves some joy and happiness in his life after dealing with me for so many years."

"I highly doubt that Mike thinks dealing with you was such a raw deal." Will said quietly. "Syd, you meant a lot to him."  
  
Will's use of the past tense wounded her. "But apparently, not enough." She said with a shake of her head. Sydney suddenly squeezed Will's hand. "Hey, don't be so upset for me. Vaughn and I just weren't meant to be. It doesn't mean I won't find someone eventually." 

Will gave her a surprised look. "I didn't realize you were even looking." He had long ago resolved his feelings for Sydney, but even now, Will still felt a little twinge in his heart. It had taken him years to finally come to grips with the fact that she would never have the same depth of love for him that he had for her. It wasn't just that there always seemed to be another man ahead of him in line; it was also that he didn't inspire the same kind of all-consuming passion in her that she felt for Vaughn or Danny or even Noah, to a lesser degree. It had been hard to accept at first, but Will realized it was the only thing he could do if he wanted Sydney to remain a part of his life. Being friends was better than being nothing at all.

"Well, I wasn't exactly trolling the bars every night, but I did go out on a few dates with one of the Spanish teachers at school." Sydney made a face at Will. "His name is Mark Ramos. His family originally came from Mexico, but he was born in California and he's an absolute whiz at languages. He's fluent in Spanish, French, Italian and Portuguese."

She gave a laugh. "Of course, he was knocked for a loop when I was able to converse with him in each language and he was absolutely floored when I demonstrated my abilities in so many others." She said modestly, with a straight face.

"Were you showing off for him, Syd?" Will asked teasingly. "How did you explain that, anyway?"

"I told him I was an army brat and that my father moved us around a lot when I was a kid." She confessed. "Mark's a nice guy, but it was never anything even remotely serious."

"Too bad."

"So what about you?" She inquired. "How are things with Samantha?"

Will's lips twisted ruefully. "We just broke up two weeks ago."

"Oh, Will, I'm so sorry." Sydney said sympathetically. "I thought that once you passed the six-month mark that things were going okay."

"Yeah, well, they were and then they weren't." He said with a shrug. "And of course, you know me, Mr. Impeccable Timing. It's just like me, don't you think, to have all these wedding functions to attend this weekend and I don't have a date to take to any of them?" Will realized too late that his babbling had let loose too much information. _Damn it, when would he learn to keep his trap shut_?

Sydney gave him a flabbergasted look. "You've been invited to the wedding?" She asked incredulously.

Will hesitated before speaking. "Actually, I'm _in_ the wedding." He said clumsily. "As an usher."

Her mouth dropped open. "I didn't realize that you and Vaughn had gotten so close." She said slowly.

"Well, you know, he and I still had to work together and with you not around, we no longer had anything to create any tension between us." He gulped nervously. "Mike and I actually discovered we have a lot in common." _Being in love with the same woman notwithstanding_.

"Really." She was still beyond floored by his bombshell.

"Well, you wanted us to be friends, didn't you, Syd?" He prodded her. "It took awhile, but it finally happened."

"I'm glad for you." Sydney gave him a sincere smile. "I always thought that the two of you would like each other."

"Yeah, we usually hang out about two or three times a week, although that's been cut down ever since Mike got engaged." He said. "Sometimes he and Weiss and I will go out for a beer after work or meet up at Staples to see a game. You know he's really into hockey, don't you?"

"Yeah, I know that." She said quietly. 

"Hey, and I even took him by the restaurant to introduce him to Francie." Will revealed. "You were right that she would like him. They really hit it off."

"What'd I tell you?" Her voice was hollow. For some reason, Sydney didn't like finding out that all of her friends were bonding when she wasn't around to see it. It made her feel as if it was a good thing that she was no longer a part of their lives. Like they were happier and friendlier and more at ease with her not in the picture to keep them all apart.

"Do you know she's even doing the catering for the wedding?"

_Oh, God, this was too much_. "Wow, I guess life really did go on without me." Sydney said wistfully.

Will suddenly realized that Sydney's posture had become tense and rigid. "Oh, but, Syd, I hope you realize that's it not the same without you around." He said hastily. "We all miss you, even though some of us don't want to admit it." He added, referring to both Francie and Vaughn.

"Well, I'm not so sure they'd like you speaking for them, but at least I know you're sincere." She gave him a grateful look. "So would I be correct in assuming that Eric is playing best man?"

"Of course." Will nodded and then shot her a grin. "You would not believe the wild bachelor party he threw last weekend." He cackled just thinking about it.

"Oh, I can just imagine what Eric would come up with." She smirked.

"Yeah, well, take what you might imagine and multiply it by a hundred." Will rolled his eyes.

"I can't believe what I'm hearing, Will Tippin." Sydney pretended to be scandalized. "And to think that all of the guys at the party are the very same men who have been entrusted with the sacred duty of protecting our country." She drawled.

"Hey, we CIA types may look stuffy, but we know how to have fun." He puffed out his chest. "And another thing, just be thankful that we all know how to keep a secret because if Alice ever found out what went on, we'd be preparing for World War III this very minute."  
  


Sydney hid a smile at Will's slightly pompous-sounding 'we CIA types.' "Alice would throw a fit over the goings-on at a bachelor party?" She raised an eyebrow. "What is she, super-uptight or something?"

"Try 'or something.'" Will's mouth quirked. "You know, for the life of me, I can't figure out why the hell those two hooked up again."

"You don't think they're compatible?" She asked lightly.

"Well, to hear Alice tell it, they're like the perfect couple absolutely made for each other, but I just don't see it."

"How do they act when they're together?" Sydney was curious.

"Oh, she's all sweetness and light." Will made a face. "He's just sort of by her side, if you know what I mean. Like a well-trained dog, who doesn't move until she tells him to."

"Will!" Sydney's tone was scolding. "You're bordering dangerously close to insulting a man who's supposed to be your friend." She admonished with slight disapproval in her voice.

"I don't mean to be, but I can't help it if it's the truth, can I?" He retorted with a helpless shrug.

"But Vaughn's not like that." She protested. "I mean, I never saw him as a life-of-the-party, gregarious type, but he has a wonderful personality. Funny and sweet and considerate--" Sydney suddenly shut up since expounding on Vaughn's virtues probably wasn't building her case that she was over him.

"Hey, you don't have to sell me on him." Will held his hands up. "Mike's a great guy when he's not around her." He gave her a pointed look. "But when he is, she turns him into milquetoast."

"She doesn't sound as if she brings out the best in him." Sydney commented worriedly. "But if he didn't want to be with her, why would he propose to her?" She asked, half to Will and half to herself.

Will was having an internal debate inside his head. Did he want to open old wounds? He knew Sydney was probably devastated to find out about Vaughn's impending marriage, but if he were to tell her that she had inadvertently set the whole ball in motion, he wasn't quite sure how she would react.

"Will, what does that look on your face mean?" Will gulped when he realized Sydney had been watching him the entire time he'd been mulling over his options.

Now he had no choice. "Syd, the way they got back together, it wasn't your typical boy-reunites-with-girl, boy-falls-back-in-love-with-girl, boy-proposes-marriage-to-girl." He admitted in defeat. "There were extenuating circumstances."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that a lot of things had to happen for them to hook back up again, not the least of which was the way he reacted when he thought you had rejected him." 

"Are you trying to tell me that I'm responsible for them getting back together?" Her lip trembled. "That if I had called him even once in the three months we were apart, he wouldn't have gone looking for Alice?"

Will grimaced at the look on her face. "I'm not trying to twist the knife, Syd. I know you feel badly enough."

"Don't try to sugarcoat it, Will." Sydney shook her head resignedly. "Tell me what I did to him."

Will took a deep breath before speaking. "Well, you know that Mike was in D.C. when they released you, so you were already in Santa Barbara when he got back to town."

"Yeah." 

"From what I heard, he went directly from the airport to the holding facilities where they were keeping you and he raised a pretty big stink when he found out they'd let you go without finding out where you were headed." Will looked at her. "He felt they should have had someone on you, at least for a few days, just to be sure that you were no longer a target."

"Vaughn always looked out for me." Her throat began to tighten as it always did when she was about to cry.

"Francie said that he came by the apartment. She didn't know who he was. She just thought he was some random CIA guy coming to check on you." Will went on. "She told him that some of your stuff was missing. Some clothes and your laptop and your CD player."

"That was my father's doing. He must have gone to the apartment one night when Francie was working late, so she never knew he'd been there."

"She didn't notice that your things were gone until that morning, but she was hesitant to call the police because she wasn't sure if it was just the CIA confiscating some of your belongings to bring to you over at the lock-up."

"That's when Mike got worried because he knew that the CIA was no longer holding you." Will thought back to the day when he had answered his phone at Headquarters to find a frantic Vaughn on the other end of the line. "He actually called me to find out if I knew what had happened to you."

Sydney gave Will a surprised look. "_He_ called _you_?"

"Yeah, I know, he and I weren't exactly best buds at the time, so I know it took a lot of guts for him to dial my number." Will said with grudging respect. "I told him that I didn't know where you were--which was the truth, of course--but at the time, I wasn't sure if he really believed me."

"He couldn't have thought that you would try to keep us apart, could he?" She asked dubiously.

"I think it might have crossed his mind for a brief second." Will shrugged. "It didn't bother me."

"You know, I fully intended to call him and leave a message telling him where I had gone. All during the drive, I kept telling myself that it was the first thing I was going to do the minute I reached the house." Sydney explained in a quiet voice. "But then when I got there, I found out that the phone wasn't hooked up and I didn't have my cell because they didn't give it back to me when I was released. I was a little ticked off, but I told myself that it would be okay if I waited a few days because it's not as if they would have let him rush back home from testifying just because I needed him."

"But as it turned out, I guess those few days made the difference because you know what happened next." She turned somber.

Will nodded. "I know that Mike tried to get in touch with your father, but he was still undergoing the debriefing process and they had moved him to a secret location." He cut his eyes at Sydney. "I assume your dad told you about the threat of a possible retaliatory attack against him?"

She nodded. "He didn't tell me at the time it was going on because he didn't want me to worry, but I found out later." 

"So, anyway, because your father was underground, of course they weren't letting him receive any calls, so Mike never got a hold of him. That's when he started to lose it."  Will recalled. "He was so panicked over your disappearance that it got all of us kind of scared that something might have happened to you."

"And then a few weeks later, word came down that your father had finally been released from custody." He paused. "Mike was just getting ready to go meet him at the airport when he found out that your father had asked for a leave of absence so that he could spend some time with his daughter."

"I think that's what pushed him over the edge." Will looked grim. "Not that he got all violent and tore up his office or smashed a few cars, but after realizing that you were actually okay and had just never bothered to get in touch with him, he became really upset."

"Oh, Will," A single tear trailed down Sydney's face.

"He thought you wanted nothing to do with him, Sydney. That the reason you never contacted him was because you were trying to escape from your past." Will spoke gently, trying to soften the blow as best he could. "He believed that you wanted to forget about everything that had to do with your former life as a spy and since he was a big part of that, he thought you wanted to forget about him as well."

"No, no, no." She shook her head back and forth. "Finding Vaughn? Falling in love with him? That was the only worthwhile thing to come out of that time in my life, Will. He _had_ to have known that." She said desperately.

"I guess he wasn't sure, Syd, and those insecurities led him to believe the worst of you." Will squeezed her shoulder comfortingly. "I know what it's like to want someone to feel a certain way about you and I know how devastating it can be when they don't." He gave her a meaningful look.

"But I _did_ feel that way about him. I still do." She said disconsolately. "And it wasn't as if I didn't want to tell him how I felt. We had restrictions put upon us in which neither of us had any say."

"Yeah, yeah, constraints of the job, no emotional attachments, blah blah blah." He looked at her balefully. "Sydney, you weren't bound by any rules after you left the CIA. You were free to say anything you chose to him." Will reminded her.

"Will, you know why I didn't." Sydney burst out at him. Will was the only other person besides her father who knew what had happened to her. "I didn't because I couldn't." 

"Yeah, I know that now and I can cut you some slack for it, but you have to know how it looked, Syd. None of us, not Mike or me or Francie, received so much as an email from you." Will was careful to keep the critical tone out of his voice. No need to turn the screws. "We had all been worried sick that perhaps one of the Alliance members who were in hiding had abducted you or maybe Sloane had made one last-ditch effort to get back at you for ruining him."

"And then we find out you were sunning yourself on the beach in Santa Barbara?" He raised an eyebrow. "Even I have to admit I was a little ticked off at you."

"Okay, okay, I get it." She swiped at her eyes. "You were mad and he was bitter."

"Bitter doesn't even begin to cover it." Will said soberly. "I wasn't aware of what was going on, but Weiss told me what happened to him. Mike started drinking, going to bars, staying out late. There were times when he'd come in to work looking as if he'd just crawled out from under a rock. He'd be wearing the same wrinkled suit he had on from the previous day and his face would have this scraggly stubble on it and sometimes he'd still have a bit of a buzz on him. It wasn't pretty."

"It was inevitable that his self-destructive behavior would begin to affect his performance at work. He had just been recently promoted, but you could tell whenever you were in conversation with him that his head wasn't into it." Will shook his head. "Looking back on it now, he probably should have taken some time off, but Mike kept insisting that his job was the only thing that was keeping him afloat." He gave her a regretful look. "In reality, he was going under fast."

"Oh, God," Sydney looked disturbed. "I had no idea."

"Weiss tried to run interference for awhile and even I pitched in, but eventually Devlin found out what we were doing." Will grimaced. "That's when he called Mike into his office and told him flat-out that he either had to shape up or he'd be gone."

"Poor Vaughn." Sydney murmured. "I know how much his career with the CIA means to him. It's his way of honoring his father's memory."

"I think the threat of dismissal was enough to shake him up." Will looked thoughtful. "By some weird twist of fate, Mike ran into Alice after his meeting with Devlin and somehow she got him back on track. They spent the entire weekend together and on Monday morning, he was in his office an hour early. Ever since then, Devlin's had nothing but praise for him."

"Well, I guess I should be grateful to her for that, at least." Sydney sniffed. "When did this all happen, Will? When did he get back together with her?"

"Well, Mike was out of it for practically all of last summer and they've been back together for about nine months, so I guess it must have been some time around the beginning of September."

The beginning of September. _Oh, God_! Sydney's hand flew to her mouth. It was _Alice_ who had answered Vaughn's phone that morning. It had to have been. What was that saying: _A day late and a dollar short_? That summed up Sydney's situation perfectly as she sat there contemplating the cruelty of fate and lousy timing.

"They must have gotten engaged pretty soon after that, huh?" She asked as she struggled to keep from breaking down. "I mean, considering all the preparations that had to be made for a June wedding?"

"It happened at Christmas." Will nodded. "Of course, you know how that worked, don't you? You can bet Alice finagled it somehow so that there would be an engagement ring waiting for her under the tree." He said with a wry look.

"She sounds rather controlling." Sydney commented.

"Does the word 'dominatrix' mean anything to you?" He waggled an eyebrow.

"Will!" Sydney wrinkled her nose distastefully. "I don't need the images of leather dog collars and bullwhips in my head."

"Well, she does lead him around by his you-know-whats." Will muttered, but loud enough for her to hear.

"Enough!" Her voice rose.

"Do you want to check it out for yourself?" He couldn't resist adding.

"_What_!" Sydney nearly shrieked.

"I don't mean it _that_ way. Get your mind out of the S&M club." Will rolled his eyes at her. "I didn't mention it before, but there's a lot of stuff planned for this weekend besides the actual wedding. Alice has a ton of out-of-town guests coming in and she has them partying every minute of the day up until the wedding ceremony."

"First off, there's a cocktail reception to welcome her guests on Thursday night at the Haviland Bay Yacht Club." Will made Sydney giggle by putting on a posh accent. "That's semi-formal dress, by the way. You know, blue blazers, ascots, perfectly pressed white slacks." He turned his nose in the air.

"That is the _perfect_ look for you!" Sydney laughed at the picture he had conjured up in her head. "It would be like Mr. Howell from 'Gilligan's Island!'"

"Yeah, as if I could ever live it down if any of the guys from work saw me dressed like that!" Will made a face at her before proceeding on to the next event on his social calendar. "On Friday, Alice's mother is hosting a catered barbecue at her estate for family and friends. It's supposed to be casual, but somehow I think Alice's idea of casual does not jibe with the t-shirt-and-shorts ensemble that you and I would go with." 

"No, of course not." Sydney said drolly. "I picture a lot of khaki and shirts with little animal patches on them."

"Damn, now I'm going to have to go shopping." Will quipped as she giggled. "The rehearsal dinner is on Friday night and then the wedding is scheduled to take place on Saturday evening followed by a sit-down dinner reception."

Will looked at her. "Since I'm in the wedding party, I'm invited to all of these events and seeing as how I'm very much single at the moment, I would love it if you would be my guest."

Sydney hesitated. The temptation to see Vaughn again was so great, but it was tempered by the fact that she knew he wouldn't be as overjoyed to see her as she would be to see him. She was _crashing_ his wedding, for Pete's sake! How forward was that?

"Syd, how about it?" He nudged her. "You can see it firsthand if I'm exaggerating about Mike."

"Alice isn't going to like you bringing me along." She warned.

"As if I care what she thinks." He scoffed.

"You know, Will, I'm kind of getting the vibe here that you don't like her." Sydney observed.

Will let out a sigh. "Well, to be fair, I actually don't know her all that well, but that's because she's a bit elitist and standoffish." His lip curled. "Anybody with an attitude like that completely turns me off, anyway, and that's not even taking into consideration the fact that I hate what she's turned Mike into."

She looked speculative. "Have you ever sat him down and told him how you felt?"

He shot her an indulgent look. "Syd, Mike and I are friends." He said patiently. "We hang out, we go to hockey games, we play pool. For the most part, we get along really well."

"But--and you knew there was one--" Will added with a comical wiggle of his eyebrows. "There will always be that little competitive thing between us and that, sweetheart, is because of you." He said seriously.

"Will…" Sydney started to protest.

"Wait, Syd, I'm not saying this to put any blame on you because there's no blame to be had." He cut her off. "I'm just trying to explain why we don't go there."

"Well, I don't get it. Are you saying that Vaughn would be mistrustful of your motives?" She questioned him. "Why would he be if you're supposed to be his friend?"

"Because not so long ago, he thought of me as a rival." Will reminded her. "It was unfounded, of course, but guys are like that, Syd. We have long memories and we don't forget when another guy makes a move on our girl." 

"But he supposedly doesn't want me." Sydney pointed out. "And it doesn't make sense, anyway, because it's not as if you want to talk him into marrying Alice so that you'd have a clear shot at me." She gave him a pointed look. "Which you don't, by the way."

"Point duly noted." He drawled.

"You'd be trying to talk him _out _of marrying her, so why wouldn't he listen to what you have to say?"

"Because if I criticize her, Mike will get all belligerent and defensive." Will said matter-of-factly. "He'll say that I don't know her like he does and that she's really a great person and that I just have to give her a chance. He'll bend over backwards trying to convince himself that she's the real deal because he's so afraid of feeling as if he's just settling for what he can get rather than having what he wants."

"And he doesn't want to go down that road, Syd." Will's blue eyes gazed into hers. "Mike's already had his heart broken once and the thought of it happening again scares him so much that he's running as hard and as fast as he can in the opposite direction."

Sydney's heart felt as if it were breaking as well. "If Vaughn is running away from me, then I think I would be the last person he would want to see two days before his wedding."

Will gave her a sage look. "Or maybe you're the only person he would want to see two days before his wedding."

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: I rewrote a bit of history concerning Vaughn's and Alice's relationship.  Let's just assume that Alice never showed her face in Season 2, so Sydney never met her and Vaughn and Alice never got back together (I'm still holding out hope that they never did on the show.  Didn't Vaughn just say they were trying to figure things out?).

As always, thanks for your time reading and reviewing.  I always enjoy hearing what you have to say and cheering me on.

See ya later!


	5. Repairing a Friendship

Sydney and Will stayed up talking until way after midnight when she finally forced him to go to bed because he had to get up early the next morning. With his involvement in the wedding, Will was taking a few days off from work and he wanted to tie up some loose ends on some of the projects he was working on.

Sydney was still curled up on the sofa under a light coverlet when Will came out of his bedroom around six-fifteen the next morning. He was freshly shaven, his hair was combed and he was dressed rather nattily in a well-cut gray suit. Whatever else his employment by the CIA had done for him, at least it had gotten him out of his always- slightly-rumpled reporter duds.

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee hit Sydney's nostrils, rousing her from sleep. She padded into the kitchen in her bare feet, surprising Will, who was scarfing down a bowl of Cheerios.

"Hey, I'm sorry, did I wake you?" He asked as Sydney grabbed a mug and poured herself a cup of coffee.

"No, it was the coffee." She gave him a sleepy smile as she sat down next to him at the breakfast bar. "Nice suit."

"Thanks." Will grinned at her. "So what do you have planned for today?"

"I thought I would go see Francie." Sydney replied. "I told you last night that my dad thinks I should settle things with her and he's probably right." She was determined to see that at least one good thing would come out of her return to L.A. Even if she was unable to do anything about Vaughn, having her best girlfriend back in her life would take a little bit of the sting out of losing the man she loved.  
  
"I think it's a good idea myself, Syd." He nodded approvingly. "You should probably go to the restaurant rather than the apartment because that's where she always is. It's actually a good day to go see her because the restaurant isn't open for lunch on Wednesdays."

"Well, maybe that's a sign that my luck is changing." She took a sip of her coffee.

Having finished his cereal, Will stood up and took his empty bowl over to the sink. Then he turned around to face her. "I'm…uh…supposed to meet Mike and Eric for lunch today." He announced and then wondered to himself why he had felt the need to proclaim it to Sydney.

"Oh?" She said politely.

"Yeah, it's sort of a last-meal-as-a-free-man thing. After today, he's taking the next three weeks off. We've got our last tuxedo fitting tomorrow and then for the rest of the day up until the cocktail party, Alice has him playing chauffeur for all of her relatives that are flying in."

"Lucky him having to deal with airport traffic for an entire afternoon." Sydney commented neutrally.

"Mike originally didn't want to take any time off before the wedding because he's so swamped at work, but Alice threw a major hissy fit. She went on and on about how she didn't want him to be so obsessed about his job and how he should have been feeling more excited about the wedding and the fact that he would get to leave all of his work behind while they're away on their honeymoon." Will suddenly looked uncomfortable. Maybe he was being unintentionally cruel by telling Sydney all about Vaughn's wedding plans.

"Honeymoon." Sydney echoed, the word seeming to strike a chord with her. Hearing it actually said out loud made Vaughn's upcoming wedding seem more real to her than ever. "Do you know where they're going?" She asked, curious in spite of herself. During her years as Sydney Bristow, Superspy, she had been all over the world many times over, so no place on earth held any particular appeal to her. Paris, France or Paris, Texas, it was all the same to her. Still, it would be interesting to find out where Vaughn had chosen to take his bride.

It was true that Sydney had never let herself even imagine what it would be like to plan her own wedding. Picking out her china pattern. Choosing a wedding dress. Having her father walk her down the aisle. Thinking about those kinds of things could only lead to heartache if none of it ever came to pass.

But she'd be lying if she said she'd never given a second thought to her honeymoon. A honeymoon was different. The wedding was already over and the rest of it was all about basking in the fun and frivolity of being with the man she loved, in this case, Vaughn. For some reason, she always pictured them going away to someplace tropical and exotic, with white sand beaches and crystal-blue waters and private little coves that were just perfect for a newlywed couple to do a little…exploring.

"Syd?" Will's voice suddenly brought her out of her reverie. "Did you hear what I just said?"

Sydney blushed, partly at having been caught spacing out, but mostly because she had been picturing Vaughn in nothing but a pair of swim trunks and a smile. "I'm sorry, Will, what did you say?" She gave him what she hoped was an innocent look.

He looked at her strangely, but said nothing. "I was just telling you that Mike and Alice are going to Italy."

"Italy." She repeated slowly, her heart doing a little flip-flop. Maybe it was a bit foolish, but she had always considered Italy to be theirs. Breaking into the Vatican had been the first sign of just how far Vaughn was willing to go for her when they had worked together in order to clear her name in light of the Rambaldi Prophecy. And how could she forget that it was the first time he had ever asked her out? Would Vaughn take his new wife to Trattoria di Nardi? Of course he would. It was his favorite restaurant, after all. She suddenly felt depressed. 

"_She _wanted to go to Paris, but he said it would be like visiting his home and who wants to do that on your honeymoon?"

Sydney couldn't resist a smirk in spite of herself. "Paris is so trite and overdone, anyway." She said snarkily.

Will was at a loss for words at that one, so he let it pass. "Getting back to my original statement, since I'm going to be seeing Mike later on today, do you want me to keep quiet that you're here?"  

Sydney looked indecisive. "He's not likely to ask about me, so why should you bring it up?" She finally said.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Maybe to warn him?"

"Against me?" She arched an eyebrow. "Vaughn is in no danger from me."

"Well, I don't know about that." Will muttered.

*     *     *     *     *

After Will left for work, Sydney tidied up around the apartment before showering and getting dressed in jeans and a white henley-style tank top. She took a moment to check her phone messages at home (none from her father) and then headed out to Francie's restaurant.

When Sydney pulled open the front door to the restaurant, the first thing she noticed was that the artwork on the walls was different, in a more elegant and classier sort of way. She strolled casually into the dining room and saw that the table linens were now made of a heavier, more expensive fabric and the old, slightly outdated flatware had been replaced with a sleeker, more modern pattern. Then Sydney spied upon the recently renovated outdoor patio dining area with its romantic Spanish-style black wrought iron tables and chairs. It was obvious that Francie was doing quite well for herself. 

"Excuse me?" Sydney stopped one of the busboys who was busy setting up the tables for future patrons.

The clean-cut young man looked up at her. "Oh, I'm sorry, ma'am, but we're not open for lunch on Wednesdays." He said politely.

"That's okay, because I'm actually not here for lunch." She gave him a smile. "I was wondering if Francie was around."

"Is this a business matter?"

"No, actually, I'm an old friend." Sydney replied, wondering to herself if Francie would find fault with that statement.

"Well, hey, then she'll probably be glad to see you. She's in the kitchen." The busboy pointed towards the back of the restaurant and then resumed his duties.

Sydney wandered towards the kitchen and slipped through the swinging door marked "In." She spotted Francie standing next to a stainless steel counter, her head bent over to read a recipe while she whisked something yellow and frothy in a clear glass bowl.

"Francie?" Her voice was surprisingly loud and clear.

Francie's arm froze in mid-whip and she turned around with a stunned expression on her face. Sydney noticed that her hair was shorter than she remembered, but the style suited her, framing her face rather nicely.

"Sydney." Francie's intonation of Sydney's name was flat without a question at the end.

"I hope I'm not disturbing you." Sydney said hesitantly.

"No." Francie set down her bowl and wiped her hands on a dish towel. "I was just testing a frittata recipe for a catering job I'm doing." She appeared tense as well and had a problem figuring out what to do with her hands. "So when did you get back to town?"

"I drove in yesterday." Sydney took a tentative step towards her in an attempt to bridge the gap between them, both literally and figuratively. "I spent the night at Will's."

Francie nodded. "He didn't tell me you were coming." 

"He didn't know." She replied. "It was sort of a spur-of-the-moment thing."

"Oh." Francie nodded again. A long uncomfortable silence ensued.

"The restaurant looks great." Sydney finally said. "I love the new patio."

"It's been pretty popular so far." Francie gave a shrug. "People like doing the _al fresco _thing during summer."

"And I've heard that you're doing really well with the catering."

"Oh, well, that's still getting off the ground." She responded modestly. "I've mostly just been providing the food rather than doing any party planning."

"Well, I remember you saying that you felt like taking on a new challenge." Sydney said with an encouraging smile.

Francie's mouth quirked. "Yeah, I remember saying that, too. I was telling you that I was afraid I was getting into a rut at work and I asked you how you avoided that after working so many years at the bank." She gave Sydney a pointed look. "Do spies get into ruts?" Her question was edged with an uncharacteristic sharpness.

_Okay_, Sydney grimaced to herself. "I can't speak for anyone else, but I know that I never did. Every mission is different, so it's hard to feel as if you're doing the same thing over and over again." She purposely kept her tone even, not wanting to antagonize her friend. If Francie wanted to vent a little, Sydney would let her. She deserved the chance to speak her mind.

"Hmmm, I guess we should all be so lucky to have a career as stimulating as yours was." Her friend said with a touch of sarcasm in her voice. "Then again, now that I think of it, everyone did. You, Will, your father. Did your dad get a bonus at work for recruiting all these new employees to the company?"

"Francie, your beef isn't with my father." Sydney rebuked her mildly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to talk about the real reason why I'm here."

"Which is?"

"I came here to see if we could salvage what's left of our friendship."

"Is that what we had?" Francie questioned her. "A friendship? I don't think you even know what that word means." She said harshly.

"Francie, you're not being fair--"

"I tried to see you, you know." Francie cut her off. "When I first heard about the raid at the bank, I thought they had made a mistake. That they hadn't really meant to target Credit Dauphine."

"But when I got to the lock-up where they were holding you, some gargantuan guy in a dark suit told me that Agent Bristow was restricted from receiving any outside visitors." Francie looked at her, the hurt in her eyes apparent. "He called you 'Agent Bristow.' That when I knew it wasn't a mistake."

"No, it wasn't." Sydney said quietly. "Credit Dauphine was a front company for SD-6. It was a real bank only in the sense that it laundered the money that funded SD-6."

"So you never worked for a bank."

She shook her head. "When I was recruited to SD-6, they told me I fit a profile. They told me I would be serving my country by ridding the world of evil." Sydney let out a sarcastic laugh. "And me being as gullible and idealistic as I was, I believed them."

"For the first seven years, I thought I was working for the good guys. They told me SD-6 was a black ops division of the CIA, where we didn't have to go through all of the proper channels in order to get things done."

"I enjoyed doing what I did, Francie." Sydney gave her an imploring look. "I was good at it and it made me feel as if I was doing something that mattered."

"It's not your fault that they fooled you, Sydney." Francie suddenly interrupted. "You were just a kid, wanting to fight for truth, justice and the American way. You had no reason to suspect that you were just being manipulated by people who got off on pulling your strings." Sydney was surprised and moved that Francie would speak up to defend her actions.

"That Arvin Sloane. Was he as bad as they made him out to be?" Francie asked.

"He was worse." Sydney looked grim. "He was guilty of all the crimes for which they had accused him and so many more that they didn't." She was still bitter about the fact that Sloane had never been charged with Danny's murder. No evidence, no paper trail, no Shepard to be found. The federal prosecutors would never have been able to make the charges stick, so they chose to just drop the matter entirely.

"Are you talking about what he did to Danny?"

Sydney looked up. "You know what he did to Danny?"

Francie nodded. "Will told me that Sloane had him killed when you told him about SD-6."

"My greatest mistake." Sydney looked despondent. "That's when I found out the truth about SD-6." She gave Francie an anxious glance. "You believe that, don't you, Francie?"

"Of course, Syd." Francie replied. "It never once crossed my mind that you would willingly choose to be a traitor to your country."

"When I found out about SD-6, that's when I went to the CIA. My only objective was to destroy SD-6 like they had destroyed me."

"And that's what you were doing the last five years."

Sydney nodded. "With a lot of help."

Francie had a pensive look on her face. "All that time we lived together and I never even had an inkling that you were anything other than what you proclaimed to be." She gave a short laugh. "I do remember thinking it strange that you used to go on so many business trips, though. I mean, does _anybody_ travel that much?"

"Spies, yes. Bankers, no." Sydney shook her head. "And don't beat yourself up about not knowing. For years, I thought my father sold airplane parts."

"Well, it's nice to know that I'm not the only clueless one around here." Francie deadpanned and then sobered. "You know, I can reconcile with the fact that you were a spy. That part is actually kind of cool."

"But the thing that really gets to me is that you had to lie about it. Even to me." She looked miffed. "I mean, everyone else knew about it. Why couldn't I?" Perhaps a grown woman like herself should not have been whining like a two-year-old who didn't get her way, but it still hurt to feel left out, at any age.

"Francie, I know it might have seemed as if everybody knew, but I tried so hard to keep it a secret." Sydney gave her a sympathetic look. "It was for your own protection, not because I was trying to exclude you from knowing about such an important aspect of my life."

"Yeah, I know that now." Francie conceded. "After you left town, Will told me how conflicted you always were about the lying and the deception."

"In my head, I know I shouldn't have been hurt. You weren't trying to be mean or vindictive by keeping me in the dark about what you were really doing." Francie looked at Sydney. "But in my heart, I felt so out of the loop. Like I wasn't trustworthy enough to be let in on the big secret."

"No, Francie." Sydney took her friend's hands in her own. "I mean, Will only found out because he kept digging into Danny's death and in the end, it cost him a lot. He had to give up a career that he loved and he was forced to endure the public humiliation over that phony drug bust. Trust me when I say it was better for you that you didn't know."

Francie nodded. "You know, ever since Will told me about everything you went through during the last five years, I've wanted so much to apologize for the childish way in which I behaved after I found out about your secret life." She gave Sydney an embarrassed look. "I bet all of your high schoolers act more maturely than I did."

"Ha, you would be surprised." Sydney grinned.

Francie's mouth curved into a smile. "It took a lot of guts to come see me this morning, Syd." She looked impressed. "But then I guess that's what you're all about, huh?"

It lifted Sydney's heart to see the twinkle in Francie's eye. "For awhile, I wasn't so sure." She admitted. "But now I'm hoping that I have the strength to summon up the courage I used to have."

For a few moments, the two friends just looked at each other. In the next instant, they were hugging and the tears were flowing freely.

After awhile, they managed to collect themselves to the point where the tears stopped and the smiles remained. Francie whipped up some omelets and the two of them sat down to an early lunch.

"So what's with all the food?" Sydney gestured towards the multitude of ingredients that were laid out on the stainless steel countertops.  
  


"Oh, it's for a catering job this weekend." Francie waved her hand. "A big society wedding."

Right. Vaughn's wedding. How could she forget? Sydney wondered about the possibility that Francie might have sent her the fake wedding invitation. But Francie didn't know about her feelings for Vaughn, did she? She couldn't, not unless Will had blabbed to her about it.

"Oh, really?" Sydney murmured noncommittally.

"Yeah, it's for one of Will's friends, actually. They work together at the Agency." She shot Sydney a grin. "You know, I still can't get used to the idea of Will working for the CIA. You, I have no problem with, but I just can't picture it with him."

"I'll have you know that he's surprisingly good at his job." Sydney informed her. "Who would've thought?"

"So anyway, that's the reason for all the food. In addition to the wedding reception, I'm also doing a cocktail party tomorrow night, a barbecue on Friday and the rehearsal dinner." Francie looked pleased. "We're talking five figures, Syd."

"Wow, I'm impressed."

Francie grinned. "Yep, it's one of my biggest jobs to date and I owe it all to the blushing bridegroom."

Sydney did a slight double-take. "What do you mean by that?"

"Oh, well, he's the one who recommended me for the job." She explained. "Will introduced us awhile back and it was amazing how quickly we connected. Sometimes I get the feeling he knew me in a past life or something."

Sydney hid a grin. Obviously, Vaughn _had_ been listening to her during all those times Francie had come up in their conversations. Sometimes they'd be waiting for their plane to refuel or for their transport to arrive and she'd remember some funny little anecdote that she couldn't resist sharing with him. It was those kinds of moments that made her feel closest to him. For the briefest of instants, she could pretend that they weren't on some life-or-death mission, but just two friends telling each other about the everyday occurrences in their lives.

"--really great guy in addition to being majorly hot." Sydney tuned back into the conversation just in time to see Francie screw up her face into a wry grimace. "Too bad he's off the market."

_Majorly hot, huh? Now whom did she know who fit that description_? "What's his name?" Sydney asked casually. "Maybe I know him."

"Oh, you probably do, considering that you were CIA and he still is." Francie nodded. "His name's Mike."

"Mike." She wrapped her lips around the unfamiliar name. She could never call him "Mike." That just wasn't how she saw him. "Are we talking about Michael Vaughn?" She asked tentatively.

"So you do know him!" Francie looked up and caught the crestfallen expression on Sydney's face right before it disappeared. "Syd, what's the matter?"

"It's nothing, don't worry about it." She said hastily. God, could things get any worse? Not only was one of her best friends in the world an usher in Vaughn's wedding party, but her _other _best friend was catering the blasted affair! What more did Alice want to take from her? She already had Will, Francie _and_ Vaughn. Did she want to borrow Jack, too, so that she would have someone to walk her down the aisle?

"Oh, my God!" Francie suddenly gasped. "Mike is the guy, isn't he?"  
  
"The guy?" Sydney repeated blankly. "What guy?"

"Sydney," Francie rolled her eyes. "I know I was a total ditz when it came to ferreting out your real occupation, but give me some credit in figuring out your personal relationships or lack thereof."

"The last three years we lived together, you didn't go out on a single date. I knew it couldn't have been from a lack of invites, so I was positive that it had to be your decision."

"Well, for the most part, yes." Sydney admitted. Not that she hadn't had opportunities in the last three years she had worked as a spy to go out on a date like a normal person, but she could never bring herself to do it. She and Vaughn had a sort of agreement, whether they acknowledged it or not, and she didn't want to be the one to betray it. 

"For awhile, I thought he was some married guy who worked at the bank, but I knew you wouldn't be stupid enough to get involved with a married man." Francie said distastefully.

"I should say not."

"So then I moved on to the scenario that you were in love with a guy who didn't know you existed. You know, the whole unrequited love bit?"

"That sounds so high school, Francie." Sydney stood up and went over to the coffee machine to refill her cup. "What's the big deal about my love life, anyway? In case you don't remember, I did have other things on my mind. You know, like saving the world from power-hungry despots?" She reminded her friend.

"Oh, come on, Syd, even spies need a little romance in their lives." Francie teased her. "James Bond is a spy. Tell me you met someone as fine as Pierce Brosnan." 

"Noah was also a spy." Sydney said matter-of-factly. "Does that tell you anything about the dating pool?" She arched an eyebrow.

Francie made a face. "Well, that's because he was one of the bad guys. Mike isn't."

Sydney let out a sigh. What was the point in denying it any longer? Vaughn _was_ the whole reason she was here, wasn't he?

"Who was he to you, Syd?" Francie asked softly.

Sydney looked at her friend for a long moment. She had known that Francie was a longshot for being the culprit behind the phony wedding invitation and it was never more apparent than after hearing that question fall from her lips. If Francie had to ask what Vaughn meant to her, then she couldn't have predicted that Sydney would rush back to L.A. the moment she found about Vaughn's wedding.  

"Vaughn was my CIA case handler." She finally confessed. "He and I would meet in secret to discuss my counter-missions against SD-6."

"Oooh, secret meetings!" Francie squealed. "I know you probably couldn't be seen together, so where did you meet? Did you have to drive fifty miles into the desert or go up in a hot air balloon or shack up in some sleazy motel with a vibrating bed?" She asked eagerly.

"Francie!" Sydney tried to look appalled but laughed instead. "We weren't having some cheap, illicit affair! It was always very professional and businesslike."

"Business mixed with pleasure, obviously." Francie said perceptively. "You were in love with him, weren't you?"

Sydney gave a reluctant nod. "He was just always _there_ for me, Francie. I trusted him completely and I was able to be totally honest with him." She met her friend's sympathetic gaze. "You don't know what a big deal that was to me especially when I had to spend the rest of my days lying to you and everyone else."

"A guy who gives you unconditional support and understanding while still managing to be incredibly easy on the eyes?" Francie's mouth curved into a grin. "What's not to love?"

Sydney smiled. "It didn't happen right away, but when it did, it hit hard and I haven't been able to shake it in all these years."

"Why would you want to?" She quipped and then her expression turned serious. "Sydney, you have to do something." Francie said with a determined look in her eye.

"Francie, he's getting married in three days!" Sydney said in a half-hearted protest. "Or have you forgotten you're catering his wedding?"

"Oh, who cares, I already have her deposit!" Francie waved her hand carelessly. "This is more important, anyway. Mike's an absolute doll, but snooty Miss Alice is a royal pain in the--"

_Another rider on the I-hate-Alice bandwagon_? "You don't like her, either?" Sydney interrupted, unable to keep the glee out of her voice.

"Alice had 'reservations' about my ability to cater the wedding because she was concerned about my 'lack of experience,' as she put it." Francie looked piqued at having to do the double quotation marks with her fingers twice in one sentence. "Uh, hello, I've had my own restaurant going on five years now and I've been catering for the last year."

"Of course, if you're not some trendy boutique café, you're not considered good enough for her refined palate." Francie sniffed.

Sydney had a smug look on her face upon receiving the validation that Alice was indeed the snob Sydney had figured her to be. "So if she was so unenthusiastic about hiring you, how did you wind up getting the job?"

Francie grinned broadly. "The caterer she originally hired was closed down for health code violations." She looked downright joyful at the thought of Alice being screwed. "Rat feces, cockroaches. It was all very disgusting, but suffice it to say that Alice could no longer engage the woman's services for her self-proclaimed dream wedding."

"By that time, it was too late to book another one of her high society caterers, so I sort of got the job by default because I was available and because Mike vouched for me." Sydney had to smile at that. Vaughn was always loyal to his friends.

"Of course, had I known how difficult she was going to be, I definitely would have told her to take a flying leap off a very short pier rather than have to deal with her for one more second." Francie made a face. "She's changed the menu on me three times! I'm about ready to have a heart attack every time I see her number on the Caller ID."

"So why don't you tell her to take a hike?" _That would be a good reason to postpone the wedding, wouldn't it_? _Can't have a wedding without food_.

"Well, it's partly because I can make really good contacts at all the events we're doing for her." Francie admitted. "But mostly it's because of Mike. He's a nice guy and I don't want to let him down."

"I'm glad you like him." Sydney was smiling, but her eyes were sad. "I used to wonder how the two of you would hit it off. It was one of my little fantasies that there would come a day when I could bring him by the apartment to meet you without fear of our getting shot as we walked through the front door." She looked rueful.

Francie experienced a wave of compassion for her friend. "Was he in love with you, Syd?"

Sydney hesitated before replying. "We never said those exact words to each other, but I like to think we both knew the feelings were there."

"I'm sorry you never got the chance to tell him how you felt." Francie said in a quiet voice. "You could have saved him from that she-devil."

"Wow, you really don't like her." That was saying a lot because Francie liked practically everyone. "What is it about her that pushes your buttons?" Sydney asked curiously. She had already heard Will's reasons, but now she was interested in a woman's point of view.

Francie let out a sigh. "Did Mike ever tell you about her?"

"Bits and pieces." Sydney shrugged. "Nothing specific."

"Well, to tell you truth, I don't know that much about their history together, either. Just some stuff that Will has told me." Her friend said. "I do know they used to date a few years ago, but they were broken up for quite awhile before they got back together."

"It was more than a few years ago." Sydney said absently. "It was closer to five."

"You know when they broke up?" Francie raised an inquiring eyebrow. "Did Mike discuss his personal life with you during your 'business' meetings?"

Sydney blushed. "To be honest, I was the one who did most of the talking. He was the one who always listened to me."

"But there were times when he would open up to me." She let a smile play about her lips. "The reason I know when they broke up is because he told me when it happened. Two months after he became my handler, they stopped seeing each other."

Francie's eyes got wide. "Because of you, right?" She cried out. "Oh, Syd, is that why you're here? To get him back?"

A pained look spread across Sydney's face. "Francie, I don't want to cause trouble for him if he's happy. It'll kill me to see him marry someone else, but I'll live with it if it's what he truly wants."

"But Alice can't be what he wants! Not if he was ever in love with you!" Francie said insistently. "You and she are like total opposites of each other! She's like the poster child for 'high-maintenance woman' and you are so…not!"

Sydney smiled. "He used to have a picture of her in his office." She looked thoughtful. "They were smiling and they looked happy." 

"Everybody smiles in photographs, Sydney."

"Maybe he just wants to recapture whatever he had with her." She gave a helpless shrug. "I can't blame him. She's beautiful and she takes care of him and his life is probably much simpler than it ever would have been with me."

"He's taking the easy way out." Francie said adamantly. "I will grant you that she is blonde and gorgeous with more money than she'll ever know what to do with."

"But, Syd, she's just not right for him. Even I can see it and I haven't known him as long as you have." Her eyes looked troubled. "She's so fussy and pretentious and needy. He always has to be at her beck and call whenever they go out and he goes along with whatever she says."

Sydney frowned. "I can't believe that. The Vaughn I remember was always so…outspoken and independent. He used to take a lot of flak for helping me whenever I wanted to do something the higher-ups wouldn't approve of."

"Well, if she's changed him that much, then maybe he should think again if it's in his best interests to be with her." Francie said pointedly. "Do you know that when we all got together to decide on the menu for the reception that he barely said a word? He just sat back and let her make all the decisions. She never even consulted him on anything!"

"Maybe he just wants her to take charge of his life." Sydney suggested weakly. 

"Why? So that he doesn't have to think for himself?" Francie countered. "Why would he want to be led around by a ring through his nose for the rest of his life?"

Sydney couldn't think of an answer to that one. "You know, the one thing you're forgetting here is that _Vaughn_ was the one who made the decision to propose marriage to her. He wouldn't have done that if he didn't have real feelings for her."

"Knowing Alice, she probably _told _him how he felt." Francie sneered. "I can totally believe that she orchestrated the entire marriage proposal, right down to telling him where to buy her ring."

"You're not being fair, Francie. We don't know what's going on in their relationship."

"You don't have to be a fly on the wall in their bedroom to know exactly how it's going to be for Mike." She retorted.

Sydney didn't like hearing that. "You know, Will invited me to be his guest at the cocktail reception tomorrow night. He wanted me to see for myself how Vaughn is with her."

"I think that would be a good idea." Francie's eyes gleamed. "Then you could see just how much he needs to be saved."

Sydney gave her a heartbreaking look. "He can only be saved if he wants to be."

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: To anyone expecting Sydney and Vaughn to meet up in this chapter, I hope you're not disappointed that it was mostly about Francie. I always intended for Francie to have her own moment in the sun (probably because she does so little on the show) and it was not an attempt to drag out the wait for S/V to see each other again. I just wanted to use Francie for the female perspective on Vaughn's and Alice's relationship as well as to give Sydney more validation that she's doing the right thing in trying to stop the wedding.  Most of all, I just wanted Sydney and Francie to make up, so that their storyline would be resolved.

Oh, yeah, and Vaughn is scheduled to make his first appearance in the next chapter.

Thanks for keeping up with the story and please review if you feel like it!

See ya later!


	6. A Chilly Reception

**Author's Note**: I've modified the character of Alice to how I always pictured her, not how she appeared on the show.  (In my opinion, she just wasn't pretty enough for the likes of Vaughn. I guess that makes me a lot shallower than he is, but then again, _he's_ perfect! (grin))

Thank you all so much for your feedback!  You guys rock!

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As Sydney put the finishing touches on her makeup the next evening, she felt extremely satisfied that she had made the right decision with her outfit. Since she would be seeing Vaughn for the first time in almost a year, she had gone shopping that afternoon wanting something decidedly alluring without being provocatively so. She wasn't looking to play Sydney the Seductress, after all, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't want him to notice her.

She felt she had achieved just the right balance between tasteful and tempting. Her new little black halter dress with a sexy lace up-style back skimmed her figure as if it had been made for her, showing off her shimmery bare shoulders and her long tanned legs. Her jewelry was minimal but classic. A diamond solitaire lay nestled at the base of her throat, suspended by a fine gold chain. She also wore matching earrings, which would be plainly seen as she was wearing her hair swept away from her face, twisted very loosely and gathered at the nape of her neck by a simple black lacquer barrette. Her makeup was smoky and dramatic, highlighting her big brown eyes and full lips.

"Wow!" Will came into the bathroom and whistled when he saw her. "Someone is certainly pulling out all of the stops tonight!"

"Do you think it's too much?" Sydney looked alarmed.

"Relax, Syd, I'm not saying that you look desperate." Will gave her an impish grin. "Just hot."

"Oh." She said meekly, looking a little embarrassed. She met Will's eyes in the mirror as he combed his hair. "Are you sure I'm doing the right thing by going with you tonight?"

"Well, I think it's right for you." He replied, setting his comb down on the side of the sink. "I don't know what Mike and Alice are going to think."

"I'll be lucky if he doesn't want to throw me overboard into the marina." Sydney said pessimistically.

Will shot her a sympathetic glance as he fiddled with his tie. "Look, Syd, if Mike is truly committed to Alice, then it shouldn't matter to him whether you're there or not." He let out a frustrated groan as his tie came out crooked and he had to start over. When he'd been a reporter, his ties were _expected_ to look rumpled, so he'd never bothered to learn how to tie them to look neater. "But if seeing you causes him to have some doubts, then maybe he'll step back and figure out if marrying Alice is really what he--damn it!" He cursed, undoing his tie again.

"Here, let me do it." Sydney turned around to face him.

"Thanks." Will said gratefully, giving her an appreciative look. "Hey, I've been meaning to ask you something. Does Alice know about you?"

"I don't know if he ever mentioned me to her." Sydney shook her head. "They broke up shortly after we met and at the time, I didn't think I had anything to do with it, but now I don't know. Vaughn's so unrelentingly honest he might have told her that he had developed feelings for another woman, but maybe that's just wishful thinking on my part that he loved me even back then."

"Well, I guess you'll find out when she hears your name." Will cackled gleefully.

Sydney gave him a disapproving look. "You are enjoying this way too much."

"Only because I love a good catfight, Syd." He said affectionately. "And because I know I can always count on you to come out victorious."

"I wish I had your same confidence." She said glumly.

"Don't be so negative." Will tried to cheer her up. "For all you know, Mike's just looking for a reason to stop this runaway train he's trapped on."

"That very well could be," Sydney said, thinking about her mysterious wedding invitation. "I'm just not sure I'm the person he'd like to see jump in front of the train."

"His preferred scenario would probably have me chained to the train tracks with a locomotive bearing down on me full speed ahead." She added ominously, giving Will's tie a final straightening. "I'm sure he thinks I deserve that."

"Oooh, chains. Kinky, Syd." Will deadpanned and she playfully punched him in the arm.

As befitting its name, the Haviland Bay Yacht Club was located at a nearby marina. During the drive over, Will warned Sydney of what to expect.

"It's pretty much what the name sounds like." His mouth quirked. "All of its members are of the blue-blooded sort with too much money to spend and too much time on their hands. They go sailing every weekend and think nothing about knocking back a few vodka martinis while the underpaid deckhands work their tails off to keep the tub afloat."

"If memory serves, you will no doubt meet a Muffy and a Bunny and maybe even a Kiki, if you are so unfortunate." Sydney grinned at Will's disdainful tone. "There will also be quite a few blue blazers about with these godawful embroidered insignias on their breast pockets."

"Should I even ask what they stand for?" She inquired amusedly.

"Not if you don't want to be bored to death." Will shuddered.

Sydney let out a laugh. "How do you know so much about these people? Running around with a different crowd these days?" She teased him.

"You can blame that on Mike." He shot her a grimace. "He's always inviting me to Alice's parties. There was the pre-holiday party last year and then the New Year's party this year and of course, the big engagement party with three hundred of Alice's closest friends." He rolled his eyes satirically.

"Maybe he sees you as a familiar port in a storm." She said quietly. It made her feel warm inside that Vaughn thought of Will as a friend upon whom he could lean. For all that she had taken from him, maybe she had given him something as well.

"Yeah, well, I figure it's the least I could do." Will said modestly. "The guy did help you save my life, once upon a time." 

"It's not just gratitude, is it, Will?" She looked sideways at him. "I mean, you do consider him a true friend, don't you?"

"Yeah, Syd." There was a firm note in his voice. "He _is_ a friend and that's why I want what's best for him. I feel the same way about you." He reached out with his free hand and grasped hers tightly. Sydney smiled at him as she squeezed his hand.

Will turned into the marina parking lot and took a few minutes to find an empty space. As he came around the car to help Sydney out, a cool sea breeze gently caressed her bare skin as she alighted from the car. She pulled her silky wrap around her shoulders and took Will's arm. She was wearing a new pair of three-inch strappy high heels and if she tripped, she wanted someone to be able to catch her before she fell. 

"So am I going to know anyone else besides you at this party?" Sydney asked Will.

"Well, Francie's going to be here to supervise the catering." He volunteered.

"Yeah, but she's going to be working. Alice won't want her chit-chatting with me."

"True." Will conceded. "Actually, from what Mike said, this party is mostly for Alice's wedding guests. They're not all here yet, but the ones who are needed a place to eat, drink and be merry for the night, right?"

"Oh, so she's just trying to keep them occupied." Sydney remarked.

"Plus it's an excuse to have a party." He smirked. "Oh, hey, I'm forgetting about Eric! I know he'll be tickled to death to see you."

Sydney's face curved into a smile. It would be good to see Weiss again. She had missed the quirky and sarcastic banter that had developed between them in the last few years. 

They came upon the entrance of the yacht club. It was a two-story affair with several private dining rooms as well as a formal banquet hall upstairs.  There were kitchens on both floors to aid in the preparation of meals or in Francie's case, to help her warm up her hot hors d'oeuvres and to keep her cold ones chilled.

Alice's party was being held downstairs in the Main Hall. The décor was heavily into the nautical theme, of course, with lots of white and navy blue with brass accents. A huge stone fireplace dominated the center wall, its mantelpiece littered with small antique-looking brass lanterns from long ago. There were a number of colorful banners on the walls highlighting the various yachting trophies the club had won along with a few awards and citations. The artwork was predictable, the whitewashed walls serving as the backdrop for a variety of oil paintings depicting sleek and majestic sailing vessels, their white sails full and billowy as they skimmed across the high seas.

A handsome walnut bar with a brass railing was located against one wall and the buffet station was set up next to it. After securing food and drink, the guests could adjourn to one of the tables outside on the wraparound deck, which could be accessed by a set of double French doors on three sides of the room. If it was too cold to sit outside, there was plenty of comfortable seating placed in conversational groupings all about the room.

As Sydney made her approach towards the Main Hall, she could see that there was already quite a multitude of people milling about inside. The butterflies began to do their thing in her stomach as she realized Vaughn was probably in very close proximity to her.

There was a reception line at the door. Sydney and Will had to wait as each guest was personally greeted by their host and hostess. Sydney was afraid she was going to hyperventilate before she could even get inside.

"Jesus, Syd, your hand is like ice!" Will whispered in her ear.

"I can't help it." She shook her head. "What if he looks at me and there's nothing there, Will?"

"That's an impossibility." He told her. "If he's not happy, he'll be angry. He won't be a blank slate."

"Oh, that makes me feel a lot better." She muttered under her breath.

They finally reached the point to where there was only one couple left in front of them. Sydney was able to get her first face-to-face look at the woman Vaughn was planning to marry.

Oddly enough, the first thing she noticed was that Alice was several inches shorter than her. They were both wearing high heels, but Sydney suddenly felt like an Amazon. _Vaughn probably has to stoop over whenever he wants to kiss her and why did I suddenly cause that picture to pop into my head_? She silently berated herself.

Alice was wearing a strapless ice blue satin dress, the hemline brushing just above her knees. Her professionally highlighted blonde hair was pulled back from her face and twisted into an elegant chignon, which was held in place by a bejeweled clip. Prominent cheekbones and a pair of cerulean blue eyes made her pretty features stand out, but at the same time, there was a certain hardness to her looks that was a bit disconcerting. A glittery diamond necklace encircling her long, slender neck only served to intensify the whole Ice Queen image Alice seemed to give off.

Sydney couldn't help but notice the ring on Alice's left hand, especially when the light hit it just so. Not that she was an expert on Vaughn's taste in jewelry, but it just didn't look like something he would have chosen. The large emerald-cut diamond was almost too big for Alice's slender hand and looked slightly gaudy somehow, as if it were all for show and not for sentiment. She made a mental note to ask Will about it later.

"Will! How nice to see you!" Alice greeted him prettily, allowing him to kiss her cheek while being careful not to muss her makeup. Up close, there was no denying that Alice was very attractive, but it was in a made-up sort of way. Her foundation flawlessly matched her skin tone, her eyeliner was skillfully applied and her lips were pink and rosy, but the combination of all that perfection made her come across as rather artificial. Makeup was supposed to enhance a woman's looks, not act as complete cover-up. Sydney pictured her as the type who would never let her husband see her without mascara and blush, not even at night when they went to bed.

"Good evening, Alice." Will said amiably. "Where's Mike?" With a start, Sydney realized that she had been staring at Alice so intently that she hadn't even noticed Vaughn was nowhere to be seen.

"Fetching my wrap from the car." She replied. "It's so chilly out here on the water." Alice suddenly directed an inquiring look at Sydney, who stood there rather pointedly as Alice gave her the onceover from head to toe. _Yeah, that's right, Blondie, don't mess with me_.

"Will, I didn't know you were dating so soon after Sam." _Sam_. As if she and Will were such good friends that she could call his ex-girlfriend by a nickname Sydney knew for a fact that she hated. There was a reason Alice was trying to taunt her.Hate at first sight, maybe?

"Oh, this isn't a date." Will shook his head. "This is my good friend, Sydney Bristow. Syd, this is Alice Fairchild, the blushing bride."

"Sydney." Alice uttered her name as a statement of fact, her eyes narrowing and her lips pursing. Sydney realized in that instant that Alice knew exactly who she was. "It's so nice to finally meet you." Her hostess managed to spit out in an entirely insincere manner.

"Does my reputation precede me?" Sydney quipped and Will grinned. "I'm very pleased to meet you, Alice. Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials."

"Thank you." Her icy blue eyes shot a few daggers at Will before returning to focus on her. "I was under the impression that you no longer lived in the area. Are you just passing through town?"

"Actually, I'm here for a little impromptu visit and Will was kind enough to invite me to stay for the entire weekend." Sydney said pleasantly, pretending not to see the ticked-off look slowly spreading across Alice's face. "Will's told me all about the festivities you have planned to celebrate your wedding. It's quite a lot to have on your plate."

"Yes, well, all of the parties are just to keep my guests happy and occupied." Alice said offhandedly. "Rest assured that I haven't lost sight of the fact that the main event is, of course, my wedding." Will could tell Alice was frantically trying to figure out if she could tactfully exclude one of her fiancé's groomsmen from the remainder of the pre-wedding events she had scheduled. Just the thought that she might be scrambling tickled him to death. "Are you planning to attend the wedding as Will's guest?" Her smile was most disingenuous.

"I don't know yet." Sydney replied demurely, tiring of the woman's fake sincerity. "Will, my throat's a bit parched. Let's get something to drink, shall we?" She turned back to Alice. "We'll see you later, Alice." Sydney took hold of Will's arm and led him inside towards the bar.

Will threw a glance over his shoulder as they were walking away. He noted with some amusement that Alice looked torn between wanting to remain a good hostess or hightailing after Vaughn to warn him of Sydney's presence.

"God, I felt as if her eyes were boring a hole through my forehead." Sydney muttered as they reached the bar. "A Cosmopolitan, please." She smiled at the bartender, who smiled back.

"Well, she did just come face-to-face with the competition." Will chuckled as he asked for a beer.

"Stop that." Sydney scolded him. "Francie was right about her not being Vaughn's type, though. She's too…polished, as if she's hiding behind some fake veneer to mask how she's really feeling."

"As opposed to you, the girl who wears her heart on her sleeve." Will teased.

"Didn't I just tell you to cut it out?" She elbowed him before taking a sip of her drink. "I may have been out of the spy business for a year now, but I can still kick your ass."

"Yeah, I had ample proof of that when you tackled me in my apartment the other day." He rubbed his stomach and winced. Sydney grinned in response.

"Hey, Syd! Will!" Someone was calling to them. They looked around and saw Francie beckoning to them as she stood off to the side of the buffet tables. She was currently supervising the refilling of the cold platters.

"Francie!" Sydney hugged her. "The food looks fantastic!"

"Thanks." She smiled gratefully. "Hopefully it will please Her Royal Highness." She rolled her eyes.

Francie leaned in close to her. "I'm so glad you decided to show up." She lowered her voice conspiratorially. "Have you seen Mike yet?"

"No." Sydney said nervously

Will popped a stuffed mushroom into his mouth. "Excellent, Francie." 

Sydney and Francie exchanged grins. "Well, he'll probably be back soon or else Alice will send Will out as a search party." Francie snickered.

"Yeah, heaven forbid the guy should spend two seconds out of her sight." Will munched on a crab cake.

"You guys are so scaring me about her." Sydney shook her head.

"And the worst part is that we're not exaggerating." Francie said soberly. Suddenly a sparkle appeared in her eyes. "Oh, God, Syd, I have to tell you what happened earlier when I arrived to set up."

"What is it?"

"Well, I got here early with my crew and while we were bringing in some of the food, Mike and Alice arrived and he offered to help me bring in some of the trays."

"He's a nice guy." Sydney said approvingly.

"I know, I know, but that's not what I'm talking about." Francie gave an impatient wave of her hand. "The thing I wanted to tell you is that knowing what I know now about the man, he's like ten times hotter than I originally thought he was." She said with an impish grin. "I could barely keep it together when I was around him."

"Francie!" Sydney blushed embarrassedly.

"I'm serious. When I think about all those late-night clandestine meetings you used to have with your 'handler.'" She said suggestively.

"It was never like that." Sydney said laughingly.

"But you wanted it to be!" Francie singsonged.

While Sydney and Francie were talking, Will was appropriated by one of Alice's bridesmaids, a pretty redhead who couldn't resist the opportunity to do a little flirting with the good-looking young CIA agent. As he was being led away, he shot Sydney a look vaguely akin to a lamb being led away for slaughter, but she just smiled and waved at him.

"Rather forward of her, don't you think, considering that you and Will arrived together." Francie observed with a curled lip. "Do you think it even crossed her mind that you could be his girlfriend?"

"Will and I have been friends for too long to ever give off that kind of vibe." Sydney said amusedly. "It's funny how total strangers can see it, but people who know us are blind to it."

"Are we talking about a certain person in particular?" Francie raised an eyebrow.

Sydney looked at her and felt her face flush. "Vaughn. For some reason, he always had it in his head that Will and I might be more than what we appear to be."

"Did he ever actually tell you that he was jealous of Will?"

"No, that would have been a break in protocol." She shook her head. "It was just more of a feeling I would get whenever I would mention that Will and I went to the movies or out to dinner or just stayed at home to play Monopoly. Vaughn would get this regretful look on his face as if he wished he could be in Will's place."

Francie looked sympathetic. "It must have been really tough on him, wanting so much to be a part of your normal, everyday life and knowing that it was impossible." 

"Yeah." Sydney said softly. All of a sudden, her senses started tingling. Her pulse began to race, her mouth went dry and every nerve ending in her body felt as if it were on fire. Vaughn was here. She could _feel_ him.

At the same time, Francie's eyes had spotted what Sydney already knew. "Uh, Syd?"

Sydney met her gaze. "I know, Francie." She whispered. She said one silent prayer and then slowly turned around.

It was Vaughn, as she had known it would be. He had returned with Alice's pale blue cashmere pashmina in hand and Sydney watched with her heart in her throat as he tenderly placed the shawl about Alice's shoulders. A spasm of jealousy caused her eyes to narrow and then she felt a dull ache begin to spread in the pit of her stomach.

He hadn't changed much, except for maybe a tiredness around his eyes. His smile was still powerful enough to make her go weak in the knees and his beautiful eyes had never looked so green. His sandy brown hair appeared a tad longer than she remembered and it caused her to wonder if he still hadn't found anyone to replace his longtime barber. 

Vaughn had told her the story some time last year, shortly before the SD-6 takedown happened. The barber he had been going to for years had recently retired and he had been having a devil of a time trying to find someone new to cut his hair. She had recommended the hair salon that she frequented and Vaughn had actually blushed, saying that he wasn't a trendy hair salon kind of guy.  

"Not manly enough for you?" Sydney teased him.

His face turned redder. "I would just feel uncomfortable. I already have a thing about cutting my hair and it would just make it worse having to get used to a new…environment."

"You have a _thing_ about cutting your hair?" She was barely able to hide her smile.

"It happened when I was a kid." He finally confessed after he realized she wouldn't drop it. "Whenever I needed to get a haircut, my dad would take me to the barber shop he went to and we'd both get our hair cut together and then he'd take me out for ice cream afterwards." Sydney smiled at Vaughn's childhood memory. "It was one of the 'guy' things we did together."

"Well, this one time, he was away on assignment and class pictures were coming up soon, so my mom said I needed to get my hair cut." The expression on Vaughn's face turned slightly embarrassed. "She offered to take me to the barber herself since my dad couldn't do it, but I refused. I don't quite remember how I acted, but she says I was really adamant about it."

"What is it about guys and their macho pride?" Sydney mused.

"Hey, I was just a kid and I thought I'd lose face in front of the other guys at the barber shop if my mommy hovered over me while the barber cut my hair." Vaughn said defensively. "Of course, as it turned out, the alternative was no less humiliating." His face turned red again. "Since I wouldn't go to the barber, my mom made me go to her hairdresser." He mumbled.

"Oh, no!" Sydney's eyes danced merrily.

"To make a long story short, my mom ended up with two 8x10's, one 5x7 and several wallet-sized photographs of me with my hair sticking straight up in the air like porcupine quills." The grimace on Vaughn's face made Sydney laugh out loud. "I still cringe every time I see those pictures."

"Oh, Vaughn!" She giggled uncontrollably. "Is there any way I could see those photos?"

"Maybe when hell freezes over." He deadpanned.

"Oh, come on!" She said cajolingly. "I bet you looked adorable."

Their gazes had locked just then and a crackling electricity filled the room as it so often did when they were alone. They'd had many of those "Kiss me, damn it!" moments over the years, but the only time they'd had the guts to act upon it had been that one night in Cairo. In every other instance, they would either get interrupted by someone with incredibly bad timing or one of them would invariably look away. It was Vaughn's turn to break the spell this time, which he did a few seconds later. Sydney never did get a look at the photographs.

Tonight, Vaughn was wearing a dark suit with a royal blue shirt and a dark tie, a color combination in which he always looked exceedingly handsome. The expertly cut suit hung off his lean frame quite nicely and she could tell he was still working out even though he was no longer a field op.

Vaughn was bending his head down to hear what Alice was saying to him, his sensual lips curving into a smile as she whispered her thanks in his ear. Sydney couldn't bear to watch them any longer and exited through one of the French doors that led outside onto the deck. In doing so, she missed seeing Will (who had since shed his coquettish companion) pull Vaughn away from Alice's grasp. 

"Hey, Will, what's the big idea?" Vaughn asked as Will dragged him over to the bar. They took a moment to order their drinks.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Will feigned a blank look while doing a surreptitious glance of his immediate surroundings. _Where in the hell was Syd_?

"Alice was just about to tell me something when you grabbed my arm and pulled me over here." Vaughn said to him.

"Oh, she probably just wanted to tell you to try the crab cakes." Will said with a dismissive gesture. "Francie's really outdone herself tonight."

"Yeah, well, I knew she would." Vaughn looked pleased. For a brief moment, he allowed himself to wonder what Sydney would think about the fact that her friends had somehow become his friends as well. Here he was, having a drink with Will while Francie was lingering nearby at the buffet. Even though they'd only been his friends for a relatively short amount of time, sometimes he felt as if he'd known them for years and years. Of course, that was because of Sydney. He had seen them through her eyes before he'd ever even met Will or Francie.

_God, what am I doing_? He silently chastised himself. _Still obsessing about Sydney even though I'm getting married in two days_? Vaughn brought his glass to his lips, knocking back a gulp of single malt scotch, feeling the burn as it went down. It was a lucky thing that Alice could not read his thoughts.

_It'll stop after I'm married_, he tried to convince himself. Once he and Alice became man and wife, he would stop hearing Sydney's voice in a crowded restaurant or smelling her perfume in an elevator packed with people or seeing her face in his frequently restless dreams. He had to believe it or else it would drive him crazy.

A sudden movement outside beyond the French doors caught his eye. His heart skipped a beat as he tried to tell himself it wasn't possible. _The same height, the same long silky hair, the same lithe figure_…He blinked and the vision was gone. Vaughn closed his eyes again. _Hell, maybe it was the scotch_, he grimaced as he ordered another drink.

Sydney was alone on the deck as she tried to collect her thoughts. She kept trying to tell herself that it wasn't a despicable thing she was doing. If Vaughn truly loved Alice, her presence here tonight wouldn't change that. _But if he had doubts_…well, that made her feel slightly guilty that she was trying to manipulate his feelings for her own selfish gains.

_But damn it, don't I have the right to be selfish for once_? How many years of her life had she sacrificed, how many people had been lost to her because she had always done the right thing? Why was it wrong for her to want something that belonged to someone else? _Because then you'd be like Arvin Sloane_, Sydney thought wryly. _You'd turn into someone cold and ruthless and without a conscience_. 

Her spiked heels tapped along the wooden deck as she paced. With every second that passed, a little more of her courage began to melt away. Sydney couldn't bear the thought that Vaughn might reject her and in public no less. Maybe she should rethink the whole confrontation thing before she completely humiliated herself. 

The room was becoming stuffy and he felt as if the walls were closing in on him. Vaughn scanned the room for his fiancée and saw her circulating amongst all of their guests. She wouldn't miss him if he just stepped outside for a breath of fresh air to clear his head.

Sydney had settled into a darkened corner and leaned her head against the wall as she stared out at the silvery pathway of the moon as it glistened on the water. It was so quiet the only sound that could be heard was the lapping of the waves against the hulls of the nearby boats. The air was clean and salty and reminded her of being back home at her house in Santa Barbara. Maybe that was where she belonged. Not here. Not to disrupt a wedding.

The wooden floorboards suddenly creaked as a figure stepped out onto the deck with her. Sydney could tell that it was a man, heard the heaviness of his step, saw his shadowy profile in the moonlight. She held back an irritated sigh. She wanted to be alone and was in no mood for idle small talk.

_I can wait longer than you can, buddy_. Over the course of her many years as a spy, Sydney had become quite proficient in the art of remaining perfectly still, a skill set that had served her well during those occasions when one gasped breath could be the difference between life and death. Okay, so maybe she was being a tad melodramatic in regard to her current situation, but it didn't stop her from putting that talent to work as she heard the man exhale a tired, weary sigh before taking a healthy swig of his drink.

The clean, distinctive scent of aftershave hit her senses and Sydney nearly dropped her martini glass. There was only one man she knew who wore that particular brand of aftershave. She remembered it so well, reveled in it whenever he was close to her. She used to wonder what it was, but never had the guts to ask him.

Sydney was so lost in her memories, she accidentally shifted her weight and the creaky floorboards gave away her existence. The man looked over at her darkened corner, surprised to find out that he was not alone.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize anyone else was out here."

Sydney's first reaction was to gasp, but when she opened her mouth, no sound came out.  For a moment, she forgot how to breathe, which caused her to go off on a crazy tangent about how long the brain could exist without oxygen. Maybe she could pass out and not have to go through this.

"Are you one of Alice's friends?" A terse laugh came out of his mouth. "Actually, you probably have to be, considering that my guest list for the party came up to around fourteen as opposed to my fiancée's eighty-seven."

_Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God_! Sydney's heart was pounding so loudly she wondered why he couldn't hear it. She knew she had to say something, but there were no words that could express her shame, remorse, regret…whatever. Saying a simple "hello" would be the equivalent of dropping a nuclear bomb on him.

"Don' want to talk to me?" The liquor in his system caused him to slur a few of his words. "Well, that's fine. There's enough mindless chatter goin' on inside, anyway."

A red flag was raised in Sydney's head. If he thought she was one of Alice's friends, why would he make a disparaging comment to her about the company his fiancée kept?

_Was he drunk_? Sydney wondered with some dismay. _But the party had just started_! She thought back to what Will had told her about Vaughn's excessive drinking after she'd left town a year ago and how he'd scaled back drastically after reuniting with Alice. Was Vaughn experiencing another personal problem in his life that could only be forgotten with the help of a bottle of Jack Daniels?

Sydney squeezed her eyes tight, willing her brain to form a complete sentence. This was her big opportunity. He was here. They were alone. When would she get another chance like this?

"A-actually, I-I'm not a friend of the bride's." Her words came out unbelievably stiff and stilted. "Then again, I don't think I'm still a friend of the groom's, either."

Vaughn had just raised his glass to his lips when he heard her voice. His hand shook and the ice cubes tinkled against the crystal as he slowly turned around to face the person obscured in the shadows.

"Sydney?" He sounded hesitant, disbelieving.

She moved out from the shadows. "Hello, Vaughn." 

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: I know the cliffhanger drives you all crazy, but if I didn't pause it there, this chapter would go on forever.  As it is, the next one looks like another doozy.

Please let me know what you think by leaving a review.  Thanks for taking the time to read.


	7. Recriminations

**Author's Note**: Yikes, another extremely long chapter ahead, but it's all about Vaughn (yum!).  More from me later.

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"Oh, God." He uttered softly. How many times had he told himself he never wanted to see her again? And how many times did he wish that he could?

Nearly one year ago, Vaughn had returned to L.A. after testifying in Washington full of hope and looking forward to the promise of his future. His goal of destroying SD-6 had been accomplished, his career trajectory was on a tremendous upswing, and most importantly of all, he and Sydney could finally act upon the feelings that had been steadily building between them for the last few years.

Vaughn had been so anxious to see her again that he made sure he was the first one off the plane. He hadn't bothered to check any luggage, so he sailed through the airport and headed straight into a waiting taxi.

For security reasons, Vaughn had the driver drop him off a few blocks away from the lock-up where Sydney was being held as a precautionary measure. He had been told a few days ago that her release was imminent and he wanted to tell her the good news.

It was as if the wind had been knocked out of him when he was told that former Agent Sydney Bristow had been released from custody the day before. _She was gone_? Vaughn was dumbfounded. Sydney had his cell phone number. Why hadn't she called to tell him that she was a free woman?

Vaughn experienced a brief flash of uneasiness, but he quickly brushed it aside, not wanting to consider the possibilities. _There had to be a reasonable explanation_, he told himself. He decided to go home to his apartment to check his messages.

Of course, he could have saved himself a few anxiety-inducing moments by calling into his answering machine on his cell phone, but Vaughn had never gotten the hang of the whole "Enter your four-digit passcode and then hit asterisk." Or was it "pound?" In any case, he didn't want to take the chance that he might accidentally erase Sydney's message.

After fumbling with his keys and struggling with the locks in his haste to get inside, Vaughn stumbled into his apartment and made a mad dash to his phone. _Thank God, the light was blinking_! He pressed the "Play" button.

"_You have four new messages_." The mechanical-sounding voice told him.

"_Hello, this is Dr_. _Liston's office calling for Mr_. _Klinghoffer_. _Can you let him know that his test results are in and we need him to call the office immediately_? _Thank you_!" Whoever the woman was who left him this message ended her call on a rather upbeat note.

Vaughn groaned. "Idiot woman, did you even pick up on the fact that I say my last name in my outgoing message? Does Vaughn sound anything like _Klinghoffer_?" He hit the "Erase" button rather viciously, hoping that Klinghoffer didn't have a fatal disease or something like that. It would be a pity if he died because of Nurse Perky's incompetence.

The second message was from his mother. "_Michael, it's your mother_. _I've been following this terrible SD-6 story in the news and I'm a bit worried because I can't reach you_. _You're not involved with this case, are you_?_ Please call me_."  Vaughn grimaced rather guiltily as he went on to his next message. He had meant to call, but things had gotten so crazy. Not that he could have confirmed or denied his involvement in the SD-6 takedown, anyway, but his mother always fretted whenever the CIA was mentioned in the news. As if _he _was personally involved in each and every high-profile case that grabbed the headlines. Still, he should take the time to call just to set her mind at ease. But later, after he had listened to all of his messages.

"_Hey, Mike, it's Eric_. _I'm not calling you on your cell phone because it's not a big deal, but I wanted to let you know that you owe me a new bathmat_. _Donovan puked up his pork and beans all over the rug in my bathroom_. _Oh, yeah, and did you know Sydney's been released_? _See you when you get back_." 

"You're feeding my dog _pork and beans_?" Vaughn said in disbelief. "If you're doing that, you get what you deserve, pal."

Finally, he could listen to Sydney's message. Only it wasn't Sydney. At least he didn't think it was. It was someone breathing, but not speaking, and it went on for thirty seconds before whoever it was hung up.

Vaughn frowned as he stared at his answering machine with the light that was no longer blinking. _That was it_?

His mind immediately jumped to wild conclusions. Sloane must have gotten to her somehow, even though he was in federal custody and seemingly powerless. Or perhaps it was one of the members from the crumbling Alliance, seeking their own brand of revenge against the woman who had triggered their downfall.

Even though he'd been flying all night and his suit was looking pretty worse for wear, Vaughn didn't bother to take the time to shower and change before heading to CIA Headquarters. If something had happened to Sydney, someone there would know about it.

Only they didn't. Because nothing had happened to her. Or if it did, no one there had heard anything. Vaughn tried for several hours to get a call through to Jack Bristow only to be repeatedly rebuffed. Sydney's father had been moved to a top-secret location and only those on a need-to-know basis had been informed as to his whereabouts.

"But I don't want to know where he is!" He shouted into the phone. "I only want to ask him about his daughter!"

It was Weiss who had urged Vaughn to get in touch with Will Tippin before he got himself in trouble for insubordination (yelling over the phone to a superior officer was never a good idea). Vaughn acknowledged that it was a worthwhile suggestion, but he was unenthusiastic about making the call. It would be like admitting that Sydney held Will in higher regard than she did him and that was a hard pill to swallow.

Vaughn put off calling Will and left Headquarters for Sydney's apartment instead. It was a route he had traveled frequently during the past few years, although if asked, he would never admit to it. Maybe he would tell her someday how he used to drive by her place late at night just because he had been thinking about her. Then again, maybe he would never tell.

Francie answered his loud, insistent knocking with an annoyed expression on her face. He had a feeling he'd awakened her and felt a pang of remorse for it. Sydney had mentioned to him that Francie spent many late nights at the restaurant and she liked to sleep in on most mornings.

"I'm sorry if I woke you up, Francie, but I'm looking for Sydney." Vaughn said apologetically.

Francie reacted by giving him a suspicious look. "I'm sorry, but how do you know my name?"

Vaughn felt his face grow warm. He and Sydney's best friend had never been formally introduced to one another, even though he knew practically everything about her, thanks to Sydney.

Before he could stammer out an explanation, Francie asked him if he was with the CIA.

"Actually, yes, I am." He nodded. "Sydney--Agent Bristow was released from custody yesterday, but no one knows where she is."

The surprise on Francie's face was evident. "I didn't know she was out." 

Vaughn's heart sank. "So you haven't seen her?"

Francie shook her head. "You know, I thought some of her things were missing when I came home last night, but I didn't think anything of it at the time. I just thought that maybe her father had come by while I was at work to take some of Sydney's things to her while she was still being detained."

"What things have gone missing?"

"Well, her laptop is gone. It's usually right there." Francie gestured towards the desk in front of the window. She stepped away from the door to survey the room with a more critical eye. Vaughn took the opportunity to move inside and close the front door. It struck him that this was the first time he'd ever had the opportunity to visit Sydney's apartment and he saw little touches of her personality everywhere. Her home was as warm and attractive and inviting as she was.  

"Her portable CD player is missing, too." An uneasy feeling began to build in the pit of Francie's stomach. "Let me go check her room, okay?" She hurried down the hallway and left Vaughn alone in the living room.

Vaughn tried to quell his rising panic, but the fact that someone had come in and burgled Sydney's apartment did not sit well with him. Wasn't that too much of a coincidence, considering that she had seemingly disappeared into thin air? He wondered again about his theory that she had been abducted by one of her enemies. But for what purpose? Morbid as the thought was, if someone wanted to get revenge on her, wouldn't they just put a bullet through her head and be done with it? 

Unless perhaps they wanted some information from her. Was the missing laptop a clue? Maybe Sydney had stored confidential files on her computer that only she could access. Maybe the data was volatile enough that someone would want it no matter what the price.

"Some of Sydney's clothes are gone, too." Francie announced, suddenly bursting back into the room.

"How do you know that?" He asked, a bit puzzled. _Did she have a photographic memory of Sydney's entire wardrobe_?

"We borrow clothes all the time." She explained. "I just did the laundry two days ago and I put the shirt I had worn last week back in her dresser drawer. When I checked just now, it was gone."

Vaughn grimaced. This was not good. This was not good at all.

Vaughn thanked Francie for her time and then made a hasty retreat back to Headquarters. After telling Weiss what he had found out, his friend reiterated that he should contact Will Tippin before he alerted the cavalry in regard to Sydney's disappearance. As much as it pained him to do so, Vaughn reluctantly made the call.

Will picked up on the second ring. "Tippin." He waited for a reply, but none was forthcoming. "Hello?" He said after a long pause.

"Uh, Will, this is Michael." His words came out stiffly and awkwardly. "Vaughn." He added as an afterthought, as if Will needed help from the hundreds of other Michaels he knew.

"Oh, h-hey." Will stammered out. He and Sydney's handler were not exactly friends, but if they passed each other in the halls, they at least nodded hello. Neither of them, however, had ever initiated any personal contact with the other. "Did you mean to call me?" He asked in a confused voice.

"Yes, I did." Vaughn replied. "It concerns Sydney."

_When did it not_? Will thought to himself, but not in a mean way. He of all people could well understand Vaughn's fascination with her.

"What about her?" Will asked, curious as to why Vaughn would want to talk to _him_ about Sydney.

"I wanted to know if you had heard from her since her release."

"She's out?" Will's stunned reaction sounded genuine, but Vaughn didn't know him well enough to be certain.

"Yes, they let her out yesterday and I haven't been able to figure out where she went afterwards." Vaughn informed him. 

"Oh, well, no, I haven't seen her since before she was taken into custody." Will told him. "I couldn't get in to see her because I wasn't involved with the case."

"I see." Vaughn said speculatively. When Will told him that he didn't have a clue as to Sydney's whereabouts, Vaughn had felt a perverse sort of pleasure. While it meant that Sydney might still be in danger from an unknown force, at least he was secure in the knowledge that she didn't trust Will more than she did him.

"Do you think something's happened to her?"

"I don't know." Vaughn admitted. "I can't get in touch with Jack because he's in some top-secret lockdown and when I saw Francie, she didn't know anything, either."

"You talked to Francie?" He was mildly surprised at Vaughn's audacity to approach someone he'd never even met.

"Yeah, about an hour ago." Vaughn didn't care if Will thought he was trying to muscle his way into Sydney's life through her friends.

"I don't like this, Vaughn." Will sounded worried. "Sydney wouldn't just leave us all hanging like this. Not when she knows how worried we would be."

"Those are my thoughts exactly." Vaughn replied quietly.

After talking to Will, Vaughn began an unofficial investigation into Sydney's disappearance. Unofficial because although she was a former high-level agent, she was also now a civilian and using agency resources for personal reasons was generally frowned upon. Nevertheless, he was able to circumvent the system in his tireless attempt to find some ray of hope amidst this nightmare he found himself trapped in. 

Vaughn didn't admit it to anyone, not even Weiss, but he felt real fear at the thought of Sydney being in a position where he was powerless to help her. Not that he'd never experienced the feeling before--when something went wrong on one of her missions and he was thousands of miles away from her, he always felt his heart drop into the pit of his stomach until he was sure that she'd gotten out safely--but this was different. Even though she was the same person she'd been a week ago, to him, she was no longer Sydney Bristow, Queen of Espionage. He thought of her as more vulnerable now, both physically and emotionally, because she didn't have him or her father or the auspices of the CIA behind her. 

Vaughn took to camping out at the office because he didn't want to take the chance of missing a call from the myriad network of contacts he had working on Sydney's case all over the world. He rarely slept and he had to be forced to put something into his stomach. Weiss worried that he was becoming a tad obsessed, but Vaughn waved him off rather angrily. Eric was his friend and he loved the guy, but how could he not understand that he would move heaven and earth in order to find Sydney, hopefully alive and breathing and sporting that high-beam smile he'd grown to love?

Unfortunately for Vaughn, all of his efforts went for naught. One by one, his contacts would check in with nothing to report. His mood became bleaker as each day passed.

Then word came down the pike that Jack Bristow was to be released within the next day or two. Vaughn had gone through slightly illegal channels in order to gain access to the information of when and where Jack's plane would be arriving back in L.A. and in spite of the fact that Jack would probably fix him with one of his patented Jack Bristow glares the moment he laid eyes on him, Vaughn was prepared to meet the plane as soon as it touched down.

On the day of Jack's return, Vaughn was just on his way out the door when Weiss had come running after him.

"Mike! Mike, wait!" His friend caught him just as he was about to enter the elevator that would take him to the underground parking garage.

 "What is it, Eric?" Vaughn said impatiently. "You know Jack's plane is arriving soon and I have to be there."

"I know, I know, but we were just told of a change in plans." The expression on Weiss' face was somber.

"Did something happen to the plane?" Vaughn asked, alarmed.

"No, no, it's nothing like that." Weiss shook his head. "Devlin just received a request from Jack for a temporary leave of absence. It seems he wants to take some time off to go visit his daughter." He gave Vaughn an uneasy glance as he prepared for his friend's inevitable blow-up.

Vaughn's green eyes grew stormy. "Jack knows where Sydney is? Are you telling me that she's all right? That I've been going through hell for the past two weeks for nothing!" He was yelling by this time.

"I'm sorry, Mike." Weiss said, feeling inadequate. "I know you've been through the wringer--"

"How could she do this to me?" Vaughn cut him off. "After everything we've been through, she treats me with such complete and utter disregard? As if I never even mattered to her?" He was absolutely livid, pounding on the elevator doors in frustration.

"Mike, there has to be an explanation." Weiss tried to placate him. "You know Sydney wouldn't blow you off like that."

"Do I?" His laugh was ugly. "Do I really know anything about her, Eric? Maybe I just built her up into some messed-up illusion of perfection. My unattainable fantasy woman

whom I could lust over and dream about, but whom I never really had a chance at having." His voice turned bitter.

"Do you really believe that, Mike?" Weiss challenged him. "How can you even question if Sydney ever had any real feelings for you? Are you forgetting that she once condemned a man to death because she was trying to save your life?"

"Oh, right, like that was such a tough decision?" Vaughn sneered. "Hmmm, do I let Sark cold-bloodedly murder the man who killed my fiancée in order to spare the life of my faithful lapdog?"

"Don't belittle the decision she had to make." Weiss chastised him. "Regardless of the fact that it was Sloane she was sacrificing, it's no small thing to know that you're the reason another human being is no longer breathing."

Vaughn could say nothing, but his jaw hardened as a feeling of despair settled into his bones. What had he been doing for the last five years? Even though he knew that the destruction of SD-6 had always been their main priority, it didn't mean that other things weren't just as important. He had always thought that he and Sydney were on the same page, that they both wanted the same happy ending that was finally due to them. Obviously, he had been grossly mistaken.

Weiss kept telling him that he should go after her, give her a chance to explain, but Vaughn steadfastly refused, citing his oh-so-important male pride. Her callous disregard for his feelings was proof enough that she had never felt the same way about him that he did about her. Whereas he wore his heart on his sleeve, Sydney had never been quite as forthcoming with her emotions. She showed a true affection for him, but except for that one perfect moment in Cairo, he might as well have been just another Will Tippin redux to her.

He felt like an idiot, a dupe, a fool and he took out his anger and resentment on anyone who came within two feet of him. The normally courteous Michael Vaughn went on a rampage around the office, chewing out the secretaries, sniping at Weiss, butting heads with Devlin. It didn't help matters when the powers that be showered him with unwanted praise for his fine work as former Agent Sydney Bristow's handler as well as for his pivotal role in taking down SD-6, eventually rewarding him with what they called a well-deserved promotion. Vaughn didn't turn it down, of course, but it rankled him that _Sydney_ was the reason he was moving up within the ranks of the CIA. He didn't want to be indebted to her for anything, least of all his success at the Agency.

Vaughn continued down his path of self-destruction at an alarming pace. His reports were sloppy and habitually late, his interpersonal skills were being called into question as rude and tyrannical and his attitude screamed out for some serious adjusting. If he was aware of his growing ogre-like status amongst his peers, it didn't seem to faze him, perhaps because he was too self-involved in his own troubles to hear the grumbling.

Full of anger and self-pity, Vaughn started to hit the bottle in a rather intense manner. He wasn't normally a heavy drinker--a beer or two with the guys now and then--but he found himself taking to the hard stuff with relative ease. Getting drunk and not being able to feel was the only solution he could come up with that would take away the pain of losing something he had never really had in the first place.

Vaughn's downward spiral came to an abrupt halt when Devlin called him into his office one day to have a serious discussion about the younger agent's rapidly declining work habits. The CIA Director minced no words, telling Vaughn that he was very concerned about the number of complaints he was receiving, not just about the quality of Vaughn's work but also about the shoddy way in which he was treating his co-workers. Devlin further called him on the carpet for the fact that Agents Weiss and Tippin had been doing some serious damage control in an attempt to cover up for Vaughn's inexcusable behavior.

When Devlin told him about Weiss and Will, Vaughn expressed a mild amount of shock. He could understand Weiss helping him out (they were best friends, after all), but _Will_? How the hell did he get involved?

Over the years, Vaughn and Will had developed a relationship because of Sydney (_God, why did everything seem to be about her_!), but it was hard to define exactly what it was. They were more than just business colleagues because he knew a lot more about Will's personal life than he should have, but they were not friends because of what Vaughn considered to be their never-mentioned-but-tacitly-understood rivalry for Sydney's affections, romantic or otherwise.

Yet rivals wasn't the correct term, either, because was it really a competition if the prize didn't go home with the victor? He, of course, could not pursue a relationship with Sydney--not if he valued his life--but Will had seemingly been out of the race before even leaving the blocks. Vaughn rather grudgingly admitted that Sydney had never given Will any indication that she wanted anything more from him than what they already had, namely a good friendship that went back more years than Vaughn cared to count.

It did bother him, though, the liberties that Will could take in regard to Sydney. Will could take her out to dinner or to a movie. He could spend the night at her place (on the sofa, of course) if they stayed up late watching videos and he was too tired to drive home. He could be seen with her in someplace as mundane as the supermarket without fear that he might get shot as he exited the automatic sliding glass doors.

Vaughn had never been able to experience that kind of freedom with Sydney and so naturally, he resented Will. But if he had to be honest, he couldn't say he hated the guy. Hell, he couldn't even say he disliked him because the truth was, Will _was_ a nice guy. Under different circumstances (read: no Sydney in the picture), they might even have become friends.

But the fact remained that at this point in time, they _weren't_ friends. So why had Will decided to put himself out on a limb for someone who considered him a nuisance at best and a possible but highly unlikely candidate for Sydney's Significant Other at worst? The question boggled his mind.

Vaughn withstood Devlin's tirade rather stoically, preferring to let the Director think he was meekly acquiescing to his boss' demands as opposed to silently seething inside. Irrational though it may have been, Vaughn put the blame squarely on Sydney's shoulders that he was being forced to sit there and listen to Devlin rant and rave at him. It was a sign of how far he had fallen that he could no longer accept the responsibility for his own actions.

After the meeting with Devlin, Vaughn had headed straight for a nearby bar, intending to drown his sorrows in a nice bottle of scotch. That was where he ran into Alice, who had come in with a bunch of friends to indulge in a little Happy Hour good cheer. He had been well into his third drink when she came sidling up next to him at the bar.

Vaughn was surprised by her rather brazen approach of him, not just because they hadn't seen each other in over five years, but also because she had not taken it well when he told her that it was over between them. He hadn't told her the reason why, of course, because then he would have had to explain about how he and Sydney had met and how they had come to be involved (in a professional sense, of course). Unless you were in a low-level research position like Will's, it was generally frowned upon if a senior agent blabbed to their family and friends what he or she _really_ did for the CIA, so he couldn't exactly tell Alice that he was a CIA case handler for a double agent working for both the CIA and a black ops organization named SD-6. That would raise more questions than Vaughn could readily answer, so he had just left it at the fact that they had grown apart and the feelings they had once shared were no longer there.

But although that was essentially the truth, Vaughn couldn't deny that he still felt a physical attraction to the woman with whom he had once thought he would spend the rest of his life. Alice had always been a strikingly lovely woman and the years that had passed since they had last seen each other had done nothing to diminish her beauty. Her cool blonde good looks were in direct contrast to her sometimes emotionally fragile state, but Vaughn found her need to be taken care of somehow oddly appealing. She was so different from Sydney, whose expressively warm brown eyes always belied a sense of calm strength and confident self-reliance. _Sydney would never need me to take care of her_, he rather bitterly presumed. What Vaughn didn't realize was that there was a difference between _needing _and _wanting_.

When Vaughn looked at the woman standing before him, he was not reminded of Sydney, but it was clear that she still lurked in his subconscious, if his later actions were to be judged. He took Alice back to his apartment that night, not only because he was lonely and wanted someone to share his bed, but also because he wanted to strike back at Sydney for the cruel and callous way in which she had decimated his heart. Alice ended up staying the entire weekend and the only time either of them got out of bed was to answer the door for the take-out delivery guy. 

Almost without him realizing it, Alice began to insinuate herself back into his life. Although she preferred to be coddled and pampered, there was nothing she liked more than a challenge and to her, his sorry existence was just crying out for her guidance. If Vaughn had been his normal self, he would have balked at Alice's attempt to mold him into what she wanted him to be, but in his present condition, he didn't have the will or the inclination to fight her. He actually tried to tell himself that maybe she was exactly what he needed at this time when he was feeling so lost and adrift. After all, she did manage to convince him to stop drinking so heavily and to take advantage of the incredible opportunity his recent promotion had afforded him.

In the weeks that followed, Vaughn managed to put back together some of the broken pieces of his life. His work ethic improved, his demeanor was no longer as surly and he had actually cut down on thinking about Sydney to perhaps five times a day as opposed to the usual every minute of every hour he'd been working on previously. Most of the time, he cursed the very air she breathed, but then there were moments when he would sadly reflect on what might have been.

Vaughn and Alice had been back together for about three months when she started dropping hints about "making a commitment," which he took to mean, "getting married."

Vaughn wasn't opposed to the idea of marriage. Under different circumstances…with the right person…_no, don't go ther_e. In any case, he was more indifferent than anything else to the thought of him and Alice and wedded bliss. He wouldn't have minded if they'd just kept things as _status quo _between them, but he could understand her desire to move forward with their relationship. After all, they had been going out for two years before their break-up, so it wasn't as if the topic had never come up before. So what if they'd had a five-year break? What mattered now was that the spark between them had been rekindled and was seemingly stronger than ever.

So while the idea to propose to Alice wasn't exactly his own, he found himself feeling not completely abhorrent to the notion, either.

It was true that his feelings for Alice didn't measure up to what he had felt for Sydney. He believed a person had only one great love in his life and he had already found and lost her.

But he respected Alice and he was grateful to her for getting him back on track. They were compatible as a couple (as long as he did what she said), their sex life was good if not spectacular and it was probably time that he got married, anyway, after spending a good chunk of his thirties behaving like a lovesick schoolboy. He wanted kids and a house and maybe even a minivan, although he promised himself he would never be caught dead actually driving it (hey, his government-issued Buick was bad enough). The point was that he wasn't getting any younger and if he wanted to still have all of his hair by the time his kid graduated from high school, he had to start getting a move on. 

Vaughn planned to propose to Alice on Christmas Day. He was spending it with her family that year since his mother was in France visiting her sister for the holidays. He knew Alice would be thrilled at the idea of him proposing to her with all of her relatives gathered around her as a captive audience since she was the type who loved to be the center of attention. While it was more of a spectacle than he would have liked, he also knew it would make her happy, so he made himself go through with it. He owed her that much after everything she had done for him.

When Vaughn got down on one knee and presented Alice with the engagement ring he had picked out, she went through the entire gamut of appropriate reactions. She squealed delightedly and cried real tears and then beamed proudly as her family oohed and ahhed over her shiny new bauble. He watched her as she flitted around the room, unable to shake the feeling that a lot of her histrionics was just an act for her visiting relatives, who were fawning all over her as if she'd just been crowned the Queen of England. Cynical of him maybe, but he'd had a lot of practice during his time spent wallowing in self-pity over Sydney.

And damned if Alice didn't prove him right. Privately, when they were alone, Alice had admitted that she'd gone a little over-the-top, but only because she wanted a particular female cousin--one with whom she'd never gotten along--to go green with envy over her impending nuptials. Vaughn had given her a disapproving look to which she responded with a remorseful one of her own. He let her get away with her pettiness, convincing himself that it was okay to do so because he was in love with her. That same misguided reasoning was also his rationale for when Alice very meekly and very prettily asked if she could exchange the ring he had given her for one more to her taste.

"Not that it isn't a lovely choice, Michael, but I've always had my heart set on a very specific style for my engagement ring." She said with a sweet smile. "After all, I am going to be wearing it for the rest of my life."

Alice's idea of "a very specific style" meant the larger, more expensive emerald-cut diamond that currently adorned her left hand, but Vaughn had relented because it made her happy. He owed her so much, after all.

When he broke the news of his engagement to his friends, their reactions varied. Weiss had actually offered him condolences by way of a joke before giving him a halfhearted congratulatory slap on the back. Vaughn knew that Weiss thought it was too soon, that he was still on the rebound from the dreaded S-word (Vaughn staunchly prohibited them from ever speaking about her), but he was determined to prove his friend wrong.

While Vaughn had expected Weiss' rather lackluster hurrah (Eric and Alice couldn't stand each other much to Vaughn's dismay), it surprised him that Will was also not too enthused about his engagement. Was it too much to ask that at least one of his friends be happy for him?

Yes, (and it was still quite shocking even to him), Will Tippin had become one of Vaughn's friends. 

After Vaughn learned that Will had stuck his neck out for him when he was going through his "Dark Period" at work, he rather grudgingly made the effort to give the man his due. Will had accepted his thanks in his own humble way and after a few awkward moments, they started down a tentative path towards friendship. Since Sydney was a definite non-topic of conversation, Vaughn and Will found other things over which to form a bond and they were both surprised to discover that they actually had some common interests that had nothing to do with Sydney Bristow. As a gesture of goodwill, Vaughn later invited Will to go to a hockey game with him and Weiss and they had such a good time that Vaughn actually began to regret that he had been so standoffish with Will for the past five years.

He tried not to think too much about the fact that his newfound friendship with Will could be construed as just a roundabout way of keeping Sydney in his life. Not everything had to revolve around her, Vaughn would tell himself. He was friends with Will because he was a good guy, not because he thought he might catch Will talking to Sydney on the phone as he went by Will's office to collect him for their usual Monday Night Football beer-and-nachos at the nearby sports bar. Vaughn conveniently let himself forget that Will was the same person he'd never given the time of day to when Sydney was still around.

The look on Will's face was one of shock when Vaughn told him that he'd asked Alice to marry him. He'd already given Will the sketchy details of his previous relationship with Alice, but not the reason for their break-up, so Will didn't have the preconceived notions about Alice that Weiss did. Yet he reacted to the news in almost exactly the same manner. His friends both questioned him if he was sure he was doing the right thing.

"I thought you liked Alice, Will." Vaughn had said, in a somewhat wounded tone.

"Oh, it's nothing against Alice." Will hastened to reassure his friend. "It's just so sudden. I mean, you just got back together three months ago."

"Yeah, but we were going out for two years before we broke up." Vaughn pointed out. "It's not as if I'm marrying someone I just met a week ago."

"I know." Will still seemed agitated. "Listen, Mike, I know you don't like to talk about her, but what about Sy--"

"Don't say her name." Vaughn cut him off abruptly.

"See, man, this is proof that she still gets to you if you can't even bear to hear her name." Will frowned. "Do you really think you should be marrying Alice when you still have all these unresolved feelings for someone else?"

"They're not 'unresolved.'" Vaughn said coldly. "Whatever feelings I might have had for Sy--_her_ died when she blew me off without a second thought. I don't need a piano to fall on my head to know when I'm not wanted."

Now here he was, six months later and on the verge of his wedding, and Vaughn found himself clenching his fist as he struggled to keep the emotions inside of him from boiling over. _Why was she here_? _How had she found out about his wedding_? For one brief moment, a feeling of pure, unadulterated hope sprang from within him as he wondered if she had come to stop him. _Did that mean_…but then an unfamiliar bitterness wrapped itself around his heart as he told himself that Sydney was sadly mistaken if she thought he'd once again be her willing little lap dog. Those days were over thanks to her own doing and he wasn't going to let her mess up his life again. Now that he finally had things back under control, she wasn't going to knock him off-balance with her weepy eyes and her trembling mouth.

"What are you doing here?" He sounded much harsher than he had intended but that was probably a good thing. He couldn't help but notice that her skin looked like polished alabaster in the moonlight.

Sydney was a little taken aback by his tone. While she didn't think he would welcome her back with open arms, she also didn't think he would be so cold and abrupt with her, either.

"I-I don't know." She said lamely.

"Come on, Sydney, can't you come up with a better answer than that?" Vaughn mocked her. "I would have expected more out of such a dramatic entrance."

She flinched at his biting tone. If she had entertained even the slightest hope that it had been Vaughn who had sent her the wedding invitation, it was obvious now that she had been deluding herself. He sounded extremely upset that she was here and it pained her to realize that he was probably more concerned about Alice's feelings than her own.

"I came back to visit Will." Sydney replied, a bit defensively. Well, that was sort of the truth. She didn't have to tell him the reason for the visit.

"You expect me to believe that after a year away from L.A., you just happened to show up in town on the very weekend I'm getting married?" He looked skeptical.

"How was I supposed to know you were getting married this weekend?" She countered, a bit miffed at his tone in spite of herself. "I wasn't exactly on the guest list now, was I?"

"It would have been a waste of a stamp." Vaughn sneered.

"Are you saying I wouldn't have had the guts to show up?" Her voice was steely.

"No, I'm saying you wouldn't have cared enough to show up." He replied, his eyes narrowed. _Damn it, why did she still have the ability to make his heart catch in his throat_?

"Vaughn, I can't believe you would think that I don't care." Sydney said slowly.

"Oh, am I wrong? Am I supposed to believe that you actually do give a damn about me?" He asked ironically. "Quite frankly, I find that a totally laughable assumption on my part."

Sydney stared at him. This bitter, cynical man wasn't the same man she had left a year ago._ Oh, God, did I do this_? _Am I to blame for his complete 180-degree personality change_? A dull ache began to build within her chest. Heartfelt apologies simply weren't going to cut it with him.

"Vaughn, please don't act this way." A pleading note crept into her voice. "I--"

"Do you have to keep calling me by my last name?" He rudely interrupted her. "We're no longer business colleagues, Sydney, and this is a social function where it's not a common practice to refer to people by their last names."

His rebuke stung, especially in the ugliness of its tone. "I-I'm sorry." She choked out the words. "I never realized it bothered you so much."

"It's just so damned impersonal." He grumbled. "But then maybe that's the way you wanted it, huh? It always bugged me that I called you Sydney, but you never called me Michael. I guess it was your way of keeping me at arm's length, so I couldn't get the wrong idea that maybe we were something more than just two people doing a job."

He had guessed her intentions correctly, but it wasn't for the reason he thought. She had called him by his last name from the start and to change in midstream would have raised eyebrows. It would have given him and perhaps others a signal that her feelings had changed, that she wanted to have a more intimate connection with him. Revealing herself like that wasn't something she'd wanted to do, so instead she'd just kept things the way they always had been.

"I always liked that you called me Sydney." She said in a small voice. "It makes you a heck of a lot braver than I ever was."

Vaughn didn't know how to respond to that. "So are you going to tell me why you're here?" He asked after a long pause.

Sydney hesitated. She could feel the hostility emanating from him and she knew it wasn't going to be easy to get him to listen to her. "I lied to you just now." She finally confessed.

"What, you mean about the part where you said you cared about me?" Vaughn said derisively.

"_No_." She growled at him. "I was talking about not knowing that you were getting married this weekend."

"Oh." He said shortly.

"When I found out, I knew I had to come see you." She said haltingly.

"You could have just sent a congratulatory card." He drawled.

_God, he was going to make this as difficult as he possibly could_. "No, actually, I thought I owed you more than that." Her tone was cool.

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, Sydney." Vaughn let out a sarcastic laugh. "The fact that you think you owe me something."

She gave him a bewildered look. "Why is that so hard to believe? It's because of you that I'm still alive and in one piece, Va--Michael." Her face turned red at her slip-up.

"And so are you repaying me by deigning to come down from your lofty perch, Sydney?" He raised an eyebrow. "Should I be flattered that my wedding is the reason you finally came back to L.A.?"

She swallowed hard. "You're mad because I never came back after I was released from federal custody."

"Gee, what was your first clue?" was his sarcastic return.

She doggedly tried again. "Michael, I understand why you'd be upset with me--"

He cut her off yet again. "Oh, wow, thanks, Syd, that's so big of you."

Sydney finally had to let out a frustrated sigh. "How can I apologize for my behavior if you don't stuff it with the sarcastic remarks?" Her voice turned shrill.

"Do you think that will make it all better?" He asked tauntingly. "A heartfelt apology, a few well-timed tears, maybe a calculated hair-tucking behind your ears and you'll have good old Vaughn eating out of your hand again, is that it?" He ignored the lurch of his heart as he caught the hurt, indignant look on her face and continued on. "Newsflash, Syd, I don't have to make it easy for you."

"I'm not saying you do." She said through clenched teeth. "But can't we at least try to be civil to one another?"

"Civil?" Vaughn repeated, a hard look in his eyes. "Interesting concept." His voice turned cold. "How _civil_ was it for you to flat-out disappear from my life without a second thought as to what that would do to me?"

His words hit her as hard as if she'd been kicked in the stomach. "Michael…"

But he wouldn't let her explain. Not yet. Not when he still had a year's worth of anger inside of him. "Sydney, do you know what I went through those five years we worked together?" His voice was deathly quiet. "Every morning I would wake up and wonder if today was the day that your cover would be blown at SD-6. That somehow Sloane had found out you were a double and he was sending a hit squad to your apartment at that very moment. Of course, I could never call you to make sure you were all right, so I had to go to the office, all the while praying that there wouldn't be a message for me saying that something had happened to you."

"And those were the good days. Because at least I knew that you were close. That I could get to you if you needed me." Vaughn looked away from her as his voice caught.

Sydney's throat tightened as she felt her eyes begin to tear. She knew it would hurt to listen to him as he castigated her, but it had to be done. She had wounded him so deeply and maybe the only way he could forgive her was to let it all out of his system before it ate him up inside. 

"I think I did a pretty good job of hiding it, but every time you left to go on a mission, I was a nervous wreck." A muscle in his jaw clenched. "It's not that I ever questioned your competence as an agent, but you and I both know that things don't always go exactly as planned."

"It's the nature of the business." She commented softly.

"Yeah." Vaughn agreed in a clipped manner. "It's also the nature of the business that a handler is not supposed to become emotionally attached to his agent."

Sydney stifled a groan. That phrase would haunt her for the rest of her life. "Well, I hope you'll pardon me for saying so, but I'm glad that was one rule you didn't follow." She said boldly.

He gave her a long look. "Did you ever play a game called 'Keep Away' when you were a kid, Sydney?" 

His _non sequitur_ threw her. "What?" She asked with a puzzled expression on her face.

"'Keep Away.' I'm not sure if you're supposed to play with a ball, but we played with a frisbee." Vaughn's expression was very serious, as if he were explaining a nuclear peace treaty to her. "The object of the game is to keep the frisbee just out of reach of the other kids' outstretched hands."

"Are you comparing me to a frisbee?" Sydney didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

"It's a simplistic analogy, I know, but the principle still applies. You dangle something tantalizingly close to someone and they can't help but try to jump for it." He met her gaze head-on. "That's how I felt with you. You were there right in front of me, this wounded bird who had the amazing ability to be so tough and so fragile at the same time. How could I help but want to reach out to you?"

"But look where that got me?" Vaughn's voice turned hollow. "I spent five years trying to hold on to you only to realize that you were never in my grasp at all."

Her heart felt as if it were breaking in two. "No, Michael, that's not true." She attempted to reach out to him, but he stepped back and she visibly cringed.

He went on as if he hadn't heard her. "All that time, I thought that you and I…that we…but we weren't. It was all just wishful thinking." Vaughn's beautiful green eyes clouded over. "The truth is that I was just the sap who got easily played by a pair of big brown eyes and a high-beam smile." The hard edge to his voice cut into her like a knife.

"Are you implying that I used you because I knew I could?" Anger began to bubble inside of her. "That I played off of the feelings I knew you had for me just so that I could get you to do my bidding?"

Sydney could take the rudeness and the sarcasm from him; her past misdeeds had made him this way and she probably deserved to feel the wrath of what she had wrought. But for Vaughn to see deceitfulness where there was none to be had hurt her more than the barbed insults ever could. He thought she was a fraud and a user and a liar. What could be worse than hearing that come out of the mouth from the man you loved?

"Maybe you didn't do it consciously, but you have to admit that you gave just enough to keep me interested." His lip curled. "Good old dependable Vaughn. He'll follow me to hell and back like an obedient little puppy dog just as long as I throw him a bone from time to time." He met Sydney's glare with a defiant one of his own.

"A flirtatious smile here or a timid little embrace there." Vaughn's eyes grew cold. "Oh, and when he actually risks his life to save mine, I'll reward him with an extra-special something like what happened in Cairo." His voice was full of contempt.

"How can you even think that Cairo didn't mean anything to me?" Sydney found herself literally shaking. "That _you_ didn't mean anything to me?"

"Right, Syd, and this is how you treat the people who mean something to you." He said disparagingly. "Excuse me if I think your dry cleaner means more to you than I do. After all, he's the one who made all of your costumes so nice and pretty for you after every mission." His eyes narrowed.

"Screw you, Vaughn." Sydney flared at him, too upset to even realize that she'd used his last name. "How could I have ever thought that you were the one person in the entire world who knew the real me?" Angry tears filled her eyes.

"Whether you believe it or not, you were the only person in my life who I never lied to. I never had to and I never wanted to." Her voice cracked and he winced when he heard it. "And now you have the audacity to stand here and say that I was _using_ you? That you were just a means to an end?" 

"If you really think I am that cold and that calculating, then you don't know me at all." Sydney said in a dangerously low voice. "And I guess that means I never really knew you, either." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "The joke's on me, huh? The man I thought of as my guardian angel is really just a mere mortal."

"I'm not a perfect man, Sydney. No one is." Vaughn said quietly. "You can't fault me for being resentful that you screwed me over."

"I don't fault you for anything." She said tightly. "I can deal with the fact that you're mad at me. I know that some of the things I did--or didn't do--hurt you and I'm truly sorry for any pain I might have caused you."

"But you can't honestly stand there and tell me that you have doubts about whether or not I ever had any real feelings for you." Sydney gave him a searching look, but Vaughn wouldn't meet her gaze. 

"You told me that you used to wake up worrying about me." Sydney was speaking so softly, Vaughn had to lean closer to hear her. In doing so, he caught a whiff of her perfume and it made his traitorous heart beat faster. "I used to wake up wondering if it was worth getting out of bed. If I just stayed there, I wouldn't have to deal with Sloane or Kendall or the fact that I led this insane life as a double agent."

"But then I would start to think about everything I'd miss if I just pulled the covers up over my head." Sydney's lips curved into a little smile. "Either some crazy story about Francie's latest restaurant mishap or one of Marshall's ramblings about some super high-tech yo-yo that could kill a man at twenty feet."

"And I'd also miss out on seeing you." She was gazing at him so intently that he felt powerless to look away. "All the times I felt like giving up, I only had to think about you and tell myself that there actually was a good reason why I kept putting myself in the line of fire."

"It was always about you, Michael." Her voice broke and they both noticed. "Maybe I was a little slower on the uptake than you were, but I felt it."

Vaughn stared at her for a long moment. "I don't know what to believe about you anymore, Sydney." Was it her imagination or did he sound less hostile now? "You say your feelings were real, but why did I always feel as if you were holding back somehow?"

"What did you want me to do?" She cried out in frustration. "Throw myself at you every time we met at the warehouse? Wear skirts slit up to my thigh and sexy little screw-me stilettos?"

"If I never made my feelings clear, it was only because I'm not a masochist." She said frankly. "Wanting what I couldn't have. Looking but not touching." Sydney shook her head. "I didn't need that kind of pain and suffering."

The look on his face was stoic. "So was Cairo just an aberration?" 

His mention of Cairo stunned her. "What do you mean?'

"Well, you broke your own rules, didn't you?" Vaughn raised an inquiring eyebrow. "We looked." A muscle in his jaw twitched. "And touched."

"Cairo was…" She closed her eyes, remembering. "…a revelation." A look of surprise crossed Vaughn's face.

"It's amazing how one moment can encompass both ends of the spectrum." Sydney was choosing her words carefully. "In one instant, I was flying as high as a kite and in the next, I was six feet under."

"Do you know how torturous Cairo was for me?" Her lip trembled. "I had a brief glimpse of what it could be like for us and I wanted it so badly I could taste it."

"But if we'd given in to our feelings that night, do you really think we'd be alive today?" She questioned him. "Love makes you giddy, Michael, and giddiness leads to mistakes. The one time you forget to look over your shoulder and it was a sure bet someone would wind up dead." Sydney and Vaughn exchanged sober glances.

"I've already lost someone because I was weak." Sydney pointed out to him. "No matter how much you've tried to convince me otherwise, it was my fault that Danny was killed and I have to live with that for the rest of my life."

"I knew I couldn't go through that again, Michael." She gave him an imploring look. "If anything happened to you because of something I did, it would have destroyed me."

Vaughn struggled to remain unmoved. "Fine, I can accept that excuse while we were still working undercover together." His tone was brusque. 

"But what about the year that's passed since?" His eyes narrowed. "Can you make a pretty little speech about that?"

"No," She admitted abruptly, which surprised the hell out of him. "But if you'd just let me explain…there were reasons--"

Vaughn held up his hands to stop her from speaking. "I don't want to hear them." Being in such close proximity to her, Vaughn could feel himself falling under her spell again and he was trying desperately to fight it. He would not allow himself to be hurt by Sydney again and he knew that would happen if he let her get too close. If he wanted to save what little sanity he had left, he had to push her away.

"You don't?" She sputtered.

"It won't make any difference, Sydney." He shook his head. "It won't change what's already happened."

"But, Michael, it would help you to understand _why_ it happened." Sydney heard the pleading note in her voice and she didn't care if it made her sound needy and weak.

"Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don't _want_ to understand?" Vaughn shot back with a touch of irritation. _Good, she looked as if she'd just had the rug pulled out from under her_. "My priorities have changed in the year you've been away, Sydney. You're no longer the end all and be all of my existence."

"You have no idea how difficult it was for me to recover from what you did to me. But I got help from people who really cared about me and I managed to get my life back together." He fixed her with a stony gaze. "I don't want to get sucked into your world again, Sydney. The pain you cause is just not worth it." 

Sydney flinched as if he'd physically struck her. "I didn't realize you considered me so toxic." Her tone was wounded.

"Well, you are, Sydney." He retorted callously. "You're bad for my health. When I get around you for any length of time, you consume my whole being. You get under my skin and in my head and--"

"And what about your heart, Michael?" Sydney interrupted him. "Am I in your heart as well?"

"I'm not answering that." His profile was like granite.

"Is it because you're afraid of admitting that you still have feelings for me?" She needled him. "Or is it because you know you'll never feel the same way about Alice?"

"Don't bring her into this." Vaughn said warningly.

"She already is." Sydney snapped. "Do you love her, Michael?" She asked bluntly.

"Alice will make me a good wife." That sounded like the stock answer he gave everyone.

"That's not an answer to my question." She would make him admit it or die trying. "Do you love her?" She persisted.

Before Vaughn could reply, they heard the sound of a throat clearing behind them. "Michael, honey, you're ignoring our guests." Alice's tone was plaintive.

Sydney closed her eyes in frustration. _Damn that woman's lousy timing_!

"I'm sorry, sweetheart." Vaughn brushed past Sydney and went over to his fiancée to place a kiss on her cheek. "I'll go inside right now and make the rounds." He stepped back inside without a backwards glance.

Sydney took a few moments to collect herself. She inhaled several deep breaths of the salty sea air, trying to convince herself that all was not lost. Even though he didn't want to admit it, Vaughn still had feelings for her. Whether they were of love or hatred, she wasn't quite sure, but they always said that there was a fine line between the two extremes. She just had to figure out which way the balance had tipped.

As Sydney turned to head back into the party, she was startled to discover that Alice was behind her, still standing outside on the deck. She met Alice's glare with a rather obstinate one of her own and waited for Alice to speak.

"Sydney, you and I need to talk."

**Author's Note**: First off, I hope it doesn't seem repetitive that I keep mentioning things you've already heard about in previous chapters, but what I'm trying to show is each character's perspective of the same events and then expand on it.  I don't know if it's working, but that's my intent.

Also, in response to some of your reviews, there will be more stuff coming out about Sydney's mysterious disappearance during the previous summer as well as a little tidbit about what **_really_** happened in Cairo.  I do have the general plotline mapped out and I hope all of your questions get answered eventually.

Lastly, I just wanted to thank all of you for your words of encouragement.  I thought I had a good idea for a story, but I honestly didn't expect such a great response.  Special thanks go out to Hillary at _Cover Me _for her fic recommendation.  That really was a wonderful surprise.


	8. Dropping A Bombshell

**Author's Note: **Hi, everyone!  You've probably forgotten me and my story since it's been over a week between chapters, but I was one of those people having problems connecting to the site (blame it on AOL!).  I actually wanted to get this chapter up on Monday, so it's been a very frustrating week for me. I can't believe I've had to go five days without my FFnet.fix!

Anyway, here's the next chapter and the upside is that you'll probably get the next one much sooner if AOL doesn't screw up again.  If you don't hear from me for awhile, that'll be the reason why. 

P.S. to Corinne: (Hi, by the way.  I haven't been "talking" to you as much, but I still enjoy reading your comments as always.)  If you still remember what you wrote in your last review about the Cairo thing, no, it's not from the show, but just something I'm throwing in as a bit of wishful thinking.  Plus I think we all _know_ that Syd and Vaughn can't possibly work together for five years and not have _something_ happen between them.  Since I keep mentioning "the incident in Cairo" throughout the story, I just wanted to clarify that you (the readers) will find out about it eventually.

*     *     *     *     *

Sydney wasn't surprised that Alice was confronting her. If she were in her position, she would have done the exact same thing. Will had told her that she and Alice were complete opposites, but at that moment, Sydney realized that they did have one thing in common. They both knew that being loved by Vaughn was a precious gift; it was not something that would be given up without a fight.

"I'm not sure that we have anything to talk about, Alice." Sydney said evenly. "We did just meet each other only an hour ago, after all."

"Don't play innocent with me." Alice snarled at her. "I know who you are. I've been aware of your existence for the last six years."

"I see." Sydney's voice was cool. She found it hard to believe that Vaughn would have told Alice about her while they were working together as handler and agent. For one thing, that information was classified and she knew he wouldn't have endangered her life like that by throwing her name around to anyone who would listen. 

Could he have mentioned her to Alice when he broke up with her six years ago? Maybe not by name, but perhaps Vaughn had said he had met someone.

"What exactly did Va--I mean, Michael, tell you about me?" Sydney asked curiously.

"I know you used to work together." Her eyes were cold. "Rather intimately, from what I gather."

"You couldn't know that." Sydney shook her head. "Michael wouldn't have told you anything about our professional relationship."

Alice looked piqued and Sydney knew she had been right. "And I bet you just love the fact that you and he share a secret that I know nothing about." Alice hissed at her.

"Whatever we did in the context of our working relationship doesn't concern you, Alice." Sydney said loftily.

"Like hell it doesn't!" Her icy blue eyes flashed. "Anything pertaining to you and Michael concerns me!"

"Listen up, Ms. Bristow, because I'm only going to tell you once." Alice got up into Sydney's face, which didn't sit well with the former CIA operative. "_I_ was the one who put him back together after you callously threw him aside. _I _was the one to get him to stop drinking himself into oblivion every night. _I _was the one who made him realize that he could lose his beloved career if he didn't get his act together."

"It was _me_, not you, so don't even think that you're going to just waltz back into our lives and take him away from me again." Alice said menacingly.

True to her nature, Sydney did not even flinch during Alice's harangue. "What did you mean by 'again?'" She asked calmly.

"What?" Alice threw her a confused look.

"You said you didn't want me taking him away from you _again_." Sydney said patiently, emphasizing the word. "That implies that I took him away from you before."

Alice's eyes narrowed. "Don't flatter yourself. You were simply able to turn his head at a time when we were having problems. Giving in to an infatuation is always more alluring than dealing with the ups and downs of a real relationship." She sniffed, disdaining the notion that Sydney and Vaughn might have had any sort of bona fide connection to each other.

Sydney did not appreciate Alice's condescending tone. "If your _real_ relationship was so important to him, why didn't he stay and try to work through whatever problems you were having?" She asked in a tight voice.

"Maybe it was because you kept coming on so strong." Alice said accusingly.

"I beg your pardon?" Sydney looked bewildered.

"Don't deny it!" She snapped. "You were after Michael from the moment you met him!"

"You're delusional." She hadn't wanted to get into a war of words with Alice, but the woman was a raving maniac. Never mind the fact that Sydney was sure Vaughn wasn't in love with Alice; if her current behavior was any indication, he was in for a heap of trouble if he went through with his plans to marry this loony tune.

"What about that time you called him in the middle of the night because you needed to _talk_?" Alice spat at her. "That was the night of my twenty-fifth birthday and he left our bed to go dashing off to you. Do you know how that made me feel? I was devastated that he would leave me for another woman if she so much as snapped her fingers!"

"I'm sorry if you felt cheated out of a special evening, Alice." Sydney was somewhat sincere in her apology, but it was tempered by the fact that she still thought Alice was deranged. "We were still getting to know each other at that time and so we didn't talk about our personal lives too much. I didn't know he would be off celebrating your birthday when I called him that night."

"And you're wrong in saying I threw myself at him. I never did that." She said firmly. "At the time you were with Michael, I was still mourning the death of my fiancé. I wasn't looking for a replacement."

"God, then that just makes it ten times worse." Alice sounded bitter. "You gave him no encouragement yet he fell for you, anyway."

Sydney didn't know what to say after that. "I'm sorry your boyfriend fell in love with me." wasn't exactly a statement that would comfort.

"You know, now that I've finally met you, I can't imagine what he saw in you." Alice said cattily. "Oh, you're attractive enough, I guess, and you have a good figure, but I just don't get the appeal." 

_Did she want to play nasty_? Sydney thought to herself. _Because I can give as good as I get_."I guess I shouldn't be so surprised that you think it was only a physical attraction. From what I can tell, you care more about the way something looks rather than what it actually means." Sydney gave a pointed look at Alice's monstrosity of an engagement ring.

Alice followed Sydney's gaze down to her left hand and then looked back at her with a mean glint in her eye. "How dare you presume to know anything about me! I'll have you know that I _earned_ this ring and you don't have any right to judge me for it!"

"You 'earned' it?" Sydney frowned. "That's a funny way of putting it."

"I mean that I earned it after everything Michael has put me through!" Alice threw back at her. "I deserve this ring just as much as he deserves what's coming to him."

The conversation had suddenly taken a turn and Sydney wasn't quite sure where Alice was going now. When she spoke about Vaughn just now, she almost sounded as if she hated him. 

"He said your name once when we were making love." Alice shocked Sydney as she uttered her revelation in an oddly controlled voice. "I don't know if he even realized it, but I heard it clear as day."

"I hated you from that moment on." Her blue eyes glittered with an undisguised fury. "You probably think it's strange to hate some faceless woman who occupies your boyfriend's every waking thought, but I think it's perfectly justified." She gave Sydney a defiant look.

Sydney didn't find it strange at all. She only had to think back to when she learned that Vaughn had found another woman with whom to share his bed and she knew exactly how Alice had felt. Sydney remembered thinking that the woman was a tramp, even though she'd had nothing on which to base her rather childish name-calling.

Although now that she knew the woman had been Alice…

"I never mentioned it to Michael, of course, and I thought I could just pretend that it never happened." Alice was speaking again. "But then one day, he came home and he broke up with me."

"He said things weren't working out, that we were drifting apart, but I knew that was a lie." Her voice turned hard. "It was really because of you. Because he couldn't get you out of his head."

Sydney's cheeks reddened. She didn't like Alice nor did she like the slightly wild-eyed look that crossed Alice's face whenever she mentioned Vaughn, but it was hard not to feel sorry for her that she'd had to go through what she did. Under different circumstances, Sydney might even have been upset with Vaughn, but then again, he had done the honorable thing. He hadn't strung Alice along when he realized he had feelings for Sydney. He'd let her go.

"That's when I swore I would get even with the both of you." She whispered spitefully.

Alice's declaration caused a chill to run down Sydney's spine. _Get even_?

"And now I've finally done it." The look on Alice's perfectly made-up face was vindictively triumphant. "In two days, I will be marrying the man you love and he will be entering the worst nightmare of his life."

"I'm going to make that man's life so miserable it won't even be funny." Alice said, looking downright vicious. "And the added bonus is that if I have him, you won't." She gave a sharp turn of her heel and flounced off, leaving Sydney stunned and speechless.

Was it possible that Alice was behind her mysterious wedding invitation? Did she want Sydney to be an actual witness to the destruction she was about to bring forth? That was too sick and twisted to comprehend, but really, if the woman was crazy enough to try to trap Vaughn into marrying her just so that she could destroy him, it wasn't so farfetched to believe that she would want to rub Sydney's face in it by having her be there to see it.

Her first instinct was to go straight to Vaughn with the story of Alice's despicable scheme, but her doubts surfaced almost immediately. Sydney knew she didn't exactly have much credibility with him at the moment, so it wasn't very likely that he would believe her. Alice was his fiancée, the so-called love of his life. She was just the woman who had broken his heart.

As Sydney stood there contemplating her dilemma, she suddenly became aware that some of the partygoers were moving outside to the open-air dance floor, which was connected to the deck by a wooden footbridge. She'd been so engrossed in her various conversations that she hadn't even noticed when a small orchestra began tuning up just a short distance away from her. She saw Vaughn and Alice lead the way towards the dance floor, which was lit up around the perimeter with colorful Japanese lanterns. A lilting melody began to fill the air and Sydney felt a lump rise in her throat as she watched Alice melt into Vaughn's arms.

"Syd?" Will suddenly appeared at her elbow.

"Oh, Will, you startled me!" Sydney nearly jumped out of her skin.

"Sorry." He looked apologetic. "I was looking all over for you. Have you been out here all this time?"

"Yeah." She nodded.

"Alone?" Will asked with an inquisitive raised eyebrow.

Sydney gave him a droll look. "You obviously know the answer if you're asking the question."

"Well, okay, I did see Mike head out here earlier." He admitted. "He saw you?"

"We talked." She said noncommittally.

"And how did it go?"

"Not very well." Sydney shook her head sadly. "I'd rather not get into it right now, but let's just say that he's still pretty bitter towards me."

"Oh, Syd, I'm sorry." Will said sympathetically. "I know you were hoping…" He let his sentence trail off.

She gave him a grateful look. "I was probably just kidding myself that Vaughn could find it in his heart to forgive me. He doesn't owe me any such courtesy after what I did to him."

"He was probably just in shock over seeing you again." Will tried to put a kinder spin on the situation. "I bet once he has time to absorb it all that he'll start to remember exactly what you mean to him."

"Will, he's getting married in two days! If and when he ever gets over his anger, it's still going to be too late!" She looked forlorn. _Alice will have her hooks into him by then and she won't ever let him go_.

"Too late?" Will looked confused.

"I'll tell you about it later." Sydney said, suddenly feeling weary. "Right now, it's still too heinous to believe."

"Okay, Syd, whatever you want." He said, a look of concern on his face. "You know, you don't look so hot. Do you want to leave?"  

Sydney heard Will's question, but her attention was diverted towards the dance floor. She heard Alice's trilling little laugh float her way and oddly enough, it filled her with a renewed sense of vigor. No, she did not want to leave just yet. She still had a few statements to make. 

"Actually, I'd rather dance." Sydney looked at Will with a shrewd gleam in her eye. "Care to join me?"

Will loved it when Sydney got fired up. "Lead the way, _mon capitaine_." He offered her his arm.

When Sydney and Will descended upon the scene, Vaughn was settled along the outskirts of the dance floor with a perfectly coiffed middle-aged blonde woman who looked like an older version of Alice. The bride-to-be was nowhere to be seen and Sydney was just about to ask Will where she was when he leaned in close to whisper in her ear that he had seen Alice go back to the reception hall a few moments ago. She gave Will a grin when he seemed to have read her mind.

Unbeknownst to them, Vaughn was eyeing Will rather warily as he caught the other man's possessive grip on Sydney's elbow and the way he seemed to be standing too close--_wait a minute, did Will just kiss her on the ear_? Vaughn felt a roiling jealousy begin to build within him.

Will took Sydney into his arms on the dance floor. She made a conscious effort to not even look in Vaughn's direction at any point during the dance and instead concentrated on appearing as if she were captivated by Will's scintillating conversation. Too bad for her because if she had managed to catch Vaughn's eye, she would have found him unable to tear his gaze away from her as he completely ignored his future mother-in-law's ramblings about the upcoming wedding.

"Oh, Will, sometimes I wonder what I'm doing here." Sydney let out a sigh as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"Are we talking existentially or literally or what?" He joked to make her smile, which she did.

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Maybe all of the above."

"Well, if you want my opinion," Will looked slightly pompous. "And since you're asking me, I guess you do, I think it has to do with a little thing called 'fulfilling your destiny.'" He said lightly.

"Does my destiny include breaking up a wedding?" Sydney arched an eyebrow. "Now that's really classy and aboveboard, isn't it?" She said ironically.

"Hey, the wedding shouldn't even be taking place." He reminded her.

"You're just saying that because you don't like Alice." She pointed out to him.

"Yeah, well, there's a reason for that." Will paused for his punchline. "She's unlikeable! What better reason is there for me not to like her?"

Maybe it was Will's delivery of the line or the comical look on his face, but Sydney suddenly burst out laughing. Heads turned to look at the strikingly pretty brunette and her tall handsome escort and people smiled as they saw the attractive young couple sharing a cozy moment together.

If Vaughn concentrated hard enough, he could almost picture himself in Will's place, holding Sydney in his arms while feeling the softness of her hair against his cheek and inhaling the subtle fragrance of her perfume as it filled his senses. When they were working together, it had been a constant struggle not to lose himself completely when he was around her. On some days, she would come into the warehouse so dejected that his only thought was to take her in his arms and comfort her. On other days, she would show up absolutely livid, with a bright fire in her eyes that never failed to incite him. And then there were those moments when she'd be so happy and excited that they'd foiled one of Sloane's schemes and he would find himself basking in her exuberant glow. 

Somewhat belatedly, it occurred to Vaughn that he had long ago lost the battle to remain inured to Sydney's charms. Her warmth and her vitality and her passion drew him to her like a moth to a flame. Even now, he still found himself hovering too close to the fire as he watched Sydney move across the dance floor, as gracefully as a summer breeze.

His lingering bitterness suddenly took offense. _Damn it, why was he constantly romanticizing her_? Nothing about Sydney was soft and delicate and aching to be touched, he told himself, in full-force denial. She was hard and unyielding and aloof. Vengeance had always been what fueled her; not love or hope or desire. 

"Michael?" He felt a hand on his arm.

Vaughn turned away from gazing at Sydney a second too late and Alice was able to catch the object of his intense scrutiny.

_Sydney, always Sydney_, she fumed silently. _Damn it, the wedding could not come fast enough_.

"You know, I just realized how much I've missed you." Sydney grinned at Will. "I feel as if I haven't laughed for ages."

"Well, maybe that'll teach you to not be such a stranger." Will said sternly, pretending to scold her. "You could come visit me more than once a year, you know."

Sydney was just about to reply when someone spoke up behind her. "I heartily agree with that notion. You've been away for too long, Sydney."

Sydney recognized that voice and turned around with a big smile on her face.

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: Okay, so I made Alice evil. That's because she is even though she hasn't actually done anything to incur my wrath (other than to exist, of course).  Oh, well, every story needs a villain and she's so easy for the shipper in me to dislike.

Thanks to everyone for your positive reviews and again I apologize for the wait, but the situation was out of my control.  Hope you all had a great holiday!


	9. Confession

**Author's Note: **One of the questions arising from the story will finally be answered in this chapter.

*     *     *     *     *

"Well, well, do my eyes deceive me or has the lovely Agent Bristow finally decided to grace us with her presence?" Eric Weiss stood before her in all of his snarky glory.

"Eric!" Sydney said delightedly, hugging him.

"How're you doing, Syd?" He embraced her warmly.

Sydney and Weiss had developed a close working relationship during her last few years with the CIA. Besides the missions where they were frequently required to interact, there were also those occasions when Vaughn could not meet with her to discuss her counter-missions and Weiss would usually fill in as her "temp," as she liked to call him. It went without saying that she missed her clandestine interludes with Vaughn, but she found herself not entirely sad when Weiss appeared in his place. He was always good for a laugh, either with his corny jokes or his deadpan one-liners, and that appealed to Sydney because God knows she needed some amusement in her life now and again.

In addition to his role as the Good Humor Man, Weiss also became a sort of go-between for Sydney and Vaughn. He of course knew all about Vaughn's head-over-heels feelings for Sydney, but he hadn't known until he'd spent more time with her that she had begun to feel the same way.

He was usually the silent observer during mission briefings or status meetings and since Vaughn always over-compensated by acting strictly businesslike whenever he and Sydney were in the company of others, he was no fun to try to rattle. So Weiss took to studying the other faces in the room and it was during one of those sessions when he first caught a glimpse that Sydney's feelings might have been less than professional for her handler.

Weiss didn't know why he'd decided to call her on it one day when he was meeting her at the warehouse in Vaughn's place. Maybe he was being a buttinsky or maybe he just wanted some validation that his best friend's feelings were in some way returned by the object of his affections. Weiss had always been disturbed by Vaughn's attachment to Sydney and to what it could lead in terms of their objective to bring down SD-6, but he still thought it would really suck if Vaughn was putting himself (as well as Weiss) through all of this angst for nothing.

Sydney had been surprised when Weiss posed his question to her and she dodged answering for a few moments.

"Why do you want to know?" She countered suspiciously. "Did someone put you up to this? Devlin or Barnett?"

"No, Sydney, I'm not doing anyone else's dirty work." Weiss replied, not offended in the least that she was wary of his motives.

"Then why would you ask me how I feel about Vaughn?" She queried. "I know 'they' think it's a sacrilege that he cares what happens to me, but you know, Weiss, that's what _friends_ do." Perhaps she'd stressed that word a bit too long, but maybe she could distract him from the matter at hand with a little venting of anger.

"Hey, there's no need to get so bent out of shape." He put his hands up in self-defense.

"Well, how would you feel if someone questioned your feelings about a person who…who…" Sydney's feistiness suddenly turned flat. "…would be so much better off if you weren't in his life?" Her words ended on a sad note.

Weiss gave her a sympathetic look. "Is that what you really believe?" He asked shrewdly.

"Isn't it true?" She asked with a raised eyebrow. "Vaughn could have a normal life--or at least as normal as the CIA gets--if he wasn't involved in all of this cloak-and-dagger stuff with me."

"Well, maybe he doesn't want to have a normal life shuffling paperwork and typing up status reports." Weiss pointed out to her. "Maybe he enjoys all of the excitement and vitality and light you bring to his life."

Sydney looked up at Weiss, a hopeful expression in her eyes. "Does that make up for all the trouble I bring to him?"

"You're not as bad as you think." His mouth quirked. "And just for the record, he does think you're worth it."

Sydney gave Weiss a speculative glance. "Why are you telling me this?" She asked. "Weren't you the one who chewed him out about being too attached to me?"

Weiss' face reddened. "Mike told you about that?"

"He wasn't ratting you out." She assured him. "It just came up in conversation once. You know, when he and I get called in to Barnett's office for our yearly 'How are we doing on that emotional attachment thing?'"

"Syd, it wasn't personal." Weiss hastened to add. "I was just concerned. For both of you."

"So is that what you're doing now?" She asked lightly. "Showing your concern?"

"Yeah, in a way." He admitted. "Because I've come to the conclusion that it's not such a bad thing."

Sydney was shocked. "Are you serious?"

"Sure." He nodded. "I mean, hell, Sydney, we've all been doing this long enough to have experienced a lot of ups and downs, a lot of disappointments."

"But maybe you and Mike…maybe that can be one of the good things that comes out of all this." Weiss gave Sydney a look of genuine sincerity. "I really do hope you guys find a way to make it work." 

After Weiss' admission, Sydney found it easy to admit that yes, her feelings for Vaughn had deepened into something more than just friendship. Weiss took on the role of couples counselor for the two lovebirds, listening to Sydney and Vaughn whenever they wanted to talk about how difficult it was to be in love with someone and never be able to tell them how you felt. He smoothed over petty disagreements about protocol or procedure and one time he even arranged for a candlelit meal to be sent to the warehouse, on the pretense that it was a "working dinner."

It killed Weiss that when things finally looked bright and rosy for the star-crossed lovers, Sydney had to create yet another obstacle to prevent her and Vaughn from being together. 

He didn't know the complete story behind Sydney's defection to Santa Barbara or why she'd cut Vaughn out of her life, but even if there was a good reason for it (he was bound and determined to get it out of her before the weekend was over), it still made him mad that she'd screwed things up like that. And of course, he still got on Vaughn's case that he'd never even attempted to find out what was going on. 

Weiss had actually called his best friend a wimp for not going to see Sydney after they'd learned she hadn't been abducted by some evil enemy faction and was instead lounging around on a beach somewhere up the California coast.

Vaughn cited his male pride as his excuse for not going after Sydney, retorting that if she didn't even have the common decency to let him know her whereabouts when she knew he'd be worried about her, then he sure as hell wasn't going to break any land speed records on his way out of town. In a somewhat defiant stance, Vaughn told his friend that he wasn't even going to expend the energy it would take to pinpoint exactly where she was.

Weiss realized that haranguing Vaughn would just make him dig his heels in deeper, so he wisely ceased and desisted going on and on about Sydney. He thought they were behaving like stubborn fools, but what did he know? _He_ was just the guy who'd had to sit there and listen as they waxed so poetically and longingly about each other. From Weiss' point of view, he didn't feel it was too much to ask that he get the happy ending he thought everyone deserved (including him, for all the time and effort he'd invested into their relationship), but unfortunately, neither Sydney nor Vaughn was willing to comply.

Vaughn went through a bad spell for a few months and while Weiss tried everything to snap him out of it, it was running into Alice again that brought Vaughn out of his doldrums. Weiss grudgingly gave the woman her due in that she had succeeded where all of Vaughn's friends had failed, but it didn't mean he wanted his best friend to sign away his life in gratitude to her.  

Weiss had never taken to Alice. He had found her unpalatable the first time she and Vaughn were together and he didn't like her any better the second time around. The airs she put on drove him crazy and he just didn't know how Vaughn could stand it.

When Vaughn told him he'd asked Alice to marry him, Weiss had blurted out that he was only doing it in an attempt to forget about Sydney. Vaughn rather coldly told him that he'd already forgotten about what's-her-name and that he was concentrating solely on building a new life with the woman he loved, namely Alice. 

Weiss knew that Vaughn was just kidding himself. The same man could not fall in love with two women so completely opposite from one another. Alice was like the Anti-Sydney. She was cloying and bossy with a need to be fawned over and catered to. If Weiss wanted to go all psychoanalytical on Vaughn, he would have been correct in assuming that there lay the basis for Alice's appeal. Vaughn wanted to get so far away from everything that was Sydney that he had to go to the opposite extreme with Alice.

Weiss wanted to say all of these things to his friend, but he didn't want to alienate him even further into Alice's comely clutches. She'd already cut down on Vaughn's nights-out-with-the-guys and she'd had a dramatic (read: not good) effect on his personality. Whereas Vaughn used to be confident and assertive, he was now always looking to her for guidance as if he were a puppet and she was pulling his strings.

It troubled Weiss that Vaughn had changed so drastically under Alice's influence and he didn't like it that she seemed to relish her power over him. The plans for the wedding had been carried out with little input from the groom, who seemed perfectly fine to let his bride-to-be decide on everything, from the church to the menu to the color of satin ribbons in the flower girl's hair.

But the one thing they hadn't planned on was the re-appearance of Sydney Bristow into their lives. Sydney was the only person in the world who could bring forth any passion in Vaughn and even though that passion might have stemmed from anger instead of love, it would at least be a sign that there was still a spark, both in him and between them.

"How am I doing?" Sydney echoed thoughtfully. "I'm guess I'm doing okay, all things considered." She replied with a self-conscious shrug.

"Yeah, I hear you." Weiss nodded understandingly.

Sydney shot him a grateful look. "I see you're looking quite well these days." She teased him with a fairly lascivious leer.

"Checking me out, Bristow?" Weiss played along. "Have you finally come to your senses and decided to ditch Mikey for the best man?"

"Eric, Eric, have you forgotten that you're speaking to an English teacher?" She gave a woeful shake of her head. "Now I know I'm Lit and not Composition, but even I know that the usage of the word 'best' implies that there is none better and we all know that's not true when it comes to you." She said with a simpering smile.

"Where am I?" Weiss looked around in a disoriented manner. "Was there a timewarp back to Mrs. Rheinhart's tenth-grade English class?"

"It's called a joke, Sydney." He admonished her. "You know, since I'm the 'best' man in the wedding?"

"Oh, is that what you call that pitiful attempt at humor?" Sydney snorted. "My goodness, Eric, I've forgotten how corny you can be."

"Watch it, Bristow, or I just might be forced to take you out." He said, mock threateningly.

"As if you could." She scoffed. They both looked each other and then cracked up. Will, who had been watching their volleys go back and forth with an amused expression on his face, simply shook his head, gave them a parting wave and then wandered off in search of more shrimp puffs.

"Seriously, Sydney, it is good to see you." Weiss and Sydney drifted away from the dance floor and back over to the deck, where the music couldn't drown out their conversation.

"Likewise." She smiled. They settled at one of the small tables outside of the reception hall, which afforded them a modicum of privacy.

"Please tell me you're here for the reason I think you are." Weiss gave her an imploring look.

"A little exposition, please?"

"The wedding?" He prodded her. "As in you're here to break it up?"

"Eric, what am I?" Sydney asked, half in jest and half in exasperation. "Everyone's equivalent to a human wrecking ball? Why does everyone expect me to do something to disrupt the wedding?"

"Maybe because you're the only person who can?" He said pointedly. "Syd, I'm getting desperate here."

"You must be if you're turning to me." She said ironically. "You know, I'm actually kind of surprised you're not angry at me on Vaughn's behalf."

"Well, to tell you the truth, I was mad at you for what you did to Mike." Weiss confessed, sounding a bit judgmental.

"If you want to beat me up about that, you're going to have to take a number." Sydney replied soberly. "I've reserved the first million spots ahead of you for myself."

"Tell me it wasn't deliberate, Syd." He looked her straight in the eyes. "Tell me you didn't mean to hurt him."

"Of course not." She said vehemently. "How can you even think such a thing?"

"It's hard to know what to think when the people you thought you knew do stupid things to screw up their own lives and everybody else's." He replied, looking none too apologetic for his harsh criticism.

"I guess I deserve that." Sydney said quietly. "But it's not all my fault, Eric. Vaughn is the one getting married this weekend, after all."

"Syd, be fair." Weiss chided her. "You didn't write, you didn't call. What was he supposed to do? Stay in godforsaken limbo for the rest of his life?"

Sydney gave him a look of frustration. "Why do you have to be so irritatingly logical?"

"I didn't know being logical was a character flaw." His tone was dry.

"Normally it isn't except when it pertains to you." She retorted.

"Ah, Syd, I miss the quick wit." Weiss grinned and then lowered his voice. "And just between you and me, I think Mike does, too. He just isn't as fun to be around when he's not mooning over you."

Sydney gave him a brief smile. "Yeah, the good old days." She murmured half-kiddingly.

"But now he's got himself chained to the Debutante." Weiss looked chagrined. "Do you have any idea how wrong that is?"

"Tell me how you really feel about her, Eric." Sydney drawled as her face shaped into a frown. "You know, every person I've talked to makes it a point to tell me how much they can't stand Alice." She observed. "Why are you all hiding it from Vaughn?"

"Because we know it would only alienate him." Weiss replied candidly. "He depends on her a lot, Sydney. Too much, if you ask me, but she was there for him at a time in his life where he didn't know which way was up. She helped him put his life back together and now he thinks he needs her to keep him on the straight and narrow, so that he doesn't deviate down an unholy path." He gave her a meaningful look.

"Are you saying I'm the path to hell?" Sydney's lip curled as if she were offended, but it didn't last long. "Sorry, I know you're just being loyal to Vaughn and that's how you should be." She conceded.

Weiss studied Sydney with a sad look in his eye. "Sydney, why did you do it? I know how you felt about him and you knew how he felt about you."

Sydney avoided his gaze. "Eric, it wasn't intentional. You have to believe that." She stressed.

"If you want me to believe it, you have to give me something to go on." Weiss said matter-of-factly. "What's the story, Sydney?"

Sydney let several moments pass before she spoke again. The topic of her mental state after leaving the CIA wasn't something she found easy to talk about, even with her friends. "I--something happened to me after I left L.A." She began with some difficulty. "It's not something I like to talk about because it makes me sound…weak and I hate for people to see me that way."

"The people who know you would never think that of you." Weiss said compassionately. "Because we know everything you had to endure over the last five years."

She gave him a grateful smile. "I don't know if you could classify what happened to me as a nervous breakdown, but I think it was pretty close." Her words came out awkward and stilted, as if she could barely allow herself to acknowledge her mental collapse. "Once I was finally able to let everything sink in, it was almost as if I became buried under the emotional weight of it all."

Sydney's mouth quirked when she saw the surprised look on Weiss' face. "I know that sounds weird coming from me. Everyone always saw me as the can-do-it girl, the woman who never let her emotions interfere with her job."

"Not that things didn't affect me, of course, but I always thought I was able to get past the turmoil with very little damage to my psyche. I'm the woman who stabbed her lover to death. I'm the woman who made a deal with the devil, coldbloodedly sacrificing one man's life for another." Her tone was cynical. "And let's not forget that horrible episode with my mother."

"You were trying to save Vaughn's life when you agreed to Sark's plan. Anyone else would have done the same thing, regardless of the moral issues." Weiss said sternly. "And in the case of Derevko, what happened to her was unavoidable. No one found any fault with your decision-making in regard to her demise."

"She was my mother, Eric, and I'm partly responsible for her death." Even though she was aware of all the terrible things her mother had done, Sydney didn't have it in her to be glad that her mother's life had ended the way it did. Irina Derevko had been the woman who had given her life; they shared a bond as mother and daughter and nothing would ever be able to break that.

"But it wasn't just that, Eric. It was everything. I am the reason that so many bad things happened and I guess it overwhelmed me to the point where I could no longer function normally."

"I often wondered why you didn't have a regular appointment on Barnett's couch every week." Weiss looked thoughtful. "You always had a lot to deal with, Sydney. Forgetting about SD-6 for a moment, there was also the family stuff and the thing with you and Mike. It's admirable that you were about to juggle everything as long as you did."

"Maybe I should have talked to Barnett more. Maybe it would have helped me deal with my past indiscretions better than I did." She gave a shrug. "Instead I dropped the balls I was trying so hard to keep in the air. I had all of this empty time to think and I let the past eat away at me instead of focusing on the future I had spread out before me."

"Do you want to know what I did that first week at the beach?" Sydney posed the question to her friend. "Not a damn thing. Oh, it wasn't so bad that I stayed in bed all day with the covers pulled over my head, but it was close. I would get up, get dressed and go sit out on the porch to watch the waves. An entire day would go by and I wouldn't even realize it until I started to feel a chill. I lost five pounds in that first week and that was just from sitting there and not eating."

Weiss's expression was a mixture of empathy and shock. "Syd…" He murmured her name. "I had no idea."

"Oh, I'm not trying to play on your sympathies, Eric." Sydney shook her head. "In retrospect, I wish I hadn't gone off by myself. I wasn't prepared for the feelings of isolation or the lack of purpose. I wish I would've asked Vaughn to come with me."

"He would've, you know." Weiss said earnestly. "He would've done anything for you, Syd."

Sydney closed her eyes as a single tear fell onto her face. "I know."

"What do you think he's been waiting to do all these years? He's been wanting to take care of you practically from the first moment he met you."

Her lip quivered as she looked up at him. "I know, and it's a sweet sentiment, but it's a bit unfair, don't you think? Relationships are a two-way street, Eric, and I wanted to be able to take care of him, too." She sounded wistful. "All those times he used to talk about his dad, he would get this little boy lost look in his eyes and it was all I could do not to wrap my arms around him." Sydney wiped at her eyes. "I wanted to be there for him just as he was for me and I couldn't do that back then."

Sydney took a few moments to collect herself before speaking again. "My father visited me for the first time about two weeks after I got down there. Needless to say, he was shocked when he saw what had happened to me. I had lost a good deal of weight, I hadn't showered or washed my hair in several days. I had all the curtains drawn and the windows closed so that I could keep the light and noise from coming in."

"My dad was unbelievably supportive." Even now, Sydney was still in awe of her father's kindness and compassion during that most difficult period of her life. When her father stepped onto the porch on that hot summer day, she remembered her eyes filling with tears of shame. Jack Bristow, so tightly wound and so circumspect with his emotions, would see her loss of control as a sign of weakness. She thought he would be so disappointed in her.

It turned out she was wrong. "He didn't scream or yell or berate me for letting myself go to pieces. He simply marched me upstairs, ordered me to take the hottest shower I could stand and when I came back downstairs, he had a plate of spaghetti and meatballs waiting for me."

Weiss raised an eyebrow. "_Jack Bristow_ made spaghetti and meatballs?" He asked incredulously.

"It totally goes against the persona, doesn't it?" Sydney said with an impish grin. "Actually, the spaghetti and meatballs was an old joke between me and my dad. After my mother left us and before he hired my nanny, the only thing he knew how to make was spaghetti and meatballs. Sometimes we would have that for dinner for seven days straight."

"I didn't mind because I was just a kid, but eventually he got tired of it. That's when he hired my nanny."

Weiss chuckled. "So Jack was the one who brought you out of your depression?"

"Surprisingly, yes. He stayed with me and he took care of me. He would let me cry on his shoulder or we'd stay up until two in the morning just talking. It was the first time since I was a little girl that I truly felt loved by my father." Sydney looked pensive.

"Oh, come on, Syd, don't be so harsh on your dad." Weiss chided her gently. "I know Jack isn't the most demonstrative man in the world, but you have to admit he was always a little over-zealous when it came to you."

"Yeah, and for a long time, I never really knew what that stemmed from." She replied. "I mean, I know that during the CIA years, he went above and beyond the call of duty when it came to protecting me, but that was mostly due to external forces, you know? It was always about fighting some unnecessary evil like my mother or Sloane. He was protecting me from them out of a sense of obligation as my father."

"But what he did for me last year, it finally proved to me just how much he cares about me." The thought put a smile on her face. "He could have checked me into some clinic and let someone else get my head back on straight for me, but he took the time to do it himself. He was helping me get better for my own sake, not because it would make his life easier if he didn't have a whacked-out daughter."

"I don't think there was ever any question that Jack values you above every other person on earth." Weiss said to her in a quiet voice. "The risks he's taken for you and the rules he's broken…" His words trailed off.

"I know, but it was still nice to see it for myself." Sydney shifted in her chair and then continued with her story. "After I finally snapped out of my trance or whatever it was, the first thing I wanted to do was to call Vaughn. A number of weeks had gone by, but I thought that if I could explain what had happened to me, he'd find it in his heart to forgive me."  

"But every time I tried to pick up the phone, I would get this massive panic attack. I was so afraid that he'd slam the phone down on my ear and it would make me so frazzled that I'd spend the next half an hour crying over what I imagined might happen." She gave a heavy sigh. "At that point, I realized that I wouldn't be any good to Vaughn, not in the condition I was in. I needed to get my act together first. He deserved more than some basket case who would forget to breathe if she wasn't careful."

Weiss shot her a sympathetic look. "I realize you were going through a rough patch, Sydney, but you shouldn't have shut Mike out. If you were feeling lost, he would have helped you just as your father did. I think that's what got to him the most. You treated him as if he were a non-entity in your life."

"I didn't want to be a burden to him." Sydney said woodenly. "Not after what I had put him through all those years. For both our sakes, I needed to be the way he always saw me. Strong and competent and resourceful."

"I knew I had to become that person again, so that he would be able to love me again." She said tremulously. "He certainly couldn't have loved me the way I was back then." 

Weiss thought to himself that Vaughn would have loved her regardless, but he didn't say it out loud. "Syd, don't get me wrong, it was an awful thing that happened to you and I sympathize with you, I really do, but was it really so shameful that you couldn't tell Mike about it? Because I think he would have understood."

"Oh, I'm sure he would have." Sydney nodded in agreement. "And believe it or not, Eric, I fully intended to tell him everything, but unfortunately, I never got the chance."

Weiss' eyebrows shot up. "What do you mean?"

"It was when I received the job offer to stay and teach in Santa Barbara." She explained. "I wasn't sure if I should take the job and I wanted to talk to Vaughn to see if maybe I hadn't blown it. That maybe there was still a chance that he wanted me back."

Sydney's voice hardened. "But when I called him, a woman--who I now think was Alice--answered the phone."

"Oh, come on, Sydney, you gave up on the supposed love of your life because another woman answered his phone?" Weiss looked annoyed.

"It was early morning, Eric." Sydney said softly. "I know what an early riser he is and I wanted to catch him before he left for the office."

"When she answered the phone, she sounded as if I'd woken her up." She gave him a look he couldn't fail to interpret. "And just when I was about to hang up, I heard Vaughn saying that he couldn't get to the ringing phone because he was in the shower."

"Oh." Weiss couldn't think of an excuse when the reality was so obvious. "I guess that's pretty clear."

"Clear as crystal." Sydney murmured. "So there you have it. My sordid little story of how I messed up the one thing that meant the most to me. There was no malice or ill will intended. It was just a matter of circumstances I couldn't control."

Weiss didn't know what to say. What Sydney told him about her previous summer in hell was sad and shocking and totally unexpected. It made him feel badly that he'd been so flip in asking her if she was there to break up Vaughn's wedding. Her emotions were probably close to the breaking point at the prospect of losing the man she loved to another woman in just two short days. 

_Then again, why was Sydney here_? Weiss thought to himself. He knew she hadn't been invited and it couldn't be a coincidence that she'd come into town to visit Will on the very weekend Vaughn was getting married.

Perhaps Ms. Bristow had her own agenda…one that just might save his best friend from a lifetime of unhappiness.

"I'm glad you told me what happened, Sydney." Weiss took her hand in his and squeezed it. "I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me the truth."

"Of course, I trust you, but all the same, I'd appreciate it if you didn't spread it around." She gave him a meaningful look. "I told you because you're a friend and because I didn't want you to think I was some cold-hearted bitch."

"I would never think that of you, Sydney. I defended you when Mike--" He suddenly stopped short, choosing not to reveal his friend's rather choice insults pertaining to one Sydney Bristow.

"I can just imagine what he'd call me." She said dryly. Weiss flushed.

"So are you going to tell Mike what you told me?"

"What difference could it possibly make?"

"Syd, you have to." Weiss said urgently. "If you told him, it would explain everything. Once he knows the real story, he won't be able to stay mad at you."

"Right, he'll feel sorry for me instead." Sydney said pessimistically. "I think I would rather have him hate me than pity me."

"He doesn't hate you."

"You don't know what he said to me earlier." 

"Syd, listen to me, he doesn't hate you." Weiss said adamantly. "Whatever came spewing out of his mouth tonight was because he was hurt, plain and simple."

Sydney still looked unconvinced. "Eric, do you think he really loves her?" Her breath caught in her throat as she asked that question. If Weiss responded in the affirmative, she really didn't want to hear it.

He took a moment to think before answering. "I think Mike's confusing an extreme gratitude with love. He's convinced himself that he loves her because she was there for him at his lowest point."

"That was what he thought you two were all about. He thought that your relationship was all about giving love and support when the other person needed it the most."

"I let him down." She acknowledged.

"Big time." Weiss nodded, but his voice was kind. "Syd, I don't know if it'll make things worse for Mike if you know this, but I don't believe he's in love with her. Not the way a man should be in love with a woman he's about to marry."

A glimmer of hope appeared in Sydney's brown eyes. "Are you telling me I shouldn't give up?"

Weiss gave her a smile. "I didn't think the words 'give up' were in Sydney Bristow's vocabulary." He uttered softly. 

Sydney reunited with Will shortly after her conversation with Weiss. By that time, she didn't think there was much more she could do to heighten her impact on the evening, so she and Will only stuck around for another half-hour or so. When they made their goodbyes to the happy couple, Alice put on a sickly-sweet smile but her eyes were cold. Vaughn struggled desperately to remain unmoved as he saw Sydney hanging on to Will's arm a little too close for his comfort.

Unbidden, a rather disturbing thought entered his mind. _Where exactly was Sydney staying while she was in town_? He knew she had been on the outs with Francie, but he'd seen them together tonight and they'd appeared quite chummy, so maybe they had made up. He hoped Sydney was staying with Francie and not Will, but he wouldn't let himself think about why he cared.

When Sydney had Will alone in the privacy of his car, she spilled the beans about Alice's plot to trap Vaughn into a misery-inducing state of matrimony. Will actually wasn't too surprised to find out that Alice could be so spiteful and her particular level of nastiness made him feel a bit squeamish.

"She's a viper, Will." Sydney fumed, her mood dark. "I've dealt with a lot of unsavory characters in my time, but for her to be so deceitful and vindictive to someone who professes to love her…" Her voice trailed off as she was at a loss for words to explain Alice's treachery.

"Maybe that's part of the reason why she's like that." Will hit the brake as he stopped at a red light. "Because she knows his feelings aren't really true."

"She can't know that for sure." Sydney said stubbornly. "Vaughn is a decent man and he doesn't deserve to be a target for her revenge. He did the right thing when he broke up with her all those years ago. It wouldn't have been fair to stay in the relationship if he had feelings for someone else."

"What about what he's doing now?" He queried. "Is it _decent_ of him to use her in order to forget about his feelings for you?" Will was aware that it might have sounded as if he was slamming on his friend, but it honestly wasn't because he wanted to remove Sydney's rose-colored glasses where Vaughn was concerned. He was just trying to get her to see that deception came in all shapes and sizes; this wasn't a case of evil villain versus innocent victim because Vaughn and Alice were both at fault here. 

Sydney was a bit miffed that Will was trying to disparage Vaughn's character, but she had to admit his question wasn't entirely off the mark. "If it's true that Vaughn still cares for me, then I think he's trying his damnedest to deny it." She said carefully. "It's possible he doesn't realize that he's using Alice."

"Well, Mike does have extra-strength blinders on when it comes to you." Will admitted. "He doesn't want to see what everyone else can see as clear as day. Even his fiancée."

"Will, we can't let him go through with this wedding." Sydney said insistently. "You agree with me, don't you?"

"It would not be a good thing to allow it to happen." He concurred. "And I would say that even if he was my bitterest enemy." He added.

"So will you warn him?" She asked. "I would do it, but you know he won't listen to me."

Will looked hesitant. "Sydney, I already told you Mike won't take kindly to me badmouthing Alice."

"But this is more than just saying you don't like her because she's phony and insincere! She wants to ruin his life!"

"Syd, think about it for a moment." Will said calmly. "Do you really think he'd believe me over her? He would either think I was lying and he'd be mad at me or he'd confront her, she'd convince him I was lying and he'd still be mad at me. It's lose-lose all the way around."

Sydney let out a frustrated sigh. "Oh, you're probably right." She looked glum. "You guys have a history thanks to me and it's not exactly one that inspires trust."

"Gee, thanks." Will murmured under his breath in a wry tone.

"All right, if not you, then what about Eric?" She suggested. "If he says that Alice is up to no good, Vaughn will have to believe him."

"I wouldn't be too sure of that." Will shook his head. "Eric can't stand Alice."

"I know that, but he's Vaughn's best friend." Sydney stated. "Vaughn trusts Eric."

"That may be true in most aspects of his life, but matters of the heart are something else." Will cautioned her. "Eric's feelings about the wedding have been pretty thinly disguised even though he's been trying to hold it in for Mike's sake."

"Mike's aware that Eric doesn't wholeheartedly approve of the marriage, but Eric's told me that Mike won't even discuss the matter with him." Will revealed. "He got kind of upset when Eric told him that he shouldn't even be thinking about getting married when he still has largely unresolved feelings for you." Will shot her a sideways glance.

Sydney felt her cheeks redden under Will's gaze. "I can't think about that now. All I'm concerned about is getting Vaughn out of this mess." She looked perplexed. "Okay, if you're out and Weiss is out, who's left? Who do you know that I can talk to and he'll listen to?"

Will gave her a helpless look. "I don't know, Syd. I can't--wait a minute, what about his mom?"

"His mother?" Sydney's balloon suddenly deflated. Sure, Mrs. Vaughn would listen to _anything_ she would have to say. Right after hell froze over!

Will was warming to his idea. "Syd, she's going to be at the barbecue tomorrow. You could talk to her there."

"Will!" She burst out. "Have you forgotten the whole My-Mother-Killed-Her-Husband thing?"

"Okay, so it's not exactly the most ideal circumstances in which to introduce yourself to someone, but what choice do you have?" He asked matter-of-factly.

Sydney looked resigned. "None, I guess."

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: If you were wondering, the little thing about Irina being deceased at this point of Sydney's life is just something I made up.  I do think that on the show, Syd is going to have to make a decision regarding her mother's life and someone else's that she cares about, but that's all just my own speculation.

Thanks for the read and have a Happy New Year!


	10. Mother Knows Best

**Author's Note**:Hi, everyone. After reading several comments that things are moving too slowly, I had to speak up.

The S/V ship seems to have a life of its own and I can understand that you're impatient for them to hook up (much like on the show).  But for me, half the fun is the anticipation.  Of course, the show drives me crazy sometimes with J.J.'s "one step forward, two steps back" approach, but I _know_ S/V will get together eventually.

I realize that as the author of this story, I have the advantage in knowing how the situation will play itself out and the only thing I can advise is to be patient.  After this chapter, there are only four more left (I've had the whole storyline pretty much sketched out from the beginning) and the pacing is how I always planned for it to be.  From my POV, explanations need to be made before actions can be forgiven and that takes time.  Maybe it's just me, but I like it when the questions I have get answered and the resolution is not always quick and tidy.  Sorry if you don't agree, but hey, I'm entitled to my opinion just as you all are.

Thanks for your reviews and for allowing me the opportunity to respond.

Now back to the show!

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Sydney and Will were back in his car the next afternoon and making their way towards the Fairchild estate for the "Family and Friends Barbecue" (which was the exact wording as Will showed Sydney on the schedule of events that Alice had given out to all members of the wedding party). Will had broken down and was wearing a pair of the dreaded khakis, but he had absolutely refused to wear a polo shirt. He was wearing a golf shirt instead (he had recently taken up the sport), which he thought was a world of difference. She didn't say anything, but privately and with some amusement, Sydney thought the two shirts were strikingly similar. 

The dress code was supposed to be casual, but the outrageously wealthy had different ideas of what that meant, so Sydney opted to play it safe. She didn't think it wouldn't do for her to show up in a pair of shorts and a tank top, so instead she chose a simple slipdress in a summery floral print. She looked anything but sweet and demure, however, as the cut of dress showed off her lissome figure to its fullest advantage. It was hard to hide any flaws in a dress that moved when she did, but then again, Sydney didn't have any imperfections about which she needed to worry. Her makeup had been done with a light hand and she was wearing her hair long and silky-straight as she usually did. Her only jewelry was an antique pendant with a teardrop-shaped garnet, the deep red hue of the gemstone being a nice complement to the splashes of color on her dress. The necklace was one of her treasures, not only because it was a beautiful piece of jewelry, but also because it had been a gift from Vaughn.

It had been her 30th birthday and Sydney had been feeling a bit depressed. Not because it was the Big 3-0, but because it made her realize that she had spent over a third of her life working for the likes of Arvin Sloane and SD-6. Sure, they had made great strides in their efforts to take the organization down, but it was still agonizingly slow going. She knew she would never give up until she made that evil monster pay for what he had done to her, but at the same time, she didn't want to still be doing what she was doing ten years from now. That would mean she'd given over half of her lifetime to Sloane, which was a gift he truly didn't deserve. If anyone was worthy of her complete and utter devotion, it was Vaughn, for being so kind and patient and supportive. It just wasn't right for Sloane to usurp a position that should have rightfully belonged to the man she loved.

Sydney was supposed to meet Vaughn at the warehouse for one of their routine counter-mission strategy sessions. She was feeling cranky because it was late in the day and she had just come from SD-6, where Sloane had been cackling gleefully over some coup he'd just perpetrated. On most days, she could suck it up and pleasantly lie to his face that he'd accomplished a great bit of maneuvering, but today, it rankled her that he was acting so jubilant _on her birthday_. Couldn't just one of her birthday wishes come true in that he would suffer some horrible misfortune over which _she_ could cackle gleefully?

Vaughn was already at the warehouse when she arrived. He had his back to her, but she didn't bother to greet him before she started ranting.

"God, Vaughn, you would not believe Sloane this afternoon!" She grumbled as she walked towards him. "He--" Sydney suddenly stopped short as Vaughn turned around. When he moved, she saw a pink bakery box on the table. She looked at him questioningly, her foul mood having instantly evaporated into thin air. "What is that?"

His lips twitched amusedly. "What does it look like?"

"It looks like a cake box."

"Can't fool you, Syd." His eyes crinkled as he grinned. "Happy birthday."

"You remembered?" Sydney felt the urge to blush.

"Have I ever forgotten?" Vaughn arched one eyebrow. "I seem to recall that I always wish you a happy birthday on the appropriate day."

"Well, that's true, but this is the first time you've ever gotten me a cake."

"This is a milestone." He replied. "Your thirtieth birthday is supposed to be a big deal."

Sydney felt ridiculously pleased. "Isn't it impolite to talk about a woman's age?" She asked teasingly. "The trouble with you, Vaughn, is that it's too easy for you to look in my file. There's no way I can lie about how old I am."

"No reason why you should." Vaughn met her gaze with an unusually affectionate look in his eyes. "You haven't changed at all from the first day we met." He said softly.

Now she really did blush. She busied herself with the untying of the red string around the cake box. "So what kind of cake did you get me?"

"Chocolate, of course." His tone was superior. "I know it's your favorite."

Sydney lifted the cover of the box and she exclaimed admiringly over the beautifully decorated cake with its shimmery sugar crystal decorations in lavender and pale blue. "Happy Birthday Sydney" was scrolled on top of the cake in a lavender icing. It looked too pretty to eat.

"I've never seen a cake so elaborately decorated." She looked up at Vaughn. "Do you have a friend who's a pastry chef?"

"Actually, it's from a French _patisserie_ my mother frequents. She says they make the most authentic croissants she's been able to find since she left France."

"Well, it really is beautiful and I'm sure it's delicious. If I had a knife, we could share--"

"That's okay." Vaughn waved his hand. "You don't want to spoil your appetite if you're going out tonight with Will and Francie for your birthday."

Sydney's heart did a somersault inside her chest. He really did know her so well. "How did you know that?" She asked in a quiet voice.

"Don't you always?" He looked a bit wistful. God, he would give anything if he could just do something normal like celebrate Sydney's birthday with her.

"Yeah, I guess I do." Sydney wished silently that Vaughn could have come to dinner with them. In a bold move, she reached out and grasped his hand in hers. "Thank you." She whispered. "It was very sweet of you to do this."

"You're welcome." He smiled, relishing the warmth of her hand in his. "Oh, I also come bearing gifts." He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a flat square velvet box. "In honor of your thirtieth birthday."

Sydney could only stare at the box in his hand. "Didn't I tell you to stop talking about my age?" She felt as if she'd had the wind knocked out of her and her words came out in a breathy undertone.

Vaughn grinned. "Sorry." He held his gift out to her. "Are you going to take it?"

She met his gaze. "You know you always get into trouble when you give me a gift."

"Haladki's been gone a long time." He reminded her.

Tentatively, Sydney reached out and took the box from him. She cracked open the lid and gasped when she saw the exquisite antiqued gold pendant with a teardrop-shaped garnet suspended by a fine gold chain. Tears filled her eyes as she looked at Vaughn.

"It's beautiful." She murmured. "Wherever did you find it?"

"I may tell you someday." He gave her an enigmatic smile. "Do you really like it?" He was careful to keep the anxiety out of his voice.

"Yes." She nodded. Her heart ached for this wonderful man standing before her. "It's the loveliest thing I've ever seen."

Vaughn gazed back at her with a tender expression on his face. "I know what you mean."

As Sydney drifted back to the present, she touched a hand to her throat to feel the coolness of the gemstone against her fingers. It was probably dirty pool to flaunt Vaughn's obviously meaningful gift in front of him, but she was getting desperate. The wedding was _tomorrow_. If she didn't do something quick, he would be lost to her forever.

"Will?"

"Hmmm?"

"Tell me what's in store for us today." She was just trying to make conversation to keep her mind off of other things. "I'm already having a hard time picturing Alice as a barbecued ribs and corn-on-the-cob kind of girl."

"What was your first clue?" He deadpanned. "You're right. Alice Fairchild doesn't do barbecue. There's too much smoke and it's too messy and you have to eat with your hands." Will gave her a grimace. "'Barbecue' just sounds more family-oriented, but Francie told me it's really more of a buffet/picnic-type thing. No broiling over mesquite wood grills or taking turns basting the chicken with barbecue sauce. All the cooking is being done in the kitchen, which Francie says is a chef's dream. Her words, not mine." He added unnecessarily.

"Thanks, I got that." Sydney replied without missing a beat. "Is it going to be mostly the same people from last night?"

"Yeah, but there will be more of them and they're bringing their kids today." He told her. "Again, this is coming from Francie, but the kids are supposed to be cordoned off around the pool area and kept out of their parents' hair for the afternoon. Mike told me that Alice hired some party planner to organize some games for the kids and then there's a magician coming in and pony rides for the littler ones."

"Why, it's practically a child's birthday party." Sydney drawled. "Is she trying to impress Vaughn with her potential mothering skills?" She snorted.

"I wouldn't be surprised." Will shot her a smirk. "It wasn't lost on me, either, that she was making this shindig very kid-friendly."

As Will turned a corner, he suddenly had to hit the brakes rather sharply or else he would have run into the tail end of a long line of cars, all waiting to turn into a gated drive. A ten-foot high brick wall spanned either side of the black wrought iron gate and seemed to go on forever. Sydney tried to crane her neck out the window to see just how much territory was enclosed by the ivy-covered walls, but it was impossible. 

"Wow!" Sydney breathed softly. "The Fairchild estate must be enormous. I can't even see where the wall turns a corner."

"Wait'll we get inside. It's pretty impressive even though I'm not much for showing off just because you can afford it." Will commented dryly.

As they inched their way onto the estate, Sydney gazed at her surroundings with more than a little awe. It was hard to believe that real people actually lived so lavishly. The grounds were lush and green and perfectly manicured down to the neat edging of the grass along the side of the driveway. The air smelled sweeter and flowerbeds were more vividly colorful than any she had ever seen. She knew it was probably all in her imagination, but the perceived sheer perfection of it all disconcerted her. She didn't want Vaughn's future with Alice to be so bright and rosy. It would just make her feel lousier about trying to take him away from all of it.

The house suddenly became visible through the trees and Sydney's heart sank even lower. It was as if she'd wandered onto a movie set from _Gone With the Wind_, where the Fairchild mansion looked every bit like the first cousin to Tara, Scarlett O'Hara's beloved ancestral home. She half-expected Alice to come sashaying out from behind one of the tall white pillars in a poufy hoop-skirted dress with her waist cinched in to an impossibly tiny circumference.

"If this is what the front of the house looks like, I can only imagine what's in back." Sydney remarked a little shakily. She had known Alice came from money (inherited on her mother's side and earned on her father's), but she hadn't realized Vaughn's fiancée was a bona fide heiress. If Vaughn married Alice, he would quite possibly never have to work another day in his life and be able to live the rest of his days in opulent splendor.

Of course, Sydney was fairly sure that he would never willingly leave the CIA, but from what she'd been told, Alice seemed to rule the roost these days. What if Alice was somehow able to talk Vaughn into abandoning his precious career, which he viewed not merely as a job, but more as a living tribute to his father? Was she twisted enough to exact her revenge by getting Vaughn to give up on everything that mattered to him, so that he was left completely dependent on her?

"Oh, it's totally what you expect. Directly below the terrace, we have the requisite Olympic-sized swimming pool and jacuzzi. Beyond the rose garden are two tennis courts--one grass and one hardcourt. There's also a new horse stable and an old horse stable as well as a small paddock that Alice uses for jumping." Will looked at her sideways. "She jumps horses as a hobby."

"Why am I not surprised?" Sydney murmured, still feeling a bit troubled by her earlier thoughts of Vaughn and Alice and her vengeance plot. "Will, do you know if Vaughn and Alice are planning on living here after the wedding?"

"He's said privately that he wants them to get a house of their own, but Alice is pushing for them to stay here with her mother." Will told her. "She's trying to feed him some sob story about how her mother will be lonely in this big house all by herself, but personally, I think she just doesn't want to give up all the perks of being a spoiled rich girl."

"Well, Vaughn can't exactly treat her to the lifestyle in which she's become accustomed." She pointed out, but it wasn't meant as an insult. She was just stating a fact. 

"Not on our salary." Will agreed.

"I wonder if that's going to become a problem for them." Sydney ventured. "I mean, Vaughn will never get rich working for the government."

"Too true." He nodded. "And even though Alice is the sole heir to her family's fortune, I know he won't be happy if she makes him live off of her family wealth."

"A lot of guys wouldn't have a problem with it, but I think Mike would."  Will added. "He doesn't want to depend on her money when he's perfectly capable of earning his own. He would see it as a sign of losing his independence if he didn't lift a finger to provide for his wife's needs."

"Even needs that are extravagant as hers probably are?"

"Maybe he'll have to get a second job." Will joked.

"Either that or a new one." Sydney muttered. "Speaking of that, what does Alice think about Vaughn's chosen career?"

"Are you asking if she approves of it?"

"I guess." She nodded. "What I really want to know is if she would ever ask him to give it up."

"Well, I know she kind of thinks it has a certain cachet when she tells people her fiancé works for the CIA. You know, in that cool espionage kind of way."

"But if you think Alice sees him staying until he hits retirement age, you'd be sadly mistaken." Will revealed to her. "One of her ten--or is it twelve?--bridesmaids let it slip to me last night that Alice is really going to work hard to get Mike to quit within the next couple of years. Supposedly she wants to do some traveling before they settle down and bring some spoiled brats of her own into the world."

"It's all part of her plan, isn't it?" Sydney frowned. "She'll get Vaughn to give up his career because it would allow him to spend more time with her. Without a job to go to everyday, it'll isolate him from his friends at work until it gets to the point where she's suddenly the center of his world."

"And then to bind him even closer to her, she'll produce a couple of cute little kids who he'll instantly adore." She bit her lip uncertainly. "Vaughn would never leave her if there were children involved."

"No, Mike would definitely be honorable in that way." Will agreed, which was not what she wanted to hear.

Will finally reached the circular drive that was to be their drop-off point. Sydney saw a number of young men in black pants and long-sleeved white shirts with skinny black ties (and on a summer day no less!) busily running back and forth as they tried to keep up with the overflow of arriving guests.

"I think this is the first time I've ever seen valet parking at a private home." She mused to Will.

"Yeah, you and I have definitely never hung out with this kind of crowd." 

Will came around to help her out of the car and then handed off his keys to one of the valets. He took hold of Sydney's elbow and ushered her inside through the wide-open forest green double doors with brass doorknockers in the shape of a lion's head.

They stepped into a foyer that was two stories high with a huge crystal chandelier hanging down from the ceiling. The floor was Italian marble, a sort of pearl white color with a pinkish vein running through it. There were people milling about everywhere, up the sweeping marble staircases that curved around to the second floor or next to the twin antique mahogany sideboards, one of which served as a resting place for two huge vases of white lilies. Sydney could just barely see past the throng of people in the foyer to catch a glimpse of the sunroom, which had two pairs of French doors flung open so that the terrace could be accessed.

Will and Sydney found themselves in another receiving line. Vaughn and Alice were greeting people together today, looking for all intents and purposes like a Ralph Lauren magazine ad come to life with their picture-perfect smiles and great-looking hair. She was wearing a pair of caramel-colored cords and a white shirt that tied at her waist, displaying just a hint of her flat, toned stomach. Alice's blonde hair was styled in some sort of a flippy pageboy with a thin velvet ribbon in the same butterscotch shade as her slacks serving as a headband. Sydney supposed she was going for that carefree, privileged look of relaxed gentility and had to admit that Alice was the kind of woman who could pull it off.

Vaughn, on the other hand, looked a tad uncomfortable in charcoal gray slacks and a long-sleeved slate blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his forearms and the collar unbuttoned at the neck. Sydney knew he was a jeans casual kind of guy, but for some reason, he seemed perfectly willing to capitulate to Alice on the subject of his wardrobe. Maybe because it was easier to give in than to argue about it.

"Will! Sydney! How nice of you to join us today!" Alice simpered at them as they got to the head of the line. The look in her eyes betrayed the cheerful tone of her voice, but Vaughn was unaware of it because he was standing behind her.

"It's so nice of you to have us." Sydney smiled sweetly, doing a much better job at hiding her distaste than Alice had done. Then again, she did have a lot more practice at it from her years dealing with Sloane. Sydney made a point to catch Vaughn's attention and then she held it with her gaze. "Hello, Michael." She murmured, deliberately making her voice low and sultry.

His heart hammered in his chest just looking at her. _Damn it, why did it seem as if she became more beautiful with each passing year_? It must have to do with her genes. Even though he hated Irina Derevko, he could admit that Sydney's mother had been a beautiful woman, her stunning good looks clearly belying her chronological age. It was obvious that her daughter would follow along the same path.

Vaughn could feel Alice's eyes on him even though he didn't dare look at her. "Hello, Sydney." He purposely spoke in a monotone, pretending not to notice the light and warmth in her brown eyes or how the ends of her hair brushed lightly against her bare shoulders, which looked unbelievably soft to the touch. And then his eyes fell upon her necklace and his breath caught. He'd never had the chance to tell her exactly what it had meant to him. After tomorrow, he probably never would.

Alice stepped in at that moment to slip her arm rather possessively through Vaughn's. "Drinks are being served on the terrace and the buffet has been set up under the grove of oak trees. Feel free to wander around the grounds."

"Thanks, Alice." Will greeted Vaughn with a clap on the back and then linked his arm through Sydney's to lead her into the sunroom. "Could there be any more electricity between you two?" He muttered in her ear.

"What are you talking about?" Sydney asked, genuinely clueless.

Will gave her a smirky grin. "I guess you can only see it if you don't have it."

The happy squeals of children splashing around in the pool filled the air as Sydney and Will stepped outside. A passing waiter came by with a sterling silver tray of mimosas and Will managed to snag two glasses for him and Sydney. She sipped at her drink while she took in the view from the terrace. It was just as Will had described with the pool and the rose garden and the tennis courts. If she stood on her tiptoes, Sydney could just make out the roof of the horse stables through the trees. 

Two staircases on either side of the terrace curved down to the pool area, where the children were being watched over by a couple of lifeguards as well as a bevy of young college-aged adults dressed in t-shirts and shorts. There was one woman dressed in jeans and a red top who was off to the side, supervising as some of the college kids set up for a water balloon toss. She must have been the party planner Alice had hired.

"Now why do I think that the kids will be having a better time today than we will?" Will's lip curled.

"Maybe because they're totally oblivious to the tension I seem to have created around here?" Sydney suggested wryly. 

"Alice did seem rather peeved that I brought you here today, didn't she?" He tried to keep a straight face and failed miserably.

"I wonder if seeing me again is causing Vaughn to have some doubts." She pondered to herself. "If I could just talk to him again…" Her words trailed off wistfully.

"Well, you know it's not going to be easy to get him alone." Will warned her. "Alice is going to do everything short of handcuffing him to her side to make sure he doesn't go anywhere near you."

"Vaughn is not a dog she needs to keep on a very short leash." Sydney retorted. "I wish he would realize that he has a perfectly good mind of his own and he doesn't need her to make all of his decisions for him." 

Eventually Will and Sydney wandered over to the buffet, which was set up under an enormous white tent in a grassy knoll beneath a canopy of oak trees. There were dozens of round tables scattered about under the circus-like big top, a good many of them already occupied by talkative and hungry partygoers. While in line for her food, Sydney spotted Francie, who waved at her and Will before rushing back to the house for another tray of sesame chicken wings.

After procuring two bottles of Evian from a galvanized metal tub full of ice, Sydney joined Will, who had just come out of the buffet line. He was scanning the crowd for a familiar face with whom they could sit when a loud voice suddenly called out to the both of them.

"Will! Syd! Over here!"

"Oh, God," Sydney uttered under her breath when she saw who was beckoning to them. "Do you think it would be terribly impolite if we ignored him?" She murmured to Will.

"Well, yeah, since he's already called everyone's attention to us by bellowing our names over the general din of the conversation in here." He replied. "Weiss is such a loudmouth." Will added, but it was said with a glint of amusement in his eyes.

"But, Will, he's sitting with Vaughn and Alice!" Sydney hissed at him. The displeased looks on their faces mirrored her own.

"Oh, come on, Syd," He shot her an impish grin. "I've never known you to back away from anyone." He headed for Weiss' table and Sydney reluctantly followed.

When Will and Sydney arrived at the table, Weiss took the initiative to make the introductions. Luckily, a couple of Alice's bridesmaids (as well as their dates) were also sitting at the table, so the presence of others somewhat relieved the situation of its potential for awkwardness. Sydney shuddered to think if it had just been the five of them at the table.

The two chairs to Weiss' right were open and Sydney felt extremely self-conscious as she set her plate of food down on the table. She knew it wasn't true, but it felt as if everyone at the party knew exactly who she was and why she was there and thus they were all waiting for her to challenge Alice to a duel for Vaughn's hand in marriage. The image nearly made her laugh out loud, but she stifled it lest anyone think her mad for giggling in an entirely inappropriate situation.

Both of Alice's girlfriends gave her a rather evil eye as she sat down, which made Sydney realize that Alice had probably groused about her to them. She supposed she could take it as a compliment that Alice was sufficiently worried enough about her presence to complain about it to her friends, but it also meant that she would just be more diligent about keeping Vaughn close and out of Sydney's orbit.

"My, you do have a healthy appetite, don't you?" Alice suddenly remarked in a vaguely nasty way. It was the type of tone that most men were oblivious to, but women could hear it for the slam that it was.

Sydney looked down at her plate and felt her cheeks grow warm. She'd woken up late that morning, so she'd only been able to scarf down a banana before going out for a run. By the time she got back to Will's apartment, it was time to get ready for the barbecue, so she was starving by the time they arrived. Add to the fact that she knew everything would be delicious because Francie was catering and there were the reasons why her plate was piled high with a plethora of mouth-watering delicacies.

Sydney knew, of course, that Alice was just trying to make her look bad in front of Vaughn, but it didn't make her feel any better when she noticed that Alice was only nibbling on green salad and fresh fruit, probably in preparation for her to fit into her wedding gown the next day. It just made Sydney feel even more like a glutton, in spite of the fact that she'd never had a weight problem and her metabolism was such that she could eat anything she wanted without it affecting her figure in the least. 

"What's wrong with that?" Weiss came to her rescue before she could reply. "Syd's so active she burns it off, anyway. She doesn't have to resort to eating rabbit food to keep her shape." He gazed rather pointedly at Alice's plate of lettuce leaves and carrot sticks. Alice fixed him with a steely glare. Sydney's eyes darted back and forth between the two combatants and in the process, caught Vaughn as he tried to hold back a grin.

"And furthermore, most guys like a woman with a few curves. They're much more preferable to stick figures." Weiss turned to Vaughn. "Wouldn't you agree, Mikey?"

Sydney had to suppress her own chuckle as Vaughn choked on his beer at being brought into the middle of the scuffle between his best friend and his fiancée. After a few slaps on his back, he was able to gasp out a "No comment." before Weiss dropped the matter, looking a little too pleased with himself for stirring up trouble.

One of the bridesmaids piped up to turn the conversation towards the wedding. "Allie, tell us about your dress again. Exactly how many yards of organza went into your train?"

At the mention of the wedding, Sydney zoned out, grateful that she was no longer the focus of attention at the table. She studiously avoided looking at Vaughn, who was doing his level best to keep his eyes from wandering in her direction. Sydney proceeded to tackle the mountain on her plate while keeping up a quiet discourse with Will. Weiss was busy plotting his next move.

During a moment when Alice paused to take a breath between describing the intricate hand-stitched beading on the bodice of her wedding gown and the delicateness of the French lace in her veil, Weiss decided to jump back into the fray. "So, Syd, did you hear where Mike and Alice are going on their honeymoon?" He asked her in a loud voice, effectively stopping all other conversations in their tracks.

Sydney had just put a forkful of lobster salad into her mouth when Weiss put the spotlight back on her and she froze in mid-chew. She was tempted to give him a kick under the table for his meddling. "I think I heard they were going to Italy." She replied after swallowing, shooting Weiss a dirty look. He just grinned at her.

"That's right." Alice smiled prettily. "I adore Italy. The art, the architecture, the people." She let out a blissful sigh.

"The food." Sydney added before she could stop herself. Vaughn looked up sharply. Their eyes met and they both knew exactly what the other was thinking. Alice was still gushing about Italy, so she didn't notice.

"Oh, that goes without saying. Michael adores Italian food, but I've already told him that I'm not taking him to any restaurants where he can gorge himself." Alice sounded like a stern parent trying to reign in her child's self-indulgent behavior. "Luckily, he's clueless when it comes to finding a good restaurant."

"Oh, really?" Sydney did an excellent job of looking surprised. "Even in Rome?" She pretended not to notice Vaughn looked extremely uncomfortable.

Alice's eyes narrowed slightly, as if there was some underlying subtext she should be picking up. "Especially in Rome." She replied, latching onto Vaughn's arm for no good reason other than that she could. "Michael's already told me I'm going to have to plan all of our meals while we're there."

"How wifely of you." Only someone who knew Sydney very well would have been able to hear the light touch of sarcasm in her voice. To the casual acquaintance, her comment sounded perfectly bland. "Well, if you want any suggestions, I know of a place you might like. I've never been, but I've been told the food is to die for." She gave Alice a sweet smile as she popped a Greek olive into her mouth. Will kept eating because he was afraid if he didn't, he might start laughing. Weiss just looked tickled.

Sydney was relieved when Vaughn and Alice left the table a little later on to go mingle with their guests. Weiss took off for parts unknown and the bridesmaids (and their dates) followed shortly after, so she and Will were left to chat amongst themselves.

"Enjoying yourself?" He asked her, sitting back in his chair as he pushed his empty plate away from him.

"Oh, sure, I'm having a grand time." Sydney said flippantly. "I so enjoy watching Alice cling to Vaughn as if he's some life preserver and she's a drowning rat." She made a face.

Will grinned. "She's only doing it to get to you."

"Well, bravo to her, it's working."

"Oh, come on, you got in some shots at her as well." He pointed out. "That whole Italy thing? She could tell there was more to the story and it drove her crazy because she didn't know what it was."

"I told you about that, didn't I? Even though it never could have happened, we were in Italy the first time Vaughn ever asked me out." Sydney let out a sigh. "I always thought that one day we would actually be able to go to that restaurant and have dinner together."

Will gave her a sympathetic look. He knew he had to take her mind off of the self-pity. "Syd, since Mike and Alice have abandoned us for awhile, now might be a good time to go talk to his mother." He suggested.

Sydney looked startled. "Is she here?"

"She's been here the whole time. She's sitting at that table with Alice's mother." Will gestured behind her.

Sydney turned and spotted the older woman who had just stood up to discard the remains of her meal. Marguerite Vaughn was tall and sylph-like with delicate, fine-boned features that hinted at her Gallic ancestry and ash blonde hair gathered into an elegant twist at the nape of her neck. Sydney was sure Vaughn's mother had to be close to her sixties if not already there, but she looked ten years younger with her trim figure and smooth, unlined face. It was odd, but also kind of interesting that she and Vaughn both had mothers who were ageless wonders.

"She's pretty." Sydney commented, not knowing what else to say.

"Yeah. It's too bad Mike looks like his dad." Will said, tongue-in-cheek.

Sydney cut her eyes at him. "Don't make me laugh." She scolded him. "You're going to make me lose my nerve."

His lips curved into a grin. "She's heading over to the buffet table for some dessert. Go head her off at the pass." He urged her.

Sydney took a deep breath and then stood up to make her way over to the buffet. She came to stand side-by-side with Vaughn's mother, who looked as if she were having trouble deciding between the sinfully rich-looking chocolate fudge cake or the more virtuous oatmeal apple cake.

"I'd go for the chocolate, if I were you." Sydney leaned in rather conspiratorially.

The older woman turned her head to look at the attractive young woman standing next to her. "Are you telling me it is worth the two step classes I will have to go to next week?" She asked with an amused twinkle in her eye. Sydney's finely tuned ear was able to pick up the lingering French accent in her speech.

"It's actually worth a whole month of step classes." She smiled. "I may be biased, though, because the caterer is a good friend of mine."

"Ah, well, then that is even more of a reason to trust your judgment." Mrs. Vaughn picked up two servings of the chocolate cake. "You will join me, yes?"

Her invitation caught Sydney unawares. "I-I would like that." She stammered out and followed Vaughn's mother to an empty table. She waited for the older woman to take her chair and then sat down next to her.

Mrs. Vaughn sampled a bite of her cake. "This is delicious." She raved. "It is even better than the one I buy at the French _patisserie _near my house." A flash of recognition crossed Sydney's face as she was reminded of her thirtieth birthday for the second time that day. 

"I get one of their chocolate cakes every time my son comes to visit me because he has loved them since he was a little boy, but now I think he should bring me one from his caterer friend."

Sydney smiled. It was endearing to think of Vaughn as a little boy with a smudge of chocolate frosting on his face. She wished she could ask Mrs. Vaughn to tell her all about that boy who grew up to be the man she admired and adored.

"You know, I have just realized that you probably do not even know who I am talking about because we have not introduced ourselves." Mrs. Vaughn set down her fork. "My name is Marguerite Vaughn. I am Michael's mother." She held out her hand.

Sydney had hoped to avoid revealing her name for a few moments longer. She was too afraid that Mrs. Vaughn would dump the chocolate cake right in her lap once she found out who she really was.

Sydney thought frantically. "You must be very proud of him." She grasped Mrs. Vaughn's hand with a sweet smile.

Marguerite beamed at her. "Yes, I think my son is a wonderful man."

"He is." Sydney agreed. "I know that because we used to work together."

A look of surprise registered on the older woman's face. "You were an agent with the CIA?"

"Yes." Sydney nodded. 

"But not anymore?"

"No, I left the Agency about a year ago."

"Smart move." Mrs. Vaughn said approvingly. "I wish my son would follow your lead."

"He loves his job." Sydney replied, as if that explained everything.

Oddly enough, Marguerite seemed to know exactly what she meant because she nodded understandingly. "He also loved his father. That is why he stays." She gave a little shrug. "Oh, well, I should not complain. When he received his promotion, it meant no more field action so at least he is out of harm's way now."

"From what I hear, he used to be pretty good in the field."

Mrs. Vaughn smiled at her praise. "Michael always used to tell me that every mission he participated in brought him one step closer to his goal." Her expression grew thoughtful. "Of course, he never told me what that goal was, but I knew it was very important to him. Whenever I would express my worries about the potential for danger, he would just smile and say, 'I'm doing this because it's an investment towards my future, Mom.'"

Sydney felt her face turn red. Sharp-eyed as her son, Mrs. Vaughn noticed.

"That is a lovely pendant, dear." She commented in a neutral voice.

Sydney's hand automatically went to her throat. "Thank you." She smiled, the heat draining slowly from her face.

"Did you know it belonged to Michael's grandmother?" Mrs. Vaughn went on in that same placid tone, acutely aware of what kind of response her words would bring. 

Sydney was struck speechless. Vaughn had never told her where he'd gotten the pendant. She'd just assumed he'd been prowling around antique stores again.

"Y-you've known a-all along who I was, haven't you?" Sydney stuttered, the blush returning to her cheeks.

"Yes, once I saw the pendant. It belonged to my mother." Marguerite gave the younger woman an indulgent look. "You're Sydney, aren't you?" Her tone was kind.

"Yes." She whispered. "Sydney Bristow." She watched Mrs. Vaughn carefully for any sign of rancor in her eyes. To her amazement, Vaughn's mother did not look as if she wanted to throttle Sydney.

"Your mother was Laura Bristow." Mrs. Vaughn uttered as a statement of fact. "AKA Irina Derevko." Again, it was a statement, not a question.

Sydney nodded again, her eyes lowered.

An awkward silence ensued. There were several tense moments before Mrs. Vaughn spoke again. "Michael told me the whole story regarding her death a few years ago. He probably shouldn't have considering that it violates the rules of confidentiality, but he thought I would want to know that my husband's killer finally met her own end."

Sydney swallowed the huge lump in her throat. She had to get something off of her chest and she had to do it before Mrs. Vaughn decided she wasn't worth the effort it would take to listen. "Mrs. Vaughn, I know nothing I can say will change what my mother did to your husband or take away the pain of missing him all these years, but I want you to know that I'm deeply sorry for what she did to you and Michael."

"She left me when I was just a child and I didn't know until six years ago who she really was." Sydney forced herself to meet Mrs. Vaughn's gaze. "When I found out what she did to your husband, to Michael's father…that was one thing for which I could never forgive her and I held it against her until the day she died."

"Is this the reason why you sought me out, Sydney?" Marguerite asked. "To apologize for your mother's transgressions?"

"It's not the only reason, but yes, I have wanted to talk to you for a long time." She nodded. "Not just to apologize, but also to compliment you for raising such a fine son. I know it couldn't have been easy to do that all by yourself, but Michael is truly an amazing man and you deserve a lot of the credit." Her cheeks flushed when she realized she was gushing over Vaughn. Every word of what she said was true, of course, but it was probably bad form to fawn over a man who was about to marry another woman.

"Thank you, Sydney." Vaughn's mother patted her hand. Sydney looked up in surprise. "I am glad to know how much you appreciate him."

"You know, his grandmother--my mother--willed some of her most precious pieces of jewelry to Michael with the express intent that they be given to his future wife. She wanted them to be passed down, generation by generation."

"Is that so?" Sydney experienced a moment of conflict. Should she offer to give back the pendant? But how could she when it was one of the few things she had left of Vaughn? "I-I didn't know that."

"When Michael decided to give that pendant to you for your birthday, he told me all about you." Marguerite revealed to her. "How brave and strong you are. Whenever he used to speak of you, his eyes would light up and he would have a lovely smile on his face."

Sydney felt the sting of tears in the corner of her eyes. The reason Vaughn had given her the pendant was because he had envisioned her as his future wife. The knowledge nearly broke her heart.

"The look in his eyes was so honest and true and absolute." Mrs. Vaughn gave her a sober glance. "That is when I realized my son was in love with the daughter of the woman who killed his father."

Sydney gulped. "Does that upset you?" She asked warily.

"I was not pleased at first." She admitted. "It seemed to me a betrayal of his father's memory."

"But eventually I came to realize that you had nothing to do with what your mother did and that I shouldn't hold it against you."

"That's very generous of you." Sydney murmured.

"You give me too much credit." Marguerite gave a careless wave. "It was just more practical. Michael was in love with you and I did not want to alienate him by speaking badly of you."

"One of the reasons he joined the CIA was because he wanted to bring his father's killer to justice. I used to worry that his need for revenge would eat away at him." Mrs. Vaughn looked pensive. "I did not want my son to turn into someone cold and embittered and disillusioned."

"He's not like that." Sydney burst out. "I mean, he wasn't like that when I knew him." She finished lamely, realizing that much could have changed in the past year. 

"No, you are right, he is not, and that is because of you."

"Me?" She gave Vaughn's mother a quizzical look.

"Michael told me about the first time he met your mother face-to-face. He said he was surprised that his first instinct was no longer to make her suffer as she'd made him suffer having to live without his father for so many years."

"Instead, he saw Ms. Derevko as your mother, the woman who brought you into the world and into his life. As strange as it may sound, I think he might have felt a debt of gratitude towards her for that reason alone." Marguerite Vaughn gazed at the young woman whose brown eyes were so full of guilt and anguish. "You must be an extraordinary woman, Sydney, for my son to look past the pain and suffering your mother's actions have caused."

As gratifying as it was to learn that Vaughn's mother didn't believe she was the root of all evil, it made Sydney feel tormented inside when she realized how much of himself Vaughn had willingly relinquished to her. She knew how much he had loved his father, but in giving up on his notion of revenge towards Irina, he was telling her that he loved her more. He was telling her that he wasn't willing to risk losing her faith or her trust or her love over some meaningless vendetta. 

"I think Michael is the extraordinary one." Sydney said quietly. "I only wish I could tell him that."

"Why can't you?"

Sydney bit her lip hesitantly "Did he…tell you what happened between us?" She asked.

"Well, he told me what _didn't_ happen." Marguerite replied. "Michael said that you left town and cut off all contact with him." There was slight disapproval in her voice.

"That's right." She admitted. "It's not something I can easily talk about…" Her voice trailed off.

"You do not need to explain to me, Sydney." Mrs. Vaughn put her hand on Sydney's arm and gave it a squeeze. "Whatever it is, I am sure you had a good reason. If my son were not so stubborn, he would realize that you would not have given up so easily on the great love the two of you shared."

"I don't blame him for doubting my feelings." Sydney looked ashamed. "I hurt him. Very badly."

Marguerite Vaughn felt a wave of sympathy for the younger woman. She wanted to say something that would make it better for her. "Sydney, when Michael loves, he loves deeply, with his whole heart." She began. "It started with his father. Michael worshipped the man. He thought his father was the sun and the moon and everything in between." 

Mrs. Vaughn's blue eyes turned thoughtful. "After William died, I did not think it was such a bad thing for Michael to keep up the image of the perfect father he had created. What harm could it do to an eight-year-old boy if I let him idolize his father?"

"But now perhaps, I think I did my son a disservice by not presenting him with a truer picture of his father." The older woman looked regretful. "Michael's father was not perfect by any means. He had his flaws just like any normal human being. The only reason Michael never realized this is because William never got the chance to let his son down."

"I think a lot of kids start out believing that their parents can do no wrong." Sydney said wistfully. "For the longest time, I revered my mother as some sort of saint. When I found out who she really was, it was devastating."

Marguerite nodded. "We expect our heroes to be perfect and so the letdown is much greater when they do something to disappoint us."

"That is why Michael felt it so profoundly when he thought you had left him." She went on. "He was unwilling to face the fact that you can make mistakes just like the rest of us and so instead of trying to understand or figure out why you did what you did, he blamed you for not being the perfect woman he always thought you to be."

The look on Sydney's face remained pensive she let Mrs. Vaughn's words sink into her brain. After a few moments, she exhaled a deep breath and then cleared her throat to speak.

"I have a lot of regrets in my life, Mrs. Vaughn. Too numerous to count." Sydney gave a little shake of her head.

"But it goes without saying that one of my biggest is what I did to your son." Her voice grew thick as the tears clogged the back of her throat. "There were extenuating circumstances involved…issues that I had to overcome, but I still should not have given up. I didn't treat his love for me with the care and respect it deserved and I am truly sorry for that." She looked downcast.

"I believe you, Sydney." Mrs. Vaughn replied softly. "Unfortunately, I am not the person you need to convince of your sincerity."

"Well, actually, you are." Sydney surprised Marguerite by her response. "Michael's still very angry with me and because of that, I don't know if I'll ever get the chance to tell him…everything." She said with some difficulty. "That's why it's important that you believe me when I say that I love him and I only want what's best for him."

Sydney looked Mrs. Vaughn straight in the eye. "Mrs. Vaughn, you have to do something to stop the wedding."

Marguerite was taken aback by Sydney's ominous statement. "What do you mean?" She frowned.

"I mean that the wedding should not take place." She said fervently. "Michael would be making a terrible mistake!"

Mrs. Vaughn's blue eyes narrowed slightly. "What is your reasoning behind this, Sydney? Are you saying this because it is not _you_ he is marrying?" She arched a delicate eyebrow.

"No, it has nothing to do with me." Sydney shook her head and then immediately recanted. "Well, no, that's not exactly true, but I'm not doing this for selfish reasons. I would be thrilled if Michael didn't marry Alice, but mostly for his sake, not mine."

"You talk as if it would be detrimental to my son if he were to marry Alice." Marguerite gave her a sharp look. "How can you possibly know that? You just met her last night. You don't know how they are with each other."

Sydney flushed. She would have to feel out Mrs. Vaughn's regard for her future daughter-in law very carefully. If Vaughn's mother liked Alice and thought she would be a good match for her son, then Sydney could kiss her support goodbye.

"Mrs. Vaughn, I know we've just met, but may I ask you a rather personal question?" Sydney said tentatively.

"I feel as if we have known each other a long time." Marguerite's stance softened slightly. "Ask whatever you like."

Brown eyes met blue eyes head-on. "Are you happy that Michael is marrying Alice?"

Mrs. Vaughn contemplated silently for several moments before replying. "She is not the woman I would have chosen for my son." Her statement was uttered in a very diplomatic but pointed manner. "But it appears she will make him a good wife. Whenever I see them together, they always seem to get along very well."

"I don't doubt that he cares for her." Sydney said slowly. "Michael is a decent, honorable man and I know he wouldn't have proposed to Alice if he didn't believe he was fully committed to her."

"Did Michael give you some indication that he is not fully committed to his fiancée?"

"No, it wasn't him." Sydney replied. "It was her."

Marguerite looked at her in disbelief. "Alice dotes on Michael." 

"No, she's only pretending." She shook her head. "She's only marrying him to get back at him for dumping her six years ago."

"What?" Mrs. Vaughn's blue eyes flashed into protective mode. "How do you know this?"

"Because she told me so last night at the cocktail party." Sydney divulged. "No doubt she regrets it now, but she probably just wanted to throw it in my face that she's going to make his life miserable and I won't be able to do a thing about it."

"I cannot believe that Alice would be so spiteful." Marguerite appeared stunned. "I cannot believe that _anyone_ would be so spiteful."

"When Michael broke up with her, he didn't tell her it was because he realized he had feelings for another woman."  Sydney explained. "He just told her that things weren't working out."

"But she knew it was really because of you?"

"I guess she sensed it somehow that his attention was wandering." She refrained from telling Vaughn's mother exactly how Alice found out about her. Discussing his sex life with his mother was one conversation she didn't want to have. "In any case, Alice thinks that Michael deceived her by becoming attached to another woman while he was still with her. That's when she swore to get even with him."

"It appears to me that she is getting even with the both of you." Marguerite remarked with some dismay. "If Michael and Alice marry, she will become the obstacle between you and your true love."

"That's not my main concern, Mrs. Vaughn. All I care about is that Michael doesn't go through with the wedding. I don't want him to be hurt anymore because of me." Her voice cracked.

"Because of you?" Mrs. Vaughn repeated. "It would be Alice who is doing the hurting."

"She wants to hurt him because he had feelings for me." It pained Sydney to speak in the past tense, but that was all she had to go on at the moment. "She wants to make him regret that he ever loved me."

"Mrs. Vaughn, I'm telling you all of this because I think you're the only one he'll believe." She gave the older woman an imploring look. "I would tell him myself, but Michael distrusts me too much right now to put any faith into what I say."

Marguerite Vaughn let herself absorb this most unsettling information about her son and his bride-to-be. She was fiercely protective of her only child, but at the same time, she believed in letting him make his own mistakes. When he was sixteen, she did not scold him for throwing his hard-earned money away on an old clunker of a car that he bought the day after he received his driver's license. When he talked of joining the CIA like his father before him, she did not try to talk him out of it. It was his life to lead and he had to make his own choices and live with the consequences. 

"Sydney, do you think knowing this information will cause Michael to cancel the wedding?" 

"I would hope so." Sydney replied a bit uncertainly. She couldn't deny that Vaughn and Alice had a bond. What if it was strong enough to withstand something as devious as what Alice had planned? Maybe the snooty debutante would be able to convince him that she'd only come up with her revenge plot because she was hurt, but when push came to shove, she loved him too much to ever go through with it. He just might be vulnerable enough to believe her.  

"If he leaves Alice, would I be correct in assuming that you would want Michael to somehow find his way back to you?" Mrs. Vaughn gave her a perceptive look. Sydney didn't bother to deny her claim. "Is this the way you want it to happen? Do you want him to come back to you because he found out some unsavory news about Alice? Or would you rather it be because of his own volition?"

"Of course I want it to be his choice." She said firmly. "That would be the only way I would know that he's forgiven me."

For some reason, Vaughn's mother looked pleased by her answer. "Then I think you'll understand if I do not share this information with him."

Sydney was confused. "Mrs. Vaughn, I _don't_ understand. I've just told you that Alice is going to make your son's life a living hell and you're not going to do anything to prevent that?"

"Sydney, one thing you should know about me is that as a rule, I do not believe in interfering with my son's life." Marguerite stated flatly. "Michael has always made his own choices. That way, he only has himself to answer to in regard to how things play out."

Sydney frowned. While she could admire Mrs. Vaughn's posture that her son be held responsible for his own actions, she couldn't quite believe that a mother would willingly let her son walk blindly off the edge of a cliff. She had to try one more time.

"But, Mrs. Vaughn--"

Marguerite cut her off (in a polite way, of course). "Sydney, you have pleaded your case to Michael, have you not?"

"Not as well as I could have." She admitted.

"Well, then, you need to get Michael alone and talk to him." Marguerite advised her. "When he has all of the facts, he will come to his own decision."

Sydney looked uncertain. "I wish you could guarantee that he would make the right decision."

"If he follows his heart, it will be." Mrs. Vaughn said with absolute conviction.

_To be continued_…


	11. If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Rid...

When Alice's mother, Elaine Fairchild, came over to find out the name of the attractive young woman Michael's mother was talking to, Sydney figured it was time to say adieu. With a polite smile on her face, she thanked Mrs. Vaughn for her time and then excused herself. Marguerite gave her hand a warm squeeze as they parted company.

Sydney started to head back over to the table where she had left Will, but stopped in her tracks when she saw that he was holding court with some of his CIA buddies. Not wanting to intrude on the "guy talk," she instead wandered back towards the house, unable to resist the alluring sounds of children laughing and playing.

Since none of the kids at the party were actually hers, Sydney thought it might be awkward if she went down to the pool area, so she settled for watching them from afar. She climbed up the steps to the deserted terrace and found a spot against the balustrade upon which to lean. She accepted a tall, cool glass of lemonade from a waiter who was heading down to the pool (he was taking drinks down to the parents who were supervising their kids) and was surprised to find herself getting a little misty as she watched the kids splash around in the pool.

Over the years, Sydney had never given much thought to having children of her own. It wasn't just because her lifestyle couldn't abide by it, but also because the idea just didn't seem very appealing. Based on her own experiences growing up, a child was someone you either abandoned or ignored. She wasn't someone to be nursed through the chicken pox (done by her nanny) or praised at her ballet recital (again, the nanny) or beamed at proudly while she gave her valedictory speech at her high school graduation (okay, she would give her father that one).

Of course, if she were being fair, she had to admit that it wasn't exactly your run-of-the-mill everyday occurrence to be the progeny of a couple of spies on opposite sides of the fence. Her parents had problems before she had even been an inkling in some twisted KGB officer's brain, but still they had tried to give her some semblance of a normal childhood. Too bad for her that they gave up after the first six years of her life.  

With Jack Bristow and Irina Derevko as a pair of less-than-stellar role models, it didn't take much to further cement the idea in Sydney's mind that she should not even think about procreating in order to extend the Bristow line. She wanted to be the kind of parent she always wished she'd had, but Sydney realized that she was just as clueless as her own parents when it came to turning her fantasy of a happy home life into reality. No child deserved to be doomed by the mistakes she would undoubtedly make in raising him or her.

But then there were moments--usually late at night--when she was feeling restless or melancholy or sometimes just because it made her sleep better, Sydney would dream about the life she wanted with Vaughn. She always envisioned them with a big, beautiful house on a wide, tree-lined street. Their home would be comfortable and relaxing and a reflection of their own tastes (Sydney wasn't exactly sure what Vaughn's decorating style was like since she had never been to his apartment, but as long as it didn't resemble a sports bar or a locker room, she would be fine with anything).

A sizeable backyard was a requirement for Sydney. Sometimes she saw the space with a patio set and a couple of lounge chairs situated around a huge swimming pool (perfect for those midnight swims on hot summer nights). Other times she pictured a nice green lawn and a garden filled with blooming flowers or a sweet little vegetable patch where she could do something as blessedly normal as grow her own tomatoes. Of course, in either scenario, there had to be plenty of room in which the kids could run around and play.

There were only two men in her life with whom Sydney had ever imagined herself having children. When Danny had proposed to her so many years ago, it went without saying that they planned to have as many children as they could handle. Danny was always going on and on about the kids he met at the hospital and she had seen firsthand how kind and compassionate he was with them. She used to melt when he would tell her that he wished he could come up with a magic cure-all, so that no child would ever have to spend another night suffering through his or her particular ailment. If Danny had lived, she knew he would have made a great dad.

With Vaughn, Sydney had no such insight. Having children was a personal matter and they tended to avoid discussing topics such as that. Any conversations having to do with their lives outside of work or their wishes for the future after SD-6 was gone were a little too prickly to delve into because they never wanted to get ahead of themselves. Life rarely turned out the way they expected it to and they were bound to be disappointed if they started counting on something that might never be. 

Nevertheless, it didn't stop Sydney from indulging in a little wishful thinking from time to time. Sometimes she would pass by a store window with frilly ruffled dresses or a cute little overall set on display and she could almost picture what her and Vaughn's children would look like in those clothes.

There were always at least two, a girl and a boy. The girl would always be a bit too tall for her age, with long limbs and big soulful brown eyes peeking out from beneath a curtain of waist-long dark brown hair. The thought would come--somewhat wryly to Sydney, as she stood there gazing at the lacy pink flounces and the dotted tulle--that any daughter of hers would probably be a tomboy and turn up her nose at those girly-girl little dresses in which Sydney would try to dress her up. Naturally, Vaughn would dote on their little girl and it wouldn't surprise Sydney in the least if he tried to get their daughter into shoulder pads and ice skates before she was two years old. 

The boy would be a heartbreaker, if his father's looks were to be any judge. His wheat-colored blond hair would probably darken to a sandy brown as he grew older, but he would always have Vaughn's beautiful green eyes and meltingly charming smile. Her son would probably be a hockey fanatic like his dad and his sister and since Sydney didn't want to be left out, she would always think to herself that she should start boning up now on that vast subject known as professional ice hockey, so that she would be ready for when the time came. It made her smile as she pictured how impressed Vaughn would be when terms such as _hat trick _or _power play_ rolled so knowledgeably off her tongue. 

Whenever Sydney particularly felt like torturing herself (it didn't happen often, but everyone goes through their blue moods), sometimes she would put a name to the face. She changed her mind a lot when it came to her daughter's name, but somehow she always came back to the name of Jack William for her son's (she preferred Jack to Jonathan, her father's given name). It seemed a fitting way to pay tribute to the two men who had so greatly influenced what their children's lives would ultimate become. For better or worse, Jack Bristow and William Vaughn had established Sydney's and Vaughn's connection before they ever became aware of each other, when Jack made the tragic mistake of letting Irina Derevko into his life.

But while nothing could be done to alter the path of history, it did not mean that there couldn't be hope for the future. Corny as it sounded, any child Sydney had with Vaughn would be like a symbol that past misdeeds could be forgiven and that love indeed conquered all. The healing could begin with them and their children would only nurture and build upon it.

Now, however, that dream seemed farther away than ever. Vaughn was getting married tomorrow and that meant Jack William might never be born.

"Hey, Syd!" Francie suddenly appeared and gave her a friendly shoulder squeeze. "Are you ditching the grown-up party for the kiddies?" She teased.

Sydney gave her a smile. "Looks as if they're having a lot more fun."

"That's probably true." Francie grinned. She caught Sydney's wistful expression as she gazed down at the children frolicking poolside and raised an eyebrow.

"They're cute, aren't they?" Sydney mused.

"If you like rugrats." Francie wisecracked and then peered closely at her friend. "Is that a biological clock I hear ticking, Syd?"

Sydney blushed. "Well, we are in our thirties now, Francie. Some women our age already have three or four and we don't even have one."

"Yeah, well, those women probably haven't been busy saving the world." She remarked dryly and Sydney smiled.

"You know, Danny wanted to have a whole passel of kids and if he'd lived, we probably would have had a couple of them by now." She gave Francie a sober look. "In the beginning--right after he died--I often wished I had something more than just memories by which to remember him, but truth be told, now I'm kind of relieved that he and I were always careful before we got engaged."

"Given your lifestyle, it would have been hard for you to raise a child." Francie observed. "Especially after Danny's death."

"Oh, I would have quit the spy game if there had been any children involved." Sydney replied. "I wouldn't have had the chance to avenge Danny's murder, but my child would have been my first priority."

"But it would have been tough raising a child by myself." She allowed. "Because of my screwed-up childhood, I'm not sure I would have known the first thing about how to be a good parent back then."

"Well, you would know what _not_ to do." Francie pointed out. "That's something, isn't it?"

"I definitely would not have wanted to revisit Bad Parenting 101, as taught by Jack and Laura Bristow." Sydney gave a little shudder. "But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little afraid that I was destined to follow in their footsteps because I don't know any other way."

Francie gave her a thoughtful look. "Syd, I don't believe for one second that you would be the mother from hell. You just don't have it in you."

"I would hope not." She looked a tad uncertain. "I would hope that I could be the kind of mother that I always wished I had."

"You know, I caught a glimpse of how it could be this past year when I started teaching." Sydney said reflectively. "I met some really great kids and some really great parents and they proved to me that it can be done right. You just need love and support and understanding and hopefully, the right person by your side."

Francie smiled knowingly. "The right person being Michael, I presume."

Sydney's lips curved. "All these months apart from him made me realize one thing, Francie."

"Vaughn's the only person in the world who can make me truly happy." Sydney confessed what was in her heart. "I want to share my life with him. I want to have a home with him and bear his children and grow old with him. I want him to be the first person I see in the morning and the last person I see before I close my eyes at night."

Francie gazed back at her with a sympathetic expression in her dark brown eyes. "If I could, Syd, I would snap my fingers and make Alice disappear off the face of the earth just so that you could have your heart's desire."

"Unfortunately, I'm no magician." She said regretfully. "I'm still placing my money on you, though. If you and Mike really do have that incredible all-consuming love that only comes around once in a lifetime, then I have to believe that he'll come to his senses."

"I guess we can only hope." Sydney said softly.  

Just then, a sudden peal of girlish laughter filled the air. Sydney looked down over the balcony towards the pool area and caught sight of Alice holding an adorable blond tyke in her arms. Even though the kid was squirming in discomfort, Alice had a serene, madonna-like smile plastered on her face as she tried to contain the wiggling little tot. Vaughn was sitting on a nearby lounge chair, watching his fiancée with what looked like an enchanted expression on his face. Of course, Sydney was too far away to see that Vaughn's grin was really just a result of him trying to hold back his amusement. In spite of her obvious efforts to show him otherwise, Alice didn't come across as particularly maternal and the little boy seemed to sense that by the way he kept reaching out to his mother.

But Sydney couldn't see any of that from where she was standing. All she could see was what the future held for Vaughn and his wife-to-be. He and Alice would raise their beautiful children in the lap of luxury. A lump rose in her throat and she suddenly felt stifled, even though she was outside in the fresh air and sunshine with a cool breeze riffling through the trees.

"Francie, I can't take this anymore." Sydney was desperate to find an escape. Her eyes darted to and fro and caught sight of a dirt path that extended behind a row of trees. Wherever it led was better than where she was now. All she wanted was a place where she could just be by herself for awhile.

"Go on and get yourself back together." Francie gave her arm a quick squeeze. Sydney threw her a grateful look and then made a quick retreat. 

Unbeknownst to Sydney, one person out of the assembled throng of people watched as she started down the path that headed towards the stables.

*      *     *     *     *

Sydney's nose told her where she was headed before her eyes did, as she caught the unmistakable pungency of hay and horse manure in the air. As she came around a bend in the road, her eyes lit upon a sturdily built wooden structure that was twice as long as it was wide, with a pair of paneled doors that slid open similarly to those of a bedroom closet.

Since no one seemed to be around, Sydney didn't think anyone would mind if she slipped inside to visit the horses. She'd gone through that pre-teen phase of wanting her own horse (something along the lines of a golden palomino) when she was younger and she'd become a fairly decent horsewoman, thanks to a year of begged-for riding lessons. She probably wasn't as good as Alice--Sydney rolled her eyes at the thought--but then she hadn't grown up as Little Miss Privileged With Her Own Stable Of Horses.

The heavy wooden door slid noiselessly along its well-oiled track as Sydney created an opening large enough for her to slip through. A strong but not unpleasant smell hit her senses, a combination of horse and leather and new-mown hay. As her eyes adjusted from coming out of the bright sunlight into the dim shadow of the stable, she could see that there was space enough to house ten horses, but most of the stalls were empty. There was only one horse currently in residence and Sydney could hear him nickering softly at the far end of the building.

There was a bank of fluorescent lights attached to the roof along the center of the walkway, but Sydney didn't bother to look for a switch. On such a gloriously sunny day, the building had plenty of natural light streaming in, the sun's rays filtered through overhead skylights and a row of small rectangular windows that were spaced at regular intervals down the length of both side walls. Sydney took a moment to study her surroundings and grudgingly admitted to herself that Alice appeared to treat her animals infinitely better than she did her fiancé.

The stable was cool without being drafty, but it was also snug and well-insulated. The supplies were plentiful and well-kept. Bales of hay were stacked in precise columns of three against one wall. The wooden-handled brushes and combs were clean and ready for use. A couple of warm horse blankets were draped casually on one of the stalls and a beautiful leather saddle, waiting to be repaired, sat atop a workbench with leather-working tools arranged neatly on a pegboard.

  
Her footsteps were quiet as Sydney ambled towards the lone horse in the stable. Peeking into each stall as she passed by, she saw that most of the empty stalls were being used for extra storage (old furniture, boxes of worn-out shoes and clothes), but the one closest to the horse was filled with a voluminous amount of sweet-smelling hay. Just the faintest whiff and it was enough to bring back some of Sydney's fondest childhood memories of when she used to eat, breathe and sleep just so that she could ride. Whenever she had been able to get her horse into a full gallop, she used to pretend she was flying and able to leave all of her troubles on the ground below her.

She heard a soft whinny and came face-to-long-face with an imperious-looking stallion that was black as midnight and regal as a king. Sydney was startled at first, but as was typical for her, she was unafraid as she reached out to stroke her hand along his nose while admiring the stallion's wildly untamed mane and noble carriage. In spite of his rather formidable stature, the horse appeared to be as gentle as a lamb 

Sydney's eyes wandered upwards at the shiny brass nameplate above the stall and she had to smile approvingly as she read the horse's name. _King Tut_. It was an entirely appropriate moniker for an animal as impressive as this one.

"Is that why you have this royal palace all to yourself, King Tut?" Sydney crooned to him in a low voice. "Because you rule over all the other horses?"

It was odd the way the mind worked sometimes, but for some reason, seeing King Tut brought forth a flood of memories in Sydney's brain. Maybe it was just the whole Egypt connection, but then again, it didn't take much for her to start reminiscing about that long-ago-but-not-soon-forgotten night in Cairo when the moon had been round and full, the air had smelled like some exotic flower and a spark ignited into a flame.    

** **FLASHBACK** (four years prior) **

Sydney and Dixon had been sent to Cairo, Egypt on a mission for SD-6. Sloane had recently been contacted in regard to a heretofore-unknown Rambaldi manuscript, which was currently in the possession of a wealthy Egyptian businessman named Fahim Mohammed. Sloane and Mohammed were no strangers to each other, having been allies in a number of shady dealings over the past few years. Mohammed was well aware of Sloane's obsession with Rambaldi and he was so convinced that the head of SD-6 would pay handsomely for the priceless artifact that he was willing to give his old cohort in crime the first bidding rights. Of course, Arvin Sloane never paid for what he could easily steal, so he was sending Sydney and Dixon to "relieve" Mohammed of his valuable property.

The CIA was counter-acting the mission by sending Vaughn in as a security guard to Mohammed's corporate offices. Since there was no way for Sydney to secure a copy of the manuscript for the CIA, they were going to get the real thing. She was going to tell Dixon that she had gotten into a fight with one of Mohammed's security guards, who had managed to get the book away from her during the scuffle. In reality, she was going to hand the manuscript off to Vaughn, who would spirit it away for the CIA. When Sydney returned to L.A. to tell Sloane that Mohammed was still in possession of the book, he would realize that he would be immediately suspected of the break-in, thereby quashing any future business dealings with the sure-to-be-angry Egyptian. 

Under the cover of nightfall, Sydney broke into the corporate offices of Fahim Mohammed by pretending to be a cleaning woman. Dixon was in a van located a block away, ready to disarm the security cameras on her command. Sydney and her cart of supplies took the elevator up to the top floor of the high-rise building, where Mohammed's office was located. After ditching the cart in the restroom, Sydney communicated to Dixon that it was time to cut the security monitors. When he responded that the deed was done, she told him she was going radio silent and then slipped into Mohammed's office with her cleaning woman's passkey.

She knew the safe was behind the portrait of Mohammed's father. She quickly crossed the room in her sensible thick-soled shoes and hastily attached Marshall's handy-dandy code descrambler to the front of the wall safe. Numbers started whizzing by as the combination underwent the process of being broken.

Sydney checked her watch and then turned her comm unit back on, even though she didn't have anything to say to Dixon at this point. Vaughn was supposed to appear with another of the guards in about three minutes during one of their routine security walk-throughs. When they discovered her in the office, she and Vaughn were supposed to stage a fight--which Dixon would hear--before they took out the guard who was accompanying Vaughn. After a few random gunshots (which Dixon would also be able to verify if Sloane asked him about it later on), Sydney and Vaughn would both escape down the service elevator with the manuscript in hand.

The code descrambler pinged and Sydney turned the handle to the safe. The door opened without a protest and she spied the crudely bound volume with its aged parchment pages. She did a quick skim just to be sure she had the real thing and then gingerly wrapped the book inside of the packing blanket hidden in the garbage bag she had brought into the office with her.

"I've got it, Dixon." She whispered just as the office door burst open and the lights flickered on overhead. Standing in the doorway with their guns drawn were Vaughn and _three_ other security guards. Momentarily taken aback by the extra men that weren't supposed to be there, she threw her hands in the air, catching Vaughn's eye as she did so. He looked tense as he held his gun on her, but their gazes managed to communicate what they needed to say to each other.

One of the security guards walked over to the open safe while another started barking at her in Arabic, asking her who she was and what she was doing. Sydney gave one last cut of her eyes at Vaughn before placing a good solid kick into the solar plexus of the man in front of her. Vaughn immediately went to work on the security guard next to him and she heard the _CRACK_! as the butt of his gun connected with the man's skull.

Sydney had her hands full as it was two against one, but Vaughn's guy was as big as a mountain, so she had to give him a little slack. She was able to swiftly dodge and duck while getting in a few well-placed jabs and kicks, knocking out one of the guards as she threw him up against the wall. But then the other caught hold of her by the neck, cutting off her windpipe and making it hard for her to breathe. She couldn't even call out to Vaughn to help her because Dixon was still listening in and it would blow her cover.

Sydney suddenly heard a loud thud and realized that Vaughn's man had finally been vanquished into unconsciousness. A few seconds later, the arm that held her captive loosened its grip on her and she fell to her knees, coughing and trying to catch her breath. She could only watch in awe as Vaughn deftly landed a few uppercuts to the jaw before felling his opponent with a wicked knee in an area where it would hurt the most.

Vaughn was breathing heavily from his exertion, but he managed to stagger over to her side. Before he said anything, she held a finger to her lips to stop him.

"Dixon? Dixon, can you hear me?" Sydney asked urgently.

"Yes, yes, I can, Syd." Dixon's tinny voice came over her earpiece. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"I was jumped, Dixon. There were too many of them and I was barely able to get out." She paused a moment to catch her breath. "I'm in the emergency exit stairwell now and I'll meet you at the extraction point as soon as I can."

"Are you sure you don't want me to wait for you?"

"Yes, I'm positive." Sydney said firmly. "Just go and I'll be there soon."

"All right, Syd."

When Dixon signed off, Sydney accepted Vaughn's outstretched hand to help her get back on her feet. She immediately ripped off the comm unit and stomped on it with her shoe.

"Are you sure you're okay, Sydney?" Vaughn asked, his eyes full of concern.

"I'm fine." She gave him a weak smile. Her throat still felt a little raw and her body ached, but it was all in a day's work. "Come on, we better get out of here." She ran to retrieve her garbage bag while he closed the safe and moved the portrait back to its original position.

Sydney had just closed the door to the office when they heard shouts coming from around the corner and down the hall. They were effectively cut off from the elevators, so they dove into the stairwell, taking the steps at a fast clip, thankful that the building was only sixteen stories high.

As they reached the twelfth-story landing, they heard a commotion above them and realized that they were being followed down the stairs. Sydney's mind raced as she contemplated the ambush that might be waiting for them at the bottom. 

When they came upon the ground floor, Vaughn headed for the red emergency exit door. Sydney grabbed his arm to stop him. 

"Wait, what if they're all waiting for us outside?" She glanced up nervously at the clambering footsteps above their heads.

"What else would you suggest? There are only two ways out of the building."

Sydney's sharp eyes caught sight of the rectangular shape in Vaughn's shirt pocket. She whispered her instructions in his ear before darting through the door that led out into the main lobby. No one paid her any mind as she casually strolled right through to the service exit with her full-to-the-bursting-point bag of rubbish.

Ten minutes later, Sydney and Vaughn met up in a nearby park.

"So they weren't suspicious of you?" She asked him.

"I played it very cool." He assured her. "They thought it was perfectly reasonable that I should want to go outside for a smoke." He gave a little shrug. "And then when the guys who were chasing us came out, it was easy for me to slip away in all the commotion."

Sydney grinned. "No one noticed me, either, when I headed out to the dumpster to throw away my trash bag."

Vaughn found it hard to believe that anyone could fail to notice Sydney, even in her cleaning woman get-up, but it just goes to show how invisible a person can be if they're in their natural environment. 

"I have to say that you did some pretty fancy fighting back there, Vaughn." Sydney's brown eyes were twinkling merrily at him.

Vaughn gave her a modest look. "Well, I have to keep up with you, don't I?"

"You know, it's funny you should say that because that one move of yours encroached quite dangerously into my territory." She kept on needling him. "Can I ask where in the world that came from?"

"I don't know if I want to tell you, judging by the astonished tone in your voice." He pretended to be miffed. "Don't I hold my own most of the time?"

"Of course you do." She hid a smile. "I guess I just never realized you were so…agile."

"Syd, you swore you would never mention that incident ever again!" Vaughn said, mock threateningly. "Just because I slipped that one time…" He grumbled.

"Vaughn! Vaughn, I'm sorry!" She meekly acquiesced to his demands, but sported a huge grin on her face. "I know I promised I wouldn't bring up the Everglades story again, but every time I think about you in the swamp and those alligators!" She shook her head, unable to hold in her laughter.

"I've come a long way since then." He said superciliously. "You want me to prove it to you?" A gleam came into his eye.

"How?" Sydney murmured, intrigued in spite of herself. 

"Jump me."

She did a double-take. "What?"

"You heard me." Vaughn's sensual lips curved, the low rumble of his voice sending shivers down her spine.

"You want me to fight you?"

"Not fight." He corrected her. "Spar, maybe." 

Sydney suddenly felt all of her senses going wildly out of control. Was it the challenge or the thrill or simply the very nearness of him? "Vaughn, we don't have time for this…" She protested rather weakly. 

"Running scared, Syd?" He uttered softly, daring her. If there was one thing he knew about Sydney Bristow, it was that she didn't back down when the gauntlet was thrown.

Sydney could feel the blood begin to pump within her veins. "You're going to wish you hadn't said that, Vaughn." Her eyes danced and Vaughn felt his heart do a flip-flop inside his chest right before she lunged at him.

Neither of them was aiming to hurt or even bruise during their exercise and Sydney found herself impressed as Vaughn was able to block most of her offensive moves with a defensive one of his own. She got in a few solid hits, but she had to admit she was very easily distracted by the fact that this was the most prolonged act of touching that had ever transpired between them and part of her was torn that she was actually trying to fend him off. _Don't be an idiot, Syd_! Her mind was yelling at her. _Stop fighting and give in_!

Sydney was so busy battling between her competitive nature and the little voice inside of her head that she didn't even know how it happened that Vaughn suddenly had her pinned up against a tree. They were both breathing heavily at this point, but it didn't take a genius to realize that it wasn't all due to their physical exertion.

"Not bad, Vaughn." Sydney drawled, looking him straight in the eyes. With Vaughn's face less than three inches away from hers, there was no other place for her to look. Not that she was complaining, of course.

"Not bad?" He looked mildly affronted. "I think I should get a lot more credit than that for being able to overpower the great Sydney Bristow." He smiled, displaying his even white teeth.

Sydney felt her knees weakening. "Who said anything about overpowering?" She was still defiant even in the face of defeat. 

"Aren't I the one who has the upper hand here?"

Her expression softened and her pulse quickened. "That depends on what your next move is."

Vaughn was looking at Sydney with an admiring glint in his eye. She was so beautiful. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were lit by an inner fire. His gaze fell to her lips, lush and full and parted ever-so-slightly. She had proven herself to be the most irresistible temptation he had ever faced and never more so than at that moment.

"What are you waiting for, Vaughn?" Sydney murmured provocatively, daring him with her seductive tone. "Are you going to make your move or not?"

He didn't need much more encouragement than that to do the one thing he had been longing to do from the first moment he had laid eyes on Sydney Bristow. Vaughn released Sydney only enough so that he could take her into his arms and then bent his head to capture her lips with his own.

His heart was pounding as he tasted the sweetness of her lips for the first time. He felt Sydney arching her body against his and his arms tightened around her, wanting her to be close and wishing she could be closer. Vaughn could feel himself drowning in Sydney, her scent and her taste and her touch. If he didn't know it before, he knew it now that she was the only woman in the world for him and he would feel that way until his dying day.

Nothing could have prepared Sydney for what it would feel like when Vaughn kissed her for the first time. He probably would have been embarrassed to find out just how often she'd thought about it and truth be told, her fantasies weren't anywhere close to the reality. At first, Vaughn was gentle and hesitant as his mouth explored hers, but as the passion between them grew, his ardor inspired him to become bolder and more insistent. His hands roamed over her body, inflaming her with every caress, and she sought to drink him in as deeply as she could. 

When they finally broke apart, Sydney and Vaughn both had to stop to catch their breath so intense was their kiss. Vaughn was looking at her as if he wanted to say something, but the words were somehow failing him.

"Please don't say it." She implored him in an agonized whisper, placing a finger against his lips. "Please don't apologize for what just happened."

He gave her a look of surprise and a smile played about his lips as the lines around his eyes crinkled. Vaughn reached up to gently move her hand away from his mouth. "It never even crossed my mind to apologize, Sydney. To make an apology signals regret and I don't regret what just happened."

A sudden warmth suffused her body and Sydney gave Vaughn her brilliant, full-wattage smile. "I'm so glad to hear you say that."

****END FLASHBACK****

That was when everything had changed for Sydney. Her quest to rid the world of SD-6 became less about revenge and justice and survival and more about the right to have the future she deserved with the man she loved.

Sydney was suddenly jolted out of her reverie by the sound of a quiet footfall behind her and she whirled around, her eyes widening when she saw who it was.

"What are you doing here, Michael?"

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: Thanks to everyone for your continued support and encouragement.

P.S. to Jennifer Campbell: Always enjoy reading your insights. Just to answer your question from your last review, I'm picturing Vaughn in a more administrative position these days (remember it's some time in the future and he's been promoted), so I'm thinking that it's okay for him to tell Alice where he really works.  I'm don't think that everyone who works for the CIA has to lie about it, just maybe those in deep cover, which Vaughn no longer is.  Thanks for bringing it up.

P.S. to Jubilee: Ask and ye shall receive. (I thought it was funny that you would ask about Cairo when I was just in the middle of writing it.)


	12. Losing Your Heart

**Author's Note**: In honor of tonight's episode, which I am so dying to see, here's the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!

One scene in this chapter is **R-**rated.  Please read at your own discretion or skip it if it offends you.

*     *     *     *     *

Vaughn stood about ten feet away from her, far enough that Sydney had to raise her voice in order to be heard yet close enough that she could still feel the aura of his pain and bewilderment as it surrounded them both like a noxious puff of smoke. It made her ache inside to know that she had caused him so much anguish when he was the last person in the world that she ever wanted to hurt.

As they silently contemplated each other's presence, neither of them could deny what had brought them to this point in time. As hard as he had tried to fight it, Vaughn was inexplicably drawn to Sydney, his desire for her overriding what little common sense he had left. His head kept telling him to stay as far away from her as he could, but his heart refused to listen. _There's a reason Sydney is here_. _Are you man enough to face up to it_?

Sydney's breath quickened as she saw Vaughn's gaze sweep over her. His deep-seated anger towards her had done nothing to diminish her powerful attraction to him and even now she could feel herself longing to be close to him, to have him take her in his arms and stroke her hair and whisper that he loved her. But as it was--with him standing there looking so cold and aloof--she would probably have to settle for their last moment together to end in a war of harsh words and wounded feelings.

"What am I doing here?" Vaughn repeated in a quizzical tone as if he wasn't quite sure how to respond. "I was just about to ask you the same question." He said by way of a stalling tactic.

He caught her off-guard with his mild-mannered demeanor. After last night, she had expected to be on the receiving end of barely disguised hostility once again and it threw her when she didn't get it.

"I-I was here first." Sydney stammered out, sounding rather juvenile in tone. "_You're _the one invading my space."

"I was down at the pool when I saw you take off." Vaughn's candor surprised her. "You looked upset."

"And that concerns you how?" She inquired sharply. Her emotions were still a bit raw from the previous evening's tirade and combined with Alice's ragging on her during lunch, Sydney's attitude came across as slightly belligerent. "You made it perfectly clear to me last night that my feelings mean nothing to you."

Vaughn's face flushed. "I-I…was…in shock when I saw you." He stumbled over his words. "Some of the things I said may not have been a true reflection of my feelings."

"Oh, I kind of think they were." Her tone was rueful. "You've had a whole year to figure out what you wanted to say to me when we saw each other again and I think you accomplished your task quite eloquently." Sarcasm tinged her statement.

"Syd, let's not fight, okay?" He tried to placate her. "That's not why I followed you down here."

"Speaking of which, you still haven't explained that."

"I guess it's an old habit I still haven't been able to break." Vaughn replied, a bit testily. "When I see that you're upset, I immediately go into fix-it mode."  

His sober response caused Sydney to lose just a touch of her bravado. Of course, it didn't stop her from coming back with an acerbic retort. "Well, let me help you out by saying that it's no longer in your job description to provide solace for your frequently overwrought, over-emotional agent."

"You, Syd? Over-emotional?" His smartass tone made Sydney look up in surprise and for a moment, she almost thought she saw him trying to keep a straight face. A ray of hope pierced through the bleakness in her heart, causing her to wonder if there was still a glimmer of a chance for them.

"So why did you look so lost in thought just now?" He asked, sounding curious rather than curt. "You didn't even hear me come in until I was practically right behind you."

Sydney's mouth quirked as she pondered whether he could handle the truth. "To be perfectly honest with you, I was thinking about Cairo." She replied with an air of insolence.

His green eyes flickered briefly. "Don't try to manipulate me by bringing that up."

"I'm not." Her voice was indignant. "You asked me a question. I answered it."

Even though they were miles away and many months past, Vaughn could still remember that hot, steamy evening as if it were yesterday. It was a memory he had replayed over and over in his mind, probably too many times than was healthy for him.

The air had been oppressively hot and humid as he and Sydney had acted out their little mating dance, but he had not even been aware of it, so engrossed was he in everything that had to do with her. He could still picture her so clearly, her slim figure clad in that drab little gray smock, but still managing to look sexy as hell. The look in her warm brown eyes had been trusting and inviting, as if she were telling him that she had wanted it to happen, too.

A feeling of pure joy had flooded his entire being when he kissed Sydney for that first time; it was as if everything had suddenly fallen into place and they were where they were always meant to be. Somewhere in the back recesses of his mind, Vaughn knew that he would probably never be able to ascend to that level of euphoria ever again, no matter if he and Alice spent the next fifty years together as man and wife.

The sound of Sydney's voice made Vaughn drag himself back to the present. "I'm sorry. What were you saying?" His face felt warm and he was glad Sydney could not read his thoughts.

"I was asking you why King Tut is the only horse in this stable." She said patiently

"King Tut?" He repeated in a confused manner and then he suddenly got the connection. "Is that why--oh." He became flustered when he realized she had been telling the truth about Cairo. "These are…um…the old stables. All of the other horses have been moved to the new one, but he prefers it here. Tut's an old guy, anyway, so Alice's mother just lets him do what he wants." He explained.

"I see." Sydney suddenly felt self-conscious under Vaughn's gaze and nervously pushed a lock of her hair back behind her ear. Her reflexive gesture did not go unnoticed by Vaughn.

"You know, Alice is uncomfortable with your being here." He made the comment just to say something.

She gave him a look that said, "And I should care why?"

"Syd," Vaughn chastised her in a mild tone. "It's her wedding. She just wants everything to be perfect."

"Everyone seems to be having a good time."

"They are, but she's not. It's not easy to have your fiancé's ex--" He suddenly stopped short. He couldn't exactly call Sydney an "ex." To do so would imply that she had ever been a "current," which she most certainly never was. In any case, his pause became too pregnant to ignore and she pounced.

"Her fiancé's what?" Sydney threw back at him. "Her fiancé's ex-agent? Ex-colleague? Ex-co-worker? Whatever we were was never truly defined."

"That's because you and I were only dealing in possibilities, not realities." Vaughn's reply held a touch of sadness. "There was never anything about us to define."

Sydney's temper flared up. "How can you say that?" She burst out. They may not have acknowledged their affinity for each other with heartfelt declarations of love and commitment, but he couldn't say that the bond between them had been completely non-existent. "You can't deny that we had something between us, Michael. We just never got the chance to figure out what that was."

"And whose fault was that?" He muttered under his breath, too low for her to hear. "Sydney, why are you here?" His tone was blunt.

"Why do you keep asking me that?" She countered, a bit heatedly. "Can't a girl go off by herself without someone making a federal case out of it?"

"I don't mean here in the stables." Vaughn said evenly. "I mean here at a party my fiancée and I are hosting on the day before our wedding."

Sydney winced. _My_ _fiancée_. _Our_ _wedding_. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was like being stabbed in the heart with a dull blade. "Will's invitation said he could bring a guest." She replied, struggling to maintain her dignity. "I'm his guest."

Vaughn felt a twinge in spite of himself. Sydney and Will had looked awfully friendly last night at the cocktail party and they were both currently unattached at the moment. He knew that weddings were seen as prime occasions for hooking up with someone--either with a person you just met or with an old friend. Was either one of them hoping that being together in an environment supposedly filled with love and hope and wedded bliss would generate some romantic sparks of their own?

A muscle in his jaw twitched. No matter that Will was his friend, Vaughn still didn't want him to be with Sydney. Of course, he wouldn't let himself explore the reasons why. To do that would force him to examine his own feelings of jealousy and longing and regret and he wasn't so sure he was strong enough to do that. He didn't want his life to go spiraling out of his control again and he was afraid there was a good chance of that happening if he let himself get caught up in his yearning for a woman who had hurt him so deeply.

"Did Will invite you to the wedding? Is that how you found out about me and Alice?" Vaughn looked perturbed. Even though they had only recently become close in the last year, he had thought that his friendship with Will was pretty solid. He didn't want to believe that Will was trying to stir up trouble for him in an unconscious effort to get back at Vaughn for 'taking' Sydney away from him all those years ago. It was a pointless exercise, anyway, because Sydney had never really been either of theirs for the 'taking.'

"No." Sydney looked up at him. "It was my own decision to come back here."

"So if Will didn't tell you, who did?" He persisted. "I know that Francie didn't even have a clue that you and I knew each other and Eric knows I would've killed him if he'd stuck his big nose into my business, so I can't imagine how you found out."

"Three days ago, an invitation to your wedding appeared in my mailbox." Her gaze never left his face. "That was my cue to pack a bag and come down here." 

Vaughn looked stunned. "Who would send you an invitation to my wedding?"

"I don't know." She shook her head. "I've been trying to figure that out myself."

"Well, it wasn't me." He said unnecessarily.

"Oh, I'm well aware of that." Sydney gave him a pointed look and he felt his face flush.

"Well, somebody wanted you here." Vaughn was disturbed that some unknown force was trying to play puppetmaster with their lives. "Frankly, I'm surprised you even bothered." The old hurt he was nursing made a sudden reappearance.

"Are we going to go through that again?" She asked with a hint of impatience.  "I don't want to fight with you, either, Michael. Not when there are other more important subjects that we need to talk about."

"I don't know what more we have to say to each other, Sydney." Vaughn looked at her, his forehead wrinkling as he frowned. "You know that old saying, 'Actions speak louder than words?' Well, yours said more than I ever wanted to hear."

His face suddenly closed off and he started to back away from her. "This was a mistake, coming after you like this. I shouldn't have--I don't know why…" Vaughn held a hand out as if to ward off an evil spirit before abruptly turning on his heel, kicking up a little dust cloud as he did so.

Even though she was standing in a shaft of sunlight streaming in through one of the skylights, Sydney felt her body go ice-cold. "No, Michael, please wait!" She called out, her voice plaintive and just a tad desperate.

He stopped in his tracks, although he did not turn around to face her. Sydney gave a silent prayer of thanks. "Please, Michael, if you're going to go through with this wedding, that's fine. It's your life and I don't have any right to tell you how to live it."

"But if I ever meant anything to you, please allow me to say what I have to say." Sydney choked down the lump rising in her throat. "Because I can't stand having you think that I never really cared about you. Nothing could be further from the truth."

Vaughn slowly turned around, unable to just walk away. With a sinking feeling in his gut, he came to the realization that he would always be powerless against Sydney's considerable charms, a weakness that would probably doom him for all eternity. She would haunt him until his last breath on earth.  

"What _is_ the truth, Sydney?" His tone was weary. 

"I-I won't bore you with all of the gory details, but the fact of the matter is that I…I suffered through a bit of a mental collapse last summer." Sydney could barely stammer out the words and it showed in the stiltedness of her speech. "I…lost touch…with everyone and everything around me."

Vaughn's body turned numb when he heard Sydney's confession, his thoughts a mixed jumble inside of his head. _How could this be_? _Sydney had a nervous breakdown_? After everything she had gone through in the five years he had known her, he had always thought her to be the strongest person he had ever known. How could this have happened to her?

"How?" He uttered uncomprehendingly."It doesn't seem possible that you could ever lose control of your life."

"I wouldn't have thought so, either." She said with a self-conscious shrug. "You remember how I always used to say to you that I was very good at compartmentalizing my emotions?" Sydney looked at Vaughn, trying to see behind the stoic expression on his face. "It was my way of dealing with all of the crap that got thrown at me over the years."

"But I think the destruction of SD-6 must have triggered some kind of dam break in my head. All of the terrible things that I struggled so long to keep contained suddenly broke through the barrier and I could no longer keep my head above water." To her complete horror, Sydney started tearing up, those same feelings of helplessness that had overwhelmed her the year before doing their black magic on her emotions once again.

"And I wasn't there to save you from drowning." He murmured in a voice too low for her to hear, castigating himself without reason.

Sydney was speaking again, doing her best to maintain her composure. If she could just keep talking, maybe it would stem the onslaught of her tears. "Everything just came pouring out like a great big flood. Danny's murder and Sloane's lies and my mother's secret past as a KGB agent. Then there was Noah and Emily and my father's involvement in Project Christmas. The list just went on and on and on and I guess I cracked because I just couldn't process all of it." She hastily swiped at her eyes before Vaughn could notice the dampness on her cheek. 

Vaughn looked up just in time to see Sydney brush her fingertips across her face and his heart went out to her. He knew how proud she was and he could see that it was difficult for her to admit her shortcomings, even to him. But she had to know that it didn't change his perception of her.

"Syd, please don't beat yourself up over what happened to you." She could hear the compassion in his voice and her lip trembled. "It's not as if you wished it upon yourself."  

"I know better than anyone about all you had to deal with during the last five years and you can't blame yourself for finally allowing it to affect you. You were under an enormous amount of stress and strain for a very long time." Vaughn paused. "Any normal human being probably would have buckled within the first six months and the fact that you lasted five years is mind-boggling to me."

"Then again, I don't know why I should have been so surprised." Something akin to awe crept into his voice. "You were the great Sydney Bristow, the bravest, most fearless person I'd ever known." He gave her a little smile.

"But I'm not that person, Michael." She shook her head. "If I were stronger, I wouldn't have let it all get to me. I would have been able to fight it." Sydney burst out in frustration, her chin falling onto her chest as she was unable to meet his gaze for fear of seeing a look of disillusionment in his eyes.

"Sydney--" Vaughn was about to try to prop her up again when it suddenly hit him that it would do no good. Feeding her another Wonder Woman line wasn't going to make her feel any better because she was never going to believe it about herself. Sydney had come to the conclusion that the events of last summer had rendered her into something less than the extraordinary woman she was and all of his confidence-boosting platitudes in the world just weren't going to cut it. 

A distressing thought began to burrow its way into his brain and Vaughn took a moment to ponder its validity. He had made no secret of the fact that he had always held her in the highest regard. Sydney had been one of the finest agents he had ever worked with and he often told her so, making it a point to shower her with praise after every successfully completed mission. Part of his intent was simply to congratulate her on a job well done, but on a purely selfish note, he also just liked to bask in the glow that appeared on her face every time he would tell her how impressed he was with her.

But what if his self-confessed admiration for her had done more harm than good? He had always thought he was just playing the role of a supportive friend and colleague, but he could see how Sydney might assume that he really believed all of the hype. If she thought he saw her as some sort of paragon who was perfect and could do no wrong, she would no doubt try her damnedest to live up to his wholly unrealistic expectations because that was the way she was. Sydney was an extreme over-achiever, eager to please the people who mattered the most to her, and for better or worse, she had him listed as a member of that exclusive club.

Her spirit had to have been crushed last summer when she realized the damage that had been done to their relationship, due to a turn of events over which she had no control. Sydney presumably thought her actions unforgivable; no apology would ever be sincere or heartfelt enough to make up for disappointing him. That was probably why she had waited so long to tell him what had happened to her, because she had been afraid he would no longer see her the way he once did.

_Oh, God, I've been blaming Sydney all this time and I'm just as much at fault as she is_,Vaughn thought to himself, closing his eyes with a somewhat agonized expression on his face. Over the years, he had built her up in his mind to be some sort of superheroine, a one-woman army impervious to the slings and arrows that would normally fell all but the truly exceptional. 

But the truth was, Sydney was merely flesh-and-blood just like everybody else, subject to the same vagaries of human frailty that touch us all, and he was an idiot to ever have believed otherwise. 

Vaughn opened his eyes and saw Sydney standing there, her gaze firmly attached to the ground and her arms wrapped around her body like a protective shield. The emotions were churning inside him as he took a tentative step towards her.

"I've suddenly realized what a complete and utter fool I've been." His words came out in a shaky whisper.

Sydney slowly raised her head to look at him. "What?" She asked warily, unsure of his intent.

"I put you up on a pedestal, Sydney, and that was wrong of me." Vaughn shook his head, feeling ashamed. "I had you labeled as my ideal woman, someone who was strong and smart and sweet and beautiful. If you asked Eric, he'd tell you in great detail how I used to 'worship at the altar that was Sydney,' as he would put it." He gave her a slightly embarrassed look. "I think that's where I started to run into trouble."

"I'm not sure I know what you mean, Michael." 

Vaughn expelled a deep breath before speaking again. "You know, my mom once told me that I suffered from delusions of grandeur where my dad was concerned. Yes, he was loyal to his job and faithful to his wife and loving to his son, but that didn't necessarily mean he was the saint I made him out to be."

"The job made him moody and withdrawn at times and that in turn caused him to be short-tempered with my mother. Their disagreements never amounted to much more than the raised voices-stage and they did a stellar job keeping it from me, but learning about this other side of him made me realize that he wasn't a perfect man." Vaughn looked at Sydney with a thoughtful expression on his face. "He had his share of bad days and good days and he made mistakes, just like the rest of us."

"I'm guilty of tarring you with the same feather, Sydney." His visage turned troubled. "I expected you to live up to this image of perfection I had conjured up in my head, not realizing that I was setting us both up to fail."

"Because none of us is without flaws, Syd, and it kills me that you would rather hide yours than run the risk of disappointing me." Vaughn met Sydney's gaze. "Is that why you never told me about your--what happened to you last summer?" By the way she imperceptibly flinched when he almost said the word _breakdown_, Vaughn could see that it still made Sydney uncomfortable to talk about it. "I'd always thought we could tell each other anything." He gave her a mournful look.

"I'm sorry." She croaked out. "When I finally got my act together, I wanted to call you. I must've picked up the phone every five minutes only to lose my nerve before I could punch in the last number."

"I _was_ afraid to tell you." Sydney admitted and then winced when she saw the devastated look on Vaughn's face. "Michael, it wasn't because I thought you wouldn't sympathize with me." She said hastily. "You've always shown me great kindness and compassion and I had no reason to think you'd treat me otherwise."

"Then what was it?" Vaughn asked in an urgent voice.

"I wanted to be that ideal woman you always pictured me to be because I knew how you felt about her." Her words came out ragged. "I didn't know how you'd react to plain old Sydney with all of my faults and defects."

"I thought that finding out what I went through would make you see me differently." She went on in a small voice. "I thought it would change the way you felt."

"That could never happen, Syd." His response was automatic.

"How could I be sure of that?" She questioned him. "Except for Cairo, all those years we spent working together, we always tried so hard to keep our feelings under wraps. We never actually talked about what we wanted from each other after SD-6 was dead and buried."

"There was no way we could do that, Sydney." He said soberly. "It's not a smart idea to base all of your hopes and dreams on something that might never happen."

"But then it did happen."

"And we still managed to mess it up."

Hearing Vaughn sound so sad and defeated turned Sydney's waterworks on again. She couldn't stand it that they were like on two opposite sides of a very wide chasm, unable to reach out to each other because they didn't know how the other would respond. They both had been operating under misconceptions, him not believing in the depth and breadth of her feelings for him and her uncertain that he could ever look at her in the same way after finding out that she was far from the epitome of perfection he had built her up to be. 

So where did they go from here? Where could they go? Vaughn was still on the verge of marrying someone else unless she could overcome her fears and doubts and simply say what was in her heart.

"Michael, from the bottom of my heart, I'm very sorry for the way we've ended up. I'm sorry I didn't put enough faith in you and I'm sorry I didn't have enough faith in myself. Maybe it's a byproduct from all my years working at SD-6, when we had to struggle so long and so hard just to achieve the smallest victories. That tends to wear you down, you know, continually building your hopes up only to see them dashed." The back of her throat began to tickle.

"I've wanted you and I've waited for you for so long." Sydney confessed to a surprised Vaughn. "And I knew I wouldn't be able to deal with it if you rejected me because you now saw me as less than perfect." She suddenly let out an involuntary sob and turned away from him.

His heart wrenched as Vaughn watched Sydney, her shoulders heaving and her body shaking as the tears spilled from her eyes. In that moment, he couldn't remember why he had ever been angry with her; all he wanted to do was hold her and comfort her.

God, she had promised herself she wouldn't break down like this. At least not in front of him. Crying was like the ultimate manipulation tactic. Women since the beginning of time had used it in order to get their way and Sydney had always sworn that she would never stoop so low.

And the irony of it all was that she wasn't trying to gain Vaughn's sympathy. She was simply letting it all out after three days of worrying and fretting and agonizing. Somewhat mirthlessly, Sydney wondered to herself if she had learned something from her mistakes, after all. Instead of keeping her emotions bottled up inside of her until they erupted like a volcano, she was now a sniveling, blubbering mess.

"Syd?" All of a sudden, Sydney felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't touch me." She shrugged him away. "I'm not crying because I want you to feel sorry for me."

"Then why are you crying?" His voice was surprisingly tender as he gently maneuvered her so that she was now facing him.

"Because I feel sorry for myself." She whined in a petulant tone. _Oh, great_! _Could she sound more like a cantankerous five-year-old who wasn't getting her own way_?

Vaughn let out an amused chuckle. Sydney always looked so damned appealing when she wept. Some women became all red and splotchy; she just turned into a fragile, dewy-eyed beauty.

"Oh, Syd, I don't care why you're crying." He wrapped his arms around her and she didn't have the strength to fight him off (not that she would have, anyway). "I just want you to stop." He crooned. "You know how I always hate to see you cry."

Sydney closed her eyes and buried her head against his shoulder. He felt so solid to lean against and she couldn't remember the last time she had felt so safe, so contented.

Vaughn held Sydney until her body no longer trembled and her sobs were reduced to a muted whimper. He felt the silkiness of her hair against his cheek as he breathed in the intoxicating fragrance of her perfume and he closed his eyes, wishing that the moment would never end and knowing all the while that it had to.

Eventually, Sydney lifted her head to look up at him. He reluctantly loosened his hold on her, but to his surprise, she didn't move away. Vaughn gulped nervously as the mood in the room suddenly intensified, sending a wave of emotions through his frazzled brain. He knew he shouldn't be feeling this way, but God help him he wanted her at that moment more than he had ever wanted her before.

Almost as if it had a mind of its own, Vaughn's hand reached up to rest against the base of Sydney's throat, his fingers splayed as he dangled the garnet pendant that hung so delicately around her neck. "I can't believe you still have this." He breathed softly.

"Why would you think I would ever let it go?" She asked quietly. "I've treasured every gift you've ever given me, Michael."

"There haven't been that many." He protested modestly.

Sydney gave him a little smile. "It's not the quantity, it's the quality. Everything you've given me has been from your heart." She touched his face, her fingertips tracing the set of his jaw. "And that includes your heart, doesn't it?" She whispered.

"Syd…" Vaughn said weakly.

"Michael, I love you." She cut him off before he could say anything to stop her. "I know that's the first time I've ever said it out loud, but the truth is that I have loved you for a very long time." Her eyes welled up again, thankful that she had finally gotten the chance to tell him.

The moment he heard Sydney say the word "love," Vaughn knew he was a goner. He couldn't stop himself as he began to kiss her tears away, his tongue tasting the salt of those tears as he slid his lips across the plane of her cheekbone. Sydney closed her eyes and a moan escaped from her lips. Her senses were crying out for him, aching for his touch, yearning for his embrace.

Suddenly his lips were upon hers and it was as if something had exploded between the two of them. Years of pent-up longing and frustration had been unleashed and they both gave into it freely. Vaughn crushed Sydney against his chest as they both sought to make up for lost time.

Sydney found herself falling--literally--into a pile of freshly raked hay, but for all she was aware of, it might have been the softest featherbed. Their clothes were quickly discarded as hands explored and legs intertwined. His every caress inflamed her to the core of her being, surprising and delighting her with its intensity. He reveled in the scent of her hair and the sweetness of her lips. Vaughn had fantasized so many times about making love to Sydney and one glance at her exquisite body was enough to drive him crazy with desire. They came together with reckless abandon, made all the more powerful by the passionate desires that consumed them.

Afterwards, they laid next to each other under an old horse blanket, their bodies close but curiously not touching. Vaughn was confused as hell and Sydney wasn't sure what it all meant, either. Vaughn had just made love to her on the day before he was to be married to another woman. Would that finally make him see that going through with the wedding would be a gigantic mistake? He would at least have to admit that there was still something between them; he couldn't possibly sweep it under the rug and pretend that it didn't exist.

As Vaughn slowly found his way back from blissed-out fantasy to cold, stark reality, he was unable to find the words that could express the wild range of emotions he was experiencing after making love to Sydney for the first time. He was at a loss to explain how he could go from feeling incredibly euphoric to unbelievably guilty in the span of a few moments.

His thoughts turned quite naturally to Alice and the wedding that was to take place the next day. How was he going to be able to face his fiancée after what he had just done? She would probably take one look at him and his culpability would be apparent without him having to say a word.

Vaughn struggled to ascertain from where his feelings of guilt were stemming. Was his remorse due to the fact that he had betrayed a woman he professed to love or because he had derived an inordinate amount of pleasure from an act with the woman he really did love? If it was the former, he didn't know how he would ever be able to make it up to Alice. If it was the latter, he wasn't sure if he was strong enough to once again explore an avenue already paved with years of frustration and heartbreak. At least with Alice, Vaughn knew where he was headed. With Sydney, he had no such assurances.

He didn't want to hurt Alice. He didn't want to hurt Sydney, either. There had already been too much pain spread around and it was time to put an end to it. If only there was a solution that would spare them all.

"Sydney?" He said her name tentatively.

"Yes?" Her response came too quickly, as if she had been anxiously waiting for him to speak.

"I-I don't know what to say about…what just happened."

Sydney felt somewhat deflated as she turned her head to look at him. "Michael, we just made love."

"Yeah, I suppose we did." He had a difficult time forcing himself to meet her gaze.

"You _suppose_ we did?" She repeated incredulously, propping herself up on her elbow. "Please don't tell me that this was just some last-minute fling for you." Her voice was hard.

"No, no, Syd, of course not." Vaughn rushed to clarify his words. "It wasn't just sex. I know that." He was being sincere. Making love to Sydney for the first time had been everything he had ever dreamed about and it meant something to him. It meant more to him than she would ever know.

Sydney was somewhat mollified. "So why are you acting as if you regret it?"

"I will never regret what happened, Sydney." Vaughn said seriously. "For one not-so-brief moment, you were actually mine and I'll never forget that."

She didn't like the way he was speaking in the past tense. As if it would never happen again. "It doesn't have to be a one-time thing, you know."

Vaughn met her gaze with a solemn expression on his face. "I'm getting married tomorrow, Sydney, and I fully intend to honor my wedding vows."

"You're still going through with it?" Sydney sat up, grasping the blanket around her body as she gave him a disbelieving look. Hadn't he felt it? Didn't he see how wonderful and magical and transcendent things could be between them?

"Did you think I wouldn't?"

"But, Vau--"

"Michael." He corrected her, knowing it would tick her off.

"_Michael_." She grinded out. "How can you? How can you stand before God and all those witnesses and profess your eternal love and devotion to another woman after what we just shared?"

"I can't hurt Alice again, Syd." Vaughn shook his head. "She's done so much for me. After you left--"

"I know, I know." Sydney sounded embittered as she interrupted him. "She's Mother Teresa and Dr. Phil all rolled up into one. I know she picked you up when you were down, but does that mean you have to sign away the rest of your life to her?"

"Don't belittle what she did for me, Sydney." Vaughn said warningly. "You weren't here. You don't know what I went through."

"I know." She looked contrite. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand why you're acting as if I'm entering into a life of indentured servitude or something like that, anyway. It's a marriage, Sydney, not a prison sentence."

"You won't feel that way after you find out what she has in store for you." She muttered under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing." She was sorely tempted to tell Vaughn the truth about Alice, but Mrs. Vaughn's words kept echoing through her brain. Marguerite had told Sydney that if Vaughn followed his heart, he would make the right decision and as much as it pained her to keep quiet, Sydney realized that telling tales on Alice shouldn't factor into whatever choice he made. If Vaughn backed out of his wedding to Alice in order to be with her, it had to be a determination free of any outside influences. That was the only way Sydney could be sure that he was with her because he wanted to be, not because he was grateful to her for saving him from a life of misery with Alice or because it was more preferable to being alone.  

"I'm sorry, Sydney." He said, feeling inadequate. "I know this must be difficult for you--"

"You're right. It is." She rudely cut him off. "I can't fathom how you can go from making love to me today to marrying her tomorrow night! Are you really so committed to Alice that you can't--" A horrifyingly obvious thought suddenly struck her. "Oh, my God! Is it because you're…in love with her, Michael?" Sydney could barely make her mouth form the words. 

Vaughn didn't answer her right away as he endeavored to inject some coherency into his thoughts. "Alice helped me through a rough patch in my life." He said quietly. "She was there for me when I was floundering and I will always be grateful to her for that." Sydney looked up just then, hopeful that she had heard the "but" coming on.

"But that being said, gratitude certainly doesn't equate to love." Vaughn's green eyes captured Sydney's brown ones. "I'm fond of her and I care about her, but I will never love Alice the way I love you."

The tense set of his jawline softened as his lips curved into a smile. "I think I might have loved you from the first moment I saw you even though you were nothing to write home about in your bedraggled state." They shared a grin as they both remembered her shocking red hair and makeup-streaked face. "Sometimes it used to scare me how intense my feelings were for you."

"It scared you?"

"I don't mean that it was something I wanted to run away from. If anything, I embraced it head-on and without reservation." He gave a little shake of his head at his lack of restraint. "Something about you touched me, Sydney, and it grabbed hold of my heart like nothing ever has before or since."

"I wanted to play your white knight and be the person you could always count on. I wanted to hold you and take care of you and reassure you that everything would turn out in the end."

Sydney felt as if her heart was breaking. "You _were_ that person for me, Michael. You still are."

"I'm not so sure about that anymore." Vaughn sadly contradicted her. "Syd, I want you to know that I'm deeply sorry for everything you went through last summer and I'm glad you told me about it. It helps me to understand. To forgive."

"Do you mean that?" She pressed him. "Or are you doing this to punish me, Michael? To make me regret ever leaving you?"

"No, Sydney." Vaughn looked somber. "I would never treat you that way."

"Even if you were mad at me?" 

"Even then." He replied. "And I'm not mad at you. Not anymore." His forehead creased into a frown. "It's just that I have obligations and I can't walk away from them."

"How very noble of you." An edge of hurt crept into her voice. "Why do you have to be so damned bound to your honor? I know you want to do right by Alice, but don't you deserve to be happy, too? Don't we both deserve that after everything we've been through?" She said pleadingly.

The musical sound of a ringing cell phone startled them both and Sydney suddenly found herself gazing at the broad muscles in Vaughn's naked back as he twisted away from her to fumble for his phone. She heard him let out a muffled curse word before clicking the "Off" button on his phone.

"That was Alice calling from the house." Vaughn informed her in a flat tone. "She's probably wondering where I am."

"I'm not surprised." Her face was impassive.

"Syd…I'm sorry, but I have to go." He said awkwardly.

"Fine." She couldn't bring herself to look at him and could only listen as he stood up to hastily throw on his clothes. A few moments later, she felt his presence as he towered over her.

"Sydney, are you going to be okay?" He asked hesitantly.

"Probably not, but that doesn't seem to matter right now." She still couldn't look at him.

Vaughn closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Syd, I just don't know if I can turn my life upside-down again for you. It didn't work out the last time and look how we ended up."

Sydney squeezed her eyes tightly shut, trying to steel herself against the enormous amount of pain and heartbreak that was seeping into her soul.

"All right, then just go." She ordered him in a brusque manner. "Go back to your safe little existence with Alice if you think that'll make you happy."

There was nothing more he could say. As Vaughn slowly walked away from her, he became painfully aware that he would probably never again experience any form of true happiness for the rest of his life. Not if his life was one without Sydney.

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: Okay, I know that was sad, but I had to do it. But don't worry. You've got two more chapters coming to see how it all plays out.

A huge thanks to everyone who has been taking the time to read and review. Your comments are always enjoyable to read and sometimes you guys make me LOL (especially you two, Corinne and Rachel (Ignit46944)).

P.S. to Rachel: You got your shirtless Vaughn! (grin)

See ya later! 


	13. Moments of Reflection

**Author's Note**: I would have had this chapter posted by Thursday afternoon, but ff.net was having problems uploading HTML docs. Sorry for the delay. 

*****

On the morning of the wedding, Sydney Bristow opened her eyes and let out a sigh as she gave a bleak stare to the white popcorn ceiling of Will's apartment. She had spent a restless night tossing and turning (which was not easy to do in the narrow confines of Will's couch), the events of the previous afternoon replaying like a bad horror flick in her mind. 

After Vaughn left her in the stables, Sydney quickly got dressed and made her way back to the party. She desperately wanted to leave without seeing Vaughn again and for once, luck was on her side as she managed to find Will rather quickly upon her return to the house. He took one look at her face and knew instantly that something was wrong, but he didn't press her for any explanations, an act of kindness for which she would be eternally grateful.

The drive back to Will's apartment had been made in relative silence. Will kept glancing over at Sydney, who had her head turned and facing the open window, with a worried look on his face. He had never seen her so quiet and withdrawn and it frightened him that she might be regressing back into her depression-mode from last summer. Selfish as it may have sounded, he didn't think he would be able to handle seeing the woman he had always thought of as a tower of strength in such a state.

When they got back to his apartment, Will let Sydney be. He kept an eye on her as he paid some of his bills and balanced his checkbook before checking out the last few innings of an afternoon Dodgers game on T.V., but by the way she had zoned out to the point of not even acknowledging his existence, he might as well have just been invisible.

Later that evening, Will thought it safe to risk leaving Sydney alone for the ten minutes it would take to shower and change his clothes. He sped through his grooming rituals in record time and came out of the bathroom casually dressed in jeans and a gray pullover, his hair a bit damp and curling ever-so-slightly on the ends. He could always tell when he needed a haircut when his hair started to flip out on him.

Will was due to head out to the church for the wedding rehearsal and then on to Francie's restaurant, where the rehearsal dinner would be held, but he was worried about leaving Sydney. He didn't think she'd do anything as horrific as inflict bodily harm upon herself, but he still would have felt better if there had been someone who could stay with her. Unfortunately, Jack Bristow was still out of town and Francie was working tonight as well. 

With a bit of trepidation in his heart, Will was relieved to find Sydney still sitting on the couch, her legs tucked beneath her and her arms wrapped around a pillow as she stared forlornly into space. She seemingly hadn't moved since they'd arrived back home earlier that afternoon.

"Syd?" Will said tentatively, planting himself down next to her on the couch.

"Hmmm?" Well, at least she had heard him.

"I'm going to head out to the church now." He informed her. "Are you going to be okay by yourself tonight?"

Sydney took a long time before answering. When she finally spoke, her words came out in a listless mumble. "I might as well start getting used to being by myself." 

Will frowned. "Syd, I can't stand this anymore. You've got to tell me what's wrong." He said urgently.

Sydney turned her head to look at him and he was startled by the look of desolation on her face. Her usually warm chocolate-brown eyes were a dull mud color and the corners of her mouth were turned down.

Will waited silently as Sydney gathered up of her energies in order to speak. "I managed to get Vaughn to myself for awhile and we talked." She finally admitted to him. "I told him about last summer."

"Oh." Will said shortly. "What did he say when you told him?" 

"Naturally, he was shocked and stunned. I don't want to make you sit through a word-for-word account of our entire conversation, but he did tell me he felt badly for what I went through and I told him I was sorry for not keeping in touch." Sydney didn't go into detail, but she went on to tell him a little about what they'd talked about, but of course, not about what they had done.

"And then he forgave you, right?" Will prompted her.

"Yeah, I-I think so." Sydney nodded uncertainly.

"So I don't get it." His brow furrowed. "Why hasn't anyone called to tell me that the rehearsal's been canceled?"

"Well, that's probably because the wedding is still going on as scheduled." She gave a careless shrug that belied her true feelings.

"No, that can't be." Will said disbelievingly. "If Mike's forgiven you, then he can't marry Alice."

"One thing has nothing to do with the other, Will." Her voice was sad. 

Will was having a hard time grasping the situation. Everyone knew that Sydney and Vaughn belonged together. Hell, even he knew it and he had been one of those most resistant to the idea. He had been so positive that all they'd have to do was get everything out in the open, tell all of their secrets and clear up all of their misunderstandings. So why were they still forcing themselves to stay apart from one another?

Sydney knew she could never tell Will--or maybe even anybody--what had happened between her and Vaughn that afternoon. It would just cause a rift amongst everyone involved and she had no desire to create any further tensions. Will and Vaughn still had to work together, after all, and neither of them would be able to do their jobs effectively if they were too busy choosing up sides. The moment she had shared with Vaughn would have to be kept as hers and hers alone, something to cherish for the joy it had brought her, but also something to regret because it would serve as a constant reminder for what could never be again. 

"So you told him everything and he's still going to marry Alice." Will looked perplexed.

"That seems to be the gist of it." She said with an air of resignation.

Will's heart ached for Sydney. "Oh, Syd." He took her hands in his. "I'm not even going to try to pretend I understand what's going through Mike's head right now, but I want you to know that I'm truly sorry things didn't work out. I was pulling for you guys, you know that, don't you?"

Sydney gave him a smile, her eyes tearing up because he was being so sweet to her. "Of course I do, Will, and I love you for saying it." She put her arms around his neck and felt comforted when his arms went around her. "Thanks for caring enough to make me talk about it. I feel a little better now."

"I'm glad." He said in her ear. "Hey, what's this?" As Will's face brushed against Sydney's hair, something poked him in the cheek. His fingers caught at a piece of straw tangled in her silky locks and he pulled it free. "Where did this come from?"

When Sydney saw what Will was holding, a telltale blush rose to her cheeks. "I went down to the stables and I accidentally tripped over a pitchfork." She plucked the blade of grass out of his hand. "Not one of my finer moments, but on the upside, the bruise on my hip is the first one I've had since I left the Agency." Sydney tried to make a joke to cover her nervousness.

"Just one more thing not to miss about your old life." Will said teasingly, thinking nothing more of it. "Syd, I hate to do this to you, but I have to get going. Alice will kill me if I'm late to the rehearsal."

"Go ahead and go." She shooed him off. "I need a quiet evening at home after all the chaos from the last two days."

Will threw her a parting glance full of concern. "If you want to talk some more, call me and I'll leave the dinner early, okay?"

"I don't think that'll be necessary, but thanks for offering." She smiled and waved at him as he went out the front door.

As it turned out, Sydney did not need to take Will up on his offer. After a nice, warm bath (during which she washed her hair to remove any further traces of her afternoon pursuits), she made herself a light meal and then flipped on Will's computer. She went online to check her email and was tickled to find a few messages from a couple of her former students who were traveling through Europe for the summer. The seasoned world traveler that she had been, she had offered her advice on where to go and what to see and was pleased to find out that her recommendations had delivered on their promise. 

Somewhat cheered up, Sydney had gone to bed with a smile on her face, but unhappily for her, it didn't last long. In the darkness of Will's living room, with nothing to occupy her thoughts but the memory of how it had felt as Vaughn trailed kisses down her neck or the way his eyes had appeared so impossibly green when he looked at her, Sydney started crying again for her lost love.

She was still awake when Will came home a little after midnight, but she pretended to be asleep. She felt him tuck her blanket around her legs and then heard him go into his bedroom, closing the door behind him. The next few hours were the longest of her life as she found herself unable to tear her thoughts away from Vaughn and the all-too-brief moments they had spent in each other's arms.

Some time during the wee hours of the morning, Sydney must have fallen asleep out of sheer emotional and physical exhaustion, but unfortunately, the respite from her problems was short-lived and not at all restful. Her body and soul were crying out for the blessed relief that sleep would bring, but for some tortuously evil reason, her mind staunchly refused to listen to their pleas.

Sydney peeked at the clock on Will's VCR only to discover that just an hour had passed since the last time she had looked. She decided it wasn't worth the effort it would take to lay her head down on the pillow again, so she stood up and walked over to the front window. Whereas the room had been somewhat dark when her eyes had closed, it was now gradually brightening. As Sydney drew back the curtains, she could see that new day had begun, one of which she had hoped would never happen.

After a few moments spent staring out the window, Sydney plopped back onto the couch, settling her blanket on her lap. All night long, she had struggled with her thoughts as she tried to decide on her next course of action. Part of her wanted to run away, bury her head in the sand and just try to forget that Vaughn was marrying another woman, but would it hurt any less if she stayed to make one more last-ditch effort? She had already bared her soul (as well as everything else) to him, so she had nothing more to lose.

_Except your pride and your dignity_, a little voice inside her head chastised her. _Accept the fact that you and Vaughn were just never meant to be_.

"If only I could do that." Sydney said out loud. But it was hard to come to grips with the fact that everything she had worked for and strived for during her last few years as a double agent had all been for nothing. She had given her heart and pinned all of her hopes on a dream she thought would eventually come true and it was the hardest thing in the world to give up on it.

But in addition to being a romantic, she was also a realist. Vaughn had all of the facts; he knew that she loved him and wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. Now it was his turn to decide if he could throw caution to the wind and make the same kind of commitment to her.

All of a sudden, Sydney knew what she had to do. Having made up her mind, she vaulted off the couch to go jump into the shower.

*****

Francie Calfo woke up at 4:30 am to the tune of some old 80's hit by Madonna playing on her clock radio. With a slightly distasteful grimace, she turned off the alarm and dragged herself out of bed. Half an hour later, she was showered, dressed and in her car, heading straight for her restaurant to start doing the food prep for the wedding. As she traversed the empty Saturday morning streets, her mind couldn't help but wander to thoughts of Sydney.

In spite of her best efforts, Sydney appeared to have failed in her attempt to disrupt the wedding plans of Mike and Alice. Francie had always been of the belief that Sydney could do anything she set her mind to, but in this case, maybe there was just too much water under the bridge. She knew better than most how tightly grudges could be held and it wasn't hard to imagine that a combination of fear and anger and pride would be enough to feed a deep and painful hurt. Perhaps if she'd had more time, Sydney could have made some inroads into easing some of Mike's anxieties in regard to their past and future relationship, but as it was, the wedding had come all too soon.

With a heavy feeling in her heart for her two friends, Francie gunned it through a yellow light and then turned into the parking lot of her restaurant.

*****

Alice Fairchild was awakened by the sound of chirping birds outside of her bedroom window. She lazily stretched her arms above her head and then her eyelids fluttered open. Her blue eyes traveled around her blush pink boudoir to settle upon her $10,000 Vera Wang wedding gown. A self-satisfied smile spread across her face as she contemplated how stunningly beautiful she would look walking down the aisle later that evening. She would have to remember to accept her compliments with a modest and graceful air.

Alice let out a contented sigh. Everything was going exactly to plan and before the day was out, she was going to be Mrs. Michael Vaughn. In spite of her twisted reasons for getting married, she had thoroughly enjoyed planning her dream wedding, but tonight was when the real fun would begin. As Alice drifted back to sleep, she was lulled by the thought that her darling Michael wouldn't know what hit him.

*****

Marguerite Vaughn was an early riser, usually up before the crack of dawn. Her son's wedding day was no exception and she was already into her second cup of coffee before the sun broke over the horizon.

Marguerite had found herself deeply troubled upon learning from Sydney Bristow that the intentions of her son's fiancée were less than honorable. Despite her outward appearance of poise and self-control, she had not taken kindly to finding out that Alice had only revenge on her mind when she had manipulated Michael into proposing marriage to her. Her son was the light of her life and she could be as ferocious as a mama bear protecting her cub when it came to shielding Michael from hurt.

_If only I could be more of the meddling sort_, Marguerite thought, somewhat woefully. She had told Sydney that it wasn't in her nature to interfere in her son's life. She would offer advice if asked (and even sometimes if she wasn't), but she didn't push. Learning to make his own decisions and facing the consequences of his actions were just part of the reason why Michael had turned into the fine, strong-minded individual he was today. 

Mother and son had not managed too much in the way of conversation at the rehearsal dinner the night before. Alice had monopolized Michael's attentions (_Why had I never noticed_ _that before_? Marguerite wondered.), so she had no time to mention to him that she had met Sydney and found her quite lovely, just as he had described. It had been clearly evident to her how Sydney felt about Michael and Marguerite hoped there would still be time for the two of them to talk and perhaps settle their differences. But oh, they were cutting it close…

If not, then Marguerite was not quite sure she would be able to hold her tongue tonight when the minister asked, "If anyone can show just cause for why this union should not take place, speak now or forever hold your peace." _Hmmm, perhaps I have a bit of meddling mother in me, after all_.__

*****

In regard to his sleeping habits, Michael Vaughn took after his mother and he had already been awake for hours before his alarm buzzed at 7:30 am. He had thought he would sleep in on his wedding day, but his mind was too cluttered for him to enjoy catching a few extra moments of shuteye.

Vaughn ran through his usual morning habits as if on automatic pilot, showering, shaving and running a comb through his spiky-looking hair. After getting dressed, he went through the contents of his suitcase one more time before taking his bag downstairs to set it beside the front door. He made two more trips up and down the stairs of his condo, the first one to bring down his tuxedo still encased in its protective garment bag and the second to grab the plane tickets to Rome and his passport from his bedside table.

When he looked at the clock, Vaughn was dismayed to see that he still had forty-five minutes before he was due to meet Weiss for breakfast. He had wanted to keep busy for every moment of the day, so that he wouldn't have time to stop and think and now he had this window where those were the only two things he could do.

There was still a cup of coffee left in the carafe of his coffeemaker from the day before and since Vaughn didn't feel like making a fresh pot, he poured the cold remains into a mug and nuked it for a few minutes in the microwave. His beverage came out steaming hot, but predictably bitter, and he made a face as he took his first sip. But he sat down to drink it, anyway, since it seemed to fit in with his mood.

From the moment he had closed the stable door behind him--leaving Sydney looking lost and alone in his wake--Vaughn couldn't stop wondering if he was making the second biggest mistake of his life (he counted his first as being his agreeing to go to Washington while Sydney had still been under protective custody after the SD-6 takedown). No man liked to think of himself as a coward, but what other word was there to describe why he was walking away from the woman he loved so desperately and completely?

There weren't many things Michael Vaughn was afraid of, but Sydney Bristow had always scared him. He knew his feelings for her had been intense from the start and they had only ratcheted upwards as each year passed.

She, on the other hand, had taken her time to explore her feelings. Their bond had always been there, as well as a feeling of absolute trust, but the love had come at a more deliberate pace. If he wanted to, he could take her hesitancy as a sign that she had just wanted to be sure that they were both jumping into the abyss for the right reasons. Once they leapt, there was no going back and they would have to deal with wherever they ended up.

Had he gone back on his promise by not following things through to the end? Vaughn had told Sydney that he wanted to be the person she could always count on, but he had never added, _as long as I don't get hurt_ _in the process_. Real love--the kind of love that lasts for all eternity--means suffering through the bad times as well as rejoicing through the good. It isn't all hearts and flowers and candlelight dinners; it's also being there when she's sick as a dog or when she's been upset by her father's duplicity or when she's horrified after finding out that her mother murdered your father. They had already survived through so much tragedy and pain yet their feelings had remarkably shown no signs of diminishing. 

Didn't that tell him anything about the strength of their commitment and the depth of their love? Vaughn had to wonder.

*****

Eric Weiss had to hit the snooze bar on his alarm clock five times before he was sufficiently conscious enough to roll over onto his back and let out a loud yawn. He opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was that the penguin suit he'd agreed to wear for the wedding was piled up in a heap on the floor. _No doubt Alice'll harp on me for wrinkling my suit_, he thought to himself wryly, making no move to get out of bed just yet. Leaving his tux on the floor for five more minutes wouldn't matter one way or the other.

Weiss wasn't happy that the day had finally dawned on the farce known as His Best Friend's Wedding, but seeing as how Vaughn _was_ his best friend, he didn't see any other choice but to go through with it. He personally believed that Mike would live to regret marrying his shrew of a fiancée, but if his idiot friend was actually going to do the dirty deed, then he would need his best bud Weiss to back him up. Weiss wasn't going to let Alice emasculate Vaughn any more than she already had and if that meant incurring Alice's wrath in the process…well, then that was just icing on the cake as far as he was concerned.

He was mournful over the fact that Sydney's presence hadn't worked the magic he'd thought it would. Weiss had been so sure that seeing Sydney again would be enough to make Vaughn come to his senses, but for some reason, Mike was behaving like a stubborn jackass. Now Weiss' only hope was that Sydney had somehow managed to tell Vaughn the truth behind her disappearance last summer; that would be the only revelation shocking enough to force Vaughn into reconsidering his options.

Weiss didn't know for sure if the big confrontation had taken place, but he found it of noteworthy interest that both Sydney and Vaughn had been conspicuously absent from the barbecue for at least an hour yesterday afternoon. The thought that they might have been together pleased him to no end and it was just an added bonus to witness Alice's frantic meltdown as she sent the servants scurrying all over the grounds in order to find her wayward fiancé.

Nosy as he was, Weiss had tried his damnedest to get his best friend to spill the possibly juicy details when they were all at the rehearsal dinner, but Vaughn was having no part of it, immediately clamming up at the first mention of Sydney's name. Weiss wanted to pursue it, but with Alice positively _hovering_ over Vaughn all evening, he never got the chance. So instead he just sat back and kept a close eye on his friend's body language, observing that Vaughn was acting a bit subdued and more than a little distracted. That led Weiss to believe that there _had_ been some sort of face-off between the two star-crossed lovers and he just needed to work harder to get Vaughn to open up. Maybe he would have better luck at breakfast this morning.

Weiss looked at the clock again, calculated that he would only be fifteen minutes late if he skipped a shower and shave and then started scrounging around on the floor for something clean (or at least semi-clean) to wear.

*****

Will Tippin was jolted from a peaceful slumber by the sound of something clattering noisily into his bathroom sink. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he staggered out of bed and opened his bedroom door. He crossed the few steps it took to get him into the doorway of his bathroom and was surprised to see Sydney stuffing her toothbrush and comb into a small make-up case.

"Syd?" He croaked out.

Sydney threw him an apologetic look. "Oh, geez, Will, I'm sorry I woke you up. I was hoping you hadn't heard me dropping the blow dryer into the sink."

"It's okay. I was going to go head on over to the gym this morning, anyway. " He watched as she ducked into the shower stall to grab her travel-size bottles of shampoo and conditioner. "What are you doing? Are you packing? You're not planning to leave right after the ceremony, are you?" His questions came out in a confused rush.

"No, actually, I'm planning to leave in about an hour." She replied, somewhat guiltily.

"_What_?" Will's mouth dropped open. "You're not going to the wedding?"

"No." Sydney said firmly, squeezing past him to go back into the living room.

"Syd, we have to talk about this." He followed closely on her heels. "You have to rethink this."

"There's nothing to think or rethink about, Will." She shook her head, placing her makeup bag in her suitcase. "I've made up my mind."

"Syd," Will grabbed her by the hand and forced her to sit down next to him on the couch. "Listen to me. Forget about what I said before. You have to tell Mike why Alice is marrying him."

"You think I should tell him?" Sydney's eyes widened. "Why the change of heart?"

Will's mouth was set into a grim line. "I was sitting there last night--through the rehearsal and then the dinner--and I was watching Alice bill and coo at Mike like some overgrown Barbie doll and it just made me sick." He looked at her with an agitated look on his face. "She's marrying him for the wrongest reason there is and I know I was a journalism major and I know that's not a word, but now is not the time to correct my English, Syd!" He finished heatedly.

Sydney couldn't help but smile. "You have to know that it's killing the English teacher in me not to do it, but I won't." She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "You know, I think it's really great that you're going to bat for him like this. I always wanted you to be friends and you are, no thanks to me."

Her eyes dropped to the ground. "That being said, I can't do what you're asking me to do." She replied with great difficulty.

"You _can't_?" His eyes boggled. "Sydney, unless you've lost the power of speech, the word _can't_ shouldn't be in your vocabulary."

"Will, please try to understand." A bundle of nervous energy, Sydney suddenly jumped off the couch and started pacing. "What good will it do if I tell him the truth about her? Sure, he'll probably call off the wedding and maybe eventually, we might be lucky enough to get a second chance."

"Well, isn't that what you want?" He asked her. "Mike leaves her, he goes to you. Everyone's happy."

"_I_ won't be." She burst out. "I would feel like second choice."

"Sydney, you have no reason to feel that way." Will insisted. "You know he only took up with her because he couldn't have you. _She's_ second choice, not you."

Sydney shook her head. "It would still be in the back of my mind that the only reason Vaughn's not with her is because I told him something bad about her."

"Don't you see my point, Will?" She gave him a pleading look. "I don't want Alice to dictate whether or not he comes back to me. I want it to be his choice. That's the only way I'll feel that it was meant to be."

Will still looked perturbed, but he grudgingly admitted she was right. "I guess it would tell you more where his head is at if he decides who he wants not knowing what a bitch Alice really is." His blue eyes met hers. "Because all things being equal, there isn't a doubt in my mind that he'd rather be with you than with her."

"Well, that may be true, but I don't know if he'll let himself accept that just yet." Sydney looked regretful. "By the time he figures that out, it may be too late."

She suddenly let out a loud groan. "Oh, we're getting much too maudlin here." She went over to him and pulled him off the couch. "Look, you go on to the gym and have a great time at the wedding." Sydney tucked her arm through his as she led him down the hallway towards his bedroom. "I'm sorry I'm leaving you alone and dateless, but maybe you'll meet someone there. Alice's friends can't all be snooty and stuck-up, can they?"

Will stopped outside of his bedroom door and turned to face her. "I wouldn't be so sure. I think those types of women tend to run in packs."

She grinned. "Well, maybe a good one will manage to sneak her way in. I don't know why she would want to, but it could happen."

He gave her a chuckle. Right before he headed into his bedroom to go change his clothes, he turned back around. "Syd, what do you want me to say if Mike asks where you are tonight?"

Sydney shot him a wry look tinged with sadness around her eyes. "If he's still going through with it, he won't ask."

*****

Sydney and Will exchanged tearful goodbyes before he left to go to the gym, promising each other that their visits would be more frequent and not so angst-filled in the future. She laughed at his joke and he gave her a kiss on the cheek before telling her that he would call her later that night when he got home. She smiled that she would love to hear from him and then waved from the doorway of his apartment as he jumped into his car and took off.

Sydney was preparing to make one last sweep of the apartment to be sure she hadn't forgotten anything when the doorbell suddenly rang. Her heart nearly jumped into her throat and her pulse involuntarily started racing. It came as no great shock to her how much she had been hoping this would happen.

Sydney gave a little fluff to her hair and then took a deep breath before opening the door. 

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: Hi everyone, just wanted to give a clarification on the remaining chapters – This chapter turned out longer than I expected, so I split up some segments and the next chapter will be its own, short but sweet. The final chapter will follow after that. It just flowed better for me if I broke up some scenes.

P.S. to Rachel (in response to your last review): Since I wrote the last chapter before "The Getaway" and I don't read the spoilers, I didn't even _think_ about the parallels between Sydney, Vaughn and the room key that didn't get used and what happened with S/V in the stables in my story. Hmmm, maybe I'm more prescient than even I knew. (grin)


	14. Proof of Love

"Dad!" Sydney blurted out and her heart dropped into her stomach. As she hugged her father, she tried not to show her disappointment that he wasn't the person she had been hoping it would be. "What are you doing here?"

Jack returned her embrace with a fleeting kiss on the cheek before barging into the apartment. He spied her zipped-up overnight bag sitting on the floor next to the couch and turned around to face his daughter. "And why are you packing up and hightailing it out of town?"

"Dad, have you been watching those old Westerns on AMC again?" Sydney wisecracked as she closed the front door. "You sound exactly like one of those deputies who are always trying to tell the sheriff to stick around and have it out with the bad guys."

"Don't mock me, Sydney." Jack ordered her, a stern expression on his face. But she saw his lips twitch and she knew he was trying not to look amused. "Now what's this I hear about you leaving town before the wedding?"

"How on earth did you find out?" She demanded to know. "I just decided a few hours ago." She narrowed her eyes at her father. "Did you talk to Will?"

He gave her a bland look. "I arrived back in town early this morning and I tried calling you on your cell phone, but it kept going into your voicemail."

"Sorry, I've gotten into the habit of turning it off when I'm not using it." She apologized. "It's one of the rules at school that all cell phones must be off when class is in session. I'm sure you can see how distracting it would be to have everyone's cell phone going off in the middle of a lecture." Sydney was aware she was babbling and her father knew it, too, judging by the half-smile on his face.  

"Be that as it may, since I couldn't reach you, I called Will instead and he told me you were at his apartment."

"Well, you're lucky you caught me." She flashed him a nervous smile. "I was just getting ready to leave."

"That's what I heard." Her father turned a penetrating glance on her.

God, she'd forgotten how good her father was at making people squirm. She was practically jumping out of her skin. "So why were you looking for me?" She put on a pleasant face.

"Why aren't you going to the wedding?" He countered.

Sydney gave a little snort. "Dad, it's hardly my idea of a good time to go watch Vaughn getting married to another woman. Even I'm not that much of a masochist."

"Did you talk to him?" He pressed her. "Did you tell him how you feel about him?"

She gave Jack a strange look. Even though her relationship with her father was better than it had ever been, it still took some getting used to when he wanted to delve into personal issues with her.

"I talked to him until I was blue in the face." An involuntary blush rose to her cheeks as she thought about how they had done a lot more than just talk. "Nothing I said seemed to make any difference to him."

"So that's it? You're just giving up?" Her father gave her an exasperated look, which irked her for some reason. Did he have even the foggiest idea of what she'd been through in the past few days? None of the feelings of anger or fear or frustration she'd had the misfortune to bear during her years as a spy could even begin to hold a candle to the heart-wrenching anguish she was experiencing whenever she thought of the man she loved beyond all reason marrying another woman. 

"What do you want me to do, Dad?" Her voice rose slightly. "Storm the church? Body slam the bridesmaids? Get off a good roundhouse kick on the bride?" Actually, she wouldn't mind taking a shot at that last one.

Jack's mouth quirked. "I didn't have anything quite so drastic in mind, but I also can't believe you're throwing in the towel before the fight is over." He raised an eyebrow at her. "Vaughn's not married yet. You still have time."

Sydney began to feel vaguely suspicious towards her father. "Why are you egging me on like this?"

"Is that what I'm doing?" Jack queried, putting on what he thought was an innocent face. "I thought I was being a supportive father."

"No, you're being a pushy father and while I know you're not above trying to manipulate me into doing what you want, I'm having a hard time figuring out why you're pushing me in such an unlikely direction." She gave him a speculative look.

"Unlikely for whom?" Her father asked. "You? I know you want Vaughn back in your life. Isn't that the reason you came back to L.A.?"

"Yes, of course that's why." She said urgently. "I told you that the last time we talked when you told me I had to take back control of my life. You said I should try to make my dreams come true."

"I did say that." He nodded. "And I'm doing everything in my power to make sure that happens."

That's when it hit her. Who was the one person in her life who had never left her? Who was the one person who had always looked out for her and protected her with no regard to his own personal limits or boundaries? It was the very same person who was now pushing her towards the only man whom he could trust to take care of his little girl just as capably as he had, with an unwavering resolve and a deeply ingrained sense of love in his heart.

"You sent me the invitation." She uttered softly.

Jack didn't bother to deny it. In fact, he looked rather smug. "Guilty as charged." Her father confessed.

Sydney was in shock. "B-but why?" She stammered out. 

"There isn't anything I wouldn't do to ensure your happiness, Sydney." Jack said solemnly, feeling an uncharacteristic wave of emotion sweep through him. "That's what a father is supposed to do and while I know I'm starting rather late in life, maybe I'm trying to make up for lost time." He looked at his daughter. "May I have a cup of coffee?"

Sydney was momentarily taken aback by the odd placement of his request, but then remembered her manners. "Of course, I'm sorry. I should have offered you some earlier." She busied herself by going into the kitchen to grab two clean mugs out of Will's dishwasher and after pouring the coffee, she joined her father at the dining room table.

"Thank you." Jack wrapped his large hands around the stoneware mug. "It wasn't as easy as it might have looked, you know." He admitted. "I had a devil of a time breaking into the computer files of Alice's printer. Who would have thought anyone would safeguard the wording on a wedding invitation?" Her father gave a grimace as he took a large gulp of his coffee.

"I'm surprised at you, Dad." She hid a grin behind her cup. "With all your experience breaking into some of the most sophisticated computer systems all over the world, a simple little print shop almost does you in?"

"Maybe I'm losing my touch." He bantered back at her.

"Oh, no, not you." Sydney shook her head in denial. "Not the great Jack Bristow."

Jack allowed himself a smile. "Oh, by the way, the invitation I sent to you is not exactly the same card stock Alice and Vaughn used for their real invitations." He gave her a supercilious look. "Hers was a lot cheaper and distinctly lacking in taste."

Sydney laughed out loud. "Oh, Dad!" She was so touched she could cry. Jack Bristow might never win the award for Father of the Year, but he loved his daughter more than anything and he gave her ample proof of that, time and time again.

"So why didn't you just tell me that Vaughn was getting married? Why the elaborate mystery?"

"I thought it would be a more discreet way of meddling in your life." He admitted. "I know how resistant you can be when I tell you to do something. There have been times when you mistake my helpful suggestions for uncompromising commands and you wind up fighting me when we're supposed to be on the same side." Her father looked at her with a pointed expression.

"That was only when we were working together." Sydney rolled her eyes. "In this case, I would have followed your orders to the letter." She peered closely at her father. "You know, it's kind of freaky how surprisingly okay you're being about all of this."

"Are you referring to you and Vaughn being together?" Jack inquired with a raised eyebrow. "Sydney, he and I haven't butted heads for awhile now. The man has my respect, both as an agent and as a prospective son-in-law." He said in a rare teasing moment for father and daughter.

Sydney colored slightly. "Dad, that is so not going to happen."

"I'm very surprised to hear that you were unable to make any headway with him." Her father commented. "Vaughn was always so…responsive to you."

"Things have changed." Sydney lamented and then met her father's gaze. "I-I told him about last summer." She said quietly. "He said that he understood and that he could forgive me for my behavior, but there are other issues, trust being one of them." She bit her lip. "Vaughn's having a hard time believing that I won't hurt him again."

"I know how he feels." Jack thought briefly of his former wife, Irina Derevko.

Sydney stared at her father. "Are you comparing what Mom did to you to what I did to Vaughn?" She asked, feeling a bit hurt.

"No, Sydney, of course not." Jack hastened to reassure her. "You're nothing like…her. Irina was able to separate her emotions from her job. Whatever feelings she may have had for me never deterred her from her task at hand, which was to betray me and my country."

"But with you, your feelings were always tied in to your work." Her father placed his hand over hers. "There was a reason you always threw yourself headfirst into whatever challenge Sloane posed to you. There was a bit of desperation involved, but also determination and perseverance."

"Because I couldn't wait until it was finally over." Her voice broke. "Vaughn was supposed to be waiting for me on the other side. He was my future and my hope..." Sydney let out a little sob.

It was a well-known fact that Jack Bristow's only real weakness (if you could call it that at all) was rooted in the feelings of love he held for his daughter and it was no great surprise to him that he wanted to reach out and comfort her. "Sydney, are you sure there is nothing else you can say or do to make Vaughn change his mind?"

"Dad, I cut my heart out and I gave it to him on a silver platter. He knows how I feel about him." A lone tear trickled down her cheek. "I love him so much, but maybe that's not enough. He wants assurances that I can't give and I want…" Sydney broke off momentarily. "I just want to know that he's with me because he wants to be." She finished softly. 

"Oh, Sydney," Jack got up out of his chair and enveloped his daughter into a big bear hug. Sydney sniffled on her father's shoulder just like she used to do when she was a child. It never failed to make her feel better, whether she was nursing a skinned knee or some bruised feelings or a broken heart.

When Sydney finally pulled away, Jack offered his handkerchief to her. She accepted it with a murmured thank you and dabbed at her eyes. "I'm sorry, Dad." She said apologetically.

Jack looked at her quizzically. "For what?"

"Well, you went to so much trouble and it was all for nothing." Sydney hung her head. "All of your efforts were wasted on me--"

"Don't ever say that, Sydney." Her father cut her off sternly. "Nothing I do for you is ever a waste of my time."

His comment made her look up and smile. "You know, I was just headed out on my way back to Santa Barbara. How long are you going to be in town?" She asked, praying that her father would give her the answer she wanted to hear.

"I can stay for as long you want me to."

Sydney beamed a little brighter at him. "Will you drive up for dinner tonight?" She gave him a hopeful look. "I'll cook."

Jack placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I'll bring the wine."

"I'll see you at 7:30 then." Sydney smiled gratefully. "Thanks, Dad."

*     *     *     *     *

Sydney took her time driving back to Santa Barbara. As she traversed along the crowded highway, she tried not to notice the fact that it was a picture-perfect Southern California day; the usual haze of smog over the city had seemingly evaporated, leaving nothing but a clear blue sky, puffy white clouds and a blindingly bright sun. It bothered her a bit that someone as hateful as Alice could have such a beautiful day for her wedding, but then again, Sydney knew all about life not being fair.

By this time of the day, Francie was probably running around her kitchen like a madwoman, peeling potatoes for the _vichyssoise_ and cracking open lobsters for the bisque while beef roasts sat on the counters waiting to be stuffed and salmon fillets chilled in the sub-zeros, already prepared to be lightly poached. Sydney had to grin as she pictured Weiss rehearsing in front of the mirror for the Best Man toast he would have to give at the reception and then her smile faded as she thought of Alice luxuriating her way through her mud facials and seaweed wraps while her toenails were being painted. Sydney didn't let herself think about what Vaughn might be doing at that moment. All she knew was that it didn't have anything to do with her.

It was almost three in the afternoon when Sydney finally hit the city limits of her adopted hometown, but before going home, she stopped off to pick up some items for dinner (she knew her refrigerator was severely lacking and it was a no-brainer that her father would balk at dining on canned soup and Wheat Thins). She made a quick detour to the wharf for a couple of freshly caught lobsters and then headed to the farmer's market for a few ears of sweet corn and a bag of baby red potatoes. Her last stop was to the bakery for a loaf of hot-out-of-the-oven French bread and a decadently rich chocolate-pecan tart (you could have knocked her over with a feather when Sydney found out her father had a sweet tooth for anything chocolate. Who would've thought?).

When she turned her car onto the road where she lived, a tiny smile tugged at the corners of Sydney's mouth. She was so glad to see her cozy little beach house again. It felt as if she'd been gone for four months instead of just four days and she was a little surprised to discover how much she missed the life she had made for herself in the year since she had left the CIA. L.A. had its charms--most notably, her friends and her father--but she realized she felt more at home here in Santa Barbara. It was a fresh start, a new beginning, without all of the reminders of the future she had wished for but would never have. 

The house felt stuffy after being closed up for four days, so after putting her groceries away, Sydney took the time to go from room to room and open all of the windows. An invigorating ocean breeze soon swept through every corner of the house, clearing away the heavy stillness in the air and almost doing a good enough job with the ache in her heart.

With her father not due to arrive for another couple of hours, Sydney was able to catch up on her everyday mundane little chores. She emptied her overnight bag and put a load of laundry into the washer before vacuuming the rugs and making up the bed in the guest bedroom. Jack always spent the night when he came to dinner and Sydney hoped he wouldn't mind too much that he would be sleeping in the middle of her latest do-it-yourself project. Feeling slightly guilty that she'd just abandoned everything the moment she found out about Vaughn's wedding, Sydney made a promise to herself that she would try very hard to settle back into her normal routine. It was time to stop chasing after the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and return to her real life, unappealing as it may have looked at that moment.

After soaking in a long hot bubble bath, Sydney headed down to the kitchen to start dinner. She had gone to the effort of dressing up a little bit in honor of her father's visit, choosing a simple yet flattering lacy black top held up by spaghetti straps and her favorite pair of jeans. She wore her hair down in the same style she always did, added a few dabs of perfume behind her ears and a black beaded choker around her neck.

At 7:27 pm, Sydney filled her large soup pot with water and set it to a low boil on the stove. She anticipated that her father would want to talk for a little while before eating and if she timed it exactly right, it would be time to steam the lobsters just as he was winding down. The potatoes were already done, dressed with a little butter and parsley, and the corn was shucked and ready to be grilled. She would warm the tart in the oven later on when they were ready for dessert.

Sydney made a big deal out of setting the table with placemats and cloth napkins and her pretty ivy-patterned stoneware dishes. Perhaps it was silly to be so fussy when it was just a dinner with her father, but maybe she was trying to make a statement of sorts.

_I carved out a new life for myself_ _here_. _I have a job and a house and I've met some really nice people_. _I don't need Vaughn_--_or any man_--_to validate my self-worth_.Sydney had the desperate need to convince herself that her existence could be just as rewarding and fulfilling whether or not she had a man in her life. She sincerely believed this to be true, of course, but she also knew that Vaughn wasn't just any man. He was the one great love of her life and it would be no small task to learn to live without him, if that were even possible.

Once the table was set and there was nothing left to do, Sydney went out onto the wraparound porch, an ice-filled glass of Evian water in her hand. The breeze from this afternoon had died down to practically nothing, so she lit a few scented candles, not wanting her father to come upon her sitting alone by herself in the dark. He would no doubt find something disturbing about that and rather than sit through a pep talk she didn't want to hear, she thought it prudent to head him off at the pass.

After settling into one of her comfy white wicker armchairs, Sydney's mood turned reflective as she stared out at the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing onto the beach was relaxing in an odd kind of way and she could feel her tenuous grip on her emotions slowly begin to slip away. Her thoughts ventured where they had no business going and inevitably landed at the doorstep of Vaughn.

He was an officially married man by now. If Sydney had to guess, it was probably about that time of the evening when Weiss would either be having the wedding guests rolling in the aisles or hiding their faces in shame as he told one of his highly questionable off-color jokes during his moment in the spotlight as Best Man. She could just picture the glares Alice would be shooting in his direction while Vaughn tried to cover up his laughter behind his napkin. It was almost a comical enough vision to make her wish she were there to see it. _Yeah, right_. _Tell me another one, Syd_.

Sydney let out a sigh filled with longing. How was she going to do this? She had no idea how she could make herself stop needing him or loving him or even lusting over him (obviously, yesterday's events had done _nothing_ to quell her desire for him). Her hope that they would someday find a way to be together had sustained her for so many years; whenever things with Sloane and SD-6 would get to the point where they were seemingly too much to bear, she only had to think about Vaughn and what he did for her and what he meant to her and that would be enough to keep her going.

But now that dream was gone to her forever. Vaughn was no longer in her realm of possibilities and she had to accept it, no matter how much of a struggle that might be. _And it will be a struggle_, Sydney thought to herself with a sinking feeling in her heart. 

Dreams didn't grow on trees; you couldn't just go out and pick yourself another one when the one you cherished just shriveled up and died. 

Sydney wondered if making love with Vaughn made it that much more difficult to let go. She was experiencing mixed feelings about their encounter, not knowing if it had been a blessing or a curse. On the one hand, she would never regret it; touching him and kissing him and feeling the warmth of his body against hers had lifted her to a soaring pinnacle of rapturous bliss and the memory of their passion would serve to keep her warm at night when she was lonely and missing him. 

But on the other hand, a memory couldn't smile at you in a way that made your knees go weak or call you on the phone just to tell you he missed you. A memory couldn't stroke your face or kiss your cheek or whisper "I love you." in your ear. Sydney's eyes began to well up as she thought about all the moments she would never have with Vaughn because they had both been too scared or too stubborn or too stupid to realize what they had. 

The resonance of a car door slamming made a dent in the still night air. Sydney sat up alertly, hastily rubbing at her eyes to remove any traces that she'd been crying. As sharp-eyed as her father was, he would be able to tell instantly what she'd been doing before he arrived and so she was thankful that the glow from the candles provided only the dimmest of illumination. Hopefully by the time they went inside, her eyes would be bright and clear and erased of any revealing redness.

She listened intently for the sound of her father's heavy footsteps as they crunched up her gravel driveway. She could tell that his gait slowed when he hit the cement walkway, perhaps to admire the two bright and colorful flowerbeds she'd slaved over for an entire afternoon one day last month. Then she heard the first creak of him stepping onto the wooden floorboards of her porch and she called out a cheerful "Hi, Dad!"

There was a pause. "Hello, Sydney." said a voice in the darkness.

_To be continued_…

**Author's Note**: (Oh, now don't be too mad! I promise it's my last cliffhanger! (grin)) I know Jack probably wasn't the person a lot of you were expecting at the beginning of the chapter, but I had one last loose end to tie up or else you'd never know who sent the invitation. But never fear, Agent Boy Scout will not let you down. The final chapter will be up in a few days.

Thanks for taking the time to read and review.


	15. Love Finds A Way

**Author's Note**: Hi everyone, I think I've been pretty good at posting a new chapter every fourth day, but this week, there was a pesky little thing called Real Life that kept me from getting this out sooner. Hope you think it was worth the wait.

*     *     *     *     * 

Sydney froze in her chair. For a few moments, she didn't even dare to breathe for fear she might accidentally break the spell. It just wasn't possible, was it? Maybe she was hearing things.

"Sydney?" The voice was hesitant now. As if he wasn't sure if he should fight or flee.

No, he was real. Her movements achingly deliberate, Sydney turned her head to look towards the voice. It wasn't her father's burly stature standing there in the shadows. It was someone just a tad shorter and leaner in build. It was Vaughn.

"Are you really here?" She asked wonderingly.

Vaughn stepped into the glow of the candlelight. For some strange reason, she thought he would be dressed in a tuxedo, but he was wearing a regular button-down shirt and jacket with black trousers. In his right hand was a bottle of wine.

"Yeah, it's really me." He gave her a nervous smile. Sydney looked absolutely floored to see him and he wasn't sure what to make of it. Was she happy that he was here? Was she mad? Would she order him off her property the moment she regained her senses?

"I can't believe it." Sydney whispered. She kept blinking as if he were a vision her imagination had conjured up and any minute now, he was going to disappear right before her very eyes. "What happened, Michael? Why are you here?"

"How about I tell you over dinner?" Vaughn knew Sydney's innate curiosity would overrule any urge she might have had about kicking him to the curb before he even had a chance to explain. She might be upset with him for his somewhat callous rejection of her yesterday and he allowed that she had every right to be ticked, but he also knew she would be fair and let him tell the full story of how it came to be that he was standing on her doorstep when he was supposed to be kicking back at his wedding reception. If she didn't like what he had to say, _then_ she might kick him to the curb, but that was a risk he was willing to take.

He suddenly remembered he was holding something. "Oh, this is from your father." Vaughn held out the bottle of wine to her. "Jack wanted me to tell you that he sends his regrets, but he won't be able to have dinner with you tonight."

Sydney stood up to receive his offering. The smooth glass bottle felt cool and solid in her hand, which was in direct contrast to the warmth that was spreading throughout her entire body. "Why is it that you're always there for me whenever my father stands me up for dinner?" She said jokingly, to ease the tension.

Vaughn gave her a tentative smile. "Just lucky, I guess."

"You know, that night at the pier was my first glimpse as to what kind of person you were." Sydney was glad to have the bottle of wine in her hands because she would have been fidgeting otherwise. "We had just barely gotten to know each other yet your name was the only one in my head when I tried to think of someone I could talk to about how I was feeling." She gave him a shy smile. "I almost couldn't believe it when you actually showed up. The fact that you were there for me--that I could count on you to be there for me--well, that just spoke volumes." 

Sydney's words pleased him immensely. "There was never any question in my mind about whether or not I should have met with you that night, Sydney." Vaughn replied tenderly. "I was there because I knew you needed me and that was reason enough."

_God, did he know just how much she needed him_? "So I guess you talked to my father before you drove up here, huh?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I called him because I wanted your address. It surprised me how forthcoming he was with that information."

Sydney grinned. "I know it's hard to believe, but Dad's mellowed a lot since the takedown."

"Well, he probably is under a lot less stress these days." Vaughn remarked.

"Aren't we all?" She mused. An uncomfortable silence ensued as Sydney struggled to think of something else to say. She was still reeling from the fact that he was even here and that made for an awkward vibe between them. It was a feeling she wasn't used to with Vaughn and she was having a difficult time figuring out how to get past it.

"So you didn't actually get married tonight, did you?" Sydney suddenly blurted out and then blushed when she realized she had actually said what she was thinking. _Well, that's one way to bulldoze your way past the awkwardness_.

Sydney's rather blunt inquiry made Vaughn laugh out loud. Their recent troubles notwithstanding, he was glad she had said what was on her mind. Maybe there was hope for them yet. "No, I didn't get married." He replied in an amused voice.

Sydney felt a heavy weight lifted off her shoulders and she was able to breathe normally again. "That's good."

"I'm glad you approve." There was a quiet intensity in Vaughn's gaze as he looked at her and Sydney felt a flutter in her chest. She entertained thoughts of throwing herself into his arms then and there, but was forestalled when calm, cool reasoning took over. _Take it slow, Syd_. _You've got time now_. _He didn't marry Alice, so you have all the time in the world to make this work_. 

Sydney decided to pull back and let the evening progress at its own pace. "Can I get you something to drink? Beer? Water? Red Bull?" She said impishly, knowing she would get a reaction.

Vaughn grimaced. "Oh, God, don't tell me you still drink that nasty stuff!" 

Sydney grinned. "Only when I have to deal with unruly teenagers. Sit down and I'll go get you a beer." She left Vaughn to his own devices and went inside. He took a seat on the pretty white wicker loveseat with the blue-and-yellow flower-sprigged seat cushion, leaving just enough room in case she cared to sit next to him. Vaughn gave himself a moment to catch his breath as he looked out towards the beach that lay almost at Sydney's doorstep. He could see in an instant why she loved it out here.

"Here you go." She was back in a flash and holding out an ice-cold bottle of Bud to him.

"Thanks." Their fingers brushed as he took the bottle from her and they were both thankful the light was so dim. "I was just admiring the view from your porch." He felt vaguely disappointed when Sydney chose to return to the armchair she'd been sitting in when he arrived.  
  
"You should see it when the sun's just coming over the horizon." She smiled at him. "There's nothing prettier than the beach at sunrise." 

Vaughn wondered if he would ever be allowed the opportunity to do just that. "So I understand you bought this place, huh?" _God, what a scintillating conversationalist I am_, he thought self-deprecatingly and took a slug of his beer.

"Yeah, I got a really good deal." Sydney replied. "It needed a lot of work when I first bought it and I've spent the last year fixing it up in my spare time."

"Hmmm, Sydney Bristow in a tool belt." He said teasingly and then turned red when the image of Sydney in nothing _but_ a tool belt suddenly flashed across his mind. "I know you're a master of disguise, but that's a look I don't think I ever remember seeing on you." He managed to cover up his embarrassment with a playful remark.

"Hey, I'll have you know I'm very good with a hammer and nails." She pretended to be insulted. "I've only had three picture frames fall down on me in the past year." She joked.

Vaughn's mouth curved into a smile. "Only three, huh?" They both looked at each other grinning like idiots and it was junior high all over again.

"If you're up for it, I'll give you a tour later on to show off my handiwork." Sydney offered. "Only we should probably skip the second bedroom. I'm still undecided what I want to do in there, so it's a bit of a mess."

"What are your choices?"

"Well, I don't know if I want to turn it into an office or a guest bedroom."

"You'll get a lot more drop-ins if people know you can put them up." He pointed out. "For instance, Weiss would absolutely take advantage if he knew you had an extra bedroom."

Sydney laughed. "I can totally see that happening." She agreed with a smile. "But the thing is that I don't really need an office. I already have a den with plenty of space for my books and my computer and right now I'm not even using them that much since school is out."

"I've been wanting to ask you about that." Vaughn interjected. "How is the whole teaching thing going? Are you enjoying it?"

Sydney was thrilled that Vaughn seemed genuinely interested in hearing about her new career. "Yeah, I do enjoy it." She replied. "I wasn't sure I would at first. I mean, the whole motivation behind getting my graduate degree was based on a lie perpetuated by my Lit professor mother, but I've since realized that it wasn't all about her."

She gave a little shrug. "I like getting the kids to open their minds and to expand their horizons beyond car chase movies and teenage comedies. I like how it makes me feel when my students suddenly stop thinking that I've dumped fifteen pages of boring, hard-to-understand Shakespeare on them and instead they find themselves developing a real appreciation for the beauty and the lyricism of the prose." Sydney suddenly felt her face grow warm. "I just got really cheesy there all of a sudden, didn't I?"

"I prefer to think of it as showing a passion for your work." He smiled. "I'm glad you've found your true calling, Syd. I know you always saw the spy business as the cross you had to bear rather than your destiny in life. It's good that you were able to find something that really makes you happy."

Sydney returned his smile, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. The evening was taking on a very first-date kind of feel, which struck Sydney as a bit odd, considering that they were so far past the awkward, just-getting-to-know-you stage. Hell, they'd already slept together, so it wasn't as if they didn't know all the intimate details about each other.

But physical knowledge aside, maybe this was an opportunity to introduce themselves to each other all over again. This was the real Sydney and Michael, not Sydney and Michael playing spies or Sydney and Michael denying their feelings. They were at a point in their lives where they no longer had to pretend and it was a chance to finally show their true selves.

A sudden movement through the open window caught her eye and Sydney saw that quick bursts of steam were puffing out of her soup pot. She jumped up, which startled Vaughn. "It looks like my water's boiling, so why don't we move this inside?" She suggested.

"Fine with me." Vaughn followed her through the open screen door. While Sydney ducked into the kitchen, he took a moment to survey his surroundings. He decided he liked the cool, airy, beachy feeling in the décor with its simple lines and relaxed ambiance. It suited Sydney's present lifestyle, one in which she didn't have to always be so stressed or fearful or cautious. Whatever his feelings were about the year they had spent apart, he could see that getting out of the spy game had done Sydney a world of good. The worry lines had disappeared from her forehead and her eyes had regained their sparkle. She had always been beautiful to him, but now that she could finally feel comfortable in her own skin, she was downright stunning.

Vaughn wandered into the living room and spotted her copy of the high school yearbook on the coffee table. "Syd, do you mind if I take a look at your yearbook?" He called out to her.

Sydney poked her head out of the kitchen. "Go ahead. The lobsters are steaming now and I'm just about to grill the corn. Do you prefer butter or lemon with your lobster?"

"Butter." He replied. "Preferably real." He added.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes at the intimation that she would have anything else. 

Vaughn started flipping through the pages of the yearbook. The contents were as he expected with the usual candid shots of football games and formal dances and school plays. Then his eyes lit upon one particular photograph that made him do a double-take.

"Um, Syd?" He walked over to the breakfast counter.

"Yes?" She turned around with an expectant look on her face.

"Is this a picture of you in full kickboxing mode?" Vaughn pointed out to her with a straight face.

Sydney felt her face turn red. "I made one tiny mention to the principal that I knew how to kickbox and before I knew it, I found myself running a self-defense class for some of the female students." She waved her hand carelessly. "It actually turned out to be pretty popular. I even had a waiting list and everything."

Vaughn grinned. "Well, sure, who wouldn't want to learn self-defense moves from the Great Sydney Bristow?" He teased her. "I bet everyone was impressed by you, weren't they?"

Her face flushed even hotter. "Maybe I surprised some people." She said offhandedly.

"Like how I surprised you in Cairo?" He raised an inquiring eyebrow.

"I beg your pardon?" Sydney eyes widened at Vaughn's bravado. He had to know what kind of emotions would be stirred up at the mention of an incident which they had never fully discussed. It had been a turning point in their relationship yet they had gone on almost as if it had never happened, so hesitant were they to talk about anything having to do with their feelings for each other. It was a subject they had danced around for years, but never had the guts to explore.  

"Come on, Syd, do I have to jog your memory?" He kidded her. "You don't remember being dazzled by my…moves?" Vaughn said suggestively.

_Oh, my God, is he flirting with me_? _Well, two could play at this game_. "I'm not sure I know which moves you're talking about." Sydney said slowly, looking at Vaughn from beneath her lashes. 

"Well, if I have to draw you a picture, maybe they were pretty forgettable, after all." He ducked his head to hide an amused grin.

"Not hardly, Vaughn." Sydney muttered under her breath, too low for him to hear. By some sort of unspoken mutual agreement, they both decided to drop the heavy stuff for now and stick mainly to the light for the time being. Sydney turned back to the grill and Vaughn went back to the yearbook. 

As is often the case with messages of a personal nature, the temptation to peruse through them (especially when you are not the intended recipient) is very hard to resist. Being the naturally curious sort that he was, Vaughn was no exception to this rule and he was itching to read some of the signatures Sydney had collected in her yearbook. Part of it was due to the inherent nosiness that most human beings possessed, but he also wanted to get a sense of how her students saw her and if they truly appreciated the fact that Sydney put her heart and soul into everything she did.

Vaughn glanced up and saw that Sydney had her back to him, facing the stove. Very casually, he turned back the pages to the front cover and let his eyes wander over a few of the scrawled messages. Most of them were of the rather mild, thanks-for-a-great-year sort, but there were a couple that raised his eyebrows. Vaughn wondered to himself if Sydney had had the chance to read what some of her students had written to her.

"You know, I think it's great that you were able to make such a good impression on the kids. From the looks of it, you were pretty readily accepted for a first-year teacher." He commented.

Sydney flashed him a quick smile. "It was beginner's luck, I think." She shrugged. "I think the bigger test will be next year."

"I don't see how that will be a problem. A new year means a whole new crop of teenage boys getting crushes on you." He pointed out to her with a teasing smirk on his face.

Her cheeks turned pink and Sydney hoped Vaughn would attribute it to the steam from the boiling pot. "Whatever gave you the idea that they're all going to have crushes on me?" She demanded to know.

"Have you read what some of these guys have written in your yearbook?" Vaughn queried her.

"Michael, that's personal!" Sydney cried out indignantly.

"Sorry, my line of work encourages inquisitiveness." He replied shamelessly. "Besides, Syd, I know about these things. I was a teenage boy once."

"Yeah, like a hundred years ago." She needled him.

He shot her a withering glance. "All I know is that if I had a teacher who looked like you, I would have had a major crush." He said softly, gaining the upper hand once more as Sydney blushed furiously.

"Why don't you go open the wine, Michael?" Sydney suggested, so that she could have a moment to compose herself without being under his watchful gaze. "Dinner's ready, so I'll just bring everything to the table."

During a leisurely dinner, Sydney and Vaughn took the opportunity to catch up on each other's lives. At first glance, it might have appeared that they were simply two old friends who hadn't seen each other in awhile, but there was also a very definite undercurrent running through their conversation, one of which they gamely tried to ignore. At least for a little while, anyway.

Vaughn was a bit surprised that he was able to fall back into his old comfort zone with Sydney so easily. With Alice, he could never reveal too much to her about his work and he frequently got the impression that she didn't much care, anyway. But with Sydney, he didn't have to hold anything back; he could complain to her about one of his pompous superiors or the bureaucratic red tape he constantly had to cut through in order to get things done and she would listen with a sympathetic ear. She knew firsthand how frustrating the job could get sometimes and he appreciated the fact that she had the background knowledge to understand how he felt. 

Of course, he was careful not to drone on too long about his job. He was pleased when he made her laugh as he regaled her with some of Weiss' latest dating mishaps and he grinned embarrassedly when she told him she was glad he and Will had become pals. The more they talked, the more Vaughn realized just how much he had missed her. The past year had been an absolute hell for him, but it wasn't just because he had been separated from the woman he loved. It was also because he had lost a friend. Sydney was someone he liked and respected as well as loved. She was bright and beautiful and courageous and smart. She made him think and she made him smile. She made him believe that love was a strong enough force to make anything possible.

For her part, Sydney contributed what it had been like for her during her first year of teaching. She told him about the butterflies she'd had in her stomach on her first day and that she felt bad for thinking that the department meetings were too boring for words. She confessed to wishing for a Marshall clone to liven things up and gave a shudder as she related how she pictured Sloane every time she looked at Dr. Bosworth, the head of the English department. Vaughn chided her that she still had SD-6 on the brain and suggested that all she needed to do was put some time and space between her old career and her new one.

She also talked to Vaughn about her growing closeness to her father. Vaughn was well aware as to the wide spectrum of emotions she'd experienced where Jack Bristow was concerned, so she felt at ease in discussing the changes that had occurred in their relationship during the last year.

Over the past five years, Sydney had discovered some of her father's darkest secrets--a few of which he would probably prefer that she not know--but for whatever reason, she still had it in her to forgive him for his cover-ups and half-truths. Vaughn listened with interest as Sydney told him about last summer and how Jack had proved his love for his daughter by being there for her in her darkest hour.

"Whatever else you want to say about Jack, it was always very clear to me that you were his number one priority, Sydney." Vaughn said to her. "Your father loves you and although we've had our differences in the past, even I can't deny that."

"You don't know the half of it, Michael." Sydney murmured enigmatically, thinking about the role her father had played in all of this. If he hadn't sent her that fake wedding invitation, she never would have gone back to L.A. to disrupt Vaughn's wedding plans. They never would have seen each other again, they never would have made love and he certainly wouldn't be sitting at her dining table at this very moment. It was all her father's doing and she would always be supremely grateful to him for showing once again that he only had her best interests at heart.

There was a lull in the conversation as Sydney took her moment to reflect. Vaughn wondered to himself if now was the right time to lay his cards on the table. _Well_, _it's not as if you haven't exhausted every other possible topic of conversation except for the most obvious one_, he thought with a wry twist of his lips.  

Vaughn made a big show of putting his napkin on his plate and pushing back from the table. "Everything was delicious, Sydney. The fact that you know how to cook is just one more thing I never knew about you." He said with a smile.

"You're making it sound as if I'm the next Julia Child." She protested modestly. "All I did was boil some water and turn on the grill. The tart was from a bakery in town."

"Well, yeah, I didn't figure it was possible for you to be a gourmet chef in addition to all of your other talents, but the meal still came together rather nicely." He complimented her.

"I've gotten a lot better since I've been living by myself." Sydney responded. "Before I was always too tired to do anything more than open a can of soup, but now that I have the time, it's kind of fun to experiment." She suddenly let out a short laugh. "Oh, that reminds me! You should have seen my father's face the first time I tried to make a chicken pot pie. I forgot to put a hole in the top of the crust to let the steam come out and it pretty much exploded all over my oven." Vaughn joined in her laughter with an amused chuckle.

"Okay, so I'll never be in Francie's league." She said with a careless shrug. "You know, she was telling me about some complicated recipe she was making for--" Sydney suddenly stopped short and felt her face start to burn. Vaughn immediately noticed the high color in her cheeks and then a split second later, he realized why it was there.

"Were you going to say it was for my wedding reception?" He finished for her in a quiet voice.

She gave him a tentative glance. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring it up before you were ready to talk about it."

"Don't apologize." He shook his head. "I know we've been talking around it all night and you've been great about not pushing for an explanation."   

"Well, it's not as if we haven't had other stuff to talk about." Sydney replied. "And the truth is, I've had a wonderful time tonight catching up with you. We had fun and we made each other laugh. It eases a little bit of the pain I feel at the thought of missing out on the last year of your life."

"A part of me hates the fact that your life went on without me." She admitted in a small voice. "I hate that I wasn't around to celebrate your promotion or yell at you for taking Weiss to that strip club for his birthday." She scolded him with a smile.

"Hey, that was his idea." Vaughn objected. "Will and I just went along for the ride."

"Uh-huh." Sydney rolled her eyes, not believing him for a second. "The point I'm trying to make is that I didn't mind all the build-up to the main event." She gave him a look of encouragement.

"You know, I think that statement could pertain to our relationship as well." Vaughn quipped and then he sobered. "If we're being honest here, I have to say that I've missed you, too. You were such a huge part of my life for so many years and then all of a sudden you weren't there anymore." He gave her a look of chagrin. "That's part of the reason why I became so bitter towards you. I had all these feelings of anger and resentment over the fact that you had deserted me and it was like a knot in my gut that just kept growing and growing."

"Of course, now I think I was just feeding it so that it would be big enough to fill the void that was created by your absence." Vaughn shook his head with a grim look on his face.

Sydney wished desperately that she could do something to ease Vaughn's pain. She wanted to reach out to him, to trace her fingers along his brow to erase the worry lines or place a comforting hand on his cheek to let him know she understood how he was feeling. They both had traveled down the same road to get here. She knew quite well how misunderstandings could lead to feelings of animosity and ill will. She had experienced them herself when she thought he had cast her aside to welcome Alice into his bed.  

"Michael…" Sydney started to say, but he cut her off gently.

"Syd, you don't have to say anything. We've already settled this." Vaughn met her gaze. "We've acknowledged that we both made mistakes in how we handled things. We jumped to conclusions that weren't true and we didn't put enough faith in whatever it is we had."

"But I hope that's all behind us now." He gave her an urgent look. "We've forgiven each other, haven't we?"

Sydney nodded slowly. "Yes, Michael." She said softly.

Vaughn smiled at her and exhaled a deep breath. "Okay, so where do I begin my tale of horror about The Wedding That Wasn't?"

Sydney grinned for his attempt at humor. "Why don't we start with why it didn't happen?" 

"It was a combination of things." He replied. "From the moment we ran into each other at the cocktail reception, I started to have doubts about what I was doing. For awhile there, I tried to tell myself that it was just pre-wedding jitters, but the fact is that before you made your sudden reappearance into my life, I didn't have the slightest qualm about getting married. I was actually kind of looking forward to the whole production."

"But seeing you again stirred up all those old feelings I thought were dead and buried." Vaughn's mouth quirked. "I began to question my motives about why I was marrying Alice. Did I ask her to marry me because I truly cared about her or because she made me think it was the next logical step in our relationship? Or did I ask her simply because I thought she would make me forget about you?" He looked up at Sydney, who felt her heart do a little flip-flop in her chest.

"Even after what happened between us yesterday, I was still prepared to do the honorable thing and go through with the wedding." Vaughn said a bit hesitantly. "We had the rehearsal last night and I felt like an absolute heel standing up there in front of everyone, professing my undying love to one woman while I was thinking of another."

"Will told me a little bit about what went on last night." Sydney put in. "He said you seemed a bit distracted."

He let out a short laugh. "He wasn't the only one who noticed. When we were all at the restaurant, Eric was shadowing me like a hawk, pestering me about where I had disappeared to during the barbecue and if it had anything to do with you."

"Did you tell him about us?"

"No, I managed to dodge him." Vaughn shook his head. "Alice was being extra-clingy during dinner, so he and I didn't have much time to talk."

"I thought he would start in on me again this morning at breakfast." He went on. "But I don't know, maybe I was giving off some kind of I-don't-want-to-talk-about-it vibe because he didn't say one thing about you or me or the wedding. All we did was talk baseball for the entire time. It could have been just another one of those typical Saturday mornings when he and I would meet for a game of racquetball and then go out to eat. It certainly wasn't anything out-of-the-ordinary like I would have expected it to be on the morning of my wedding." 

"And that's when it hit me. This was supposed to be one of the biggest days of my life and I was trying to avoid talking about it. Any other guy marrying the woman he loved would probably either be a bundle of nerves or shouting about it from the rooftops, but I was more interested in debating with my best friend which stadium serves the best hot dogs." Vaughn gave a hapless shrug as Sydney grinned.

"That's when I started asking myself the big question. 'Do I want to spend the rest of my life with someone I can't even get excited about on my wedding day?'" His green eyes softened as he looked at Sydney. "You and I both know that life is too precious to waste on someone who doesn't inspire you or elicit any real feelings of passion." 

"After Eric dropped me off at home, I just sat there in my living room trying to get my head together so that I could face Alice." Vaughn grimaced. "It wasn't that I was scared about telling her, but I just knew it was going to be a horrible scene. When I finally couldn't stand it any longer, I grabbed my car keys and I headed over to her house. It was still early afternoon and she wasn't even dressed yet, thank goodness."

"When I rang the bell, one of Alice's bridesmaids answered the door and she actually tried to bar me from entering the house because of some dumb superstition that the groom shouldn't see the bride before the wedding." He rolled his eyes.

"Well, to be fair, it's not so dumb considering Alice _would_ have been better off if she hadn't seen you." Sydney pointed out.

"Whatever." He said dismissively. "Anyway, I told Mandy or Candy or Sandy--I don't know who she was exactly because there were so many of them--that if she didn't let me in to see Alice, there might not be a wedding."

Sydney's eyes boggled. "You threatened a bridesmaid?"

"Desperate times call for desperate measures." Vaughn said flippantly. "Long story short, she let me upstairs."

"I think Alice knew why I was there the moment she laid eyes on me." He said somberly. "When I told her I couldn't go through with the wedding, she lost it and she started screaming and crying about how I couldn't do this to her again." His jaw twitched and Sydney could see in his eyes that Alice's tirade had affected him.

She put her hand over his as a gesture of sympathy. "I'm not Alice's biggest fan, but I know she must have been hurting." Her sentiment was genuine, but at the same time, Sydney couldn't feel too sorry for the woman. What Alice had been planning to do to Vaughn was sick and twisted and she deserved to have her evil scheme thwarted.

"I'm sure she was, but I also have this nagging feeling in my gut that she was more concerned about what everyone would think of her when they found out the wedding had been called off rather than the fact that our relationship was over." Vaughn looked regretful. "I think Alice was always more into the spectacle of the event rather than the marriage itself and what it really meant."

"I mean, she kept going on and on about the flowers she had imported from Holland and all the gifts she'd have to return and the wasted food--"

"Oh, God, Francie!" Sydney suddenly blurted out. "She's going to be stuck with all that food for the reception!"

"Well, actually, she's going to make out all right with that." Vaughn assured her. "Francie's already been paid for everything she's catered up until today plus a deposit for the reception. Will was able to catch her before she started doing any of the actual cooking, so she'll be able to serve whatever food she bought for the reception at the restaurant and it'll all be on Alice's tab."

"Did you just say that Will and Francie both knew you called off the wedding hours ago?" Sydney wondered to herself if she should strangle her friends tonight or wait until tomorrow.

Vaughn looked amused. "Don't be mad that they didn't tell you. Once they found out that I was on my way to see you, they pretty much agreed to keep their mouths shut without my even asking."

"Some friends." She sniffed.

"I think they just thought you would be more receptive to the news if you heard it straight from me." He said uncertainly.

"Receptive?"

Vaughn averted her gaze. "Sydney, I wasn't sure how you'd react to seeing me after the way we left things yesterday." 

"That was probably the worst moment of my life." She admitted. "And considering my past, I think you know there's a lot there that hasn't exactly been pleasant."

He nodded. "It was the worst moment of my life as well."

"So what does it mean that you're here, Michael?" Sydney asked a bit shakily. "I mean, I understand that you called off the wedding because you realized you didn't love Alice, but yesterday, you seemed really definite about not wanting to try again with me."

"And I tried to make myself believe it, too." He said to her. "What happened in the stables yesterday…the fact that we made love…somehow I had this crazy notion that what we did would enable me to get you out of my system." Vaughn gave a rueful shake of his head. "I didn't have to fantasize anymore about how it would be to make love to you because it finally came to be reality."

"But I was only kidding myself, Syd. I didn't want to deal with the trust issues I had with you, so I tried to convince myself that the only thing we'd had between us was an intense physical attraction. In my heart, I knew what we shared went so much deeper than that, but it didn't stop me from thinking that now I could close the book on you and quit obsessing on lost opportunities."

"Is that what it meant to you?" Her lip trembled. "You were finally able to score with someone who was the object of your desire for so many years and now all of a sudden, I've been reduced to a checkmark on your To-Do List?" Sydney's voice rose dangerously.  

"No, Sydney, no, that's not what I meant." Vaughn said urgently. "Maybe I'm not explaining this right, but what I'm trying to say is that I _couldn't_ forget about you. You're a part of me. You're in my heart and in my soul. I could live for another thousand years and it would still always be about you."

Sydney met Vaughn's gaze. She saw how honest and true he looked and it melted away any hostility she might have felt towards him.

"Last night, I got home after the rehearsal dinner and I just laid there in my bed for hours, thinking about everything we had gone through in the past five years." He looked thoughtful. "There were definitely some very good moments, but there were also a lot of bad ones."

"What I got out of that stroll down memory lane was that we survived, Syd." Vaughn gave her a slight smile. "Whatever we had between us was solid enough to get us through five years of the most nerve-wracking obstacles on the planet. It's not everyday that you have to risk death in order to be with the person you love."

He reached over to take her hands in his. "Sydney, we've waited too long for me to just give up on you because I'm afraid of being hurt again." Vaughn gazed deeply into her eyes. "Okay, so I know there are no guarantees if we have what it takes to make this a full-time deal, but I'm willing to place a pretty hefty-sized bet that we do. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, isn't that how that saying goes?" 

"Something like that." Sydney murmured.

"So what do you think, Syd? Do you want to find out if we can have the life we always dreamed about with each other?" Vaughn was afraid his heart was pounding so loudly she could hear it beating within his chest.

Sydney looked at Vaughn with her heart so full of love for him that she thought it would burst. From circumstances borne of tragedy, she had somehow managed to find this wonderful man, someone who had made her realize that she could love again, madly and deeply and all the way to the center of her being. For awhile, it seemed as if their love would not be enough to sustain them, but now they had found their way back to each other and she would never again be foolish enough to let him go.

Sydney's eyes started to fill and then she rewarded him with one of her high-beam smiles. "Oh, Michael!" Suddenly she was in his arms and clinging to him as if her life depended on it. Vaughn breathed a sigh of relief as he enfolded her into his embrace.

"I love you, Michael." She whispered in his ear and then pulled back to look at him. "I love you for being the one person I could always trust. I love you for that certain smile you have that always turns my knees to jelly." Sydney giggled at him when he blushed. "And I love you because just being near you causes my pulse to race even after all these years." She touched a finger along his jawline.

"You make it sound as if we're halfway into a retirement village with that 'after all these years' talk." Vaughn teased her. "Five years isn't so much in the grand scheme of things."

"No, not when we have a whole lifetime ahead of us." She agreed happily.

He smiled at her. "I like the thought of growing old with you, Sydney. That was always what it was about, you know. We did what we did so that we could get to this point."

"I'm so glad we finally made it." She smiled back at him.

"I love you, Sydney." Vaughn's arms tightened around her as he bent his head to kiss her.

Sydney's entire body shivered with pleasure as she responded eagerly to his touch.

After some lovely, lingering moments in each other's arms, Sydney and Vaughn reluctantly stopped down to catch a much-needed breath. Like a couple of fools, they couldn't stop smiling at each other, but hey, they were fools in love.  

"You know, I have to say your mother was dead-on about you." Sydney mused.

"My mother was what?" Vaughn raised an eyebrow. "When did you talk to my mother?"

His reaction made her curious. "What, is she off-limits to me or something?" She asked lightly.

"No, of course not, it's just…well, you know, our families have a history and it's not a very happy one." He said awkwardly.

"That's true." Sydney said softly. "I introduced myself to her yesterday at the barbecue."

"Can I ask why?"

"She's someone I've always wanted to meet." Sydney replied truthfully. She would tell him later about the real reason why she had approached Mrs. Vaughn, but right now she didn't want Alice to intrude on their happiness. "Your mother was so lovely and gracious to me, Michael. It's probably more than I deserve, all things considered."

"Syd," Vaughn caressed her cheek with his thumb. "My mother doesn't blame you for my father's death any more than I do."

"I know, she told me that." She nodded. "She also told me that if you followed your heart, you would make the right decision."

"I guess my mom knows me better than even I realized." He smiled. 

"You know what? We have to celebrate." Sydney gently extracted herself out of his arms. "I have a bottle of champagne in the refrigerator that would be perfect."

"Should I even ask why a mild-mannered schoolteacher such as yourself has a bottle of champagne in her refrigerator?" Vaughn asked teasingly.

"If you stick around long enough, you just might find out." Sydney said saucily and then darted into the kitchen.

Sydney came back with the bottle of champagne and two fluted champagne glasses. She gave the bottle to Vaughn to open and placed the glasses on the table. It was then that she noticed the small black velvet box.

Her breath caught and she looked at Vaughn, who was looking at her. "Is that for me?" She asked hesitantly.

"Yes, it is." He nodded.

Sydney made no move to reach for the box. "Please tell me you didn't buy that today on what was supposed to be your wedding day."

"No, Syd, I promise I didn't." Vaughn swallowed back the lump in his throat. "I've actually had it for awhile."

"How long is awhile?"

"I bought it last year." He confessed. "The day before the SD-6 takedown."

Sydney closed her eyes as hot tears squeezed out from beneath her eyelashes. She had been such a fool. _All that time wasted_… 

She opened her eyes. "Y-you were planning to propose to me?" Her voice cracked.

"It was my intention to, yes." Vaughn acknowledged.

"But I never gave you the chance…" She let her words trail off.

"Sydney, none of that matters anymore. All that matters is that I'm here now." He put down the bottle of champagne and picked up the ring box. "Engagement rings don't have expiration dates on them, you know, and I actually still like this one as much as I did on the day I bought it."

He was trying to make her feel better and it made her smile. "Do you like it more than Alice's?" She heckled him. "I've been meaning to ask you about that, you know. Did you really pick out Alice's ring?"

"That monstrosity?" Vaughn's nose wrinkled adorably. "I like to think I have some taste."

Sydney stifled a grin. "So should I take it that _she_ chose the ring she was wearing?"

"I gave her a perfectly nice-sized diamond, but she wanted something showy." He made a face.

"A ring like that must have cost a small fortune." Sydney commented.

"Yeah, lucky for me I got it back when she threw it in my face." He quipped and she laughed out loud.

"Syd, I don't want to talk about Alice anymore. She's out of my life, for good this time. You are the only woman I've ever truly loved with all of my heart." Vaughn opened the black velvet ring box and presented it to her. "Sydney Bristow, will you marry me?"

Sydney let out an audible gasp. Oh, the ring was breathtaking, a pear-cut diamond with two smaller side accents set into an antiqued gold setting. She gazed back at Vaughn with tears in her eyes. "Oh, Michael, how did you ever pick out the one ring in the world I would love more than anything else?"

"I guess I'm just talented that way." He gave her a smile. "Do you have an answer for me, Sydney? Do I finally get to slip this ring on your finger?"  
  


"Yes, yes, yes, I will marry you!" She threw her arms around his neck and kissed him soundly.

A few moments later (okay, several moments later), Vaughn removed the ring from the box and lovingly placed it on Sydney's finger. He admired it for a moment and then brought her hand to his lips. "I love you, Sydney. It's always been you."

I love you, too, Vaughn." She wanted to say more, but then he was kissing her again and she decided that they had said all they needed to say. Vaughn was here and they were finally together. What could be more perfect than that?

The End

*     *     *     *     *

Epilogue (Because I couldn't resist):

One month later, Sydney Bristow married Michael Vaughn in a small but elegant ceremony along the beach at dusk. The bride looked stunningly beautiful in a white silk sheath dress with the tiniest bit of a train. The groom was exceptionally handsome in his black tuxedo and a white silk tie. The maid of honor was Francie Calfo and the best man was Eric Weiss. The only guests in attendance were the bride's father, Jack Bristow, the groom's mother, Marguerite Vaughn, and the couple's good friend, Will Tippin.

No invitations necessary.

The End (Really)

**Author's Note**: Awww, I'm so sad this is over because I had a blast writing it. Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to read and review. I'll probably never be able to top the 700+ reviews, but it's been extremely gratifying to know how much you guys enjoyed my fic. A special shout-out to a few of you reviewers out there (and I hope you know who you are) who really made me feel good with all the nice things you had to say.

I don't know when I'll be back with my next one (it's still in the very early stages - S/V, of course), but I hope you'll check it out when it gets posted.

Thanks again,

Rhonda


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